Heathen

Because cash comes before Christ?

Everyone else is wearing summer materials, Gil is wearing black pants and a sports polo that is probably sweaty and smelly, and Kelly is wearing a heavy denim skirt, a T-shirt, and a heavy denim shirt on top of it. I feel stuffy just looking at it. Kelly and her shit-eating grin. 😁

In all fairness, regarding the padded bras -- and the vests Kelly wears -- maybe they're afraid of headlights? I can understand that. The hair thing is dumb, and yes, she's shilling.

If anyone would know immature, it's Gil and Kelly.

So Alyssa doesn't cook or clean or take her kids to extracurriculars. Does she actually homeschool, or is it "homeschool" like most fundies do? What does she do all day besides bitch?

And what did they do while they were struggling financially? That's right, they kept having more kids! Real genius at work there in Clermont.

I lived near where Gil and Kelly are from (Honea Path, and I think Spartanburg), and I don't remember anybody saying "idear." The kids never had any outside influence, like people with green hair, so it would make sense that they picked up their parents' "foreign" accents and manners of speech. Please dish about the cookout! Are the Bateses really that short? (I'm 5'1", they might actually be my people.) Did Jim Bob's hair move in a stiff breeze? Was Kelly as irritating in person as she is on TV? Was Gil as much of a jackass as he appears to be? Was the noise level deafening? Was there actually enough food for everyone? Was it beige? Enquiring minds want to know!

"You don't have any of that...stuff?"

I hope to dog Katie and Travis continue their current parenting methods. I also hope that they see what the Stewarts do and keep their distance.

They're taking after Carlin's own parents.

I guess the third pregnancy isn't happening fast enough, so she might actually go through with the five-day EEG. Nice duck face, Carlin.

That's not information I had access to or would have searched for. It was just thoughts. None of us will ever know the full truth.

If they weren't legally married, Lawrence (or Lawerence) may not have had legal rights to make funeral decisions. And whoever wrote the obituary might not have wanted to call him husband if he wasn't legally his husband. Just a couple thoughts. Since it's a graveside service, maybe they just wanted a quick Lord's Prayer and out, thus they picked someone they wouldn't have to pay. Funerals are obscenely expensive. We'll never know the full story.

No, they don't need the income, but I think Katie's social media is mostly about attention and partly about competition with her sisters. I don't blame her about the attention part -- she never got much until she was old enough to marry -- and I think the competition part might be more habit than anything. I can't believe I'm defending a Bates, but Katie has come a long way in just a year or two. Some of her siblings, on the other hand, have regressed.

I googled "facials in Knoxville." This is the first website that came up. The cheapest facial is $90 for 60 minutes. For someone who does not have a job, whose husband does not have a job, but just bought a $100,000 car. https://www.downtownsmooth.com/facials I have had one facial in my life, and that was a gift from my mother for making the dean's list my very first semester of college. It was $50, plus the tip. Is it weird or bad that I'm actually jealous of these doofuses who don't have jobs but blow money like they're socialites?

Erin and Carlin, too.

The Bates boys get away with hand-holding, no chaperones, and probably more before marriage. The Bates girls don't get shit except those stupid purity rings.

You really think that mere FACTS will come between the Stewarts and whatever they want? 🙄 That would be a first.

I predict they'll "need" an SUV when the inevitable third pregnancy is announced. Oh my word, we can't fit three car seats in the Tesla! Gotta have an SUV for Carlin! I'm still trudging through the past seasons of BUB that I hadn't seen. I'm now on Michael(a)'s wedding season. Carlin is freaking embarrassing.

Well, he'd probably forgotten who she was by the time the next kid after her was born.

Gil's from Honea Path, which is about 23 miles from where I lived (a town that starts with G). I dated a guy who lived in Honea Path. Spartanburg is about 63 miles from where I lived. I just rewatched Katie's wedding episode. As usual, there's Gil whining and crying about how he'll have to "give his little girl away." Putz probably couldn't pick her out of a lineup. And he has to get in his look-at-me line about how he, her mother, and her 18 siblings are giving her away. I have never heard of that in any wedding, even fictional ones. Gotta love Mrs. Clark's unapologetic permed semi-mullet. Lawson, shut up! trooooooooly

Katie's fake hair color is too light for her. It's not flattering. Obvious handholding and front hugs before engagement(s). Scandalous! Only allowed for Bates sons, of course. Trace's facial expression reminds me of the test pattern on old TVs. Lights on, nobody's home. Kelly is as annoying as ever. I think Michelle Duggar's dog-whistle baby voice is less annoying than Kelly's exaggerated South Carolina accent. I lived in the part of South Carolina Gil and Kelly are from. Nobody sounded as hardcore as Kelly.

I'm watching the past seasons that I've mostly never seen before. I'm now on S10, E4 -- the episode in which Nathan brings Esther home for Christmas, and three Bates couples announce their pregnancies and/or genders. All I have to say is that Kelly is a damn caricature "NAY-ow," and she embarrasses me. Oh my WORD! Also, it's clear that a lot of the younger Bateses have checked out and are not interested in the scripted, edited, performative sideshow. This means you, Josie.

I found the missing Balka-wedding episode on Amazon Prime. I got a free trial of Up to watch it, because no way am I paying these bozos. Anyway, most noteworthy thing -- did I seriously just watch Evan Stewart getting his nose hairs waxed on TV?

Nathan. Carlin is ninth.