SnarkyShark

Not every child will be a crazy avid reader, but there is such a wide variety of books that every child can find something to enjoy. We already know that the Duggar education is a poor one, and since they are almost guaranteed to limit what their children read, it further limits how proficient they can become in reading and writing. Also, books are absolutely wonderful for the imagination because they open up new worlds and possibilities. Oh right, the Duggar children are not allowed to have an imagination. I was a kid who lived and breathed books. I became lost in books all the time. I would read everything in sight and then start rereading books if I couldn't find something new. Reading was what kept me sane during elementary school because it prevented me from becoming completely bored out of my mind. It is harder for me to find time for pleasure reading nowadays, but I truly enjoy it and find reading to be a fantastic way to learn new things. On another note, Potterheads unite! I confess that I started reading Harry Potter due to the urging of my friend, but I was hooked in no time. Reading the series for the first time was utterly enthralling and captivating, and that is still a defining point in my childhood.

I am cautious about hoping that any of the adult Duggarlings and spouses will ever be independent. Going by the examples of the couples who have been married the longest, the outlook is not good. Derrick had a college degree, real-world experience, and a legitimate job that could support a middle-class lifestyle for a small family, yet he turned to grifting fairly quickly. Because Ben was so young and lacked concrete career plans, there was never much hope of him and Jessa being independent. The jury is still out on Jeremy. He seems to be maintaining more independence by living in Texas, but it is hard to gauge if he is truly invested in building a career for himself. Does he enjoy having some independence enough to stay employed? Time will tell. Austin has the potential to be financially independent through his house flipping endeavors. However, it is impossible to know whether or not he is actually committed to supporting himself and his family independently and whether or not he want to continue to build his business. He could easily start relying on JB for support while enjoying the TLC ca$h. Again, time will tell if the house flipping business is one that Austin will continue to invest in or if he will take the easy way out. I have yet to be impressed by the strength of character of any of the Duggar spouses, and I doubt any of them will suddenly grow a backbone or demonstrate determination to remain (even mostly) economically independent.

Girls born in the year 2000 and later are now required to register as well.

I always wondered if there were any Gothardites in the Bay Area. It's very liberal, so I wouldn't expect it to be a hotspot, but I do wonder how anyone can afford a Gothard-sized family there unless they are millionaires. And if so, millionaires are much more likely to work in tech and be educated, which is outside the usual profile of Gothardites. My mom always said that there's a reason the Duggars live in a low-cost state like Arkansas—California would be impossible to afford with 19 kids.

It is impossible for me to distinguish most of the boys. They all have a similar hair color, face shape, names that start with J (obviously), and interchangeable personalities because we know nothing about them at this point. Even most of their voices sound similar to me. Honestly, I didn't understand that they had this many boys until they decided to make an excessive amount of congratulations videos all reiterating the same thing. I remember thinking, "Is there a James?" Things don't bode well for JB and the TLC gravy train he is so desperately clinging onto if the boys all have the same dull, interchangeable personality and people have far less interest in them than the girls, now that basically all of the older ones are married.

That made me laugh. JB and Mechelle try to masquerade as pure-hearted Hufflepuffs, but it is clear that they are truly members of Slytherin. Sadly their kids will never be able to have their imaginations enlightened by reading Harry Potter or discover which house they belong to because they are "heathen" books. Maybe they will be allowed to read the improved literary masterpiece that is Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles *sarcasm*, which actually exists. Look it up if you want to go into that black hole and lose a few brain cells along the way. You have been warned. It's a fanfiction that is a rewrite of Harry Potter by a concerned Christian mom who wanted to remove all references to witchcraft.

Close. Parseltongue is the language of serpents, and someone capable of speaking it is a Parselmouth. Avid Harry Potter fan here. I've read the books more times than I can count and I was somewhat disappointed that I did not receive my Hogwarts acceptance letter when I was eleven. Oh well, a girl can dream:)

I was actually thinking Joe & Kendra: Now Looking Forward to Sex, but that might be a little direct.

And on to the next! The wedding train shows no signs of slowing. I suppose the Duggars are out of marriageable daughters unless things turn around for Jana or they become even more desperate and decide to have twelve year olds start to court, so now they turn to the sons. Well, they've got to bring in the cash somehow if they continue to have no plans to do actual work, except if you count famewhoring as a profession.

