canucktvwatcher

Re: Monday.... Goddamnit. The Avery/Austin Fuckery continues....except this time, Dullard, who shows NO FUCKING EXPRESSION as always, gets the lead from Kevin where Cray Cray Austin and Ovary are thanks to Kev's Amazeen Computer skills, and sneaks in to rescue his Lady Love. He tackles Pusnuts Austin, and they wrassle over the gun, which OF COURSE goes off while the GC 5-0 burst through the door, late as always. Except instead of doing us all a favour and hitting Strippergram "You're under arrest, Sugar" Boretney, it fucking hits PAUL. Paul hits the floor like he just ate Crocket's cooking. Sigh. Now, I can tell you EXACTLY what will go on. Crocket will be pregnant, wring her hands, sob, and we will be forced to sit through scenes of LLB "acting". The fact that she is indeed pregnant will be used to bring Paulie through. Seeing as his liver is damaged (seriously, as Stench lets us know, while wearing an unsullied OR smock, no less), and he'll no doubt need a donor, and because of his guilt at not listening to Paul and the rest of the GCPD who told him, "DON'T DO IT! LET US HANDLE IT!" and then blamed his stupid ass for this debacle (which is accurate), JFP's Favourite Wooden Pet, SB, the Inimitable Dullard, will offer up some liver in reparation. Or maybe they'll recruit an Abbott as a donor. They seem to keep them around for spare parts every time someone needs a transplant! I swear to God - all the newbies that rush in through the door, and they pick Paul to take the bullet to prop Ovary? FFS, show! And the fact that Austin overpowered Dullard so easily? Running a coffeehouse has made him soft, apparently! Of course Dummer is getting pulled into this, too. Do I smell another kidnapping by Austin? Show, I love you, but it's getting harder to buy the line of shit you're selling!

Meri wants to go back to school. And get another wet bar. I'm joking about the wet bar, but she actually does want to go back to school. My question is: where are they going to get the money for this?

Thanks! And you also point out the viewing experience of YR lately very nicely here; 20 minutes in, you're looking at your watch. As much as I enjoy the show, I sometimes look forward to commercials to break this shit up a bit. Ray Wise also has his work cut out for him - he has to act as though the boring, wooden SB is his son. As if someone as ho-hum and tiresome as Dylan could pass himself off as Ian's offspring! The delicious irony that Ray Wise, who was on TWIN PEAKS is playing a role where SB is his son is not lost on me....or anyone else that's a fan of tv! David Lynch, if he ever watched the show, would probably laugh his ass off! YR has become like a fast food meal; it seems like a good idea at the time, but about a half an hour later, you regret it, as the contents start to settle.

Nope. Just the stuff that was discussed above. That, and trusting we can move on to another topic.

See, I figured this was coming, but thought I'd take the high road with Sharin'. Meh, it's true, though! I shoulda thought of that, yes. Owning Jabot is like a Nikki/Victor marriage, or a Billy Abbott promise - temporary! Jabot is a better example. :) Ghost Dad John must be rolling over in his grave at how many times his life's work has been bought and sold. Realization I've had: Real Estate is a hot commodity in GC, and pretty much any locale you want will come up for sale at some point. Which reminds me: doesn't Billy have a restaurant he still owns to tend to? Has anyone gotten paid at that place in months? For a guy who owns a restaurant, he sure has a lot of time to be a creeper at people's windows, mope and whine about his ex-wife, and sniff around his nemesis' wife's place quite a bit.

Let's be honest here - Nick's got the business sense of an Enroc exec and the attention span of a gnat. On a good day. And the Crimson Shithaus is like a revolving door with its owners. It gets passed around more than a part-time job at Newman Enterprises. Slightly off topic, but does anyone else notice that the jukebox in Crimson Lights has literally not changed discs in years? There's always that yellow cd art showing. Note to Dylan: take out the jukebox, put in another table. Sell it to get money for repairs on the espresso machine!

