jade.black

My friend and I were practically crying laughing during the scenes after Demi brought her girlfriend to the beach. It played out like a Burning Love parody or scenes from a docu-comedy. Demi: This is my girlfriend, Kristian, who none of you know and who I was dating pre-show, before I showed up and strung your boy Derek along for days on end! *Everyone cheers, cuts to talking heads about how brave and amazing Demi and said girlfriend (who suddenly seem to be an established relationship) are. The biggest initial concern seems to be that Kristian has not earned her place in Bachelor Nation, but once they realize the edit that the producers want, this is quickly forgiven* *Pan to Derek looking pained while his friends wildly clap around him for his up-til-now main love interest and the relationship she had before coming on the show* Then later on... Hannah runs up with a date card. What a shock, it's for Demi and Kristian! Everyone fawns all over them and beams as they leave to a romantic date. Pan along the adoring crowd to stop on Derek, who never had a date of his own, trying to feign a smile as everyone fanatically supports the woman who has been leading him on on national television. Did nobody else find this comedy gold?! Also, Chris Harrison was practically gleeful as he was skipping down the stairs to grab Demi and ruin Derek's life. I'm just enjoying all this for what it is, guys.

Thank you! I remember him now, I never realized it was the same actor.

I wasn't as bothered by the OOC drug use since Veronica is now an adult (I've also been glad they finally have her drinking alcohol since she was always very averse to accepting drinks when she was underage- understandably with her history), but I was put off by the fact that they just seemed drunk complete with being hungover the following morning. Especially since the main danger of MDMA is dehydration, there is really no need to drink while rolling and I get bothered when that's shown as the normal way to enjoy the drug... also, if you partake in E without alcohol, you'll sleep fantastically and wake up feeling 100% good to go the next morning. They may as well have just left out the Ecstasy line and portrayed it as a big drinking night since the drug use comment didn't mesh with the following scenes. (13 Reasons Why did a pretty accurate portrayal of MDMA use, for the record.)

The time continuity problems have been bugging me too, but I prefer the time jump in a way because as Leo said, it puts Veronica "well into her 30s" along with her friends, and they definitely look closer to mid 30s than early 30s. Then again, it's canon that they graduated in 2006, which made them 28 when the reunion happened in the movie (2016), so maybe we can pretend season 4 is taking place in 2022 or something? It does bug, but I also don't buy that they're only 31 in this season, and the comment about Veronica/Logan's 5 year relationship as well as how long Keith has been walking with a cane solidify that they are viewing the movie events as having taken place roughly 5 years ago. I loved the Mercer and Tim cameos! Can anyone remind me who Lucky is though, since I've seen a bunch of you mention it's the same actor? I don't want to Google because I live in fear of spoilers for this season. The Logan/Leo scene was one of my favorites so far this season (despite them not acknowledging that they already know each other). I laughed out loud. I also enjoyed the callback to Logan's inspirational quotes, and the congressman's "You're a strange individual, aren't you?" EDIT: Watched episodes 3 and 4 together and was mixing up events.

He is so cringeworthy I get skeeved out just watching them together. Along with the head on the shoulder, there's the full body curl into her and the demure and shy comments he makes to her about how he can't believe this is happening and she's just so beautiful. He's creepy! And she definitely does not seem to reciprocate. Has she given Dylan a vertical straddle the way she did with Blake? No, she just knew keeping Dylan around would be better for her image than choosing the playboy. Dylan is a clinger for sure, I've rarely been so squicked out watching a couple on this show. I'm enjoying watching Blake devolve into the same emotional mess he was on Becca's season though. You had the first date card and didn't even ask her out, loser.

I agree, but (as a LoVe fan) I have always thought it's Veronica who treats him poorly when they're together. I'm glad they're showing that he's trying to grow and improve, and she is still not treating him the way that she should in a relationship. As much as I love Veronica, she is a mess when it comes to personal relationships, and while he's always been all in with her while they're committed, she keeps him at a certain amount of distance. Logan isn't perfect and did some messed up things as a teenager, but he seems like a genuinely good person now, and she needs to meet him there. I also felt like they were addressing fan complaints about Logan missing his "edge" in the movie. Still no Weevil?? How long must I wait! I'm really enjoying the guy who plays Big Dick's prison friend. He's an interesting addition to the show.

