RebeccatheWriter

I think fear is a large part of it. I also think that they have been raised to not question authority (parents, God, church, etc.). The idea of doing their own research is probably foreign to them. I suppose it is evident in the girls seemingly not associating their own risks with Erin's hereditary blood clotting disorder. They simply waited for Dr. Vick to tell them it was an issue. Many first time moms I know did all sorts of research prior to giving birth. They took birthing classes, asked the doctor or midwife questions at each appointment. They watched videos and read things. They knew what being breach meant or different ways of dealing with morning sickness. There were moments of fear for them, but they managed to quell most of that through finding the answers instead of relying on others. These girls seem to lack any sort of inquisitiveness that is a pretty natural part of existence. I've met people like that, but so far it seems that this entire family is that way. Some of this is for the show, but honestly the only thing I can remember any of them being inquisitive or curious about was when Erin seemed shocked that Michaela wasn't worried about the wedding night. The not questioning authority is probably a big part of Kelly Jo an Gil's ability to control them. Keeping them compliant and obedient means that they won't question the big things either - why do we have to sleep stacked up like firewood? Why don't we get to go to school and meet other people? Why does Kelly Jo not seem to do any work at all? Why do my brothers dress up like cowboys even past the age of 8? Why can't I go to a legit college and become X? Unfortunately it has made these young women like Carlin out to be mindless and obedient instead of having the ability to critically examine or question. Not every doctor is going to be like Dr. Vick with folksy ways of describing issues. Most doctors are too busy for reading minds. @cereality That is disturbing about Alyssa. I had the same procedure as Alyssa did. Granted mine was minor and no damage was found. I had some wonky readings on a stress test after I had fainted a few times. Mine turned out not to be heart related. However, between the first time fainting and that first cardiologist appointment, I was practically going to med school with all that I read. I wanted to know what it could be and what I needed to ask the doctor. When my first cardiologist (sweetest doctor ever) sent me to another for this procedure, I did research not only on the field of electro but on this doctor in particular. He was a jerk so I went back to original doctor and insisted on someone new. While it was scary, I wasn't going into it blind. With the jerk doctor I had maybe two minutes with him to ask anything. I asked and didn't get the answers I thought were appropriate. I knew of other tests and asked why not about those. From Alyssa's video, it sounds like she did none of that. My primary doctor can use big words too. I have often told him thanks but I am not an MD. I need him to explain it a little more simply. He always does. I am glad Alyssa did clear that up about the Bates early medical care being so inadequate. I had assumed it was and that the Bates only did the minimum to get by with that many kids. I too question if there was something with Alyssa or even any of the others that could have been missed because they didn't have any preventative or diagnostic treatment. There are episodes of the Duggars with the Bates where the Duggars infected the Bates with chicken pox and later the Bates gave the Duggars a respiratory illness with a high fever (meanwhile Josie Duggar was a micropremie and Jim Bob is feeding them over the counter meds out of the same cup on a field trip. Yes, children get sick and such illness spreads easily and quickly. There was just such a nonchalance about it when there were always babies around.

They make me sad and frustrated at the same time. I am sad that they seem to have very little ability to cope with or understand their situation. At the same time, they are so vapid that it is annoying. Much of their ignorance is a choice. Instead of researching the best filters and special effects for their photos and videos, maybe they should spend that time researching about Layla's heart issue. It is undoubtedly scary when you or your loved one (child, parent, sibling, etc.) gets a diagnosis. My mother's doctors were concerned about congestive heart failure this week after she had some issues after her last chemo treatment. Yes, I prayed hard for her recovery. I also read everything I could. I questioned doctors and followed up with some of the research I had done. Thankfully her test results are better than expected. How do I know they are better? Because I did the research to find out what they should be and what they would be if there are a serious problem. I'm not expecting Carlin to become an expert. I am expecting her to put forth an effort to find out things and make good choices. Supposedly the kids were encouraged to volunteer at the children's hospital. They filmed Lawson there a few times. It can't be that hard for her to get a little real information and quit being the vapid little twit who carries her baby like a purse while doing a hair flip.