Well, it was droll in the way that it was complete shit, but at the same time amusing in its badness. I should have explained that further! SB's expression for "Avery's in trouble" is pretty much the same as , "Oh shit, the Espresso machine is broken again". It reminds me of that Darth Vader picture that's floating around that says, "The Expressions of Vader", and it's his mask in every shot. SB is like that, only with less personality.....and it's so funny to watch! It's like those around him have to emote, to get any traction from the scene AT ALL. I think it was Noah's OTT sqeauling about Pariah working at The Underground, though, that pushed it from "meh" to "I'm really amused at the shittiness of this mess". The whole Austin bit was an eye roller as well. It was just SO BAD. I'm not even gonna pretend that I'm not amused, entertained, or surprised by this stuff, though. I love YR, but it seems to plumb new depths each week lately with its ineptness. That being said, it's something you can't take your eyes off of! Ah, YR.

Wow. Today's Canadian was a steaming pile of shite. Between Ovary's abduction by Ricky 2.0 Austin, Pariah's new job at The Underground which caused a subsequent hissy fit by Noah (who's getting to be more like Dear Old Dad, Knuckledragger Knick every day), and Steve Burton's as Dullard's "Smell The Fart" acting while his Spidey Sense was tingling, it was a rather droll episode. Pearlite, when you referenced Drake Hogestyn earlier upthread, you were right on the money! Dude is the new DH! It absolutely made me think of "Smell The Fart" acting! I'm sure he'll break the door down, rescue Country Kitchen Ovary, and do it with the same wooden expression that he rocks 90% of the time.

Aw, shucks. Thanks! :)

Yeah, every time she rocks that leopard skin print, it's an event! Meh, I don't mind it. MTS looks pretty good for her age, she's got curves, and she's all out of fucks to give about what people think regarding her wardrobe choices. I mean, leopard skin prints wouldn't be everyone's choice, but if she's down with that, more power to her! :)

I'm reading this thread late, but I have to agree wholeheartedly with this. It's been Cassie overload on this show for years ever since they exited the character, and now we're having more Cassie, in the form of Pariah, forced down our gullet. Why has every writing team heralded Cassie multiple times a year? Gad. It's worse than Tracey showing up and invoking the Sacred and Holy Name of St. Colleen du Lac. Someone else had mentioned in another thread that anyone who has lost offspring gets a free pass, and I agree, but the writers need to stop flogging these things as a plot point. Not only is it tasteless, it's tiresome.

Bwahahaha!!! Ah, Phallus' Dumpster Delight! Does that make her Deacon's Dumpster Diva? Geez, all these characters are gone....back then, not very long ago, it was an embarrassment of comedy riches! Ronan = Sir Rosis of Pillsbury?

Maybe it just goes to show what an asshole Miss Devon is to work for. As in, the guy broke toes, and not one of his employees gave a shit enough to check whether he was ok. And really, his "pumping iron" like a madman not only looked stupid, but it was dangerous. No wonder the silly douche dropped the weight on his foot. Anyways, piss on Devon. Between his self-righteous arrogance and mopey hand wringing because Hilary didn't pick him and is instead getting to know Kneel in the biblical way, often, he's just incorrigible. Also, fuck Lily. What a phony bitch she is. She's all Team Kelly and can forgive her and overlook what she did, even to the point of giving her Lady Date Pointers and helping her pick lingerie, but she can't even begin to forgive Hilary? Pfffft. Hypocrite! Honestly, the whole Winters family is ff worthy right now. It's almost like they're becoming so aware of each others' shortcomings and phoniness that they can't stand to be around one another.

The writers ARE idiots, though, that's the problem. When viewers are being expected to buy into ridiculous writing, it just adds to the shit sammich that's being served up. As soon as Jill set The Heart of The Ocean down on the table, I knew one of two things was going to happen: 1) We'd be treated to Celine Dion crooning "My Heart Will Go On" in the background, while we had a flashback scene of Jack and Rose, er, Colin and Jill, at the front of the Titanic, with Colin hoisting Jill up, or 2) The necklace would be stolen. Thankfully, we were spared the indignity of watching Colin and Jill reenact a scene from TITANIC, as well as listening to Celine Dion. Spoiler Alert: Maddie took the necklace.

