film noire

Thanks for the inside dish, Avaleigh (and belated congratulations on your baby!)

Hey, Shitty Mess? Your life was not burned to the ground. The person whose life burned to the ground is one of your victims (yes, those pesky victims who won't go away no matter how hard you try to erase them from history). Your victim's name is Joe Ruigomez. A fireball robbed him of everything he held dear in his life; his girlfriend, his health, even his sanity, at one point. For a woman as shallow and toxic as you are, Erika, I'm sure being reduced to cheap hair extensions and sporting a face like a bitchy puffer-fish feels as horrifying as surviving the worst natural gas explosion in U.S, history, but it's not. It's a hiccup compared to what happened to Ruigomez, who needed every inch of his body rebuilt. And that's where you come in - you and your Cunty necklace - living the high life on Ruigomez's settlement, stuffing your pit of a mouth with champagne and lunch in Paris (and Tom's dick, always willing to do anything to keep the whore-money flowing; forgive me, make that pimp-money. Sex workers earn their money honestly). Stop acting indigant and self-righteous in the face of facts. Stop playing the victim. You're not the injured party. You're the perp - the grifting, hateful perp. And fuck your Sutton vendetta. We all know the only reason she's a "liability" to Garcelle (or, ahem, you) is that Sutton saw you for what you are - immoral, duplicitous, repugnant - and named it to the world. And then refused to back down. Just as Garcelle did tonight, when she - calmly! - said she didn't believe your version of events. They both got your number. We've all got your number. P.S. Hope your sham squad knows how to put together a look that says. "I've been named in a Federal racketeering lawsuit & don't my tits look fabulous?"

I have no idea what motive might be driving people who disliked Diana blowing off Sutton - minus them saying so, that's unknowable - but for my part, I dislike people who respond to an attempt to connect (however awkwardly done) with a nasty comment. It would be one thing if Diana had said something in her talking head that wasn't a jab at Sutton, something sincere addressing whatever feelings she might have had - "I felt Sutton didn't understand what I was saying about how, and why, my brother was murdered" - but instead, we got one of Diana's nasty (and increasingly habitual) jabs at Sutton; and not because Sutton had earned such dismissive treatment, imo, but because Sutton, in Diana's eyes, is nothing but a Bitch Eating Bacon Crackers. As always, mileage varies & all that good stuff ; )

I think sharing that your father killed himself is a way to let someone know you understand something about how tortured and brutal death can be, how senseless, and how hard it is to have a life you valued enormously end so quickly and pointlessly, with no chance to say goodbye - and I'm almost certain Diana would've welcomed that comment from anyone other than Sutton.

I don't believe that Erika was out of control/inebriated/drunk/etc. I think that was just an attempt to change the conversation about her from "Dirty grifter" to "Look at Erika all fucked up & ramblin' on about chocolate chip cookies for brekkie! (and being nice to Sutton the night before, too!") Fuck that noise. Never mind Erika living in one of the biggest pill poppin' places in all of history, she seems to have forgotten she told us she first went on Lexapro in the fall of 2020 (remember her big sob story? She was stuck at home during the pandemic - wandering the halls of her mighty mansion, a sleepless waif - and she called a shrink in despair & went on Lexapro). She's had months upon months of experience with these meds, and she's asking me to believe either 1) The shrink never warned her about mixing different meds/booze. 2) Erika somehow never took a drink while on the meds (tea total for almost a year, thus avoiding a real life lesson in not mixing) or 3) Erika went on and off Lexapro at will whenever she wanted to drink...because she bloody well knew not to mix meds. Erika also knows Xanax is often used as an excuse for inebriated behaviour because back in 2020, when Brandi posted shit about Erika's divorce from Tom on her insta, Brandi blamed it on the Xanax she took before posting. So forgive me if I blow the biggest raspberry in the world as Erika acts all surprised that a handful of pills and booze could result in her (supposed) inebriation ("I had no idea, y'all! Me being from a historic farm community - and not some hifalutin' textile factory down north! - I jes' had no idea that Xanax and booze and anti-deps would be an issue! And cuz of that, here I was all day - without a hair out of place, my lipstick perfect - playing hat the puss!") I hated this episode. You, Andy, do not get to rehabilitate that thieving bitch. You do not get to repackage her. Erika is trash. For years, she lived off money meant to go to people enduring the worst that life can hand a human being (and she lived very high off the hog on their money). And in the wake of all the misery she participated in, she's not expressed a single moment of remorse (never mind reach out or repay). She's garbage, and minus an apology and amends, always will be. Stop trying to make wretch happen, Andy.