Back in my reporter days I did a story on a man who was a pilot in the Korean War and had flown privately after that every weekend at least. He had a puddle jumper of an airplane. He was the sweetest old man and was given an award for having the most safe landings of any private license pilot in the state or something. I asked him about how they came to that award designation and he said, "because all of the others end up crashing and dying if they fool around too long."

Many of the Bates kids have been blonde when they are babies, toddlers and elementary school aged. Their hair grows darker as they get in their pre-teens. Josie and Katie were both very blonde in their early pics, darkened, and now both are back to blonde with some chemical help. Erin's roots and eyebrows indicate the same for her. Addallee and Ellie were also very blonde when they were younger. I point this out because I had a red headed great-grandmother and a blonde grandmother. I was blonde with a bit of reddish tint as a baby. I became mousy brown by the time I was 2. Both of my parents have dark brown hair (well when my dad had hair). But in the sun you can still see faintly reddish tint to my hair sometimes.

I hate this practice of the gigantic bows, bracelets, etc. The bows in theory shouldn't be a problem, but when they bedazzle them up, include glitter and stones, etc., it can present a true danger to the baby. Thankfully none of them have gone the Michelle Duggar route with the fake hair in pigtails that Jennifer, Jordyn, and Josie used to wear. I'm sure some of the over accessorizing will stop once these girls have 10 kids and no time to dress up the baby because they are expecting number 11 and the daughters aren't old enough to be much help yet. I think a lot of it is complete boredom on the part of the moms. The husbands are gone with their jobs and these ladies are at home doing something or doing their IG modeling. Even their "candid" photos and videos of the babies are horribly staged. Carlin has done multiple videos where she pans the camera over the side of the crib to show Layla (who is supposedly just waking up from a nap) in a pristine onsie in a perfect position, etc. My kids never woke up like that. One would wake up with angry sounding babble conversations with the mobile and the other usually had a diaper issue that would take priority over a video. Second, all of these girls (but especially those younger than Alyssa) don't seem to know what to do with a baby or how to be a mom. Tori, Josie, and Carlin weren't the older girls doing the child rearing. They had the Bates version of sister moms. It was primarily Michaela and Alyssa raising them with music lessons, etc. from Erin. They are in some ways still play acting what they think a mom is supposed to do with a baby. It may not register even to them that they are trying to be like Kelly Jo but they have nobody to hand he baby off to unlike her system. That's not to say that Michaela would be or Alyssa is a perfect mom. But it is interesting that in the talking heads/interview couch segments that everyone mentions missing their cooking, sewing, etc. Lawson, Nathan, and Trace even mention missing their favorite dishes that the two of them cooked. Zach mentions this too. However, nobody ever seems to list anything they miss about Kelly Jo other than generalities about missing being at home and still being a kid.

Brandon is still pretty hardcore IBLP, but the guy clearly loves Michaela a lot. He takes one for the team a lot with putting up with her family. Unlike the other sisters' husbands, he's not the construction, plumbing, electrician, HVAC type. Instead, he's more artistic and almost cerebral from a fundy. Kelly Jo is pretty notorious about making her daughters do things others would find uncomfortable. In the first episode of the series, she hosted a baby shower for Whitney. Erin, who had been due around the same time, was called in to not only help with invites but plan, shop for, and host the baby shower games. Now she's hosting a shower for Carlin and wanting Michaela to do the food because all the other older girls are at home preparing for a babies or just had their own babies. I know these girls seem to let it roll off their backs, but that woman is incredibly insensitive. You are right that they aren't able to socialize outside their little circle. I remember watching one of the episodes where they were talking about Josie and Kelton talking. They said primarily they just talked about family and Bible verses. I guess it makes sense. What else do they know enough about to make conversation? I am guessing they watch television at some point and even some movies (based on things said and the presence of such items in their homes), but still they are pretty stunted. I can understand Carlin wanting to have attention in a family that large. It's natural. Heck, I'm an only child and I was annoying as crap when I was growing up because I never wanted to do my school work. I just wanted to talk to my teachers. I didn't even like the other kids most of the time because I was always around adults and thought kids were kind of dumb. There is just something about Carlin's over the top nature that is so fake to me. I never find her genuine at all. Michaela, Alyssa, Tori, Josie, Katie, etc. all have moments where they are not putting on an act and seem real - whether that is real annoyance over the clutter or noise or real affection. Erin and Carlin just seem to have a facade that screams out fake.

