dwmarch

The show obviously couldn't show us too much and it might just be my twisted imagination filling in the blanks here but at first I thought Luci was drawing a heart on the cast... and as he continued drawing the heart started to look like a hairy nutsack. So very Lucifer! Is this show still filming in Vancouver? In the first season there were a few odds and ends that were definitely north of the 49th parallel but this season I haven't seen much of anything (aside from one unusually dense forest) to suggest they're filming in Hollywood north.

They've got nothing on CBS. On Hawaii 5-0 one character actually told another character she should "Bing it" as if anyone ever actually does that (and I say that as someone who has owned two cell phones, both of which were Nokia Lumias running Windows 8). Every episode is a Microsoft commercial although some are more subtle than others. To tell you the truth, I didn't even notice the Microsoft products in this show because they are so over-the-top on 5-0. In any case, it becomes apparent that someone in Redmond decided to dump a bucket of cash on Hollywood if only Hollywood would attempt to make their teeny tiny market share look cool.

The show is on Fox so it's possible we are not seeing the episodes in intended order.

Finally some forward movement! I'm imagining the morning meeting at Sandstorm HQ. Shepherd says "Alright everyone, drive around in SUVs and jeeps and rev the engines a lot while making your best scowling faces." All the mooks reply "Why?" Shepherd: "Because Jane is really dumb." Like seriously, Jane. You have just enough time for sneaky shit simply because they keep leaving you alone while they tend to other things and you don't think that's awfully convenient? Also in the Jane is smart like dump truck file, she gets outed by a spelling mistake. And Sandstorm is supposed to be this paramilitary outfit that draws from the ranks of the Navy SEALs (including those who did not graduate but still got the tattoo, WTF?) and other special forces but they can't blow up one house in a manner that kills all within? Nice of the house to collapse in a way that would injure a couple of main characters, kill most of the FBI mooks (except that one who got nothing more than a reassuring pat on the shoulder and directions to fuck off courtesy of Weller) and stay intact until they were just outside the blast radius. I see Dafuq Consulting and Don Geevasheet engineering have been busy. Cruel I know but I had to laugh when Borden was looking at the bombed village from miles away and was calling out his wife's name. I'm sure it's a natural reaction in such a scenario, perhaps even that first stage of grief, denial. But I was watching and thinking dude, she totally can't hear you. So the shadow government decides to shit-can Orion and executes all the team members except Jane, who is lost in Afghanistan. They get a lead on her but have no idea where they might find the other white girl in the small Afghan village. So they carpet bomb the whole place instead. Well, for what's worth that is some deep villainy right there and I could understand why Jane would want to bring those guys down. I loved that Jane dosed Roman with that Zip drug. Didn't the show already establish that Jane had been given a high-to-insane amount of it? Whatever, so long as she gets her brother back. I predict anger management issues for him. I was also very fond of how Jane immediately recruited Borden after he watched his village and wife get blown up. However, I have a feeling the wife might still be out there somewhere. No body = no death and this show has shown us that at least once. Patterson took a moment to forget how to be a cop while going for the woman-scorned takedown. I know the FBI is fresh out of ninjas because they spent them all on an empty house but seriously, could she not have found a couple unis from the local PD to come along? Reade loves Zapata! She however does not return the affection. I thought she was about to confess her gambling addiction. And I know she's just sad for what Reade is going through but she's not shedding any tears because he watched a pedophile choke on his own blood. She'd have shot the guy herself if she had been there.

