Sofa Sloth

The picture composition is actually pretty cool for a change, I actually like the pose and the simplistic style. Garghh who even I am? 🤦🏼‍♀️ that hurt to type so here comes the usual snark - She still looks unwashed and narcissistic. Is she capable of capturing and posting anything that isn’t herself, or her food? Her instagram is a snore fest of narcissism, self obsession and terrible grammar. Her faux activism is nauseating and insincere. If she’s only donating a ‘portion of the proceeds’ what is the point? That could be literally $1 or less depending on who attends and how charitable she decides to be. It’s only to make herself look good. Either do a fully charitable class with full proceeds going to your cause, or don’t bother.

Absolutely, there’s no integrity. They’ll claim anything for a quick buck. Like the time ‘influencer’ Mariah revealed she drank Naked juice all throughout college.. cool story, except she actually didn’t, as her then roommate, called her out for being a lying liar that lies. Looking at the lack of effort put into her basic hygiene and outward appearance, I don't believe she uses a single product in these fabfitfun boxes like she claims.

I’m sure she meant to say ‘wouldn’t change it for the world’. Just standard lazy Brown errors they don’t bother proofreading and correcting, before sending posts out to the masses. Also, again with those heinous front bum accentuating pants! She needs to take tips from her fellow, leggings-as-pants, college friend here; she does it right with a longer top covering the camel toe and a darker color.

Yawndrina. Dead 😂

Exactly. That is an extremely average picture. Way too much shadow, bad composition and definitely nothing ‘magical’ about it. It may well have been a nice view in person, but the beauty of most things do not translate on camera if you’re an amateur photographer. She needs to look up the definition of the word magical and realise it’s so arrogant, referring to her dud picture as such.

But them nails tho? Yeah them nails bitten, short, stubby and covered in some kind of non descript vinyl that makes them look like mold. Hard pass yo.

$50? Oh sure, sure, except my dog is a (self-appointed) ESA Mare, so unfortunately for you, (based on the example set by your daughter), it will actually be staying free 😏 No extra funds will be given for my pet as it’s ESA and I’m speshial.

Absolutely. Even if they call it quits straight afterwards, the wedding will most definitely happen. It’s an easy cash cow and exposure for the opportunistic grifters gals and probably the only reason TLC renewed another season. I wonder if back when we speculated they were having relationship trouble (after Mariah’s cryptic ‘woe-is-me, I’m having trouble adjusting to the real world after vacationing alone for a month’ post), if part of that meltdown was her was feeling the weight of that signed TLC contract; the reality of the pressure now, to both marry for the moolah and to save the family show.

I’m guessing she loses a lot of hydration due to the amount of tears she supposedly cries at her imaginary dinner parties about her millennial first world non-problems.

Mariah, a Camel called while you were ‘working’. He would really like his toe back.🐪 Seriously, those are the worst pants I’ve ever seen. Only the biggest egomaniac or someone with a complete lack of self awareness, would post a picture with their front bum on display to the world, thinking it’s something people would like to view.

So she deleted our favorite comment! (See below)? She obviously can’t take constructive suggestions, if doesn’t fit with her ‘I’m the most wonderful wonder that ever existed’ philosophy. She’s that arrogant, she probably thinks she’s a qualified dietitian herself 😆

Pearl.stevens please come and sit here with us. I need her passive aggressive low-key snark on this forum. She is one of our tribe. Haha

No that’s a bit of a stretch. She’s never given us any reason to suspect she may be flaunting her sexual orientation. Her hashtags, dress code and general content of posts are always very non-specific or heterosexual themed. Definitely nothing gay to see there, your gaydar is broken.

If Mariah does need an easy job when the TLC money dries up, I’m sure she could approach mom’s second home Disneyland about being a Captain Hook impersonator. Stick a red hat, hook and a faux moustache on her, with that chinny grin and she’s got the gig!

Sad that Mykankles resembles the older matronly mum of all the group, when she’s barely in her twenties; even Christine looks like she’s her daughter! Appears Mykankles (like old Mare), takes makeup tips from the cult leader too, by the look of her drag queen face. I would be mortified to post these pics of myself, looking older than my mother, but then there’s also the fact the ‘jeans’ also look cheap and she’s shamelessly abusing their z list status, as a drawcard for pyramid sales. I guess there’s no shame in her grifting game though.

Ugh a newsletter? Mariah whinging about her mental health, while telling everyone how to live their own lives, when she’s the tender age of 24, is so intriguing to me and I definitely wish to subscribe to her newsletter! 🙄 She could not be more full of herself honestly.

