Sofa Sloth

OMG! How did I miss this important hideous detail and then the uggs and scarf too!? 😆 my sincere apologies, I did the best I could with my bad memory. I’m so happy you all get to experience the real thingk! Thanks @Galloway Cave! I think there’s two photos the other pic she has the brown clodhoppers and no vest or uggs or scarf I’m sure, but this one is even worse than the other styled pic I was describing, haha!

It’s so easy to call out her hypocrisy. She’s a walking contradiction, I’m sure she wants to be an eco warrior, but in reality she’s a sell out slave to the dollar. Check out her instagram post from less than a year ago and then the subsequent posts within that same year of her single use plastic items - this is just what is photographed by her - a tiny teeny snapshot of what she actually consumes. Get the hell off my lawn you fraud. Oh cool story Mariah! Except...uh oh.. busted biarch

She’d have to ban everyone 😂 as you can see there was very little (if any!) support for this post. Maybe one positive comment per 30. I guess that’s why she deleted it, couldn’t take the negativity

So Meri had a major fashion fail, she shared a picture of her in Lulahellno glory about 4 hours ago and it was TRULY hideous and not well received. Even all her sycophants were commenting on how it wasn’t good. Unfortunately I didn’t get a screenshot before she wussed out and DELETED the whole post (some fashion consultant she is with zero conviction in her choices against opposition) but I did manage to screenshot some of the comments below. (In case anyone’s wondering or confused they say from 1 day ago as I mess with my phones dates & time travel forward to get more candy crush lives but that’s another story!) 😆 Because I’d hate anyone to miss out on the horror I witnessed today I’ve tried to recreate the look for y’all here: Casual canary yellow T-shirt with white and navy blue horizontal stripes (oversized and tied in a front knot of course 😆) which she then inexplicably paired with Truly’s short acid wash denim vest, and a formal looking mid calf floaty purple and lavender floral pattern wrap skirt (that you may expect to see at a summer wedding) and what Meri outfit would be complete without the hulking gladiator brown clodhoppers, raccoon eyeliner and fried scrunch hair?

True for the first time ever! 😉 I’m not giving her credit for that though, even my six year old son knows to capitalise ‘I’. That word really shouldn’t be difficult for her either, (as aside from being just one fucking letter to get right), it’s also the entire basis of her self-absorbed vocabulary (along with me, my, myself, mine...), the rest of the woke gibberish she spouts, is probably just full-on quotes stolen from a Tony Robbins book.

I see she found Meri’s orange fake tan stash 🦵 🥕 Stick to shilling stuff to the masses Mariah, you won’t cut it as a philosopher recycling the same old BS. Instead of wasting time ‘meditating on the mantra that you trust in your ability to know what’s best for you’, maybe you could instead meditate, on how to capitalise a fucking sentence correctly for a change. Dimwit.

You ladies have said it all brilliantly! This one though in particular. She is so hypocritical I can’t believe she had the nerve to post this. Does she remember the excessive consumption and carbon footprint created from her family alone with their massive McMansions and 30 different old-clapped out vehicles that they can’t possibly carpool in, for fear of having to talk to each other. Also Lulahellno is the epitome of discardable limited shelf life clothing. Activism starts in your own backyard hypocrite.

I know right? Including your commute like it’s an activity is a lol. 😆 It's only to make herself look sooo busy and important. It probably took at least an hour to set up that photo, drawing her pointless planner, which is obviously then been plonked on her mat on her floor, then she’s dragged in the (well hydrated) overhanging plant baby on one side, then awkwardly arranged so her woke matching tatt arm is in the shot by grabbing the ever present coffee from across the other side, while taking her photo with the other. Let’s all just imagine her creating and taking this photo and appreciate for a second the stupid lengths these influencer idiots go to, to humble brag about their lives.

Probably penning letters all day begging them for an influencer gig. I look forward to the next post in a months time about how she’s so stressed and her mental health is suffering so much because of her packed normal schedule. Welcome to the real world snowflake where people, you know, like, work and do stuff in the day.

🦗crickets 🦗 Wouldn’t it just Dawn? Don't hold your breath though, unless there’s something in it for her, she’s not helping out her community. I’m actually amazed that comment hasn’t been deleted yet since it reinforces the fact she’s only interested in faux charitable acts that line her own pockets. Also, unrelated side note, but I have found a contender for most horrific Lulahellno pattern ever (I know, I know, that’s a huge category with many options) but feast your eyes on this one 👇🏼 Because who doesn’t want to look like a serial killer who just bludgeoned multiple people to death with a sharp object?

