Heathen

I doubt Nostrils would listen to any advice, however well-founded. He seems like a humorless, compassionless, domineering bully. I bet he tells Joy what to order in restaurants. I have an uncle who's just like him, although not a GotHardite.

Did Kendra's obstetrician appear onscreen? I'd have to watch the clips again, but I thought that Kendra was only shown from the chest up and that her doctor and nurse(s) weren't shown, only heard. I have a feeling Joy set herself up for a very rough life by choosing to marry Nostrils. Here's hoping that by needing caesareans, at least she will end up with a manageable number of kids.

Maybe they have (not that Stormy J would admit to it). It doesn't really matter how much food money they have; the kids are still going to get screwed while Beer Belly and Stormy get the good stuff.

So just how many cameras are on David? (h/t Chandler Bing)

I think it's the lighting.

That picture is heavily filtered. All three of them have the same "flawless" skin. Nobody looks like that in real life except maybe K-beauty devotees who have never been in the sun.

Upstairs in the boys' dorm, where the stench just blends in.

Notice that the boys (except one little kid), and most of the girls have their shirts tucked in. David doesn't, because he's too fat. The girls look hideous. I can't even describe their look -- a combination of Princess Erin hair, stripper makeup, old-school junkie thinness, and Salvation Army prom section clothes? I'd think most fundie families would see the girls and say "no thanks, my sons are courting modest Christian girls." Jill looks Stormy-er all the time.

Say "my brother Joseph's favorite," not "my brother's (Joseph) favorite," you dumbass. That is an elementary school-level error! I bet she leaves those bits of burned toast in the container with the cinnamon-sugar for next time. Gross. I've always just buttered the toast, not melted the butter and then put it on the toast.

I'm pretty sure she's American. Peer pressure, his parents' teaching, and god. It's awfully hard to buck what your parents taught you even if you have the critical thinking skills to figure it out.

I hope for his sake he grows into his hair. Apparently, thick hair is a Seewald trait (I sympathize. I have a ton of hair too.).

Who is that boy to Diana's right? Good god, he looks like he's got some kind of animal on his head. That's Bates-level unattractive. I'd guess that since she has an actual career, she's allowed to travel alone. I'd also guess that she's visiting her son and daughter-in-law for the birth of their baby, her first grandchild. Which is a kind and sweet thing to do as long as it's not Mullet-style attention whoring.

He's probably afraid of that very thing, after Joe and Kendra, Joy and Nostrils, and Jill and Derelict all had honeymoon babies, and Smuggar and Ofsmuggar and Jessa and Ben had within-a-few-months-of-marriage babies. I wonder if Josiah managed to have a conversation with his brother-in-law Jeremy sometime recently.

I remember Ofsmuggar pulling one suitcase, but not "struggling" with it. Douchey husband aside.

That picture of Smuggar and Ofsmuggar was taken the day after their wedding (they were married at 7 at night in central Florida, and he's wearing a wedding ring here). I've always thought of that expression as his "look at me, I've had sex" face. In all the other post-wedding pictures, he positioned his left hand to show his wedding ring. They took their photos with attendants before the ceremony, but sans rings.

I meant a professional! Not Janarella.

They ran out of (overly spicy) food about halfway through, too. Neither of them has any class or taste or gives a shit about other people. I stopped on the way back to my hotel (I live in a different state) and got something to eat. I only saw strawberry wedding cake at Josiah and Lauren's reception. Was there really strawberry everything?

Seriously. I went to get a damned Coke and was told it was a dollar. His mother (my ex-stepmother) is oblivious and our father thinks he's the goddamn perfect child, so it was just fine with them. They could have charged for admission and "dad" would have praised them. They ran out of food halfway through, too. It was mostly spicy shit.

There's a big difference between "strawberry is an allergen, how dare they" and melty root beer floats. It isn't like Josiah and Lauren charged for soft drinks like my idiot brother and his idiot wife's reception.

Strawberry isn't a particularly well-known allergen. They can't please everybody. I'm allergic to nuts. I've been to many events where I can't eat the entree or the sides or the dessert. I don't feel like it's the hosts' responsibility to feed me because I bought a gift.

Far too well-fitting to be $5. Somebody with sewing skills altered that wedding dress.

And if it's Ofsmuggar laboring, Mullet barely contains her glare and smirk.

Frumpy and saggy? It was damn near tight for a fundie! Definitely form-fitting.

We only see what TLC wants us to see, and anyway, every doctor is different. It's entirely possible that Kendra was following her obstetrician's guidelines, if reality is what TLC showed. Also, practice guidelines change over time. I don't know when you had your kids, but here's an example: when my grandmother had her first, in 1947, she had to stay in the hospital for TEN DAYS.

Alert is a Gothardite program for boys. It's kind of a training/fundie indoctrination camp. In Josiah's case, it seems to have beaten the spirit out of him. I don't think he was forced into marrying Lauren, but the common opinion amongst snarkers for years is that Josiah is gay. I think he got married to get out of the house, try to cure himself of the gay, and get to have sex.