I liked this episode. Good tension, some subtle Die Hard references (the crawl space and Danny taking out the first bad guy - now I have a machine gun, ho ho ho), continuity (Danny is still claustrophobic), lots of fun and even a random Dog the Bounty Hunter appearance that kind of made sense. I do wish the team was a little more genre-savvy in realizing that if communications go down for even a second it means someone is in trouble! They really should know that by now! This show handled the Will and Grace relationship exactly the way I hoped it would. Danny knows Grover's son is a good kid and Grover understands why Danny is overprotective. I also love that they are an interracial couple and no one has a problem with that. However, I am sure the next group to kidnap them will be white supremacists. 5-0 has killed a lot of terrorists, they're way overdue to kill some Nazis. I knew the Philippines government was going to execute the terrorist immediately. Jerry can go from the 5-0 and friends poker game to 5-0 headquarters where he can all by himself fire up the Microsoft PixelSense and research terrorist groups who are holding hostages on the island. So he's got keys to the building, computer logins and the absolute trust of the team. And they haven't given him a badge because? I am sure the show won't go here because while they can have all the violence they want people still get skittish about sex. But I'd sure laugh if the parents were all worried about W&G having sex and they ended up doing so (offscreen of course) but admitted to their parents that it wasn't that special and they were legit confused about all the hype.

Exactly! You can get righteously hit by a car running down the middle of the street. But how many solid objects did those women run past that would have completely impeded a car's progress? Also, a human being has a much better turning radius than a car! To this point none of the ridiculousness has really stood out to me but Riggs blowing up a car with a single shot in such a way that it rockets over the head of the woman he's trying to protect... that was some bullshit right there. It would have been much more realistic if he used his super Navy SEAL skills to put a precision shot into the driver's head and the vehicle came to a halt right before hitting the girl. I am also pretty sure that your smart TV won't network with your phone and pull all the photos off of it unless you put the password in first. And if a young lady is sending sexy selfies to some dude I'd assume she'd password protect them. Murtagh's son stole the show with his memorizing of the phone number and comment about the male gaze. Murtagh's wife was solid in this too. I love that's tough without being bitchy. Great music in this episode, particularly that emotional song towards the end. I hope I can track that one down. Edit, in answer to my own question, Sandra Van Nieuwland, Stop the Clocks.

I love how Carrie's snit-fit at Dar Adal consists entirely of her saying "No, you!" He really is a poopy-head, isn't he?

Well not bad for a McGarrett/Cath/Mom angst episode. This episode is particularly interesting because the team was going up against CIA Special Activities Division guys (who are drawn from the ranks of Navy SEALS and the like) and they managed to take down the whole compound without resorting to lethal force! Now perhaps my memory is fuzzy (paging BW Manilowe!) but I seem to recall Steve shooting a CIA guy who messed with his mom. But now all of a sudden the CIA Black Ops guys who aren't even supposed to exist are worthy of non-lethal consideration? Strange wardrobe choices for the team. When the reinforcements showed up Kono and Grover were in winter coats and Mama McGarrett was rocking black leather. I realize Morocco probably gets winter-coat worthy cold at night but I'd imagine they'd be dying of heatstroke in those coats by day. However, props to McGarrett. As soon as Cath shows up he immediately doffs his date-wear and breaks out the cargo khakis. I guess since 5-0 broke up that death cult and scared that serial killer away it's okay for them to leave their unusually violent island behind while they go fight some Special Ops guys halfway around the world. This show is distant cousins with Star Trek so of course the entire bridge crew goes in the same shuttlecraft. FWIW I don't think Grover is a dummy and I think he knows exactly who Grace is seeing but wants to see if his son will tell him or not. Now I neither want nor need this plotline but if we're going to be subject to it anyhow, I have a specific hope. I hope Grover is all worried about telling Danny about the kids dating. And Danny eventually finds out (when Grover finally fesses up) and instead of Danny being mad, he's relieved. "Oh, it's your son? Why didn't you say so? I know him and I know he's a good kid. I know I don't have to tell him to act proper because you already did. And I'm so happy Grace isn't dating Little Johnny because that kid is a punk!" I cried on Chin's behalf. However I am sure the little girl's aunt and uncle will turn out to be notorious bad guys who will obligingly fly to Hawaii for some big score and Chin will be forced to gun them down when they refuse to surrender. After all, since they had a non-lethal week this week, 5-0's got some catching up to do.

