jade.black

I think we all need a Canadian with a cocktail watching our foreplay and going, "You guys are getting freaky pretty quick, eh?" Seriously, said it during Jojo's season but Daniel is such comedic value. Why am I not at all surprised that the twins are the only two that met his "high standards"? I know he was a total dick about the women, but he's just so not the least bit self-aware, I can't take him seriously. I like that he's the only one who isn't afraid of Chad and is willing to try to talk him down. As much as people made comments about whether Chad was an actual human though, it's Daniel who seems like some kind of weird AI robot. And that accent cracks me up. Chad... most of the night comes down to being blackout drunk. I wonder how much he even remembers. Obviously that doesn't give him a pass for talking about murdering people, but if they had cut him off like any respectable person would have, I don't think it would have gotten even nearly as out of hand. He was fine earlier on and complimented all the women, but he fell apart after being fed alcohol. And Lace, while I respect that she walked away later on, was also clearly smashed and did reciprocate the hitting and name-calling between making out. She had a line but he didn't know where it was. I really hope that Chad gets professional help. I felt bad for him the following morning as well with his confusion over what was happening but mostly when he told Chris Harrison "I have nothing in my life." That's probably the saddest thing I've ever heard anyone on this show say. That being said, I can't believe they're encouraging him to come back again. CH and these producers are so full of shit. They don't care about a safe environment or the mental health of him or anyone else on the show. As Chad said- fuck you, Chris Harrison. I'm also sick of the twin gimmick and don't know why they can't allow them to be two separate people. They straight up said they wanted to date different guys, so how can they do that if the show is forcing them to come as a package deal? I'd also LIKE to know who they are as individuals as I THINK Haley seems slightly brighter and more likable, but it's hard to tell when they rarely label them, and it pissed me off when one of them was giving a talking head and the caption said "Haley or Emily" as if they didn't clearly know who they were interviewing. So help me, I've always been a Nick Viall fan. Out of this bunch so far, he would be the one I'd go after (although Wells hasn't shown up yet- I'm hoping he redeems himself after TMTA). Nick's got some sex appeal and intelligence. Plus I think he likes to gossip, and who doesn't like gossip? Jared is so ridiculously boring. Where is the appeal?! He looks like a rat and seems to have zero interest in any women on these shows. He comes off as totally asexual, which is fine, but I wish he'd stop being a drain on this show. The only purpose he serves is being fodder for Ashley's crazy.

Haha maybe it's me who watches too much Game of Thrones! I couldn't bring myself to rewatch the finale and find out for sure, but whatever phrasing he kept using, it sounded equally as awkward ("get on a knee?" Can't remember). Anyway he sure seemed like he was gathering the courage to marry a Lannister and secure the Iron Throne (aka his image) or something, so maybe my brain got confused.

As insincere as her F2 both were, at least Robby put some effort into it. He said all the right things and actually had me wondering if he was in love with her (especially because he used ATFR to probe about her relationship and if she still pictured a future together rather than pitch a Bachelor audition). Jordan could barely put two heartfelt words together. I can't be the only one who noticed how long he hesitated after Soraya asked him to promise not to break Jojo's heart! That's exactly what I look like when someone asks me a question I know I can't answer truthfully! Then he shook his head no as he was saying "absolutely." Body language. He was there for a good time and probably would have been happy to date casually, but Jojo made it clear she expected a proposal (and the show, for that matter, doesn't really allow open-ended finales anymore which is a shame) and he looked terrified. Every time he said "bend the knee" it sounded like a death sentence. Jojo was throwing a fit that Robby was so obviously the right choice (well, between those two anyway) when she just wanted someone to tell her Jordan was her heaven-sent soulmate. So much denial! Her dad came back crying with emotion after Robby asked for his blessing, and Jojo's response was, "You can see how much THESE TWO guys love me, huh?" The only time I sympathized with Jordan a little was when Chris Harrison absolutely would not let his personal family life stay private. The way he completely avoided the question the first time should have been enough to tell CH not to push it. Jojo is boring and I am right there with everyone who cringed at her use of the word "weary" instead of "wary", but she looked the best I've seen her at ATFR. That was a great dress and hairstyle. But I am so glad this season is over. Like, so, so glad. We all know the most important reason to watch the Bachelor(ette) anyway is to familiarize ourselves with the BiP cast! Bring on that premiere!

