Your Grace

I just flipped on The Holiday Sitter starring Jonathan Bennett. Not sure of the storyline but Mr. Bennett sure is ACTING. He is Emoting, he is Giving Face, he is using his whole body. Geez. I usually like him well enough in these movies; meaning I don't make a point to watch a show because he's in it, but I don't avoid them either (unlike some of other mainstays Hallmark has had in the past). I don't know what he was going for but it's really taking me out of the program. It feels very community theater, regional community theater. Which sucks because I know he could do better.

I don't believe for one second that these couples have not discussed their decisions before they get to the altar. If any of them were truly surprised, there would have been more of a reaction from the other person and their families. Look at Shane, he could barely mumble out his yes at the altar. He knew Natalie was going to say no but they both had to go through the motions. That's why I don't have a problem with Shake and his reaction to Deeps' no. He knew she was going to say no, they probably have had conversations about physical attraction previous to the wedding and she knew where she stood, and he knew where he stood. I think it will be I think it will be deeply disrespectful to all involved if anybody was actually blindsided by the decision at the wedding. There is no way they spent all that time talking, talking, talking, but their significant other doesn't know if the other person will say yes. As for Mal and Sal, they both were going to say no, but the show has a story line to wrap up and they probably thought it would be more dramatic to have Sal be the one to say no.

So I have Sharing Christmas playing in the background while I do other things. Not quite sure of everything that's happening in this plot but our couple has a conversation about the heroine modernizing or not modernizing her business. Evidently, she doesn't even have a website because blah blah blah tradition, the true meaning of Christmas and as she later states, the shop is special. (Why would this be a thing to be proud of?) It just made me think about all the little businesses in the Hallmark-verse that probably closed during the pandemic because why have a website or cater to your customers. On the other hand, Little Barnesworth, USA where most of these stories take place, probably didn't shut down at all because ...freedom.

Well, the thing you focus on is never the thing you're really mad about. IMO, it's probably easy for Traci to articulate how that situation hurt her, but less easy for her to articulate how that record deal is indicative of how they always treat her. I think in Traci's mind, she is not important to her sisters and is easily dismissed. I think Traci and Kevin have implied that she really doesn't have a road dog in the family. Trina and Towanda have each other, Tamar and Toni have each other, and I think in Napa Kevin said to Towanda, you have Michael. That leaves Traci as the odd woman out. It has always appeared to me that the sisters dismiss Traci a lot. With some of them it's benign neglect, and with others (Tamar) it's down right rude and hostile. I remember in one of the earlier seasons when they were having their group counseling session, Toni took it upon herself to tell Traci that she needed to lose weight. What did Traci's weight have to do with the sister's issues? And she just expected Traci to absorb that because it was "the truth." I have never got the feeling from this group that they ever really consider Traci or her feelings. And I think they all have allowed Tamar to rude and verbally aggressive with Traci because that's just how Tamar is. I think for a long time she has let the situation persist because 1.) she's not the most articulate of the sisters and they regularly talk rings around her which leaves her frustrated. and 2.) the whole "we're sisters" bullshit. Lowkey, I blame Evelyn. 1. Evelyn is a whole mess and she raised those girls and encouraged their fucked-up dynamic. A dynamic where there's no real care, accountability, or sincere amends for bad behavior or other transgressions. 2. My theory: Evelyn made her children choose between her and Braxton after the divorce. I doubt it was anything explicit, but given her behavior a decade after the divorce (when the show began), I don't doubt that she made it difficult for them to be open about still loving and maintaining their relationship with father I think for most of them it was easy to choose. Evelyn was the wronged one and Braxton married his mistress before the papers were dry. For their mother's sake, they were not going to have anything to do with Ms. Wanda and Braxton was not going to let his children disrespect his wife. which kept them at odds The siblings may have had their own reasons for not dealing with their father and his wife but Evelyn was not going to encourage reconciliation. I think secretly she was pleased that they rallied behind and chose her. Except for Traci. By dent of proximity, Traci maintained her relationship with her father and is probably on cordial terms with Ms. Wanda. I think that makes Traci the odd one out, even with Evelyn. I think this has also probably played a role in how the sisters view and treat Traci. I have far too many thought on this, but, what can I say, interpersonal relationships are interesting.