Guys, I love this show. Like really love it. Forgot how much I adore it until I binged the first three seasons and movie again over the last month or so in anticipation of the new season. That said, I'm nervous. I'm a long-time passenger on the LoVe ship... if they take back the happy ending for these two, I will be enraged. Despite that, I'm so excited to have this show back. No Weevil or Dick (Jr) yet, but I can't wait to see them. The mystery seems promising, Veronica and her dad still have their banter (although I, like many of you I see, could do with the "cussing" thing- it's distracting and too much of a Good Place reference), as do Veronica and Logan. I loved their beach reunion- and the reunion right afterwards! Thank God for lighter censors! Do we really think Veronica and all of her spy instincts wouldn't have figured out where Logan travels to though? She can't leave anything unsolved, although I guess prying into military secrets crosses a line? I dunno. Two complaints: Hate the new theme- like so much. I'd have rather they reused the season 3 theme if they really didn't want to go back to the original (but the original is best). And also, Veronica always had such a cute/punk rock style back in the day, and I really didn't care for how they dressed her in the movie or in this first episode. It was especially jarring when she was in conservative pajamas while Logan was walking around shirtless, and even moreso when she walked out onto a beach full of half naked spring breakers wearing pants and a jacket. I thought she must have been sweltering with all those clothes on. Distracting.

I would too. He's the only single guy there (Wells is still my #1) that does anything for me. He seems genuinely light-hearted and fun so who cares if he's a mess in relationships? It's a Paradise fling! I'm pretty non-committal myself and like the idea of traveling around in a van with no responsibilities, so heyy! We can shave that mustache. The long hair can stay.

So, funny that you said this, because I realized while he was reading his love letter to Caelynn that he reminds me exactly of this friend I had years ago who was always very intense and desperate for love and rubbed a bunch of people the wrong way all the time. Their looks, speech pattern, cringey dialogue, everything... all the same. Well, that guy ended up getting a Russian mail order bride, and they are still together with two kids. I actually said out loud at the end of this episode that Cam should take the same path. There's hope yet, Cam! Just turn to the Internet. Or Annaliese.

Blake to Caelynn: "I haven't had a chance to catch up with you yet!... because I didn't get a chance yesterday... and I didn't get a chance today." Wow. The brain cells on this guy. Living for the text drama! Yes! Thanks for the links, you guys are the real heroes. The quality of women in this group is so beyond the quality of men, I just can't get past it. I'd be at the bar asking Wells if he and Sarah are in the market for a third. In fact, I've never been attracted to Chris Bukowski (active hate at some points, even), but he is looking good in this group... which is... concerning. What's happening here? Is it because he's in his 30s? Nostalgia for a bygone era? His sexy walker in the opening credits? I'm so confused. I need some time to think.

Easily the creepiest thing in this premiere was Cam not once, but three times, mentioning motherhood in reference to dating these women (well... not that I actually see him dating any of them). "Looking for the mother of my child", "looking for the woman who will make my mom a grandmother", and saying- right after the FIRST conversation he had with one of the ladies- "she'd be great at motherhood" or something equally cringey. Go away! These women want hot hookups and Internet fame, not to become an incubator. The editors are the best. I think my favorite thing they did this episode was that slow jazzy "John Paul Jones" tune they played over a slow-mo of a JPJ hair flip. Dylan was sweet and Hannah is going to rip his poor little heart out. Blake is SO unattractive, I can't even fathom why these beautiful women would want anything to do with him... and that's not even taking into account his dickish behavior. Even his stage 5 clinger crying on Becca's season should have warned them away. I don't like Caelynn either though so seeing her all in a tizzy over this situation is pretty fun. Has she even tried speaking to another guy yet? What is she doing there? I love Kristina and find her unbelievably gorgeous so I really hope she does blow up Blake's shit on this date. She seems funny and like a great catch so I'm disappointed to hear she even slept with him in the first place.

It's not my personal style of lingo, but yep, lots of females especially in their 20s use it to compliment other women.