Well you asked, Audrey delivered! (Ok it’s technically not growling chihuahua’s but there’s all breeds of dog faces represented here so you can take your pick of which one which mauls your behind). And at $30 including shipping, what a steal! SOLD to @Kohola3! (See you there in regulatory Lulahellno uniform 😆) Also If anyone else wants any leggings to wear for the community yoga activity, these Rose pattern ones next to them, that look like little versions of Paris Hilton’s face, are still available? Takers?

This (now deleted) comment 👏🏻

Yeah the last post was on the 12th July, over a month ago! Mariah was trying to shill all these Lulahellno ‘Jessie swing dresses’ for $50 each, (which to me look like flimsy, see-through, cheap T-shirt’s, but what would I know? I’m a silly monogamist who obviously doesn’t get #flagstafffashion 😆) So I had thought it might be nice, if we all choose one to wear to the next annual Primetimer Sister Wives reunion taking place in Chi town next year? Granted it’s not appropriate attire for soul-cycling or community yoga with Mariah, but be great for pensively lounging at cafes with our green stuff on toast or posing for selfies on random sidewalks. I think they’d go fab with some queer white sneakers. Thoughts? Also if you’re all in agreement, I call dibs on the drab non-descript brown one that could only be described as a poo costume

You can block someone from following. When you block someone, that person won't be able to find your profile, posts or story on Instagram. People aren't notified when you block them. We’d never know if that was the case and Meri did that but interesting point, it’s possible she purposely cut off the adults so that they were out of the loop 🤔

Sorry it wasn’t clear how I wrote it there, Tony and Kody mutually unfollow, Tony doesn’t follow Christine, but she does actually follow him. She may not be aware he doesn’t like her. Haha just assumptions 🤷🏼‍♀️

So occasionally most of the kids have commented on Mariah’s and vice versa. Ok bear with me here, but what I find interesting and telling after some detective work, most of the Browns with public Instagram (including in laws) all follow each other, with these notable exceptions:- *Meri and Janelle mutually don’t follow each other...(no real surprises there, looks like the counselling sessions worked great 🙄) Meri and Maddie/Caleb also mutually unfollow each other (again not surprising given the Axel birth drama and Lularoe fallout with Maddie), BUT Kody Christine, Robyn, Paedon, Gwendolyn, Mitch, Truly and Tony also don’t follow Meri! She does follow those guys back however. *Aside from the mutual ignoring of Janelle, Maddie & Caleb, Meri also snubs Garrison and Mykelti. *Kody doesn’t follow Mykelti or Tony or Audrey (Mykelti is only child he doesn’t, he even follows Mitch and man-crush Caleb of course, he’s either embarrassed by Mykelti & Tony or just forgot they exist in the pack). Meri is the only wife he doesn’t follow. *Tony mutually doesn’t follow Kody or Christine (or Meri as mentioned) but interestingly DOES follow Janelle and Robyn. He also doesn’t follow ANY of the half siblings, only all Christine’s kids. Convoluted, but you can make some assumptions about who feuds with who here. One big happy fambily indeed 🙄

Who says the Browns aren’t thrifty? With all this travel, it’s nice to see she’s saving on the plane luggage fees, by carrying the bags under her eyes instead.

yeah or at this Gym 😂🍟🍔

Exactly. Typical Meri, invites the drama herself by constantly and purposely toying with the public, by implying she has a ‘new man’ and then has the audacity to cry foul, when some dodgy tabloid (that nobody believes anyway), takes the bait and runs a desperate story. It all keeps people talking about her and helps sell her ugly rags, so it’s definitely a strategic move on her part. Jokes on her though, as we all know that if any man actually paid her an ounce of interest, she’d be outta Flagstaff faster than she could deep-throat a banana.

I caaaaaan’t (screamed with the passion of Maddie birthing in the tub) with that gross looking blonde stripe of regrowth! Either go back your natural colour if you’re that busy pretending to care about others, that you can’t chuck your dollar store box dye through, or maintain your dye job properly! Yeeesh. You’re on TV, you’re trying to be an influencer...put some actual effort in to your public persona lazy woman!