So the idea is that if you want to get a commando team into Walter Reed Army Medical Center all you have to do is stage a bus accident and the staff and security at the hospital will ignore the 30 or so swarthy suspicious Russian-accented military-aged males who garrison the lobby. They don't check backpacks and to fool the desk staff all you have to do is put on a coat that says "Doctor" on it somewhere and you're good to go. The FBI, US Marshals and the hospital security (which I would think would consist of actual soldiers for a high-value prisoner) don't find any of this suspicious. Silly Lizzie (as expected). "He's going to spend the rest of his life in prison!" And if you'd let him just die in custody instead of trying to save him, that would still be true. But since Lizzie is apparently terrible at Easter Egg hunts (something she gets from her real father perhaps?) she's got to keep Kirk alive so she can find out where the rest of the anachronistic coffee cans with sentimental knick-knacks are buried. As soon as Lizzie found out Kirk wasn't her actual father she should have shot him in the forehead instead of moping. Tom actually got to be the voice of reason for once. Forget the past, let's move on.

Great episode! Last season had a bit too much emphasis on Palmetto and Dan and that other corrupt cop. I didn't really care all that much about those plots. This season is still fun (Trixie and Maze for the epic win!) but also more serious and it's actually working. There was a great meaningful moment when Maze showed her real face to Trixie and Trixie's reaction was joy. Maze doesn't get that a lot I would imagine. Her reaction (a slight smile) was great and I like that she's bonding with someone who has so little in common with her. However, I have to laugh at Trixie's concern that Maze wasn't wearing a costume. Let's see... skintight leather pants, a corset and over-the-knee boots. And Trixie thinks this is entirely normal. As much as she might like to be the President of Mars I think Trixie might end up being a dominatrix when she grows up. I also loved that bit about Trixie's random costume and the confused guy who didn't know what to make of her. Maze's "she's the President of Mars, duh!" was gold! I'm intrigued by Mom saying that she could get Amenadiel's powers back... along with hers. Doesn't she remember turning a mugger into salsa by chucking him into a brick wall? Does she mean to say she wishes to be more powerful than that? Lucifer's actual face wasn't really that scary. Still human-shaped but slightly asymmetrical and missing skin. Plus red eyes. Not exactly the stuff of nightmares although seeing his normally handsome mug morph into that would be disconcerting I am sure. If anyone was wondering about the song Luci played on the piano it was "Unforgiven" by Metallica. The music in this show continues to be on point.

I was a little surprised that Kono and Adam didn't try talking to their captors at all. Hey folks, you just kidnapped a member of the Governor's Special Task Force and the former head of the local Yakuza (who just got out of jail!). I know they would have had to play up Adam's role because he divested his interests in the criminal side of things but still I bet he could talk a convincing game about who would come looking and what they would do to whomever they found... But they didn't even try. I also find myself wishing Kono was genre-savvy enough to realize that if she had worn a skirt instead of comfortable pants she never would have been kidnapped in the first place. Dust off that lovely leather number, Mrs. Noshimuri... your husband deserves it and it will prevent kidnappings. And considering how much trouble these two get into on a regular basis they both should have been packing serious heat regardless of what they were wearing. In fact, Kono should have pulled a Lady Gaga except instead of a dress made out of meat she should have been wearing one made entirely of semi-automatic weapons, grenades and spare clips. Adam killed a couple-few people which I am sure is allowed under the terms of his parole so long as he is with an officer of 5-0 and in the course of defending himself against a death cult. Speaking of couple-few, I heard Danno say that this episode. It's a saying of mine that I picked up from somewhere and now I realize it could have been this show. (Last week's "on accident" was something I had heard from a Youtuber who had no idea there was another way of expressing the same sentiment) And speaking of that death cult, I love it when 5-0 solves murders that have been going on for years by being in the wrong place at the right time. That's how real police work is done! Jerry the conspiracy theorist actually uses the data vacuum known as Windows 10? Hey Cortana, could you please violate my privacy? Not loving moody, bitchy, whiny Grace. Look kid, sooner than you know it some bad guy is going to kidnap you and threaten to do all manner of terrible things to you because he hates your dad for being a cop. And at that point you are going to wish you were hanging around with Jerry carving overly intricate pumpkins!

