piewarmer

I think the seafood-based upgrades to the credits were the best part of tonight. Plus the Scallop Fingers chyron - was that its first appearance?

1. Zeus for Bachelor! 2. That sparkly bra necklace looked to me like it was meant to be worn without a shirt (itchy but might net you a rose!). 3. This show makes me want to eat scallops.

I took it as a combination of button pushing and PUA-style negging.

I think he's physically attractive but am grossed out by his complete inability/unwillingness to have any kind of a straighforward conversation.

I thought it was a little funny when the editors highlighted Scallop Fingers dangling that shrimp over (I think it was) Amanda's shoulder.

I'm doing whatever I can to make this a thing in California. What I lack in legitimately acquired twang I make up for in misplaced enthusiasm.

I also thought Raven tossed out Stank On Your Hang-Down as a general euphemism, not as a personal preferred proposition. Also, I loved the phrase, because I am super dainty. I did enjoy the incredulous responses, though. SKANK? on your hand-down? If this was a game of telephone it would have gone to 'Spanx on a hambone' and beyond. I enjoyed seeing Sarah tonight. I didn't remember this about her and I can't recall specifics at the moment but she seemed capable of making conversation and expressing herself beyond the usual collection of BIP stock phrases. I would love to sit down and talk incessantly with Ben Z about dogs. While once upon a time I had a truly great dog, now I can match his every best-dog comment and claim with an anecdote about how my current dog is The Worst. But also the funniest and the cutest. But mostly The Worst.

I couldn't agree more, but (paddles slowly out to the shallow end of the pool with a drink in each hand) if you turn the sound off and pretend you know nothing of him, he's SO good looking. Now that I think about it, that probably applies to at least half the cast.

Well, he told Chris Harrison he didn't have a girlfriend, but he didn't say he had no wife. Speaking of, I loved that Chris also asked him if there was anyone who thought they were DeMario's girlfriend. I've been asking prospective dates that for years - Do you have a girlfriend, or does anyone currently think they are your girlfriend?

I loved his line about (paraphrasing) 'I gave up a lot to be here. I really miss my dog!'. Because that would be me.

I'm forming a Bachelor Nation band named That Douchebag Hair. Who's in? I call bass.

shredded by a flying false eyelash.

It's possible my brain has Bachelor-franchise-atrophied enough that I no longer recall my ACBs.

I was SO hoping they'd get to cheese in the quirk/quark/cork bit! So Rachel likes to leave work, grab a bite and then clean. SO far from my idea of a relaxing evening (which is likely why my home is a hecking mess).

...for you! Me, I have to scurry around to find a replacement something I'm embarrassed to be doing this summer.

He may also have a shaky grasp on time. This week's previouslies reminded me of one of DiMario's weak protests that I let slide last week, exclaiming that he met Lexi "many times ago". WHAT?

I re-watched it in slow motion and it was captivating, not least because his hair fell perfectly back into place post-whaboom.

When the guy who did "Dude, Where's My Car?" thinks you're a clown, there is a lesson to be learned.

The jury was so distractingly glam this time - at one point I wondered if I was watching a Whitesnake video, wind machines and all.

I wondered if she was trying to convey something else because her deliberate enunciation in that scene carried such a heavy whiff of There's Always Money In The Banana Stand.

I actually like her quite a lot when the hat comes off and the TEAM FUN FUN WOCKA WOCKA WOCKA WE SO ZANY METER schtick gets dialed back. I see a competency I appreciate in those moments.

...and we get closer and closer to Idiocracy. I had no idea I was tuning into an all-new Ow! My Balls!

You are giving me flashbacks to Jubilee. I frequently wondered who this Joob Lee person was. Say all the syllables!

Perhaps my favorite moment ever on this show was from last night, a shot of several ladies that made it clear tensions were running high, and something of vital importance was at stake...leading to a shot of one of them tossing a bit of snack into the gaping maw of yes-a-shark, while the rest erupted in cheers.

I wonder what a lipreader would make of her lipmoves.