Yeah, I know Enty and his snaky ways ; ) I stopped reading him years ago, when it was debunked that Downey, Jennifer Lawrence, and Di Caprio were possible sources for his blind items - and Enty himself admitted he's not actually an 'entertainment' lawyer: "He does work at an LA-based law firm but according to them, he’s not an entertainment lawyer — they don’t even have an entertainment division. Enty, it turns out, handles wills and probate." https://nypost.com/2012/04/01/how-crazy-days-and-nights-fooled-hollywood/

We're not done with Diana trying to make Bacongate happen! (Although if she actually was once a madam, she herself served sausage, no? ; ) Joking aside - as @Emmeline posted, Downey's lawyer denied the actor had anything to do with the story, but I wonder if Diana being at the business end of inferences/hints/ comments about what she's said and done (things many people would consider proof she's a bad human being) will instill empathy in her as to why Sutton - after undergoing the same treatment - feels the need to say, "I'm a good person" over and over again. (I won't hold my breath ; ) eta to give credit to Emmeline!

I liked it, because for a brief but beautiful moment, I imagined that was Erika's prison name ("Mama Erika will do anything for that 1.29 CVS lipstick...") and all was right with my world. Garcelle - she looked stunning at dinner, and had my favourite line of the night: "Erika, you're bugging the shit out of me!" (me too, Garcelle, me too). Diana - when you're so boring I'm actually hoping you ARE a madam, we're done (although of course I know it's a lie: nobody would pay to fuck Rinna!) Crystal - once again, I was more interested in the backstory ("My Fourteen Friends Dumped Me!") than what was actually on the show (Crystal sobbing, displaying terrifying levels of gullibility as to Erika's motives, and all but resting her head on Erika's shoulder in a way that reminded me of every segment I've seen on To Catch a Predator). How the hell did Crystal get expelled? How was the decision arrived at? A secret vote? Fourteen rounds of "Rock, Paper, Scissor"? A Rorshach Crystal herself failed? ("Tell us what you see...no it's not the dictionary definition of violated! Begone!") I don't like this version of Crystal, and I think we're going to be treated to more of the same; endless, angst-ridden, topic de jour rounds of Who said what to who and when about what! even as nobody watching gives a flying fuck. Andy Cohen had lightning in a bottle with Sutton, Crystal and Garcelle and he squandered it - and for what? The exhausting, tedious bullshit brought by Kyle, Rinna, Erika, and PTSDorit. Pfft.

I'm holding both women to the same standard: reacting to what they've said. If we ever see credible information/footage of Sutton actually saying something problematic, very dark, hurtful, and worthy-of-being-canceled comments, I will absolutely roll out all the big words denouncing that. I will also dump this show, because I'm not interested in race being used for reality tv thrills. I'm not interested in a presentation of cast members that has been manipulated to such an extreme degree I'm suddenly being required to ask myself, "Wait - Sutton's a racist?" And I'm certainly not interested in being expected to do so as glibly as a WWHL poll, as casually as Andy does shotskis. as easily as we once asked ourselves who was the real 'witch' (Carlton or Brandi) why Kyle loves herself a bad caftan, and whether Yolanda's "My King" was proof her marriage was in trouble. If Andy Cohhn has decided carelessly playing-with-race-storylines is the new "Taylor yelling at a cat meme", he deserves a Maloof Hoof in his ass.

You don't need to include "For a" (insert ethnic/gender identity here) for it to be a micro-aggression. Saying "You're so articulate" (period) to a Black person is based on the bigoted assumption that Black people are not routinely well-spoken, intelligent - and unfamiliar with 'big words' - so there’s no need to include "for a Black person". (And since I've already posted three times on this topic, last word is yours.) Hmm - is it possible Erika's "Say hey, y'all, to my pudenda" (aka pantygate ) was actually an early sign of looming financial trouble? (First they came for my undies...!) And does anybody else wonder if Mrs Girardi still has that oh-so-charming "Cunty" necklace (the one thing she deserves to keep? ; ) I cannot wait for Garcelle to lay into that thieving vulture of a bone-bag next week. Ms. Beauvais has her eye on the prize.