The worst part of watching this show a day late and catching up on these boards a day later than that is that you guys cover everything before I get here! I'm firmly on board with those who think Luke deserved everything he got. His insistence that Hannah didn't know what she actually wanted and HE knew she was in love with him and he knew she made a mistake... it was infuriating. Her moving the rose pedestal and Tyler jumping in telling him not to tell Hannah how she thinks or feels were just fantastic. (Also, Tyler's "or what" when Luke told Jed to back off was hot... but also, fuck you too, Jed). Luke is also so dumb you could practically see the rusty wheels trying to turn in his head during his 5 minute pauses following pretty simple questions- and ones he should have expected and prepared for beforehand. The only credit I'll give him this season is that he truly did seem to try to defuse the situation with the guys in the house, but a lot of that was just more backtracking which is his specialty. "Let me start over" was basically his motto this season. JPJ was actually hilarious! Although my friend yelled out, "No, stop! She's a witch!" when that crazy girl came down to cut a lock of his hair. Where do they find these people? The bloopers scene of him practicing "yaaas, queeen" to accept his rose at the ceremony was my favorite thing at the MTA. Mike for Bachelor (if we don't get Tyler).

Totally forgot they work in construction. That makes it pretty plausible. I wish they would just film in everybody's real homes or be transparent about it so we didn't have to wonder. Thanks!

I usually find hometowns to be the least interesting week of the show. It's all so formulaic (even moreso than the rest of the season) and most of the conversations go exactly the same. A few things though: They must have rented out that house for Tyler's family, right? He took Hannah to his old house on the water and said they lost it due to the recession. The new house his family was in looked MUCH flashier than the old one which seems a bit odd if they had to give up the old one for financial reasons. I really loved that Tyler's dad told him he thought he might be in love, and Tyler, clearly caring not at all about his "journey" in that moment, immediately deflected the statement and focused right in on his dad's health instead. Boy's got his priorities straight. Definitely Team Tyler (for next Bachelor). I thought it was super cringeworthy that Hannah kept cutting off the guys in front of their families as they started to speak so she could tell the stories in her own words. And I generally like Hannah. I was shocked Peter got a rose! I think he's the best choice for Hannah, but she's too blinded by her chemistry with the douche duo to notice. The less said about Luke's self-congratulatory prayer circle the better. I couldn't get enough of Jed's date though. The shameless self-promotion! He finds a way to work it into every episode! His family trying to drive Hannah away from their fame-whoring, cheating, jobless son! Jed calling Luke a scumbag with no sense of irony! So hilarious. I'd have watched a whole episode of that hometown.

This! Exactly! Tyler is naturally hot and their chemistry together is smooth and gets ME hot. Peter is so embarrassingly awkward. His clunky moves like pushing her down on the sauna bench (which he'd clearly been calculating doing in one motion- and failed- regardless of whether the timing was natural) and the arms jerkily groping up and down her body. Nah. Brings me right back to high school dating. He seems nice. But cringe. I tend to be a bit of an exhibitionist and would have LOVED naked bungee jumping. Anyone who wants to slut shame like Luke, get the fuck out. I've been through years of being labeled a slut for nothing more than wearing revealing clothes and enjoying making out with whoever I please (while single)... I once had a guy in high school point me out to my younger brother (unknowingly) and tell him I was the biggest slut in our school. I was a virgin. I didn't even know the guy. Luke reminds me of every asshole who treated me like I was trash when I was younger. Guys like Luke are the same guys who will monitor what you wear when you leave the house, accuse you of cheating when you go to a party without them, take your phone while you're in the shower and search for texts they think are incriminating, tell you they're leaving you because you "tricked them" into being with you when you say something they don't approve of, storm out of bars breaking things when you try to talk to them about concerns (once the gaslighting stops working)... I've been through all of it. Run, run far away. Run to a guy like Tyler who shrugs it off because he knows you're a confident woman and doesn't blow things out of proportion. There is nothing wrong with going natural (and they definitely had underwear on so it was pretty tame) and nothing wrong if it was sexual and nothing wrong if you just want to show off your banging tits. His backtracking just took him from "I'd be ashamed to introduce you to my parents" to "oh wait, I didn't let you explain that you weren't turned on doing it so I'll pretend it's acceptable." She sees right through his bullshit and explicitly said that even if it was sexual, he has no right to judge, but his whole "being misunderstood" argument painted him in a bad light regardless of how he tried to rework it. She says she just wants him to be 100% himself all the time, but what she can't seem to grasp is that he IS being 100% himself and she just doesn't like the person he is. Fuck that guy.