I question that too. Let's say she had Dr. Vick and two nurses. That's three. Then you have Chad, Kelly Jo, Whitney, Tori, and Carlin. That's eight. Then you have at least one camera person and a sound person. In some cases they can use Carlin's footage (she was taking still shots) and Kelly Jo's footage from her phone, but some of the shots are clearly more professional than their capabilities would allow. So that would be 10. I know Gil, according to them, usually comes to the hospital but is in the waiting area for the actual birth.

Whitney's have all seemed that way. I'm kind of in awe of her for that. I saw Whitney's mom there. But otherwise she had her husband, medical people, and her in-laws. I would strangle them. She also manages not to strangle Erin and Kelly Jo, which is amazing too. For a woman who can get seriously emotional at other times (vow renewal), I'm impressed with her on the labor and delivery side. Not downplaying Erin's issues with placental abruption, etc., but she seriously is hard to watch sometimes with this show. I feel like she wants the hospital to have stadium seating for everyone to watch her. I much prefer Alyssa and Josie's more lowkey approach of we'll call you after. I'm already dreading the drama that will be Carlin. Not that the pandemic has been good, but I am thankful that maybe we won't get the cheerleader experience for Tori's labor with the second K baby. Erin and Kelly Jo getting right up in Tori's face to tell her she was doing a good job would have been my breaking point.

Carlin's "Becoming a mother has grown me in so many ways..." has to be one of the most cringe worthy.

A few years ago the city where I was living had a church that really promoted Daddy Daughter Dates. I always thought they were creepy when it came down to it. Yes, I always loved going to Dairy Queen with my dad and still loves when he has something he has to do near me so I get to see and have dinner with him. My mom hates comedy movies, so we often snuck off to watch Adam Sandler or Will Ferrell flicks while she stayed home. But I wouldn't call them dates. Anyway, the pastor at the church was apparently telling the congregation that a father should be his daughter's first date so that she knows how she should be treated by men. Yuck. Last week's show 5/21: Sorry, I'm just getting caught up. What was with Whitney telling Bradley that this would be the last time they were alone together? Yes, she was having a baby, but way to make your child blame the new baby for lack of parental involvement. I realize that the sisters are trying to be unobtrusive during the delivery (I doubt it) and be off to the side, but they really come off as creepers. There is Whitney pushing (by the way totally calm compared to some of these girls) and you see Tori and Erin's heads popping out randomly from behind curtains and stuff. I half way expected one of them to pop up between her legs and shout encouraging things to her. Also (spoken as someone who has never done the whole birth thing), is it really helpful to have all those women squealing that you dilated a little more. And can someone just slap Kelly Jo with her breathless excitement as she videos on her phone. I am not anti-baby. I just find all the cheerleader stuff to be way too much. I'm having a Miranda on Sex in the City moment. 5/28 I haven't finished watching, but a few notes: 1. Carlin and Evan's shower for Layla. I hate shower games, but do they always have to only include a few key people. Are the rest of the folks just supposed to sit there in awe of the television personalities. And WTH was with Carlin knocking over her mother in law's tower of diapers? (For our drinking game, there were at least four references to them all being "super competitive." - plus of course Kelly Jo was searching for Michaela before the shower. 2. I admit that I can't stand how Carlin always looks for the camera and how she loves to make herself the center of attention. Erin is just as bad. She is always so dramatic about everything. Maybe the medical team was handing her the oxygen to shut her up like a muzzle. She just seems to be that person who wants everything television or social media perfect. 3. The interactions with Trace and his girlfriend were so awkward. He doesn't know what to do with her and she looks at him like she is trying to figure out what disorder made him like that. She has the whole baby voice thing that these people all like, but that's about it.