Yeah, Red Claws Memorial Park is growing on me, too. The set is getting lots of use, which is good. Even the hokey "city" transition shots are getting better, and add some believability (well, as much as you can have in a soap) to the proceedings. Maybe, just maybe, if the show doesn't get cancelled, they'll invest in more sets. Sets that they can give us a break with? The GC Anything-But-Athletic Club, The New Newman Ranch That Smells Like Old People (The Newman Raunch), and Griftea's Lair.

Thank God.

Yeah, Ramen Noodles was a wasted character. JB was working it, too, until they threw him to the Sarlac Pit of Phyllis. They could have had the Dynamic Duo of Ramen Noodles and Last Chance and taken that a ton of places storyline wise, but noooooo. I even was happy to see MomJeans Nina for awhile. Even with Phyllis aside, the writers completely screwed this up. At this point, the return of the three of them would be a vast improvement over the dreck that's being served up. And for what it's worth, Chance and Chloe, while not entirely believable at all times, were a decent coupling. That too, did pass, though, to the surprise of no one. Once again, the writing team could not find their ass with both hands.

I just spit out my soda, P&E! Damn! Bwahaha! Ah yes, nepotism at its finest! I'm not saying MCE's a bad actress, but I'm also not saying she's gonna be a daytime star, either. As long as soaps are on, she may as well ride that Gravy Train right until the end. Sorry, forgot to ask....does this mean they're both travelling with a Wad of Bill('s)? Sorry, couldn't help a pun here!

UO....I like the character of Colin. He's about twenty times the man Purseholder Cane is, and he's got some balls AND smarts. Too bad his empty headed offspring didn't get a bit of that. Also, he has good chemistry with Jill. TR and JW actually look like they're having fun, even though they're being handed shit sammiches on a regular basis. I swear, they could have set up Bobby Scorps as a credible underworld threat to Turd, but they just fucked it up.

Watching today's Canadian ep, and we see what is presumably NuAdam discretely (and creepily) lurks in on the secret cam on Chelsea and Billy. This shit is high comedy; we see NuAdam's arm/hand, and the back of the chair he's sitting in. What the fuck is this guy, Dr. Claw from INSPECTOR GADGET? Hilarious! I was half expecting him to have a cat on the desk beside him, which scurries away when he brings his fist down on the table, just like Dr. Claw! It's about the speed of these writers! Haha! You have no idea how awesome it is that you've dropped Bunuel's name, mentioned avant-garde surrealism, and you're tying it into YR! Maybe they'll have a dinner party with all the major characters, and no one can leave, and shenanigans ensue? :)

I also noticed some other things: 1) Is it impossible for anyone in GC to keep their nose, especially Chelsea (or in Chelsea's case, her Gigantic Granite Jaw), out of other people's business? Damn, Chelsea's all up in everyone's shit, like with the whole Stitchtoria debacle, and then now with Chloe, too? Granted, she's trying to help Chloe, but on the other side of things, she's now the moral compass of the show with Victoria's Secret (hehe, that was unintentional!)? It's still a mystery to me how a newbie like Chelsea is front and centre as one of the leading ladies of the show. 2) The buildup for Chloe's exit. Poor EH, having to act out this shit. This Jana Retread is getting worse by the episode. Please, let's be done with this, and forget that this whole thing happened, shall we? 3) Crocket and Paulie. I don't care for Albino Eyebrows Christine at the best of times, and her run this time around is not convincing me otherwise. Why in the hell are they giving a character with little to no relevance, that most viewers don't care about, a pregnancy storyline? The character of Christine is along for the nostalgia ride, nothing more, and is a tip of the hat to the past. I see no reason to drag viewers through this sham of an sl. Let Paulie have his Birthday cake, a blowy, and some Office Delight and be done with this.