There were a few things I liked. First and foremost was Aram being smart enough to figure out he was being played five seconds after his team found out. I do think it's silly that he felt all betrayed by them not telling him. Like dude, we were literally just discussing this new development as you were walking over here. I see Samar read my posts here about how to actually meaningfully get Aram's attention. That tender kiss on the cheek isn't as forward as her sweaty sex with Ressler but it's a clear signal nonetheless. It didn't bother me that she forgave Aram for telling her off last week. She did have it coming for her passive-aggressive shittiness towards him and bearing in mind that she is an Iranian-Jewish Mossad agent I'm sure she's heard worse. Is The Box this show's way of establishing how badass someone is supposed to be? Like a 21st century version of Hannibal Lecter's prison getup or that Steve Buscemi character from Con Air? These mofos are so dangerous they have to be CONTAINED! But there's no toilet in the box so you've got to let them out every time they have to poop. I think that's in the Constitution. I don't know if they were intentionally trying to invoke Elodie Yung's Elektra (from Daredevil S2) character with Kirk's assistant but I couldn't help but notice she was wearing a similar black blouse and leather skirt combo that Elektra wore in one episode. Badassedness to follow I assume. Really hoping that the Mr. Kaplan plot consists of her gathering her strength so that she can kill that dude with a single unexpected move. I was also surprised to discover that Nick's Pizza is actually a pizza joint! However I wonder how Aram didn't blow his cover at that point considering that his girlfriend was there with him and knew damn well that he didn't order a pizza first thing in the morning! Kirk surrendered because he didn't want to listen to Lizzie whining at him all night. Take your friggin' baby, dismantle my criminal empire... just shut up already!

Since I am most likely the only Juggalo on these boards I had a great laugh at that line. But it made me wonder what Mack's favorite ICP songs would be. "My Axe" would be an obvious choice. "Guts on the Ceiling" might be apropos. But considering the way things have been going so far I wouldn't be surprised if it was "Fuck the World".

That about says it! To this point the show has mostly been procedural case-of-the-week with a supernatural element thrown in. But this episode went deep into the mythology and like you said... WOW. I haven't seen angelic ass-kicking like that since the Christopher Walker horror movie The Prophecy. Fine work from everyone involved, including Marc Dacascos who has been known to give a block of wood a run for its money. And in addition to the trenchcoat and brooding, we also had an Angel reference in having Cordelia mourn Wesley! Luci and Dan bonding over cheesy action flicks was comedy gold. I also adored Ella's "get a room already" followed by a sheepish "too soon?" when she notices that Dan isn't having it. Last but not least, Maze brought me a good laugh when she actually barked at that kid and made him apologize immediately! Also in the wow department, Luci sure looked like ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag at the end. Incredible episode. I started watching this show for the envelope-pushing humor and leather-clad lovelies. And while there is still much of both at all times, I'm now watching because I really want to know what's going to happen! Hashtag Team Lucifer!

That is what keeps me watching this show. Everyone once in a while they hit an emotional beat that is just incredible and in this episode they did it twice. First with the father remembering his son from better times and a few moments later with the inmate and his unexpected reunion with his daughter. I don't expect to be near tears watching an action-adventure-comedy-shoot-em-up but this episode knocked it out of the park. Although it is difficult to pack all the nuances of the gun argument into 42 minutes of television I liked how it was handled here. Of course Danny is going to be of the school of thought that less guns equals less problems. And of course, Steve the super SEAL is going to believe in the benefits of a well-armed citizenry. The episode seemed to come down on the anti-gun side of things: the judge who was packing got shot for his trouble and completely failed to resolve the situation while the suspect was eventually brought in by a conversation rather than a bullet. I was also surprised to note Danny's use of "on accident". I Googled (or Binged as this show would have it) this term and was surprised to find it is somewhat controversial in usage. But why? Why is it "on purpose" but "by accident"?