It's a microaggression at the very least, imo, and in most workplaces, anyone mocking a Black woman about her (supposed) inability to recognize a "big word" would be in serious trouble. Garcelle handled it with her usual grace - a knowing line in her confessional about having plenty of big words at her disposal to throw Crystal's way, words she chose not to use - but Garcelle's willingness to clock the speedbump and move on (instead of turning it into a storyline against Crystal, frex) doesn't erase the fact that Crystal crossed a line.

Exactly - I also have a problem with Crystal suddenly claiming the "kids in the pool" story was fine (as she did on WWHL) because if that's the case, then nothing she did that night makes any sense. If the "kids in the pool" story was not the issue, then why did Crystal not say, "That's not the story I found very dark and hurtful and problematic - that story is just fine" and then share the comments that actually did disturb her? If the "kids" story is not the issue, then why were the questions Crystal asked Garcelle about that story (as was the insult: "I know! These are big words!") Why waste time asking Garcelle if she knew the details, or found the story problematic? Why announce that Sutton's story was a test of perception, a Rorshach, if this was not the story that Crystal found problematic? That whole conversation that night was based on Crystal acting as if Sutton's story about the kids in the pool was 1) The source of the controversy 2) Very dark, hurtful, problematic, and (as Crystal previously said) capable of causing Sutton to be "canceled". And yet now, Crystal is claiming the story is fine - no problem at all! - and it was yet another sooper-sekret thing Sutton said that was dark and hurtful. And we're supposed to do what with that - not notice the vast discrepancy between those two positions? Pretend we don't see bullshit being flung like glitter? She was one of my favorites, but I'm liking her less and less the more she yammers on about this - changing her story in ways that demand we pretend she didn't do what she did, or say what she said that night - and treating Sutton like a problematic Russian nesting doll, each figure guilty of worse and worse statements, none of them ever to be openly revealed.

Absolutely, but what's missing for me in this last round with Crystal is exactly that - openness. Everything she's conveyed about Sutton's "very dark " comments has been confusing, murky, and the opposite of transparent. Frex, after Sutton shared her "kids in the pool" memory (ending with the line "That's how the world should be") Crystal said (roughly) "And of course I don't disagree with that, but it's not enough." If Crystal is now taking issue with how Sutton shared her memory back then, fair enough - but be specific now. If Crystal has reconsidered her agreement with Sutton back then, fair enough - but be specific about that now. Share the "very dark" comments, share your thought process as to why they're hurtful and problematic, share how it made you feel - mention it all! - but by keeping it unsaid, the accusation of racist rhetoric is not solved, but compounded by being implied, not clarified. On the non CrystaSutton front: Peace to Lois. I wish Rinna hadn't used her mother as a social media pawn (among other things, posting Lois saying "Goodbye Kyle" on insta, a fight Lois had no part in, and should not have been forced into) but that aside, Lois herself seemed like a decent human being. May her spirit fly free. I think Dorit, clad as a widow (thanks, @dbell1 for making me laugh :) could audition in that very outfit to play one of Henry the Eighth's disgraced wives! ( "M'lord, I do be stripped of mine jewels and bags of birken, but my quill and ink left handily near yonder wall - by my ethnically diverse maidservant, the one so adored by my white & right royal child - hath allowed me to hastily write unto thee a plea for mercy - in Spanish, of course....") Up next: Kyle as Henry himself, about to straddle the throne (as seen walking from behind). Erika & Dorit's lunch: since I imagine Erika was mesmerized by the thought of a boozy Arnold Palmer coming her way (and at least one meal not spent eating Bumblebee out of the can with her dirty paws, crouched on the floor, hissing, "But I'm the victim, here! Me!") I can ignore her mispronunciation of niçoise (and every other word she has to say about anything, ever) but what of Dorit's oh-so-cosmopolitan history? How could Our Lady Of Much Hoity Toity World Travel not know it's pronounced "ni-soise" not "ni-soi"? (Unless she was saying it in Italian...in which case, still wrong!)