Turns out Mariah’s low key deep in the Lulahellno pyramid scheme too. Of course she is, I’m sure her sloth clinger fiancée has zero ambition to do it alone and her mother’s been slugging the kool-aid, it was only a matter of time. Now I have even more reason to dislike her. They sell together under ‘Rainbow Lularoe’ 🙄 Of course there’s no mention of ‘her side business’ on her ‘wellness blog’ or Instagram either. Hard to be a ‘social justice warrior and feminist’ who dedicates her yoga sessions to women and children in crisis, when you have a double life pulling folx into a scheme that specifically targets and exploits low income earners and in particular, women. MLM’s sell a lie to women about a life of wealth and abundance; women are bullied by the up line to buy sell and recruit, they lose friends and family, get into debt in certain cases and are encouraged to spend time AWAY from their children, (they don’t tell you that when they recruit you). MLMs keep the vast majority of the women in their schemes unsuccessful, and actually limit their choices...and then there’s Mariah our woke feminist plugging for people to join her and Audrey’s ‘team’. *cough downline *cough. This is why MLM is a feminist issue and much like the Soul Cycle/Trump situation, it highlights the fact Mariah is a clueless, money-orientated, double standard biarch who has no real interest in caring for the health and rights of others. https://medium.com/@woodthewriter/the-lies-of-the-bossbabes-how-mlms-are-holding-back-feminism-9cf5607c746e

I think the reason you like it is because she used some common sense and posted some professional stock pictures of the clothing looking the very best it can - on models, with decent lighting and an appropriate background. Ok, ok, so she chopped a few heads and hoodies off in the process, thus sabotaging the MAIN feature of clothing she’s trying to peddle, but it IS Mykelti so we can’t expect anything less. Still marketing progress in the right direction. Any clothing will look semi-decent, if not photographed on an apple-shaped, short and squat, Michelin-man Mykankles, in a idiotic pose squinting into the sun, with an ugly brick wall backdrop. Now if she could just find some decent stock images (or someone without bitten stubby fingers) for her stick-on nails pics...

‘newsletter from mariah brown — community’ Holy shite! This girl is arrogance personified. How does she deem herself interesting enough for a ‘newsletter?’ Who is interested in her ‘news?’ She’s literally done nothing of relevance with her life yet (except appear on very small scale reality show). Newsletter! 😂 phfttt! anyway onwards with the plentiful snark. ‘Ask yourself, right now in this moment, what it is that you need most — body, mind, & soul.’ Right now in this moment Mariah, I need you to continue making an arse of yourself with your everlasting supply of simpering platitudes. The ability to mock them relentlessly makes my mind body and soul sing! Student of Life We are constantly taking in information all around us and keeping the mindset of learning in all instances of life is something that I truly enjoy. I love how accessible information is right now and one of my favorite forms of information is podcasts. Last week, I binged Nice Try: Utopian - it was fascinating to learn about different places throughout the world trying to find the perfect place. Give it a listen if you want to learn something new! ‘this week’s favorite things... If there were ever a pair of pants I never wanted to take off, its these bad boys. Unfortunately, the size range is not super inclusive. Here is hoping that changes soon. (P.S. They are v stretchy but I sized up for a looser looking fit!)’ ‘I have a whole blog post on my new gravity filtration system coming up soon, but what I will tell you now is that I am learning a lot about healthy hydration and this system has been super important in my routine to make sure we are getting what we need — and filtering out everything we don’t!’ Ooohh no way! a whole blog post devoted to what a water filter does! Who here knew water filters, wait for it...filter water? ‘Koda is truly is the light of my life, but he sure likes to tug when we are on walks. The Gentle Leader has been an absolute game changer when it comes to walking this kid — he doesn’t pull at all anymore and I couldn’t recommend it enough! What is going well for you this week?’ Well thanks for asking Mariah, I didn’t realise the newsletter was also a questionnaire! So far the mocking of your ‘newsletter’ is a big highlight for me. ——————————— ‘Audrey & I have finally started wedding planning! Nothing major and certainly no details have been finalized AT ALL, but it sure is fun to get our collective creative juices flowing & to brainstorm how we want our special day to look & feel. PLUS, just imagine how cute the lil pups are going to be!’ Aw I’m sure they’ll get some super outfits for the occasion like Emotional Support Animal vests or Rainbow bow ties. ‘Now, what about you? Take this time to reflect what is going well for you, however big or small. Gratitude breeds happiness.’ Profound. Thank you oh wise (barely adult) one. I shall evaluate and reflect on how grateful I am, that it’s @ginger90 that has subscribed to your ridiculous newsletter, so I don’t have to in order to laugh at it.

‘Even my #lularoeamber says I’m a star’ Oh I didn’t realise she changed her name to America? 🙄 Unless she has, then no old Mare, it says nothing of the sort. To me, it says ‘I’m a boxy and shapeless looking generic sweater, that REALLY doesn’t go with those hideous sandals you insist on always wearing’. The arrogance on her is disgusting, definitely see how Mariah got the way she is.