Heathen

They learned from a champ. It's no coincidence that the three or four best-spoken Bates kids are the three or four oldest. They got proper homeschooling, as much as there is such a thing, especially where Kelly is concerned. The rest of the kids get progressively dumber as you go down the age line. Imagine how dumb the kids of the youngest will be, if they're homeschooled.

No, I don't mean this season. I'm watching season 8, which is Josie's wedding, not Katie's.

More thoughts courtesy of Tubi: If "oh my WORD" were a clue in a drinking game, I'd be drunk by now. Also, was Josie's wedding not actually shown? I was looking for that episode, but Tubi skips over it.

My guess is that her idiot parents put a lot of pressure on her so that she wouldn't show so much skin. Like Josie's wedding dress. Kelly -- whether real or scripted -- was over the top about Josie's original dress and how "revealing" it was. It was perfectly modest!

The Stews and leghumpers are!

I find it interesting that she has yet to change her surname on her Instagram. I would bet that she thinks (if she's capable of thought) that her leghumpers won't be able to find her if she's listed as a Stewart. Except they (probably) think they're just that special, and Tiffany (both nonwhite and foreign-born) should be grateful that she got to join their super-duper special, righteous, holy family.

He's beyond flat in singing. He's concave.

More thoughts courtesy of Tubi: How typical of a fundie woman to make a speech -- at someone else's event -- all about her and her childbearing abilities. Here's looking at you and your 36-hour labor, Josie. Life is not a pissing contest. Kelly Jo and Gil, or their scripting and editing, made it sound like Katie was dying rather than just moving to another state. Katie is blessed (and I HATE that term) to have her in-laws. If she has any sense at all, she'll cleave to them and leave her idiot parents in the dust except for unavoidable family occasions. Dang, she wore a ton of makeup at her wedding. it put ten years on her. She should have worn her hair up, especially since the show made such a big deal out of it earlier, and it would have looked better up. Lawson, for the love of gawd, stop singing.

Just what a pregnant woman needs -- paint fumes. When is the Hill spawn due? I also wondered about a Tim-Heidi engagement announcement. I wonder if the Rods are intentionally backing Heidi into a corner.

That he molested his sisters and another child? I doubt it. They weren't going to tell his wife. They certainly weren't going to embarrass THEMSELVES (first and always, their biggest priority) by telling someone they weren't close to. Again, I bet they were NOT told the truth.

I'm watching the new episode now (thanks, Tubi). These people are so performative and artificial, I'm almost embarrassed for them. I would be if they weren't so irritating. The fake bro hug between Nathan BB and Trace FF -- give me a break. How many takes did that require? Esther's wedding dress is ugly. Oh boy, can you tell which parent Nathan takes after. Does Trace have any expression setting besides "vapid"?

I'm watching this monstrosity of an episode right now. Carlin IS pretty over the top about Tiffany's ring, to the extent that she looks foolish. But then again, Carlin looks foolish and over the top about damn near everything. I don't get the impression that the Bateses really welcome Tiffany. Carlin is just more expressive about it, probably because she can't keep her trap shut.

Here in Michigan, I believe code also states that there must be a fence around a pool. But according to my (idiot) old neighbor, the regular yard fence qualifies as the pool fence. They had a fenced backyard and built an above-ground pool on top of the septic tank. Like I said, idiot. Back to the Websters, lazy is right. With four kids, now five, they could probably get a swim instructor to come to the house. But Alyssa is too lazy to bother.

How much of the truth were they actually told? Remember, this cult thinks that consensual adult porn is as deviant as child porn. They could have been told that Josh was "sexually inappropriate" and just assumed he got caught with an SI swimsuit issue or something the normal world would consider innocuous for a teenage boy. Considering that Jim Bob and Michelle didn't intend to tell Josh's wife (the Holt girl) until after they were married, I would bet 19 ice cream cakes that the Spiveys weren't told anything even close to the truth about why Josh was "punished."

Tragedies come from that kind of stupidity.

I don't think Alyssa wants anything to change. She's a fan of the IBLP nonsense as much as her husband is. She gets lots of attention for each pregnancy and birth; she doesn't have to work outside the home or put any effort into "homeschooling"; and since her oldest children are old enough to sister-mom, she doesn't have to do much housekeeping or raising the youngest kids. I remember when they were married, and some snarkers thought that Alyssa would be the Bates to break the mold because she didn't have an Erin-style Frankendress (and she moved away from her craven parents and wore things like tank tops). Her dress had cap sleeves, as I recall. But she was pregnant a month later, and she hasn't demonstrated any willingness to change things since. She's just like Kelly except in slightly less frumpy packaging.

They could have spent a lot less and bought a bigger house -- the ones in Elyria or Creston. Their house has almost no kitchen storage space, which is one thing, but what will they do when they have ten kids running around? The house is ON the road.

Considering how compassionate he was with the child incest victim, I'm inclined to think Malucci does have a kid, and spends time with him or her. I don't think that was the only child Malucci had rapport with, either.

I never liked Coburn, but I would have liked a fleshed-out Dr. Dave storyline (minus the character assassination in his last episode). Or Del Amico. But definitely not St. Abby. I agree it should have ended when Mark died or when Carter left. And if it lasted until season 11, the writers should have given us better storylines than helicopters chasing after Romano and the mysterious case of flight nurse Chuck, who survived the helicopter crash because the other nurse wouldn't let him fly, but somehow he wasn't on the roof or in the elevator when the chopper crashed.

And why on earth did they choose Abby, of all people? As Luka said (rather meanly, but that's a different story), she's not that pretty and not that special.

Or just stayed a nurse. She was a better nurse than an insufferably know-it-all doctor who barely managed to graduate from medical school, but less than six months later was apparently god's gift to medicine and everybody who ever met her.

She was on Ritalin, not Adderall. Even at the time, I thought the Joi Abbott storyline was BS. For one, the child's father knows his son is dying, but he's off on a business trip when the end comes? And Joi never mentioned him to Doug or Carol? I fully (all too fully) understand people's ability to self-destruct, but I still have a hard time believing that Doug finally got it together -- he was an attending, he wanted to marry Carol, they were trying to conceive -- and then blew up his world just like that. Complete with Sad Doug, Moody Doctor shots on the El.

According to Reddit, Erin and Chad know the gender of the new spawn and will announce it next week. I think that if it were a Golden Penis, they'd have announced the gender right away.

I hate to give Alyssa credit for anything more than being able to clip her own toenails, but I think you're right about why the older Bates kids might be close to their grandparents. It's a shame none of them learned from their grandparents' example.

Two kids and counting. I expect a pregnancy announcement before the fall.