Goodnight

The wedding locale was beautiful except for the muddy river/lake in the background. 1000 Taco Tony cut weight (with Ozempic) but not his hair.

Lily and Billy broke up after an off-screen therapy session? They’re a shitty couple but I would’ve liked to see that dumpster fire. Sally is so sexy and they saddle her with Nick AND a baby? Babies literally ruin everything on a soap. Hopefully she falls down some stairs so it can be over. Diane and Jack’s “plan” is so stupid. And Stark is such a creepy loser. Devon is too short to be a soap opera man. That is all.

If Summer’s heart’s desire was to “come home,” just quit Marchetti. You don’t need your father-in-law to buy it. You could have a job at Newman or Jabot. Diana making Phyllis act her true self is so gratifying. Jack NEVER should have given that brother-f*cker another chance, but now he’s reminded what a psycho she really is

Gina’s hair and lipstick looked fab. Frumpy blazer did not. Especially when everyone else was wearing fancy-sexy-sparkly dresses. Dr. Jen should have worked out that tan line. And a more engaging presentation. Matt was kind of hot (compared to Travis), but he’s no good. Gina’s much better off without him.

Ryne is boring, weird, and has a terrible nose. Except for acting as a manny, I don’t see what he brings to Jen’s life. That said, she was drunk as a skunk at the Dubrows’ and it was not a good look. Heather talking shit to her scary, old-ass friends after they left was rude, but her scarf-bib in the talking head was hilarious.

I refuse to acknowledge this sperm donor deciding he’s the father storyline. And Neil is not that kid’s grandpa. He has no familial or biological link. And he’s dead! Speaking of that, even if Chance was dead or crazy or whatever, it doesn’t give Devon any right to Dominic. The contract says so. Agree with everyone who’s like where’s Victor to crush this guy. Dominique is a Newman, yougotthat?

What Shannon said about Nicole suing Terry is true. Her being surprised that Madame and Niclown are friends after that happening is reasonable. Not sure what she has to be sorry for. I’d just shrug and be like, glad you worked it out. But it’s a fact, so sorry not sorry. Heather’s kids are pretty homely-looking, except for the son. Not that Heather looks great, but her kids make it clear that’s not her real face.

Wasn’t the lady in Spain Signy Coleman, who played Adam’s mother Hope? Sure looked like her, but I’m not familiar with Roxanne Hart. Don’t like NoChance. Shut up about your mission—that you said “oh, nvm” after 10 minutes of Abby’s whining. Also, Victor found out that Abby was okay from Jill’s voicemail?

I can’t believe Devon is legit trying to steal Abby’s baby. And even if she becomes a raging pill head, there’s plenty of Newmans or Abbotts to take care of their own. Eff you, Devon. Fashion Police: Adam’s suit makes him look like he has a giant ass. Billy’s weird purple coat was stolen from the Joker’s closet

Locke’s past is nothing compared to other creeps on this show. The worst thing he did was steal an old lady’s money after she was dead. Did he murder (Nikki) or attempt to murder (Phyllis)? Nope! Leave my handsome man alone. Jack could not be more unattractive right now, lecturing and sneering at Sally while panting over and chasing a she-beast who chose Nick and BILLY YOUR BROTHER over him. Loser. Love Sally and pretending the dumb shit they made her do on B&B didn’t happen. I’m appreciating the slow burn with Adam. I hope she makes him beg for it when the time comes.

God, I love Y&R weddings! But WTF is with the velvet? Billy looked like a magician. Ashland is handsome AF but that jacket was nope. Liked Mop’s dress, but still was missing something to wow. I’m not a designer so I don’t know what it is. Hate Summer, but her dress was on point. Phyllis, eff you and your cape.

Ashland crippled Jabot with like two phone calls, but now he has to listen to Billy’s bullshit? Why isn’t he crushing people, Lock Ness Monster style? I am interested in Victoria’s real take on this. How much does she know? Is she worried, or unconcerned since he’ll be dead in a year anyway? I’m here for Sally and Adam, but she almost fucked it up with her lurking and “oh, I am I interrupting?” Just continue to be smart and hot, and Adam won’t be able to resist. Stay away from Connor before he pushes you down the stairs.

I think Devon might be the next kidnapper after the way he grabbed the baby and didn’t let Abby or Mariah hold him. Can’t wait to hear the stupid name.

Rey needs to even out that farmer’s tan before showing off the guns. I hate the Abby-Mariah-baby story so much—I’ve been fast forwarding every minute. But I’m here for the possible kidnapping. I hope it wasn’t Stitch. I always liked him, even though he pulled a mother/daughter two-fer.

Have they explained why Abby doesn’t work anymore and just sits around the house with her mother-in-law? It’s not like she’s the one who’s pregnant (and on bed rest or something else limiting). Tara’s plan is so dumb. If it’s a con, it sucks. Ashland is very handsome. I hope he’s just pretending to be dying.

Tara kind of reminds me of Victoria, looks-wise. Deep blue eyes, cheekbones, and kind of faded out. Victoria was annoying the shit out of me being all up Billy and Lily’s ass, but I like her with Locke. She’s finally dating a grown-up.

Victoria looked like the grandma from Flowers in the Attic. I like Sally, but never knows when to shut up. Leave Jackie wondering—don’t keep asking “where is this going?” Not chill. And who the hell would want to be Summer’s friend? She sucks.

Tara looked like a vampire or zombie or something. Terrible makeup. What did Phyllis see? A browser history? Who’s? I think this baby story could actually be very interesting when things don’t work out as planned. Mariah is going to get it the worst. The most sacrifice and has no claim to kid at all biologically. Which is fine (that’s what a surrogate is), but Chance, Abby, and Devon will all be like “our baby” and Mariah gets stretch marks.

Rey never should have married Sharon. Besides her baggage (Adam and not-Adam related), he obviously wanted a family. Sharon’s too old to give him any children, and I don’t care how much Show insists the opposite, she’s not a great mom. I don’t really like Chelzzz, but I do want her to rise from the chair and fuck some shit up. Devon, you’re an idiot. And I don’t get why Abby and Chance wouldn’t want an anonymous donor? Do they really want some person hanging around and saying that their baby is actually his? Which it actually is, because everyone knows it.

Was Devon suggesting he be the sperm donor? God no. You can get sperm anywhere and Abby doesn’t need any “help”—she’s rich and can buy 400 babies. Why does Abby/Lola keep letting people rent out Society for holidays and prime weekend date nights? Even if they’re not losing money, they’re losing customers. I would be pissed if every time I tried to go to my favorite restaurant it was closed for some bullshit. Sally not as smart and savvy as she thinks she is, but as long as she’s messing with Dummer, she’s my girl.

Gina is awesome and so is her current hair. I would love to hang out with her. NOT defending Fraudwyn, because she is terrible, but she didn’t actually offer or give anyone drugs. If she handed Stella a beer or a joint or an 8 ball, she’s a piece of shit. But being a drunk saying dumb drunk things is not the same. Poor Sean, even though maybe he likes the emasculating attention. Kelly “learned” that she’s ok with being a selfish asshole, even during a pandemic

Was Jennifer Nettles singing to a half-empty room? It didn’t seem like there was very many people at the “huge” UJ party. I wish I could quit you, Jay Cutler.

Geez, Eddie. You’re newlyweds. Quit looking for trouble. This episode was drowning in Christmas decorations but all the lawns and trees were green. Did they film this in July?

Now Luis is having a baby with a regrettable baby mama. Boy, no.