They do seem to focus more on the ungodly ways of others. But I wouldn't put it past them to use Carlin's issues with Layla's health or even Michaela's fertility issues as warnings to live a certain way for the younger children. Layla was conceived on their honeymoon where Carlin wore pants and tank tops, they saw women in bikinis, and they drank drinks that looked like alcoholic drinks. Erin would be their example of good in that she lives exactly how they like her to live and now has the most children out of all the married couples. I have no idea what it is they would blame on Michaela other than maybe saying she had doubts about God or something. A large part of the way these large families keep their even grown children under their thumbs is set them up as role models for the younger children (making it so they don't feel like they have the right to fail) or as scapegoats. A big part of their religious belief system is about trusting God's timing and plan, as well as this idea of God punishing those who are not living righteously. It doesn't necessarily even come out as clearly as "God is punishing Carlin for wearing pants." All Kelly Jo has to do is say to Callie, Ellie, and Addallee that God wants girls and women to wear skirts or dresses and that God makes life better and easier for those who follow his rules. Then she can say, "let's pray for Layla who God has given his burden to and for Carlin and Evan who must guide her through this."

I think that is a legitimate concern. So many of these families use the unfortunate events of someone's life as evidence or proof that they are living the wrong way. If their relationship with Jesus was better... If they prayed harder... If they were more godly... While we haven't seen such things being said on the show, I would be very surprised if Gil and Kelly Jo didn't say such things in private. I would assume it is said about non-family members first, but it isn't a big leap to say that about family. After all, in IBLP/ATI, young people who have doubts about religion or rebel against authority in any way are sent to programs like ALERT or Journey to the Heart, etc. where they can be abused. It typically isn't seen as a reward in their families.

Season 1 has not aged well and seems like a half thought out experiment with cue cards. Dave and Tiffani were both on last week's Chopped with Ted Allen. Dave was still sort of manic, neurotic in that way that makes you cross to the other side of the street to avoid while watching to see what happens next. Tiffani was one of the judges. Ted had Dave speak to how he and Tiffani both know each other. He essentially said that a long time ago they had been on a cooking competition show together. She added that it was back when dinosaurs walked the earth.

It isn't so much the thinking about death that got me in this. However, as far as family goes, he hasn't really had deaths in the family so much. It was the prioritization of Kelly Jo dying before anyone else. It just struck me as more odd than sweet. I realize that in their religion death (in conversation) is something they celebrate and preachers preach about going to heaven being the ultimate goal. It's just odd to me that a little boy who has little to no knowledge or experience in losing a loved one would focus his prayer on the concept.

So maybe this is the heathen in me, but who else saw and was disturbed Erin's video with Carson praying? Half of the prayer was about hoping God took Granny (Kelly) first. Kelly even had to step in and answer questions about whether or not she was sick. That just doesn't seem to be something that a 5 year old child should be that concerned over at his age. If I was Kelly Jo, I'd be asking Erin what sort of things they were saying about me.

I had already decided against making the trip to go to graduation. I would have wanted my parents there. My mom just finished chemo after having breast cancer. She couldn't have made the trip. That said, it still stung a little to get that email saying too bad, so sad. I at least wanted a good dinner out of it or something. My mother and father are still isolating, as mom's immune system is low and my dad's is wonky because of his own issues. Congrats to your son!

Clear as mud, right?

Last week Tom said one more to beat and then you'll be in the LCK finals - whatever that means. This week he said one more to be back in. So whatever that means...