Caught up on eps this week. Two things concerning the Winters family: 1) Can Princess Lil be any more fucking immature? Jesus H. Christ, Batman, the way she's wailing, tossing water on Hilary, and just carrying on in general, she's even more of an incredibitch! For someone who was once supposed to be such a "good person", she has absolutely zero forgiveness in her heart. After being Saint Lily, she's done a complete 180. Not only is she bitchy, arrogant, and annoying, she's like the daughter that's throwing a tantrum because Daddy isn't giving her her own way. I'm no fan of the ubergross Kneel/Hilary hookup, but Good Lord, Lily's going on like the sky is falling, FFS! She need to take her creeper hubby, Junior Dingo, go on a lonnnnnnnnng holiday, and get the fuck off my screen. She is beyond insufferable right now. And her deluded plan to get Miss Devon to seduce Hilary? Please! Miss Devon couldn't seduce his way out of a wet paper bag. Dude's got less game than Steve Urkel! The only ladies that would date this clutz are the ones after his money, ie. Guysmerelda. 2) Is Miss Devon the World's Most Boring Billionaire/Millionaire? Evidently, he is! What a complete goddamn waste of airtime his character is. So, lemme get this straight. Red Claws Chancellor leaves you something like a billion fucking dollars, and the only thing you can do is buy a shitty Athletic Club, skulk around pining after Hilary, then get all bent out of shape because she's doing the Mattress Mambo with Kneel? First of all, GROSS. This is Auntie Fucker Redux, and Devon is such a self righteous asshat, it's pathetic. You'd think the whiny little douche would have better things to do than cry over spilled poon. But nooooooo.....instead of jet setting, he's crying like the whiner he is. Frankly, he deserved Gusymerelda, and he deserved to have her take his sorry ass to court after the inevitable Cashin/Divorce. Screw this moron!

True, but I think these writers don't know how to write them, either!

This. I like the character of Paul, but he couldn't find his ass with both hands, make a smart decision to save his life, or get lucky in a whorehouse with a handful of fifties. Dude is perennially screwing up, and why anyone would trust him with the policing of the city is a mystery right up there with what happened to Jimmy Hoffa. Also agree about Jock Itch and Princess Lil. I wouldn't leave these two alone with sharp objects, let alone to make important choices. Ditch is too busy sneaking furtive glances at Mop's medical records when he has no right to, as well as eating junk food, and Lil is too busy giving Hilary the stink eye, making bitchy comments, and becoming creepily preoccupied with Kelly's Bedroom Antics (or lack thereof) with Auntie Jackie.

Looks like my UO is that I don't care for MCE! I honestly don't see what all the fuss is about. The woman is a mediocre actress at best, her character has been propped to high heaven, and she is injected into more SL's than she needs to be. They've accelerated the character from a grifter to one of GC's rich and powerful. While possible, it's certainly not plausible. Mind you, we ARE talking about a soap here, but c'mon. The slow burn/slow buildup of characters is a lost art on soaps these days, especially YR, where it seems like a) the more newbies the better, and b) the writers feel the need to accelerate characters without them paying their dues, storyline-wise. I get that audiences are now more impatient for the payoffs, but the writers, if they're worth a Good Goddamn, will/should be able to find the balance with characters, and develop them with an end goal for the character in mind. My other UO is that I'm annoyed, as I've mentioned, with all the newbies introduced on the show. I understand there's a need to keep things fresh, but YR has been such a revolving door as of late, that they've failed at that, too. I have no fucks left to give about the newbies, which are variations on themes of characters already present. Like someone upthread, or elsewhere in YR discussion mentioned (apologies, I forget who said this, but I agree), ENOUGH WITH THE GRIFTERS! Also, enough with the "Grifter Gone Good" trope. Enough, enough, enough! And shame on JFP for continuing the dogpile of newbies with nothing to do, who are less interesting than reading a 1,000 page instruction manual. Cut the shit, JFP! We don't need newbies who no one gives a fat rat's rectum about standing in the background waving while they recite boring dialogue while simultaneously leaking any personality they have out onscreen. I mean, I could see it if any of the newbies actually had something worthwhile to do, but they don't. And most viewers, like me, don't care! Get a clue, fools on the writing staff!