I believe nothing of this Melissa story and I don't think Dr. Phil or his team does either otherwise they would have reacted in a completely different manner. Do I think she's troubled, yes, but I think the person most in danger is Dr. Phil. He's lucky she couldn't travel to the set. On the other hand, I don't think they would have done the show if she could travel.

Please don’t lump together, or try to speak for anyone but yourself. There is a lot of excellent, peer reviewed scholarship that talks about black depiction and representation in the media. There is scholarship that talks about the impact of that representation on actual black people both within our communities and how we we our viewed outside of our communities. That may not be how you feel, but it is also not an idea that lacks evidence. The original poster asked why Michael may be concerned about trashing a black man on TV when white people do it all the time. This idea, the evidence of this idea, and his own lived experience of this may be why.

Right, content of character doesn't matter, it's all about skin color. I think some famous guy once quoted something like that. More simply put, in the American consciousness white people can be individuals and black people are representatives of their race. While people may make jokes, nobody seriously looks at Joe Exotic and thinks that his behavior is emblematic of how white people act. Joe Exotic's behavior is only about Joe Exotic. In general, that is not true about black people or other minorities in this country no matter how much we want it to be. We all know bigots are going to bigot and racists are going to racist and there is no amount of good behavior that will change that. But this country and, to bring it back to the show, the media has not been kind in how it depicts black people, historically (and I would argue presently.) Michael, like a lot of black people, seems to be conscious of this history and more mindful of how he speaks about other black people (including Meka and Taylor) because he likely does not want to give fodder to those that do believe that the color of our skin is more important than our character. Michael may have felt compelled to speak on Brandon's behalf not just because of their friendship, but to add nuance to the conversation and allow that there is more complexity to the situation and the players involved. Regarding Katie: I am definitely not thinking deeply about why Katie seems to be using male attention for validation. But the show did not bring another turtle on the show and ask that turtle to speak on her behalf; and too my knowledge, turtles have a history of being depicted as slow, not fast.

Losing your virginity at eight years old is called child molestation. I don't think Jay experienced some childhood playing doctor scenario that he's playing up, I actually have little doubt that something overtly sexual happened to him with an older teen or woman. (Example - Chris Brown) Like Chris Brown the world the Jay lives in downplays the actual trauma of that type of abuse on a little boy and instead tells him that this is the type of thing that men do. I would not say that this is common in Af-Am or other black communities (and of course it's not acceptable) but I would also not say it's unheard of. (Because abuse happens everywhere.) I would not be surprised if some older male relative had someone abuse him because toxic masculinity and the idea that this is how you make men out of little boys. True story* - One of my guy friends - Ace - told me that the father of another friend -Bob- had shown their group of friends porn when they were kids. Ace, Bob and the rest were probably ten or eleven but Bob had a little brother that was about eight and Bob's little brother would freak out and cry because he couldn't process what was happening. 10/11 is obviously too young for porn but Ace seemed to laugh it off as if it didn't affect him much. Bob's dad also told them not to drink from straws because that was gay. * names changed to protect the innocent.

Those non-voters continue to make me stabby.

Jaclyn is a bit obnoxious. She's seems like the type that is going to live off of being the victim in this marriage for a long time. I think she knew what she was getting into and thought she could hold out until he grew up. She probably thought his stint in the military would instill some discipline. She's deathly afraid of everything she might hear or learn whenever someone says "Do you want to know what Dustin's been up to?" She knows what he's been doing she just doesn't want anyone else to know because then she has to make a real choice about her marriage. If nobody else knows/tells her that her husband is a lying, obnoxious child-man that is about as found of her as he is of the stray cat hanging around the trailer park then she can continue pretending. If everyone knows then she might have to leave so she can continue to pretend that she's a strong, independent spirit. I say might, because she still might be able to change him. [/wishfulthinking] That said, she still doesn't deserve to be dragged like this.

