CletusMusashi

Clothing-wise, all I know is that those golfer-zombie's shirts were way, way too brand-new-spanking clean. WTF? Murphy-wise: He's no longer just Dr. Smith. He's "Seinfeld." And the reason I put quotes around it is that he isn't just the character of Seinfeld. He's the show. Constantly snarking about every single person and detail? That's Jerry. The shifty guy who keeps winding up in situations he does not want and griping about it? That's George. The tall off-putting creepy guy who steals all the scenery and does surprisingly well with women? Kramer. Expensive tastes and delusions of entitlement? Yup. He's Elaine too. And stealing a mother and child's water, and then deliberately letting a zombie in to eat them? Who the hell does that? Hello, Newman... And Citizen Z... seriously? Who the fuck talks to a dog that long without coming up with a name? The never getting off his chair and playing with his companion.. yeah. That, unfortunately, is a real thing. But names are easy. Especially if the entire reason you have a dog in the first place is so that you can extrapolate freely in whatever scene you happen to be in without looking like you're just talking to yourself!

So was I the only one thinking they were going to open up that tent to see Murphy devouring that girl's corpse? Speaking of Murphy, can he control zombie animals? Stealing that bear and keeping him around would have been awesome! Especially if he can ride a unicycle. Or if they find a zoo the possibilities are endless. Zombie Hippo. Zombie Elephant, Zombie Gorilla with Hat... Even just a cave full of Zombie Bats would be great. I'm confused about why there aren't little fly and mosquito zombies all over the place. Maybe with some species it just kills them?

When Murphy first called Warren "Columbus," i wondered if it was a "Zombieland" reference. Homer and Amelia? No doubt about those jokes. Although somehow I didn't even notice "Amelia," until I read it here. Too much Vitamin V perhaps. And a cool old guy having a son named Max? I don't think that one was an accident either. Not in the ZA genre. I liked that they actually found a way to justify the "glowing radioactive monster" trope. But my favorite thing was Cassandra's choice of weapon. She's a former prostitute, so how does she kill zombies? Hoe-fu. Well, OK, that was my second favorite thing. First favorite is that it wasn't another dream sequence.

I'll accept that they spent a long time intending her death. But as for actually writing it, I think they spent about two or three minutes, tops.

Apparently rag-tag groups of wandering zombie fighters are not good luck if your name is Otis.

Well, it has been shown in the past to have a homing instinct. But mainly, I just wanted to say that I love your Far Side reference and can no longer think of calling it anything else.

Finally, we're getting some new monster types. Sasha looks like a vampire. Eugene looks like a Frankenstein. Daryl looks like... maybe a chupacabra?

Did the virus kill off all of the world's DVD players? Apparently the only way to play music in a car now is to have an actual radio DJ play actual vinyl records.

I loved the attempted knockout scene. BAM! "Ow!" BAM! "Ow!" "This works easier in the movies!" Plus, I'm all for any excuse to punch Murphy in the face. ITA with the Dr. Smith analogy.

Yeah, that worries me. He might need a new nickname.

I was assuming that when we next saw Judith she'd be two or three years old already. But the comments about how that might actually complicate filming are valid. I think I see a way they can sneak around it, though. Have Carl give his hat to Judith. It will cover her entire head, allowing them to choose from a whole stable full of imported third world toddlers when filming. This one's not acting right? No problem. Give him or her a nap, take the hat back, and put it over the head of another toddler. Hell, they could even poke a couple eyeholes into it, like with Donald on "Fat Albert." This will also be a great way to show what a prodigy Judith is. One actor could be a great tap dancer. One could play the violin. And one could be really great with a bullwhip. (Don't ask where they bought that kid.)

And even Lori, to the extent that they actually could, since everybody hated her so much. This is why Glenn and Maggie should breed. Maybe plot armor is hereditary.

My biggest thought, whenever I try to do a cram-session on the geography of the show is... George R. R. Martin really phoned it in on the names of those continents, didn't he?

I'm going to be little worried about any female who he has chemistry with from here on. The show does like to go in circles, and that whole "try to make them look cute together and then kill her" had a very deliberate, cynical, paint by numbers feel to it. Actually, the same thing happened with Bob. The less popular character gets an upgrade-by-association, and then gets killed for pathos. And unless Daryl hooks up with Michonne, he is always going to be the more popular one in the relationship. Stay far away from him, Carol! Maybe we'll get lucky, and he'll switch teams for a while. So long, Father Pee Pants. Rest in peace, Eugene. Then after that he can try a relationship with Carl's hat...

Jane Fonda as Poison Ivy.

That's what was missing in "Gargantua!" Not enough Orpheus! I don't give a damn about Billy's mother. Or most of Phantom Limb's sidekicks. The Action Man has exceeded his recommended small dosage. As has Henry Killinger. Nobody cares about Vatred! How do the writers not grasp that? Hell, I'm even getting bored with Sergeant Gentleman, if he's not actually going to do anything funny or awesome. But Orpheus? First of all, he's pretty much always funny. And on the rare occasions that he isn't, it's because he has something so human and sympathetic to say that it actually enhances his usual scene-chewery. I do miss his interactions with Triana, though. I like Al, and I like Jefferson, but neither one of them is his daughter. Orpheus as a teenaged girl's father... that was him at his best!

Zombies get to have all the fun...

They've had four hours to tell a story with a beginning and ending. If this was meant to just be a short experimental first season, I would have liked them to have been honest about it from the beginning. I probably would have given up after a week or two, because the individual episodes tended to not be that strong. But they presented it as more of a miniseries, so I expected a self-contained story with some kind of coherent finish. Nope. They wasted a lot of time treading water, hoping that providing a couple of smiles an episode would be enough to get them renewed for yet another going-nowhere season. I feel ripped off.

OK. Ha ha ha. We get the joke now, Galavant's "moment" song isn't that good. So.. maybe use a little more screen time for something else?

There's an extended scene which clears up a lot. Dawn: I thought you were weak. But you're not weak. You're strong. Beth: Want me to sing now? Dawn: No, I want you to be with me. Beth: Huh? I'm right here. Dawn: I mean, like, in a lesbian sexy way. Beth: How does that even work? Dawn: I'm not sure either. I only know what the dorky male writers do. I guess maybe you could... scissor me? much, much later... Beth: I understand now. I know what I have to do. scissor-poke! BANG! other BANG! ANGST!!! Beth (floating in Heaven with harp:) Oops. I guess not.

There are still plenty of dogs that like antifreeze. Natural selection takes a while. Remember how many crows there used to be all over the place? Well, they still have a very plentiful food source, but there just aren't as many crows now for some reason. Dogs either.

And we're really not sure how toxic zombie flesh is to dogs. We've seen them eating them, but we have no idea whether or not they died a few hours later.

The biggest problem with dogs is that they're loud. It's one of the things that's been bred into them, because their original purpose, more than anything else, was to serve as a warning system. When wolves see something weird, they get quiet. When dogs see something weird, they bark their asses off. I think any place that you lived and had dogs would eventually end up with as many Walkers around it as the prison did. Even cats, when they're in heat at least, would be dangerously noisy to have around. Besides, if protein is scarce, you might want to eat all the mice and rats yourself...

Here's a question: what do we have to send in to get Darabont back?

I do kind of wish there's been crazy-ass campaigns to bring back some other characters, though. It seems so obvious now. We could have sent in mustaches to bring back Axel, dollar store hats to bring back Dale, mysterious boxes to bring back Bob, thongs to bring back Andrea, envelopes full of spaghetti to bring back Herschel...