Mocking Bird

I used to be one of those very haters, but as you said, season 18 was a turning point. The show was better with him.

Hand to God, I read through the entire thread before it dawned on me that PBR meant Professional Bull Riding and not Pabst Blue Ribbon. At least the beer would better explain Bonner still being in the competition.

Yes! I noticed the same thing. There is something a bit off and somewhat manic about her this season. She seems to flail around, searching for the right things to say/ask. Last night she behaved particularly weird and this is coming from someone who likes her.

I've been a victim of severe second-hand embarrassment perpetrated by Charo for at least 50 years--give or take as she and I don't agree on her age--and she's been doing the exact same shtick the entire time. Rattles off her ridiculously long name (because that's just so side-splitting); screams "cuchi-cuchi" while undulating; spouts intelligible babble then tells the befuddled talk show host she "doesn't understand what the hell he's talking about" because she can't understand his accent. Lather-rinse-repeat. I don't give two flips that she's a flamenco guitar master because she's always mostly been an annoying-ass cartoon and in present day, near 70, she's just too fucking old for that shit. Still has a great figure minus the ridiculous boobs, I'll give her that.

I gave my 7-year-old grandson (and me) a beginner sewing machine for Christmas. He loves fashion, dressing up--Project Runway Jr. is a favorite--so he wants to learn to sew. I can't sew on a button, but I'd bet he and I could bang out Padma's hideous jumpsuit. Tom's boating outfit was a tad WTF as well.

That scene was revolting, particularly given that Toby had made graphic and repeated mention of how far a catheter was shoved up "his junk". Do the producers think they're breaking new ground by showing two fat people behaving all hot for one another? Portraying that attraction in the crassest way possible is doing it really wrong.

It's the salivary gland. There are some good photos and instructions on how to remove it here: http://livingthefrugallife.blogspot.com/2010/12/working-guanciale-recipe-and.html

Hearts x 1000 for this advice. If I weren't too old, fat and complete without skills I'd try out for the show and follow it. I disliked David from the start and never warmed up to him. I wanted Nicole to go the distance and she broke my heart. I want people on the show that want to win not contemplate their navels until they've found the inner peace and strength to tap out. Bleccch! Being one desperate motherfucker who wanted the $500,000 more than any other person out there (except Larry) is why David won. That and the fact that he had food. That guy was a barnacle. As long as he could get a scrap of fish he was never going to tap. Never. David had nothing but eyes on the prize, baby: $$$$$$$. I'm totally cool with that.

This is what bothers me about Ana's appearance. She just looks dirty; like she woke up, didn't shower or even wash her face and just caked on another layer over yesterday's makeup. I did this a time or two way back in my hard partying days where we'd stay out all night and go straight from the bar to work, but Ana looks like this every day. Jernard and his shtick nauseates me. Neither he, nor his food turns me on. The only way I'd be making whoopee after eating that deep fried mess is if it were laced with Rohypnal. From his interactions with other contestants, Damiano is too arrogant and impatient for my taste. I cannot stand Tregayne and her poppin' fleek nonsense, fluorescent lipstick, ugly, sloppy clothes and above all, snotty personality. Glad Erin is gone. All I could see was Duff Goldman in drag. Boy, I don't like any of these people, do I? Sad, because I used to enjoy this show--at least until the last couple of seasons--and it's the only FN show I watch, period.

Everyone flinging the word "snot" around was making me a bit queasy until I read this amazing haiku. Now I think it's quite lovely.

I really believe this season is one long "F*ck you!" from the producers to all the fools like me who wanted Kaitlynn as the Bachelorette. They really, really wanted Britt and now we're all being punished for it.

Truth in every word, Scorpiosunshine! Most of these guys are very unattractive--what a collection of rat faces. JJ, with his lartern-jawed potato head, bad teeth and beady eyes reminds me of a Pixar character: Surely if Britt had been the Bachelorette this wouldn't be the dismal crop she would have had to pick from. No way would those be the "dates" she'd have been subjected to either. I hated this episode. Everything about it was so fake and gross from the "bromance" to fishing around in the faux dirty toilet to the ultra cringe worthy sex ed "class". The awful parents of those creepy little meal tickets should be flogged.

Oh thank God, ScoobieDoobs! I was beginning to think I'd lost the last bit of female hormones that are hanging by a thread as Shep turns me off in a big way. Reading these gushing litanies of praise and the longings of my fellow commenters for Shep to come eat crackers in their beds any time! just baffle me. I have no trouble tolerating him as one of the personalities on this show, but I could not be more disinterested in him as a man as I view him as just the way you describe.

Me too, ProfCrash, I'm out. I couldn't even manage that. Hantz was so vile I just didn't watch period. These guys still can't touch him, but they make up for it in numbers, so I gots to go.