Agreed, but those are not the comments Crystal referred to in such dire terms ("very dark" "hurtful" "would get her cancelled" etc - all of which left me thinking Sutton had let loose with a string of ethnic slurs worthy of a Klan meeting). It was Sutton's memory of a pool and jacuzzi full of diverse kids enjoying themselves together that Crystal found so dark and troubling. I didn't see anything in the "kids" conversation that would lead Crystal to fairly assume Sutton was saying that - when Crystal said Sutton's memory of those kids together was "Not enough, you have to go further" Sutton didn't disagree, which doesn't seem like the response of someone living in a fantasy world blindly claiming all BIPOC kids are doing just fine. I like Crystal, but this has revealed her to be untrustworthy, imo, and until she owns up to the impact of her insinuations, none of them should assume any friendship with her is genuine, or let their guard fully down (other than Erika: Crystal knifing that grifting, low-down flea-bag in the back would endear Crystal to me all over again.) Because of Crystal's lack of transparency, I don't have much patience for whatever it is (emotionally) that's driving her to throw out insinuations of dark & hurtful racist comments, further mysterious accusations on WWHL - all while respecting only her own feelings as valid - which would not have been the case if she'd been clean-handed with this from jump. She weaponized whatever her issues are, instead of sharing them. And it annoys me no end that she carries around her own issues, with no self awareness (see: Crystal trying to shame and mock Garcelle re: "Rorschach" - "I know! These are big words!" - beyond ugly. And for the record: you are not superior to Garcelle in any way, Crystal, so just zip it). I'm also annoyed watching promising cast members turn into assholes with no pay-off or purpose - Andy Cohen throwing nasty shit at the wall, just to see if it sticks. This show is not built to handle that kind of freight; to genuinely take on vital issues like race, class (or trauma). It all ends up feeling glib, shallow and very disheartening, because nothing is accomplished. The dynamic cheapens issues that should be treated with respect, kills off any possibility of light-heartedness, and doesn't leave any room for anything fun - ridiculous moments, foolish fights that amuse not enrage, unexpected moments of camaraderie - instead, another dining scene with yet another vicious-spirited conversation. Makes me feel complicit in dumbing down crucial issues in the world, and stupid for watching this show.

You always make me laugh, Happy Camper ; ) I listened to some of this episode (two minutes, couldn't take much more) and here's Bethenny on her (ahem) relationship with twelve-year-old Brynn: "We're co-dependent. We're like Siamese twins. She's on top of me and won't let me have one second in my life back, she's obsessed with me and I love it. It's like living with a stalker in your home, I need to get a restraining order, I need a second to live my own fucking life in my own body." Nothing like riffing on stalking/a restraining order as comic fodder when you slapped one on your daughter's father in real life! Queen of Mean B, keeping it classy as always.

"...Bethenny Frankel will be given the Reality Royalty Award at the June 5, MTV Movie & TV Awards: Unscripted, Variety can announce. The Reality Royalty Award began last year, recognizing the legacy of reality greatness. The first recipient in 2021 was the cast of “Jersey Shore: Family Vacation.” https://variety.com/2022/tv/news/bethenny-frankel-mtv-movie-tv-awards-reality-royalty-1235281974/ Never mind Queen B being sloppy seconds to Jersey Shore in reality royalty (ouch) winning this tacky award has to burn for the woman who left Bravo to "star in shows which represent a shift in the conversation for women...I want to highlight the strength, confidence and unstoppable power that women have."

...as would her parents ; )

WTF is wrong with this woman? Whatever your take on the Depp-Heard trial, the bottom line is the whole case hinges on two people accusing each other of absolutely goddawful physical and emotional abuse. I thought abuse (as an issue) was a cause Frankel held dear - or so she's been saying for years, through B Strong - not a source of derision and mockery: "...Johnny Depp looks like a hero only in a relationship with Amber Heard.” She added that Johnny “is gonna be f–king anointed Gandhi and the pope” once the trial is over. She argued, “because he was in a relationship with the craziest woman that’s walked this planet.” Bethenny continued on her rant, “I’m sure Queen Elizabeth is calling him being like, ‘Come here, I wanna give you a knighthood because you’re now the hero in this crazy villain story.’” She went on to say, “It doesn’t make any sense. Johnny Depp plus anyone besides Amber Heard is a raving MDMA cocaine s–t-in-bed-tolerating man. But here, he looks..." Bethenny then broke into singing Mariah Carey’s famous song...“‘and then a hero comes along!’ because Amber Heard is who he’s being compared to.” https://www.realitytea.com/2022/05/26/bethenny-frankel-says-amber-heard-is-the-craziest-woman-who-has-walked-the-planet/ What next? Making fun of mass shootings for kicks and giggles? I know she's just throwing out shit for shock value to get her name back in the news, but jesus. brutal, shallow and hypocritical doesn't even begin to cover it.

