AgathaC

@supposebly, that may be the only way to save the situation. (I keep hoping he’ll grow out of things, but I also realize a lot of his behavior isn’t new and can’t be blamed on a phase). For now, I don’t think it will happen. Ex and her parents are definitely not at a place where they will voluntarily admit there could be serious problems. And as she and her father are both well-connected, well-to-do attorneys, yeah, they could and would fight any legal action. The only way I see her agreeing is if he becomes too much for her to handle. In which case I won’t want to be in a house with him. Her parents are part of the problem (they’re worse than she is) and they think everything he does is perfect and wonderful and hilarious. She’s also somewhat cowed by them and it would take a LOT for her to tell them she’s giving up custody. I don’t think it will get that bad. But who knows.

Amen! I didn’t watch the show until years later and started to get annoyed right away with how Rory acted and was treated. Seriously? The whole town has to treat her like rainbows fly out of her ass? I guess I was supposed to see how charming and nice it was that the two of them had so much support, but I thought both were spoiled brats and that Rory was being set up for a fall. She wanted to be an international investigative journalist? As someone who spent years in journalism, I sort of shook my head at that. It did give me some sort of relief when, no, Rory didn’t end up as the new queen of CNN or some sort of prodigy. No, just a very intelligent (but coddled) girl who ran into reality and had to adjust.

I agree. I feel like I’m watching a slo-mo train wreck. Mr A has started escalating consequences for things and pushing back harder against Ex, but I fear it’s all too late. I seriously doubt therapy will happen, but I can keep suggesting it. I doubt Ex will ever really change and start parenting. Permissiveness and spoiling him and avoiding upsetting him or being hard on him have been her go-tos for 14 years.

I do have a therapist, yes. I don’t spend much time on it, thank goodness, but do occasionally need to vent! There probably is some resentment— mainly for the added grief and stress on Mr A. Dislike is probably too strong a word. I care what happens to him and think he still has a lot of potential. So, yes, it’s difficult to be in a position where I have almost no control, but the outcomes could impact my life. But, like you say, that’s what therapy is for!

So, the latest drama with Stepson14: We discovered that while we thought he’d gotten better about taking and hiding candy, no, he just got better at hiding it. Lots and lots of wrappers — also an empty tub of ice cream. (He’d had some after dinner a couple of times and we just assumed he’d finished it then.) He ate it upstairs, then put the mostly empty tub in the attic (access is in his room) where remnants oozed out onto a box — thankfully damaging nothing. Mr A was livid and there was a lot of cleaning, phone confiscated, etc. Then, SS flunked math third quarter and had poor grades in some other classes. He denied that he didn’t understand. He just didn’t want to do the work. His grade has a mandatory study hall to work on homework and projects and he has his math teacher for it, so it’s not like there’s much excuse. Mr A, upon realizing the state of things, reached out to multiple teachers to see if there were missing assignments. Yes. In all his classes. So, Mr A made him sit at the kitchen table to go through each item on the list. It helped a little — but he still turned some in blank without us realizing it (the app is not helpful). This all prompted a call to Mr A’s Ex, where he learned: 1) She goes to bed at 8:00. No clue what he does or what time he goes to bed after that. 2) She told Mr A she was confiscating his electronics due to grades. Nope. She just set the WiFi to shut off at a certain time and let him keep his phone. Which has a WiFi hotspot. So, he can game or chat all night if he wants. She didn’t think about that. 3) He’s missed a few more days of school and Mr A had no idea. Why did he stay home? His arm hurt. This is a kid with a long history of faking or exaggerating ailments to get out of things. Mr A: So, his arm was hurting badly enough to keep him home three different times? One, I doubt it was that bad. Two, if it was that bad, did you take him to the doctor? Did you try anti-inflammatories, heating pad, or ice? Of course she didn’t. She also continued to take him with her to the gym and let him go bowling a couple of times a week. Because for a kid looking summer school in the face, what he needs is to miss more school. SMH It’s all ridiculous at this point. He continues to act like he hates our guts because Mr A refuses to let him get away with stuff and stays on top of grades. He tries talking to him and encouraging communication, wanting to help if there’s a problem. But it really just appears the problem is he’s spoiled, entitled and lazy. Even when he’s caught in something, he just shrugs and then gets angry when there are consequences. He’s a perpetual innocent victim. And then I end up feeling like a horrible person for legitimately disliking a kid…

Congratulations on your vision and successful surgery! My father and grandfather are/were ophthalmologists who did cataract surgery for years. It feels scary having people do things to your eye, but it really is super easy. When it came time for my grandfather to have his done, they actually had to give him something to increase his heart rate before they could put him under. He was too calm and relaxed!