I like Hannah so much. I'm surprised to see I'm in the minority, but yeah, the guys were acting like they were in junior high and I would have told them off too. I also would have kicked Garrett out then and there for being a shit stirrer. She flat out told him that she had asked situational questions that required names to come up, and he went back and immediately told the guys Luke was dropping names on his date. Whatever, dude. My favorite moment (thank you, editors!) was at the rose ceremony when Garrett's talking head went "I feel like this was mostly my fault" and then immediate cut to Luke's talking head going, "This was 100% Garrett's fault." Dying.

Aw, I lived in Inverness for a year in 2016 and this was so nostalgic! It's such a small city so I recognized just about everywhere they went- so glad they visited Leakey's Bookshop because it's adorable. I'm glad Hannah and Mike looked like they were genuinely enjoying the area. I also got a kick out of them using subtitles for the Scottish man running the Highland Games. And I sure do love men in kilts. Loved that Tyler kept his on for the evening portion of the date. It's definitely Garrett! They share a lot of physical similarities (although I was way more attracted to one F Jef). Me! He's too hot to fly under my radar. He wears suits very well, and I like his face. I am endlessly entertained by Luke's dead eyes when anyone is speaking to him. I love that they sat him and Mike down (as Mike clearly can't stand the guy) in the most unnatural conversation setting and forced them to chat. I especially cracked up when Hannah started ranting on their walk to the castle and was turned entirely facing away from him just monologuing at the hillside while he stared at her back. Watching Hannah attempting a conversation with Luke was TIRING. All he needed to do to appease her was go, "Spaghetti! What about you? What's your favorite meal? Hooters is my favorite restaurant. I feel sad when the other guys are mean to me. I have a terrible relationship with my father. I get what you're saying about owning my flaws, and coincidentally I have a basement full of bodies at home" and so on.

So, do you guys want to go in on a group application for a Tyler Bachelor season, or...? Honestly, I loved his intro video in the first episode dancing around like a sexy fool. My friend and I have been yelling for him to bust out some Footloose moves ever since. On the other hand, I don't actually see it there with him and Hannah. I also laugh watching her try to respond to his sexual banter. Dude is smooth and has lines for days, but they're witty and articulate. I don't actually think from a purely physical standpoint that he's THAT good looking (Devin gets my vote for most attractive face although he gets approximately .5 seconds of screen time per episode), but his swagger and attitude and conversation put him to the top as the hottest guy on this show. I was legit mad watching him roll on top of Hannah wearing a kilt in the previews because UGH. Too many sexual feelings. Hannah's a lucky bitch!

Haha it was the way he said it, ok?! I got all caught up! Oh and then he said something sexual about tasting good...? Whatever it was, I was all about it. I don't know, I'm on the Tyler hype train, I don't even care.

I really love Hannah. She's standing up for herself and calling the shots instead of letting her contestants dictate how things are going on her season. This is what I was hoping for when she was eliminated on the Bachelor and strongly stated in the limo that she wanted a man who would fight for her (as opposed to the usual crying about what might have gone wrong). I also am constantly blown away by how good she looks in her clothes this season! I'm tacky myself but I loved her dark red rose ceremony dress with the heavy necklace. She sent home hot Joey, but hot Devin is still there so ok. I also am hopelessly attracted to Tyler. I almost checked out when he said all he knows about pregnancy is that the woman gets bigger and hungrier (...he was joking, I hope...), but then he gave Hannah that speech about how women should run the world and he sees how strong she is and would be happy just to be her arm candy and I was ready to jump him again. I also find Grant really attractive for some reason. And I'm only 30 (well, ancient by Bachelor standards) so it's not because he looks middle-aged. For Hannah, I like her with Connor (he's young but so is she). Peter the Pilot seems like a nice guy but I can't get over the Ben Higgins vibes.