I think there was a need (at least for my sanity!) because Kyle clearly intended to bring up Sutton's comment on the regular, and by forcing the issue, Garcelle forced Kyle's hand. It will be much harder now for Kyle to pretend she's in empathetic need of discussing Sutton's gun comment ad infinitum with her posse of assholes - Kyle will still try to do it, but Garcelle at least pulled the keys out of the Farce Four clown car. The disgust I feel every time I see Erika behaving as if she's been cleared of all fraud & criminal activity is beyond measure. The only thing she's innocent of is decency - hasn't a lick of it, anywhere - and watching her swan around as if she possesses the moral weight of Mother Theresa would be amusing, if not for the burn victims she grifted. God bless Fancy Drew for refusing to apologize, back down, or validate Erika's denial of her corrupt and sticky fingers - for all her supposed awkwardness, Sutton is grace personified on that front.

God, how awful (and what a shitty thing to return to after break). I don't have a problem with them using the comforter to carry stolen goods, I have a problem with hamburglar # 2 opening the comforter on the street in full view of the neighborhood - with a security light on at the house right across from him - instead of doing the quickest/safest thing: go right to the car, throw the comforter in, and take off. Instead, he stands exposed on the sidewalk, opening up the comforter, wasting time picking up bags/dropping them - which is why you use a comforter to begin with, to avoid carrying/dropping shit! - I dunno, maybe they're just complete idiots who lucked out and somehow pulled off a million dollar heist (or maybe PK needs to answer the one question that's been bothering Lieutenant Columbo ; )

...I'm going to miss your posts, Gingerella ; )

I agree. These two criminals were about to blow Dorit's brains out, then somehow turned into Kathy's butler, throughtfully leaving her phone at the ready to be used to hunt them down the minute they left. I'm not a master thief, but after a lifetime of watching crime shows, I'd know to smash the phone or throw it in the pool. Do whatever needed to buy myself time to escape. What I wouldn't do is leave it intact to make it super-easy for Dorit to report the crime the minute I left the property. I also find it odd they shattered glass to break into Dorit's house, but after looking in, they walked away. You've gained illegal entry, why not enter? Why wander around like Goldilocks - This smashed door is just right! - instead of getting down to business? And what's with that bunched-up white comforter (full of stolen goods) being carried out onto the street - in full view of any neighbor coming home late/up late - and being emptied onto the sidewalk? What thief takes time, mid-crime, to sort and pick (and drop) items like a sit-com delivery man? ("Hmm, rather than shove this Santa Sack in the getaway car, I'll look through it right now! I'll put this Birkin under my left arm, the other bag under my right ar - oops, dropped it! - sure hope the nabes don't see me!") The incompetence of it all, and yet they managed to easily pull off a million dollar heist. And I have no idea if this was insurance fraud or the real deal, but I do know that PK is a deeply corrupt grifter stuck in a never-ending financial shit-pit, and I can absolutely see him hiring a couple of hamburglars to con his way out of the mess he's made.

WTF? Why the hell are Erika's lady parts "squishy wet"? Is there a medical condition being revealed here? Something involving her vulva being jampacked with marshlike clumps of wet grass? A stray Ocelo sponge finding its way up under her Cuntkins? Has she perhaps actually wet her Cuntkins? What crazy-ass woman looks at those words and thinks, Yep, red-hot fuckable is what "squishy wet" makes me sound like. (Next up: My nipples iz hard and my breastesses are squishy soft!) eta: She's spent years mocking every other woman in that cast - in the whole world! - for not being super-hawt-cutting-edge-cunty and yet here she is, thirstily begging for any and all attention in the most pathetic display of all.

I think Marcia would take pleasure in seeing Logan's kids - Shiv, especially - displaced and replaced.

I loved the moment between Marcia & Kerry, when Marcia told Kerry she would eat her omelet (eggs!) upstairs - makes me wonder if Marcia knows all about Logan's (possible) decision to father another heir, and if so, what part she'll play when it all plays out.