I wondered about the glasses too. My mother had eye surgery too. She can see without her glasses with no issues. The one exception being if she is driving in the dark and/or rain. My father had it and still has to wear glasses to read, as it only improved his distance vision.

At least I was able to finish my thesis. One poor girl in our cohort was doing a thesis on communication strategies and tactics around the health issues with vaping. Her entire sample of interview subjects dried up when COVID-19 became more of an issue. She had to switch course fast. I think I would have lost my mind at that point.

Kevin confirmed on IG and during distribution of his take home dinners last week that LCK was basically a really long day of filming at certain points. Someone said they noticed two ousted chefs before Karen got back in had switched shirts. He said that was possible but that he wasn't in it at that point so he couldn't confirm that. By the way, his country captain is really good.

Agreed. I just remember Harold having to track down Stephen who was clearly over it and out of it. The frustration rolling off of all of them was palpable there. I can't imagine how bad it would have been had Miguel (can't remember the cheese name) or some of the others been there at that point. Leanne is an awesome cook, but she has some time management issues and some issues with recovery on the fly if something goes wrong. In terms of spoiler/speculation, Kevin confirmed via a message on Instagram that they shot LCK in batches which is why all of the eliminated chefs are not there at this point.

Thank you. I actually finished and have "graduated" as of May 2. A little anticlimatic in this age of social distancing, but I have my cap and gown and will take a pic when my diploma arrives.

I know all the leg humpers on Instagram and Facebook are wanting every show to be an hour long, but when the big drama of the episode is if Kelly Jo's daughters will glue her eyes shut with the lashes or which of Erin's kids is going to break the $19.95 foot massager Chad brought home...I'm thinking we're lacking a storyline here for 30 minutes. I can't stand their fundy beliefs, but I have to say that Brandon and Michaela probably have the most interesting lives of all the married couples. Yes, they have freedom because of the childless issues, but they use that freedom. I can appreciate her starting a business sewing (without it being a big thing with all her sisters) and him writing and illustrating a book. You can almost picture them being able to have a normal conversation with people. Erin and Chad still seem so stilted and like they don't know each other. I have no idea how they manage to conceive so many kids. I'm beginning to wonder if Erin calls out, "that's so sweet," after sex. They are a little more comfortable than they used to be, but they had nowhere to go but up. Carlin brought dresses from the "boutique." Yet she said aloud she didn't like one of the dresses. Way to market, Carlin! I see they were playing with the timeline again. This episode had Kelly Jo and Gil going on an anniversary dinner. Their anniversary is in December. They still have Erin and Whitney pregnant. Khloe was born November 7. Holland was born November 26. As someone with a lot of extended family who are super fertile and having had a hysterectomy at a young age myself, I feel for Michaela at these events and even on social media. Mother's Day sucks big time. Even if you are not longing for a child (I adopted), the attitude can be so challenging. You have Kelly Jo featuring pics of each of her daughters who are mothers. Yes, it would be awkward to include Michaela, but there are ways to word it. Talk about how she is like a mother to her younger siblings. I know when Alyssa did one of her pregnancy announcements Carlin and Tori were guessing it was Michaela and kept asking her point blank. That is just rude and cruel. My kids are Asian. I am not. I am very honest with people that I had a hysterectomy due to cancer and am very happy to be alive after the experience. Still I get people asking if I'm pregnant. I just graduated again. I stopped by my office to pick up something (still working from home now) and a coworker said congratulations to me about graduation. Another coworker jumped in and said, "Oh my God are you pregnant?" Way to stab me in the feelings. I laughed it off and said I won't wear that shirt again if it makes me look pregnant, but dang that hurt. Zach is the only one who really seems to care anything about Michaela in that family. I think Alyssa does show more respect to Michaela than the others, mainly because I think they had to work together so much as kids. The sisters all seem to act in varying degrees like infertility is contagious. Josie and Katie are about the line where Michaela really started taking over the raising of the kids and running the house. I have to wonder what their relationship is like with her. My mom is the oldest of a lot of siblings and had a lot of responsibilities like Michaela. Her youngest siblings don't even remember her living at home since she moved out after high school graduation. One of my uncles was 6 years old when I was born. My mom was 26. He's always been more like a cousin to me. He said once that he didn't realize my mom was his own sister until he was 13 or so. He thought she was a babysitter.