She also doesn’t need to inflict Daxy on another child. Sometimes adding a sibling helps turn a spoiled rotten child around. Sometimes… not. I had a friend whose big brother was a spoiled holy terror. A few years later, younger brother and sister came along. Let’s just say the oldest kid was not pleased and let it be known. Frequently. For years. As adults, the younger two have nothing to do with him and feel lucky to have survived childhood.

She’s an actress terrified of aging. Anything that makes her feel/appear young and desirable, she’s going to grab on with both hands.

Man, I really felt Kate’s discomfort. I have never, ever been a party type, but there were a couple of times in college where I ended up going out with a group where things got a lot wilder than anticipated. All I wanted to do was go home, take out my contacts and put on my pjs. The siblings are becoming more interesting to me. I started out hating Saxon and liking the other two (with reservations — I’ve known kids like them and reality rarely matched first impressions). I still think Saxon is an obnoxious blowhard, but looking like he’s more bark than bite. Is Lochy just better at loosening up? Or is he more the under-the-radar predator type? I’m not sure, but I hope we find out more. Piper just strikes me as an immature, spoiled, entitled kid. She has insight and definitely a more open mind, but manipulating her entire family and deciding the course of her life after barely glancing at the place? Not exactly a sign of maturity and wisdom. I continue to worry about Belinda. And Gaithok is dancing a jig on my last nerve.

Exactly. Especially with big churches, you get out what you put in. I used to belong to a very big church (not a mega church, but it was the largest United Methodist in the state). I sang in the choir, participated in a young adult Sunday School class — those were my people. Outside that bubble, I didn’t really know anyone and it was super easy for people to come in and out on Sundays without ever connecting with anyone. You really have to join a group or two. As for Kelly’s comment, I have no words other than to say I’m not surprised. At all. Not am I surprised Carlin posted it. In my state, they now have vouchers for private schools. On the online application, one of the options for “why do you want to put your child in private schools?” was you wanted your child to go to a school with “a different racial makeup.” In other words, “a white school.” After someone posted it and the state’s liberal paper got hold of it, they removed it from the site.

Well, that answers a question I’ve had. Mr A and I are trying to figure out travel plans for this year and I was starting to feel nervous. Unfortunately, we’re from one of the reddest states around (with accents to match) and we’d be hard-pressed to explain that we are NOT cheering any of this on and the only reason we haven’t moved to a blue state is that we’re stuck until Mr A’s son graduates high school. (Which, given he flunked math this term due to laziness may end up taking longer than originally planned…)

Yep. A while back, I realized that while the focus is, of course, on Marty and to a certain extent on George, there’s definitely a Lorraine story going on there too.

Good Lord! I’m glad I didn’t watch more than an episode of that show. My blood pressure would have been through the roof. One of my nieces is autistic (high functioning — you wouldn’t know when first meeting her) and one of my sisters has developmental delays. No one has ever coddled or made excuses for either one. There are modifications made as far as functioning and expectations, but they are still expected to meet certain standards of behavior. And neither has ever been treated like they’re the princess of the universe. They’re just part of the crew. And they’re very much the better for it. Seeing parents act like what you’re describing would send me into orbit.

Wasn’t Jess’s the one Michelle talked about being stubborn and “willful” so it took more effort to “train” her? I could be remembering wrong, but I always thought that explained a lot about her (people who are really broken in, as it were, are often the most stubborn disciples).

Duh, I forgot Tim’s comments! Money is definitely part of it and losing the money will be a huge blow. Loss of respectability will come along with it. for people I’ve known who were like Victoria, who “your people” are is at least as important as the money. You can have tons of many but no real background, making you “less than.” looks like they stand to lose the money and also their “good name.” So they’re doubly screwed!