Heathen

I hope to dog Katie and Travis continue their current parenting methods. I also hope that they see what the Stewarts do and keep their distance.

They're taking after Carlin's own parents.

I guess the third pregnancy isn't happening fast enough, so she might actually go through with the five-day EEG. Nice duck face, Carlin.

That's not information I had access to or would have searched for. It was just thoughts. None of us will ever know the full truth.

If they weren't legally married, Lawrence (or Lawerence) may not have had legal rights to make funeral decisions. And whoever wrote the obituary might not have wanted to call him husband if he wasn't legally his husband. Just a couple thoughts. Since it's a graveside service, maybe they just wanted a quick Lord's Prayer and out, thus they picked someone they wouldn't have to pay. Funerals are obscenely expensive. We'll never know the full story.

No, they don't need the income, but I think Katie's social media is mostly about attention and partly about competition with her sisters. I don't blame her about the attention part -- she never got much until she was old enough to marry -- and I think the competition part might be more habit than anything. I can't believe I'm defending a Bates, but Katie has come a long way in just a year or two. Some of her siblings, on the other hand, have regressed.

I googled "facials in Knoxville." This is the first website that came up. The cheapest facial is $90 for 60 minutes. For someone who does not have a job, whose husband does not have a job, but just bought a $100,000 car. https://www.downtownsmooth.com/facials I have had one facial in my life, and that was a gift from my mother for making the dean's list my very first semester of college. It was $50, plus the tip. Is it weird or bad that I'm actually jealous of these doofuses who don't have jobs but blow money like they're socialites?

Erin and Carlin, too.

The Bates boys get away with hand-holding, no chaperones, and probably more before marriage. The Bates girls don't get shit except those stupid purity rings.

You really think that mere FACTS will come between the Stewarts and whatever they want? 🙄 That would be a first.

I predict they'll "need" an SUV when the inevitable third pregnancy is announced. Oh my word, we can't fit three car seats in the Tesla! Gotta have an SUV for Carlin! I'm still trudging through the past seasons of BUB that I hadn't seen. I'm now on Michael(a)'s wedding season. Carlin is freaking embarrassing.

Well, he'd probably forgotten who she was by the time the next kid after her was born.

Gil's from Honea Path, which is about 23 miles from where I lived (a town that starts with G). I dated a guy who lived in Honea Path. Spartanburg is about 63 miles from where I lived. I just rewatched Katie's wedding episode. As usual, there's Gil whining and crying about how he'll have to "give his little girl away." Putz probably couldn't pick her out of a lineup. And he has to get in his look-at-me line about how he, her mother, and her 18 siblings are giving her away. I have never heard of that in any wedding, even fictional ones. Gotta love Mrs. Clark's unapologetic permed semi-mullet. Lawson, shut up! trooooooooly

Katie's fake hair color is too light for her. It's not flattering. Obvious handholding and front hugs before engagement(s). Scandalous! Only allowed for Bates sons, of course. Trace's facial expression reminds me of the test pattern on old TVs. Lights on, nobody's home. Kelly is as annoying as ever. I think Michelle Duggar's dog-whistle baby voice is less annoying than Kelly's exaggerated South Carolina accent. I lived in the part of South Carolina Gil and Kelly are from. Nobody sounded as hardcore as Kelly.

I'm watching the past seasons that I've mostly never seen before. I'm now on S10, E4 -- the episode in which Nathan brings Esther home for Christmas, and three Bates couples announce their pregnancies and/or genders. All I have to say is that Kelly is a damn caricature "NAY-ow," and she embarrasses me. Oh my WORD! Also, it's clear that a lot of the younger Bateses have checked out and are not interested in the scripted, edited, performative sideshow. This means you, Josie.

I found the missing Balka-wedding episode on Amazon Prime. I got a free trial of Up to watch it, because no way am I paying these bozos. Anyway, most noteworthy thing -- did I seriously just watch Evan Stewart getting his nose hairs waxed on TV?

Nathan. Carlin is ninth.

They learned from a champ. It's no coincidence that the three or four best-spoken Bates kids are the three or four oldest. They got proper homeschooling, as much as there is such a thing, especially where Kelly is concerned. The rest of the kids get progressively dumber as you go down the age line. Imagine how dumb the kids of the youngest will be, if they're homeschooled.

No, I don't mean this season. I'm watching season 8, which is Josie's wedding, not Katie's.

More thoughts courtesy of Tubi: If "oh my WORD" were a clue in a drinking game, I'd be drunk by now. Also, was Josie's wedding not actually shown? I was looking for that episode, but Tubi skips over it.

My guess is that her idiot parents put a lot of pressure on her so that she wouldn't show so much skin. Like Josie's wedding dress. Kelly -- whether real or scripted -- was over the top about Josie's original dress and how "revealing" it was. It was perfectly modest!

The Stews and leghumpers are!

I find it interesting that she has yet to change her surname on her Instagram. I would bet that she thinks (if she's capable of thought) that her leghumpers won't be able to find her if she's listed as a Stewart. Except they (probably) think they're just that special, and Tiffany (both nonwhite and foreign-born) should be grateful that she got to join their super-duper special, righteous, holy family.

He's beyond flat in singing. He's concave.

More thoughts courtesy of Tubi: How typical of a fundie woman to make a speech -- at someone else's event -- all about her and her childbearing abilities. Here's looking at you and your 36-hour labor, Josie. Life is not a pissing contest. Kelly Jo and Gil, or their scripting and editing, made it sound like Katie was dying rather than just moving to another state. Katie is blessed (and I HATE that term) to have her in-laws. If she has any sense at all, she'll cleave to them and leave her idiot parents in the dust except for unavoidable family occasions. Dang, she wore a ton of makeup at her wedding. it put ten years on her. She should have worn her hair up, especially since the show made such a big deal out of it earlier, and it would have looked better up. Lawson, for the love of gawd, stop singing.