Oh I'm so glad you mentioned this (and filled me in on his name because I've been calling him the unemployed hot dog guy). I liked him in the premiere too when he showed up with mustard like he was about to start a barbecue in the backyard. He just seems like someone I want to hang out with and is actually kind of cute.

Since Hannah has terrible taste in men, I'm picking them out for myself. My final 4 is Joey (like seriously where was this guy last week? He was this hot Italian looking guy on the roller derby date with, like, one line all episode), Devin- another hot guy with no screentime except I think he was the one with Hannah when Cam interrupted, Mike (hot, great snark this ep), and Tyler C, the dancing dude who has a ton of confident swagger. He reminds me of the cool guy in an 80s movie. Cam looks like a skeevier Evan Bass. Luke is just horrible and reminds me of every asshole jock that I went to high school with that can get away with murder because they know how to turn on the charm. Edited: Apparently I thought one of my final 4 was named something else entirely. It's true love.

I really liked Hannah! I'm excited for her season. She has a personality and I personally think she's gorgeous and looked fantastic in her dress last night. It's been a long time since I actively liked a Bachelorette, so this will be fun. My favorites so far are Mike (although my friend and I couldn't get over his sculpted eyebrows- why do they look like that??) and the young, tall guy she kissed (they were cute together). There's one guy that kind of looks like Jef Holm who I found attractive. This is probably the first season I've struggled so much to remember the guys, hopefully more of them click next week! The enthusiasm Box Guy Joe showed for boxes in his intro clip cracked me up. Ah I felt horrible for poor Chasen, the cute pilot, who came out and gave her a paper airplane only to be followed by Peter the pilot who busts out of the limo in his uniform like a damn superhero. Hilarious but I was hoping Chasen would still get a rose. I fear if I was on this show I would hand out a lot of pity roses for the first few weeks as well (like to sweet Matt Donald). I hated Luke, and his intro package was so amusingly cheesy. It looks like he may come out as one of the villains of the season though which I can only hope for, as (assuming Hannah doesn't choose him) it would also break the cycle of Bachelorettes picking their first impression rose as their final guy. That one guy who met Hannah on the after show (other Luke maybe?) looks like an early draft rendering of Nick Viall. The Windows 2000 version of Nick Viall before graphics improved. So I did think Scott was an ass and no great loss, but... is it really so bad if you've got someone you were casually hooking up with before this show? I mean, let's say this girl didn't consider the relationship to be serious, and he wasn't actually planning on dating her at any point. So what if you were still screwing around with someone when you hadn't even met Hannah yet? I guess I just didn't see it as a huge deal. Didn't Arie break up with his girlfriend like a week before his Bachelor season started filming?

Aside from the piss poor lack of setup, I liked this. If there had been any proper storytelling or decent execution to Dany's mental break, I think this would have actually been fantastic. As the show as gone about it though, it looks like we watched an overall good-hearted person despite some arrogance and ruthlessness snap because she showed up in a new country for a few weeks and people didn't love her yet (and her nephew doesn't want to sleep with her now that he's found out they're related). It was a bullshit setup and that's why the "payoff" just seems out of left field. And for show Jaime, I feel like this was a fitting end. He was a morally grey character and may have outgrown Cersei in a lot of ways, but it was well established that he ALWAYS loved her. His last line that nothing matters except for them is the encapsulation of their relationship. I see that this is an unpopular opinion, but I loved their romantic ending. We don't always get the perfect revenge or payoff. Bad people are still human. And Cersei's death wasn't the point of the series. (ETA: I would also think those who wanted to see Cersei suffer would have found that vengeance in seeing how utterly terrified she was for the first time in the whole series. Any other death, especially by murder, would likely have not had that payoff. You see her fully realize fear and the life she could have had in her final moments.) I had basically written off the show last week, but ignoring the absolutely unearned heel turn for Dany (and the death of Varys who is more brilliant than he's been written recently and whom I've always loved), I'm back on board for the finale. I still think the writing sucks and D&D have made a travesty of the whole thing, but the acting has been top notch this season, and the cinematography this episode was stunning. The cuts between the Hound and Arya and the camera panning down those narrow alleyways as Arya ran were unreal. Tyrion/Jaime had a heartbreaking goodbye. I am actually interested to see what the hell they're doing to wrap this up next week.