The boys are a bit harder for me to fully understand and get a read on really. Trace seems very entrenched by the whole thing and is clearly a mama's boy. Nathan was the same until his break up. I still see a lot of the bitterness in him over that. However, unlike Zach who decided to find a woman on his own terms rather than rely on his parents, Nathan seems to manifest his bitterness in the form of snide remarks about his sisters choices in hair, makeup, or dresses for a wedding. I sort of wonder if Lawson's bachelorhood is actually a bit of defiance toward his parents. He gets to do things he wants (mission trips, music, buying things he likes, etc.) without the responsibility of supporting a family. If he was truly carrying things financially in his teen years for Gil and Kelly, I bet the freedom he has now (even sharing a room with his brothers) has to feel pretty darn good. I specifically remember Erin telling her that one church was too small and wouldn't fit as many people as she thought. She, Whitney, and Kelly Jo tried to sit and space it out to show her. Michaela told them that most of the guests would be children, as she was inviting parents with several kids each. That was also when Erin told her that if Brandon didn't want to change the date of the wedding that she could find another groom. Erin was joking, but Michaela shut her up quickly. Tori did have a baked potato bar at her reception, but I doubt that was her idea. It was such a contrast to Josie who picked her dress out online and was set on it (even with the trip to New York), wanted things outdoors, etc. While Tori stood off to the side holding the baby of the wedding planner volunteer and lamented about eloping with Bobby, Josie was telling people where to stand and how to line up like she wanted. I still think Josie's bouquet looked like she was carrying yard trimmings, but I respect that she did what she wanted and really seemed to only cave on the extra fabric for modesty. I still wonder about the true relationship between Michael and Kelly Jo at this point. They pay a lot of lip service to the whole mother daughter thing, but there are some strange moments. When they did the "girls' trip" for Tori before the wedding, Kelly Jo (in front of all of them) asked Erin and Alyssa to offer marriage advice since they were married - leaving Michaela out of that discussion despite her sitting right there. Michaela is always tasked with a variety of things to do when Kelly Jo needs it. Even on that trip, Kelly Jo sat with the sisters and said Michaela was cooking dinner for everyone. There's just an odd vibe even about the way they have talked about the infertility issue. With Erin's miscarriages, Kelly Jo was very sympathetic to Erin and was concerned and checking on her (sending the other girls to do it). The staged conversations about Michaela's struggles between her and Erin have Kelly Jo on the periphery saying things that almost come off as "good luck with that." Don't forget the Thanksgiving episode where Carlin was walking on the tables to put up decorations in her shoes. Jane called her out on it and Carlin said it was okay because the shoes were new. Never mind the shoes looked worn as crap. Never mind they were claiming they still bought used shoes at the thrift stores. She had been wearing them all day outside around cow pastures (as said by Jane) and was walking where they were going to eat (on top of the table cloth. Carlin was also the one who sent Alyssa to the edge when she dropped the garlic bread, picked it up, and put it in the oven. I'm guessing we are about to get another Thanksgiving on the farm episode given the timeline. I am curious about the vibe between Kelly Jo and Mama Jane. The past few times Kelly Jo comes off as the lazy woman who creates extra work. The year Tori got married she plopped down in the middle of the kitchen to start discussing wedding plans while Mama Jane, Alyssa, Whitney, and others were cooking. She never lifted a finger. Papa Bill made breakfast for everyone and she showed up late. The one where the boys were building the barn thing was another time that she just stood on the sidelines and squealed every time they did something dangerous. The most exertion we see from her is when they played kickball. Given what we see of Mama Jane's personality, I'm not sure she is a big fan of Kelly Jo.