I love how James Spader can act without speaking, how expressive his face is. For example at the end when Lizzie is once again telling him she's done with him. He gives her this look that says "you are so goddamn dumb. Seriously, you are so fucking dumb." And he lets her walk away because he knows that in a week or so she's going to forget how to tie her shoes and she'll be coming back to him for advice as if he actually is her daddy. Aram and Navabi are best friends now? I thought the situation was that he was pining for her, she didn't give a shit about him and never the twain shall meet. But now Aram's girlfriend is calling Navabi for dating advice? And Navabi actually gives it? Props to Ressler for maintaining his mook-dom. "She's never going to want to kiss him with that garlic breath!" Tom seems to have pulled up the floorboards to find a mysterious box underneath. And within that mystery box, his long-long testicles! Good to have you back, Tom and good to see you introduced the local Russian station chief to Bofa... Bofa Deez Nuts. They should have known Kirk was one step ahead of them. He calls his doctor to set something up at the last minute but does so every seven days... and then says meet me on the other side of the world. Dude wants frequent flier miles on his traps.

Stealing this! What fun this show is! Girl's night was a masterpiece of characterization. Four women but each one vastly different and each one playing a unique role in the group dynamic. They make a really fun team and I hope they're all in the same room at the same time again. The guys weren't quite as fun although Amenadiel cutting a rug reminded me of a similar scene with Angel and Wesley from Season 1 of Angel. I wish he'd just spit it out about the wings though. I guess he tried with Dr. Linda but he might want to ask the guy who cut his own wings off. Maze and Chloe living together? I'm predicting a scene in which Chloe has to get dressed in a hurry and there's nothing else around other than Maze's wardrobe. Lucifer was amusingly awkward when seeing his mother in Maze's style but it would be a different kind of awkward altogether if it was Chloe rocking the leather mini. This show has done a good job so far of disguising Vancouver as Los Angeles. However, that forest at the beginning? That ain't no forest outside of the Griffith Observatory! That's a British Columbia forest right there! (I live on Vancouver Island, about thirty miles away from where this is filmed)

Steve doesn't know how to escape from duct tape on his hands? I thought he was a Navy SEAL. Everyone should know this: http://www.reshareworthy.com/how-to-escape-duct-tape/

The theory was that with the tide being so low the nuke plant wouldn't be able to pull in enough water to prevent a meltdown. That kid has radiation damage, a rare blood disorder and an eco-terrorist dad? Should have named him Lucky. Samar is actually upset with Aram for daring to get himself a girlfriend? Like he was supposed to stay single in the hopes that someday she'd become interested in him? I'm glad he told her to GTFO. I loved Ressler admitting that he Googled Aram's girlfriend "to see if she's hot". Ah, Ressler, you big lunk. Keep being you. I wonder if the plot with Mr. Kaplan is something Red set up. Shoot her in the face but in a non-fatal way, have Creepy McRedneck pick her up and chain her to a bed... if she survives she can come back. If not, so be it. Going to have to fanwank that the eco-terrorist filled the helicopter with explosives hence the giant fireball at the end. I am pretty sure actual helicopters are built in such a way that they will not do that, ever.

They were hoping that the spy was surviving, evading, resisting and escaping. See here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Survival,_Evasion,_Resistance_and_Escape Perhaps to suggest he's the kind of President you pick up for cheap at Costco?

The scene was really dark so you might have missed it but confrontation #2 did go too far... Reade killed the coach (or so it seems). He was standing over the coach's body when Zapata finds them. That swirled image plot was silly. Ermagerd, how are we going to deal with this swirled image? And the solution turns out to be by unswirling it! Good thing nobody thought of that a bunch of years ago: http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/swirlface-christopher-neal-sentencing-1.3610153 But as to your question, they seemed to be saying that she helped Snowden... er, Winter expose the NSA's secrets. And then she swirled some of them up in case she ever got in trouble. Sandstorm seems to be set on rooting out government corruption and Mayfair helping a contractor blow the NSA wide open would definitely fall into that category. I'm speculating that she went into it with good intentions (take that nasty NSA down!) but ended up getting caught up in it when the FBI was given Orion. And I say given because it's something the NSA would have to offer (hey guys, want some juicy but highly illegal intel on where every bad guy in the States is right now? All you have to do is sanitize it!) rather than something the FBI could ask for because they didn't know it existed in the first place. So now all of a sudden there's a link between the FBI and the NSA and Mayfair panicked because she was right in the middle of the thing she had just exposed. Everything we've seen her do on the show was an attempt at ass-covering but the CIA (who are all in on this secrecy shit) weren't having it. That's my understanding but if anyone else has a take on this overly byzantine plot, feel free!