I have never liked Will or Shirin--that's just being redundant 'cause I detest the entire cast--and I'm sick of the new fad of tarring everyone with the "bully" epithet, but lazy, stupid, worthless Will is a bully. He purposely chose to go off on the supposedly weaker Shirin over the stronger, more vocal and volatile Mike and Jenn. Everyone involved in that incident were dicks, but Will proved to be a dick and a coward. I'm thrilled Shirin didn't let him get his letter and sit out the challenge (what a joke!) as that would just be win-win for slackin' sacko'shit Will. All these people are so horrible that the hate is pinging around my in head like a pinball. Ding! He's the worst. Ding! She's the worst. Ding! Ding! Ding!, but Dan will always be the worst to me. Dan is transforming into a goat right before my eyes. A fat, greasy, hairy, repulsive, stuff-of-satanic-nightmares goat. Next week I expect to see the horns beginning to sprout. I was actually excited and looking forward to this season. Fuck me.

Don't get-and/or Meh: Hannah (on the bubble), Magilla Gorilla Brian, Rob Terrible: India, Nervous Wreck Deanna Awesome: Kimberly Would Buy 'cuz I'm Old: Joshua Great, but Bleecch! at the Amish Look: Sawyer Very Good but Don't Care: Mia Who?: Koryn Sang "Why?". How Appropriate: Corey Intense Dislike Due to Styling Choices: Meghan

My attitude toward Mark has completely changed as well. I used to delight in hating on his stupid hair, spats and all the "look at meeeee!" skittering around his partner like a flea on a hot brick. I've come to admire his genuinely considered partnership with the teens and his ability to craft appropriate, entertaining dances that showcase these young ladies. His intense need (desperation would be to harsh) to shine is always present, but he no longer makes me seethe with loathing. I shall now go pull the wings off a few flies to cleanse myself.

I figured if Chay wanted to carry a purse and present more as a woman, that was his business and good for him for having the courage to do so. What I couldn't get past was the miles and miles of the ugliest paneling I've ever seen in my life, in every single place they went.

kimbrchick, Will was told to vote for Hali by Mike as a (snort) loyalty test.

Re: Joe Mixed with Sigourney Weaver in Ghost Busters.

"Wook hod, potty hodder" Rodney getting the boot in the next week or two is fine by me. He's not bright, hasn't stood out in challenges and (I think) said he wasn't good at puzzles, so I don't believe he's much of an immunity threat. Joaquin seemed to at least have some athletic and manipulative ability and while he would never win, he might cause the ouster of someone I like, although people I like are rather few. Loved the scene of the two of them swinging their arms and flapping their hands like the chimps they are. I like Joe well enough, but, is he stealthy or just lucky? His early gameplay has been so lackadaisical. Why isn't anyone hungry or complaining about food?? I'm one of those sick, sadistic fans that enjoys the deprivation aspect of the show. Probably because I'm fat. It's been 16 (?) days and no one seems to have lost any noticeable weight--Hello, Will and Dan (and Shirin's hips). Those bags of beans must've been bigger than I thought. I just can't warm up to Shirin like others have. I can't get over her walking around bottomless (seriously, why didn't she take off her top and go all out like the other doofus?) in the beginning. It just struck me as so weird and crude. And why did she stop? Pointless.

It's because the judges all have the intelligence and emotional maturity of twelve-year-olds and believe comments that barely garnered a snicker in the bathroom at middle school pass for ground breaking comedy material. I love Dimitry, but if, while in Mood next challenge, he chooses any combination of blue and black fabric he should be eliminated on the spot. Ugh at Helen. I always picture her lurking in the dank alley next to a methadone clinic, but now she's wearing a diamond ring and necklace while sipping wormwood tea from a hideously frou-frou china cup.

Which also sums up this entire season. I hated everything "designed" this episode and what I didn't actively despise bored me to death. Fabio's win was flabbergasting. I was convinced there was no way he wouldn't get the boot for that mess. While I don't doubt the alleged "hotness" of Fabio's model must have influenced the win as suggested by posters here; those comments have led me to question my sexuality, or at least, eyesight. I didn't find their pair of daters's level of attractiveness so overwhelming that it would negate that "dental hygienist in too tight/short mismatched scrubs" shit show Fabio produced. I hate this season and am only watching out of love of Dimitry--perhaps there is still half a teaspoon of functioning hormones left--but even he is wearing thin.

I have to agree with that. I was so impressed with her--so sweet and I enjoyed her partnership with Mark, who normally aggravates me to no end. On a shallow note, I did not enjoy watching her talk, as all I thought about was "why, oh why didn't her parents have that pronounced under bite fixed?".

My sincere thank you to everyone for providing these wonderfully descriptive re-caps 'cuz I ain't watching this shit anymore.