FormeryHeavyJ

If they only shower once a week that couch needs that paper cover you see in MD's offices.

But it's FRIIIIEEEDDD!!!!

Ravioli in a can. They missed it last week.

Moral support my ass. My brother drove the house down here.

I DO like those camo pants. Do they come in human sizes?

I want to see Lil' NowNow lay the smack down again this week. If ya smell....what the NowNow's…..cookin'......

They started to fight....when the money got tight....and just didn't count on the tears. Sorry Billy Joel.

Or in Nicole's case....the hot water line from the washing machine on the back porch. I still love that Redneck Engineering.

Can you buy pine air fresheners on Amazon by the case?

This is sad tonight but I'll throw this one out for my ticket to hell. If he puts his feet in the sand at the shore someone will push him back into the water. Yeah I suck.

300 lbs at 14 is child abuse

Ok I am going to hell but I am flashing to Planes Trains & Automobiles where John Candy takes all the towels and Steve Martin is drying himself with Candy's boxers.

Wife says 641 for the one in the shower.

A triple McGriddle???? Where was that piece of Heaven before I had my sleeve gastrectomy????

I need a laugh tonight Pounders. Or the keys to my gym. Either will do.

Will we open with the bathroom shot?

You beat me to it. I was going to sound the OWW MAH LAYG alarm!!! And let's not forget....it's ok to eat it if it's fried. I need something to chuckle at today. My gym has been closed for 8 days now and I am suicidal. I work out every day, sometimes twice-daily. With a crappy arthritic knee there is only so much outdoor running I can do. Tomorrow is supposed to be 58 in NJ and I don't care if I have to crawl the two miles. I'm running.

Last night someone compared Coliesa/Colinisa/Confucious's dye job to something a Brady kid did. In that person's honor I present this.

It happened in 1993 and I still laugh about it. She was annoyed at first. Told me not to say anything to anyone at work the next day. Too late. I put a phone book on her desk chair and a small step ladder next to it. ALso a few crayons on her desk with a coloring book.

Good friend of mine is 4-10. I'm 6-2. We went to dinner one night and the waitress actually brought her a children's menu but upon seeing that Rosie was in her 30s....did not give her the menu. Waitress thought she was my daughter even though 1) Rosie is 3 years older than I and 2) she's Puerto Rican and dark skinned. I am pasty white.

A couple of weeks? Boy the shit's really going to hit the fan.

I think Lola is hot. Plus I can play it for her on acoustic. Six or 12 string. Whichever she prefers.

She can't poop? Try Burger King. Always did the job for me. That, or egg salad.

Write the letter!!! I freaking knew it!!!!!

Lola is thinking "this shit is really above my pay grade...."