Of course the honeymoon stage doesn't last forever, but it can last longer than you would expect. When my mother's mother (my grandma) remarried, she and her husband (who helped raised my mom from that point on) were in the honeymoon stage for over ten years according to my mom, who says it was actually rather annoying. Apparently you would be in a room with them and they would just be staring at each other, infatuated, even after a couple years. Grandma and Grandpa definitely had a special connection:)

Yep. Here's a link to the article. The wedding was today, as people speculated and an insider on FJ confirmed.

Good for her. I wonder how much longer she'll be able to explore before such behavior is considered ungodly for a young lady. On another note, a decent sized spider (capable of fitting in a two inch diameter circle) appeared on the floor of the lab during my bio class. While some people were freaking out, one of my friends grabbed a beaker, put it over the spider, and then slid a file folder under it to get it off the floor. He was named George and spent the remainder of class sitting at the table in the front of the room. She then took George outside to release him rather than killing him, but not without stopping to say hi to a few people along the way. It was kind of funny to see how long it took people to notice. Sorry for the off topic!

I fear you are probably right. I wish Anna would have gone ahead and divorced him. While it wasn't the easiest or most comfortable path, it would have offered Anna and especially her kids a chance at a healthy future. However, I just don't think she had the courage. It would go against everything Anna has been taught about divorce/marriage and the role of women because she would forever be a divorcee, a lifelong reminder of her failure, and be required to take on the responsibility of supporting four kids on her own. I don't think anyone believes Smuggar would be of any help. Anna would have to find a job, yet she lacks other skills beyond homemaking. That choice would force Anna to abandon all that she was told to aspire to as a woman and adopt a role entirely foreign to her—single motherhood and earning income. So where does that leave her? I can understand why she chose to stay, but as an outsider it's hard not to lament that decision.

I like the shoes themselves, but agree that they are not well suited to this outfit's composition. I am actually surprised to see Jinger wear that style of shoes, which are more modern and cute than I would have expected.

I continually find that having your connection to your emotions and ability to understand them destroyed is one of the most depressing things about Gothardism. It is perfectly orchestrated so the victims never become aware it is happening. Emotions can be undeniably challenging, yet they are a part of being human. Being completely detached from your emotions and told that they do not matter is not at all healthy. It can subtly destroy someone, and recovering a severed connection to your emotions can be almost impossible.

That baby looks too small to be Henry, so it would make sense if he is Smuggar's new blessing. I don't know Anna's due date though. As for frequently posting pictures of Jana with babies, why would they post pictures of her doing anything else? She is a godly young woman who stays under her headship's umbrella of protection and takes good care of the home while waiting for God to bring her a husband. The Duggars would never encourage Jana to live as a normal young adult or to achieve independence. They will not encourage her to get a job, live outside the compound on her own or with roommates, attend a legitimate, accredited college, explore her interests, or date. Jana is fulfilling her prescribed role perfectly. If she were to suddenly take a turn and try to establish herself independently, you would never see her parents post about it. That would mean endorsing and expressing pride in actions that go against their beliefs. Boob and Mechelle need control. Fiscal independence, actual education, or real social interaction would jeopardize that. So we see Jana doing exactly as expected, supposedly content.

Friendship isn't easy. At one point, the worst sentence that a friend could tell you was, "I don't want to be your friend anymore!" Hearing that was devastating. Learning to be a good friend takes practice and some trial and error. No one expects six year olds to be perfect friends, but they are in the process of learning through school and/or other activities. By experiencing and responding to different situations among their peers, young kids are able to learn socially acceptable responses through trial and error. Situations may arise that require comforting friends, offering advice or encouragement, and discussing the mundane and exciting aspects of life. Depending on the child's response to a particular situation, whether if affects them or a friend, they will receive positive or negative feedback from their peers. They can then use this feedback as a reference for how to respond to situations in the future. I am not saying that little kids are always the most reasonable, but they play a role in teaching each other social skills. Along the way, kids hone their sense of empathy through their exposure to a range of people and social settings. While basically anybody can recognize the expression of emotion, the ability to imagine yourself in someone else's situation and understand how they might be feeling also takes practice. Exposure is key. Interacting with people of all ages and backgrounds provides you with the opportunity to gain a sense of understanding about what their lives are like. You can then utilize that understanding to imagine how you would feel living that particular life and try to relate to other people. However, having a very narrow exposure to the world limits your understanding of different people's lives and therefore your ability to relate to others. Damaging one's capacity for friendship and understanding of social norms is just one reason cult environments are so dangerous. They are insular by nature, always keeping to themselves. Particularly with Gothardism, there is no deep social interaction outside of the family and any interaction outside the family is always with those who share the same beliefs. There is no exposure to the "other", who is sinful, ungodly, and thus unworthy of interaction. It's sad because at a certain point, money and material goods will fail to provide true happiness or satisfaction in life. Our connections and friendships with others are what sustain us on a deeper level. If the cult you grew up in prevents you from having friendships, it also prevents you from enjoying a fulfilling part of life. Yes, trusting someone else is a risk. Deep trust is something to be developed over time. Regardless, the real risk for Gothardites seems to be that someone will either realize all that they are missing or that they will develop too socially similar to the rest of the world in order to remain effectively isolated and dedicated to the cult.