Sheesh c’mon! There’s a spoiler alert function for a reason! So she’s GAY?? But...But...there’s been literally no hint of this! 😉

Ok yes, I just had to unfortunately reread it, you’re absolutely correct. Still a stupid way to spend your birthday, moping over first world problems with Audge (and then moping over it some more on Instagram for attention). An actual cry session, at an actual dinner party, which hosted actual invited guests, would have made a bit more sense for the occasion, than her little pity party with her own emotions, just saying 😆

‘I learned a lot this year more than any others that it is ok for me to feel my fucking feelings’ I’m confused by this, given the magnitude of sulking and whining Mariah outwardly did in her years on camera, I’d say she’s never had an issue ‘feeling her fucking feelings’ as she eloquently put it. And to spend her 24th birthday crying at a dinner party for no reason...sorry that’s not normal and sounds miserable. She probably needs to get some proper therapy and drugs and stop trying to simply self-medicate her depression with yoga, soul cycle and brunch. Also, Mariah go treat yourself to a birthday pedicure, or some nice new queer white sneakers, before taking pics that show off your feet. Chipped old nail polish and overgrown nails on your trotters are not a nice look 🙈 Lastly, let’s all give our thanks to the grapes, for hiding the horrors we may have seen, had they not been strategically placed there.

This blurry pixelated photo highlighting Meri’s mop hair in her eyes and her brown tooth; this was the truly the best photo Meri could find, to commemorate her only child’s special day this year? I could google and find about 100 nicer ones to use! Along with the generic wording, she really put a lot of effort in to that post didn’t she? Credit where due I guess, Meri did use a cute throwback pic on her story later there and at least she acknowledged her publicly which is more than her dear old dad (or bonus mums or siblings) expressed for her.

I do sincerely apologise to any grandmas for the offence, none intended! 😆 I had the vision in my mind, of the quintessential grandma twinset cardigan which her attire reminded me of as per below - And hey, I’ve been known to rock a nana cardy myself on the regular they’re awesome! 😉 but I wouldn’t claim I was a fashionista style setter for doing so.

This facial expression is going to give me actual nightmares. She looks like a maniacal demon. How does this sell the clothes!? The pose is the kind of thing you’d expect if she were trying to seduce FT, while wearing a silk robe with nothing underneath... except she’s wearing everyday grandma casual attire. It’s just stupid. (I’ll just leave this here for those who require it after that paragraph ⬆️) Now, this is what gets me about this ‘fashion’. It’s NOT fashion, sorry Mykankles. I know that fashion is subjective, but Lulanoe are your run-of-the-mill, generic, casual, flimsy rags you could find in any department store. No one is looking at them as fashion forward or trendy in any way and it shows her delusion that she thinks they are worthy of that label. The same delusion, causes her to think she’s ‘a #business owner #boss babe’ when in reality, she’s a simple customer in a pyramid scheme. Ok moving on to the caption. Holy damn. It’s appalling that she even graduated high school to be honest. I would appeal to the poster here who speaks ‘Whimsical Mykelti’ to translate this mess, except I really don’t care to even know. This girl is a complete duffer.

Agree. Disgusting, but sadly typical of an unscrupulous pyramid scheme. I saw on my Facebook newsfeed recently an old acquaintance talking about her cousins untimely tragic death from cancer and that it could have been prevented, if she’d only purchased a Kangen water filter. (MLM). Seriously new low of hideous! It’s all from the MLM cult leaders complete lack of business ethics, morals and appropriateness (the likes of DeAnne posing with corpses and injured family members). They expect their customers (the consultants) to sell inventory the same way, like complete desperadoes, no matter the personal cost. Just buy more stock and move it anyway you can or you’re a failure! What a pity these woman (and men) get sucked in to such a shit show and can’t see the horrible people they inevitably become.

I agree with you on this one. Although I don’t think she’s opposed to a little photoshop liposuction now and then, I fully believe this one is about angles and cropping. Taking a photo from above is flattering, it slims and hides your widest parts, plus she’s cropped out most of her tuckshop lady arms.

Her eyebrows have only two modes. There’s Lazy, Albino Mariah Eyebrows (LAME mode):- or there’s Overdrawn Mariah, FridaKhalo, Gorilla-brows mode (OMFG mode): - There is literally nothing in between. 😉 This just may just be the most facially unattractive picture she’s ever taken and my god, there’s certainly a few to choose from in that department. Quite an achievement!