CletusMusashi

Michonne is thinking about dumping Rick for the cat sculptress?

Damn it, girl, the one thing I liked about you was that you didn't monologue!

Well, at least this isn't boring. I mean, it's stupid as fuck, but at least it isn't boring.

Oh, I just figured it out! The reason they talk so little is that, with every single visit, The Saviors took half their trash talk.

Even Dumpster Diva does not want a mustache ride.

No, Enid. You can not hang out at the party after you just killed someone there. Get the fuck out of here. Maybe if you were hanging around your boyfriend instead of shooting grannies in their own backyard he wouldn't have gotten bored to the point of suicial decision making. Oooh, hey, Reddy Machete!

Kill Enid now.

No. That was close. But talking about just klilling them and then walking away is not just killing them.

THIS!!! IS!!! NEGANVILLE!!!

I kind of like the GPK turning zombie. That means Rick can go there, deal with no vocabulary whatsoever, and go straight to killing zombies and getting absolutely no military backup. Not having them be human pretty much just eliminates the middle man, while providing the exact same level of customer service to Rick.

To keep people from changing the channel.

Wait... did they seriously go to the GPK again?

OK, I'm a tad late here, but how exactly is blasting extinguishers at rubble-fires a useful application of resources right now?

I don't know if I'll tune in or not. Simon is better than Negan, but Oceanside needs to just kill Aaron and Enid right where they stand. When members of a pirate gang that has already robbed you come back again, killing, you do not stand there and listen to their excuses. You kill them. If you don't, then that storyline becomes as stupid as Rick and Negan constantly pretending that they are This Time For Realsies Actually Going To Kill The Other Guy. I got Season 4 of "The Strain" from the library and I'm catching up on that tonight. If I happen to finish an episode right before 9Pm, then maybe I'll switch on AMC. But if it doesn't happen, I doubt I'll miss much. In case I don't make it back, here's my live commentary for the episode, in advance: Wow, Saviors sure do talk a lot. These night scenes are too dark. Rick is a moron. Just kill them. Yay, another artsy close-up. Yay, another monologue. Just kill them. Stop talking. At least Simon's a better villain than Negan. Enough already. Stop talking. Kill them. Where did those walkers suddenly come from? Aren't they supposed to be low on ammunition. Uh oh, I think there's one inch of Rick's beard that the sweat-bucket guy missed... nope, my bad. By the time Maggie passes her first trimester, Judith will be big enough to deliver the baby. Daryl needs a shower. Kill them. Shut up. Kill them. Shut up, stop talking, and kill them. Rick is still a moron. Fuck it, I might as well be rooting for Dumpster Diva. I think that about covers most of it. There's never much else to say any more.

So, do I understand correctly that throwing the first challenge gave the losing tribe fishing equipment, but not fire-making equipment? Because, if so, that was a terrible production choice, because it makes it kind of obvious that fire is available anyway.

Now I want to hear somebody get sent to Ghost Island and say "Ruh roh!"

I would quite like to see a Survivor hide-and-seek challenge. Kick the coconut, maybe? You couldn't possibly have a fair game of it, though, without cramming a ball gag onto Jeff Probst.

No, that's what makes it even funnier.

The nickname doesn't really seem to have taken, but I personally do agree that he needs to be called "Sea Bass." Too bad he's not on a season with Lydia. We could make so many fish jokes...

I still wish there hadn't been such a speedy Gonzales boot. She was beautiful, she had an easy name to remember, and she was visually distinct. Honestly, I think the only white girl whose name I remember is Other Stephanie. I know, studying the online character profiles helps with this problem, and I tried, but after this many seasons I just don't have it in me any more. As I get older and crankier, I become more and more set in my belief that if a movie or TV show requires external supplements in order to be accessible then that is its failing, not mine. I would have appreciated much shorter challenges and way, way more time spent on camp, politics, and character development. Either that, or make sure everyone has some sort of visual hook. "You! We're a little heavy on blondes, how do you feel about getting a Mohawk? You guys! I can not for the life of me tell which is which. Could one of you maybe start out with a mustache or something?"Actually, that's another thing I liked about Jacob. Not a whole lot of Bob Ross looking guys on the island. Especially not with those pants.

Dear Jacob: I am a very trustworthy person who just wants to help you with whatever ridiculous scheme seems like a good idea at the time. As proof of this, I am now pointing my boobies toward you. Please send me your social security number, mother's maiden name, ATM access code, and whatever random money, jewelry, and vehicles you have immediate access to. You can totally trust me. For real. Love, XOXOXO CletusMusashi

I think that dame's gams look swell. In fact, she's the bee's knees.

The only good part of this ep was the Jimmy arc, which just kept on getting crazier and crazier. For one thing, the comedy there was better written than in the other stories. But also, as usual, Jimmy sells the dumb, crazy comedy. Even when he's punching it out with a bunch of girls, I was just laughing that the show went there. Meanwhile, Alaba torturing the Colonel was just uncomfortable.

So is Carl dead for real now, or are they gonna keep time-jumping around some more next week?

No, Carl. You can't just stop fighing Negan and be friends. Extortion does not work like that.