Basically, Tamar is the family scapegoat. http://www.joy2meu.com/DysfunctionalFamilies.htm I am not saying that Tamar does not contribute to the bad family dynamics, she definitely does; but by pretending that all of their negativity is Tamar's fault, that every bad interaction is cause by Tamar's behavior, it allows the other sisters to ignore their own role in the family. (I also suspect that Traci has played the role of scapegoat in the past). Towanda doesn't have to examine why she brought someone to a family event when she was well aware this person made her sister uncomfortable/unhappy because everyone is focusing on Tamar's reaction. Traci and Trina don't have to ask themselves why they react to Tamar the way they do, when it's much easier to berate her or blank her for her transgressions. Toni does not have to ask herself if part of her new-found impatience with Tamar stems from Tamar's success and her being less deferential to "The Braxton." I really hope TD Jakes dropped some home truths on these women and that it made a seed of something to grow in them. I was actually surprised Evelyn took some responsibility for the dynamics between the sisters (and that Toni mentioned the show's possible role). I was struck during the first few seasons by how bitter Evelyn still was about they way her marriage ended and I felt that maybe unknowingly, by still being so angry, she was forcing her children to chose between her and their father.

There's nothing wrong with trying to get your degree at 30, but as the original poster said, it makes Vaughn incompatible with Monet. Could you have a couple of kids while you're working on your degree? Sure, but I don't think it's the best idea and Monet probably didn't think so either. He's basically restarting his career at 30 and he has plenty of time to do this and have children, Monet does not have the time, biologically, to wait for him. They are not in the same place in life. He is trying to (re)establish himself, she's already where she wants to be. He should probably wait until his career has kick-started to start a family, she's pretty much ready now. Their goals and expectations are misaligned in some fundamental ways that the"experts" should have recognized before they paired the two.

Here's an interesting article where Cilona points out the breakdown in Monet and Vaughn relationship. http://www.ibtimes.com/married-first-sight-expert-dr-joseph-cilona-vaughn-monets-divorce-does-he-blame-himself-1689919 While Monet and Vaughn are both 100% responsible for their role in the breakdown of their "marriage" I think I get where Monet is coming from more - or rather I get where both are coming from but I sympathize with Monet more. Which is ironic since I'm more of a Vaughn in the sense that I'm personally pretty introverted and I don't think I could be with an extrovert like Monet. I too call bullshit on asking Monet if she married for love or money. First, it's irrelevant in a set up like this. Secondly, I damn sure will not be with a man who is not bringing something to the table financially. Meaning, I can take care of me, I can take care of my (future) children, but I'm not financially taking care of an able-bodied man who can't ante up, at minimum, what I'm bringing. I personally don't ask for something from a man that I'm not able to offer, but what I'm doing for me is the minimum that I expect a man to do when he's in relationship with me. There's room for movement on numbers and/or level of education, but I don't think it's a lot to ask. Monet is stable professionally (maybe even ambitious) and has clearly defined goals I don't think she wants a dude who is maybe wishy-washy about what his goals are and what he needs to do to achieve them. I don't hate that she didn't want to show her ass on TV. In the immortal words of Heather B "They can't use what you don't give them." How often to we criticize other black women for playing into cliches and stereotypes? How often do we criticize them for not letting their guard down and being more "real" for our entertainment? I understand how her manner could seem phoney to Vaughn, but unless Monet was doing some real extra shit behind the scenes, I felt I got to know a lot about who she is as a person. And finally, Vaughn just seemed like a big baby that wasn't ready for marriage. I think he had unrealistic ideas about how a marriage between strangers would work and he checked out on their honeymoon when he didn't get the coddling or responses that he wanted. I don't really think that Vaughn wanted to do the work to grow the relationship. He wanted Monet to do all the work. With the exception of moving to Harlam (which he didn't even really do apparently), Vaughn expected Monet to do the majority of the compromising to make the relationship work and he kept a tally when she failed in any way.

I'm debating about whether to watch this or not. I discovered her books about a decade ago and read the first five practically back to back (this was before number 6 came out). I can't help myself if I like an author I'll inhale their backlist like Lay's potato chips. But after reading all five I realized a couple of things - one, never read +/-6,000 pages from one writer that quickly ever again and two, I kind of hated Claire. While I was reading books 4 and 5 I managed to get my sister to read the first two books and we both agreed, Claire sucks. So when I heard about this project I got excited because I'm remembering how enthralled I was with the epic-ness of the books (Gabaldon) writes good stories, on the other hand, I really dislike one of the main characters (and her offspring). I'm thinking I'll have to wait on viewer reports before I commit myself to this show.