One thing I loved about the episode was that everyone got to take turns snarking at Weller. I could really enjoy this show if we get Weller as full-time butt monkey. A wilhelm scream? Did I hear a friggin' wilhelm scream? Impatient mob boss gets himself busted for nothing. So let me get this straight: potential Senator Irish O'Mobman knows his brother (who has six months to live) has dirt on him. So he stages a faux assassination attempt so that the FBI will pick his brother up and force him to open the safe. Then all he has to do is have his lackeys get into a long, running gun battle with the FBI because of course only three and a half cops will be there and they will only have pistols. Once the mob gets this crucial evidence back they can destroy it, insulating the career of Senator O'Mobman despite the trail of dead Federal agents left behind. Well, Hollywood does have that GTA-style justice in which destruction of evidence makes criminal charges evaporate. Reade is shaking down his former coach and a store owner says "I've already called the cops!" Now, same idea here as when the team was breaking into Mayfair's place. I am a cop, mind your own business. But on this day Reade wasn't just a cop... he was the law! Dun dun dun!

I think my favorite moment was when May woke from the dead and exclaimed "Get this crap off of me!" confirming she was back to normal followed by tearful Simmons giving her a huge hug and the confusion that followed. "Did I miss something?" I also really liked that haunting effect with the swirls of black closing in on everything. This show is hit and miss with the effect sometimes but I thought that one looked very cool. An electromagnetic pulse doesn't prevent electronics from working, it destroys them. Interesting that a teenage boy is immune to Daisy's charms. Special snowflakes don't last long in the hood!

I was hoping the same thing but apparently Luke Cage takes place just before S2 of Daredevil so Claire and Foggy haven't had that moment together in which he talks down a bad guy at the hospital. http://www.cbr.com/charlie-cox-reveals-where-luke-cage-falls-in-the-marvelnetflix-timeline/

I somehow missed this when it aired last week and only just caught up to it now... and my question is, what the fuck show did I just watch?!?! It was like James Bond drops in to interrupt Criminal Minds followed up with some UFC action and then into Leverage for a heist followed by some 24 action that segues into Zero Dark Thirty and ends with some British comedy about those silly royals. This show has set the plot generator to random before but I think this is the first time they threw in a bunch of scripts from other shows. And the Queen of England! Because why not? If we can CGI in a scary-creepy undead Jack Lord, why not the monarch of the Commonwealth? So much randomness in this episode. Even some of the casting. I suppose Farin Tahir must be glad he's not playing a terrorist even though he's still playing a bad guy. Anyone remember when he was captain of a starship? I'm going to fanwank that 5-0 has pre-arranged their jurisdictional mandate to include anywhere in the world they might chase a suspect. That's why they can go to Prague and lead a SWAT team there. Pakistan didn't bother me as much because the US has been crapping on Pakistani jurisdiction for 15 years now. But of course one does not just call up a Navy SEAL team with five seconds notice for what was basically Operation Neptune's Spear (the one that got Bin Laden). Those SEALs practiced for months on mock-ups built to scale. It's not the kind of thing a military team would go in for unprepared. The SIS by way of SAS guy would know that and wouldn't even consider assaulting a fortress by himself. The wardrobe department is playing around with Kono's outfits. She's still rocking those tight black almost-leather pants but now with a blouse over top. I guess Grace Park has had enough of tank tops. In any case, she looked great and always dolls up nicely when required to go undercover. The Microsoft commercial was subtle this episode. Be as badass as a British super-spy courtesy of the intuitive interface of the Microsoft PixelSense!