Oh. Haha. I had no idea! Your comment intrigued me because I doubt the Duggar girls are capable of answering it since they were forced to become completely detached from what they feel. So thank you to @Sew Sumi and everyone on here for always giving me plenty of food for thought!

I cannot imagine what it is like to constantly be told that how you feel does not matter. Simply having other people acknowledge how you feel and being free to express it is essential for healthy communication, and I doubt that honest and healthy communication exists in Duggarland. I suspect it is discouraged. It is hard for me to comprehend what it is like to be raised in that reality, where you learn to push your feelings aside from a young age, where you are told your feelings are wrong, and where you have to hide your feelings instead of expressing them. That really weighs on you, and even more so over time. Regularly pushing aside your emotions leads you to eventually lose touch with them, and combined with perpetually putting others first while minimizing yourself causes you to lose any sense of self as you slowly die on the inside.

Ben still has a brain. However, he is not encouraged (and more likely actively discouraged) from ever using it.

Besides procreate, you mean? And pass their ignorance on to the next generation? I am starting to doubt it. Then again, Duggar/fundie "normal" is very contorted.

Another great comment on Jill's post about the lawsuit by BethG: "Your parents are deflecting blame and using you as a victim. How does that feel?" I'm not sure if any of the Duggar girls have a strong sense of how they feel because they have always been told to put others first and ignore their own feelings. They have been denied the opportunity to get to know themselves or develop strong personal identities, which is truly valuable for young people as they navigate their futures; caring about others close to you is admirable, but it is essential to be honest about yourself and what you can handle in order to make good decisions.

Desperate narcissistic 50 year old man tries to use selfies as a last-ditch recruiting and publicity tool for his patriarchic cult lifestyle. If this doesn't win them over, nothing will! Clearly wisdumb booklets fail to include a chapter on selfies—angles, background, and positioning of the person holding the phone.

Mixed: I wasn't sure about Lilli's song choice. She sounded better than I expected. Some parts were good, others were off. Jesse didn't blow my mind vocally, but he had great energy. Chris Blue sounded off at a few points to me, although his dance moves were impressive. Not Impressed: Mark's greatest talent will officially be avoiding elimination if he makes it through again. The parts of the song in chest voice sounded fine, yet the sections in either head voice or falsetto (couldn't tell what he was going for) were very weak. I liked that Aliyah went in a different direction with her song choice, but it didn't sound completely polished and I agree with whoever said she struggled with the low notes. I would be curious to hear Lilli sing Aliyah's song. The Good: I liked Vanessa a lot. She seemed very comfortable and it was refreshing to see something different. Lauren was solid and she looked like she was having fun. I appreciated that she differentiated with her song choice. Brennley is an undeniably good singer. It's weird that she seems almost too perfect. We saw some annunciation from Hunter! It was a good performance, and he doesn't deserve to go home. Is anyone else starting to feel like his performances are all very similar? Take and arrange a classic song. Start out singing slowly and softly with some chords in the background. Allow the song to build with full instrumentals and transition to belting by the end of the chorus. Next verse, incorporate falsetto and belt the second chorus, building to a high point. Then shift back to softer notes and go back to simpler instrumentals, ending on a gentle note. Now, I don't want to sound like I'm hating on him. He has been consistent and has a solid formula that sounds made for an indie record. I just have yet to feel more range and variety from him.

This is THE most cringeworthy picture I have seen. Michelle looks downright uncomfortable. She looks as stiff as a wooden board, and her attempt to fake her expression is wholly unconvincing. Of course, the outfit conforms to typical low standards.