This show needs moved to a different network... or new writers. That long, drawn-out triangle just dropped everything right back to where it was at the start, with Lucas and Riley together, so what was the point?! Josh, who seems like a cute, well-spoken guy, should have a million prospects at college being in his freshman year, but he's going to make "someday" promises with a high school freshman? Nope. Maya, and none of the kids for that matter, need to be handed everything they want, and the writers are being lazy and infuriating. I'm having trouble buying the hard sell of Maya's "tough life" when it seems whatever she desires is handed to her on a platter. The kind of behavior she's exhibited in relation to Josh shouldn't be rewarded, and maybe it would have just been better for her to have actually liked Lucas as well and let one of the girls ended up hurt. It would have been a far more interesting dynamic to explore than this lame fantasy-land where the kids deal with no serious issues. This is not what BMW was about.

Obviously I don't know Chad and we haven't seen a whole lot of him with women outside of Jojo, but if I remember correctly from the season, he always treated her just fine and none of his anger or violence was directed at her. It seems more like he has issues with other men. He had nothing but glowing things to say about both Hope and Jen (Robby and Grant's exes) at the Men Tell All, and seems a lot kinder when talking to and about women. In fact, he was critical of Robby and Grant for breaking up with their girlfriends to do the show. Even when he addressed Jojo, he insulted her final 2 but not her personally. Also if he had a great relationship with his mother, that says something. I'm not trying to defend violent tendencies and he's not someone I'd ever date in real life (although a makeout session wouldn't be off the table, ha), but we haven't seen any evidence of him having issues with women. Like you said, guess we'll find out on BIP!

Yes I loved that. Chad had great lines tonight, cracked up at "I'm Derek and I'm super sensitive." My Wells crush has faded a little even though I still think he was the best looking and possibly brightest of the bunch. He came off really attention-seeking and pretentious in TMTA. I actually might be looking forward to him paired with Ashley I though as I've always liked her despite her immaturity and emotional issues. She's really pretty, says some intelligent things, and has great bikinis. Plus, anything to get her to stop whining about Jared who (sorry) has a hideous face. Chad, on the other hand, is just endless comedy. I so appreciate him breaking the conventions of the show and saying whatever truth he wants too. YES Jordan and Robby are both insincere and YES most of those guys are there to promote themselves. Who else has ever walked onto the set and said those things out loud? They play it off as villainous behaviour, but it's so refreshing. Not to mention Chad has the best smile, facial hair, and suit game of all of them. Glad to see kilt guy back and still wearing a kilt. He should have made it past the first week. The end tail where they're talking about the flower nicknames just reminded me how badly I wanted Ali to stick around. His descriptions of all the guys as flowers done in macho gangster voice was amazing!

No way Jojo chose to send Luke home before fantasy suites on her own. That had to be producer-driven... right? You want bland Chase and effeminate Robby in the sack before sexy Luke? (Not to say anything of sleazy Jordan but we know he's THE ONE until he cheats on her a month after the show ends.) Or does she just know for sure that she won't sleep with either of the other two guys and wants to avoid an Andi type ATFR situation? Wait where did all of this Robby love come from?! She's IN love with Robby... since when? Since the producers needed to make one of the other contestants seem like an actual possibility I guess? I do like that he's calling her Joelle. It actually makes her seem more attractive somehow. I wish we could institute more no-kissing dates and get actual conversations instead. Jojo probably looked the best I've seen her on that hiking date, but as I've said, she could do with pulling her hair back more often. Although then I think that rose ceremony dress is the best outfit I've seen her in, so that probably would have won if she'd gotten that hair out of her face. Luke wins major points for no tears. On the other hand, if there's one thing I hate most on these Bachelorette shows, it's when the girl goes running after the guy bawling and begging for his forgiveness after unceremoniously dumping him on national TV. SPEAKING OF, she does the same thing to the extreme with poor Chase! She spends all this time wanting him to open up and say he loves her, then the second, and I mean literally the second that he does she decides it's over. He was totally right to shut her down and tell her that was a blindside. If she didn't want these guys to be blindsided then she shouldn't have been encouraging them so much. And then just leave him alone! Let him go process his thoughts in peace! Guys don't want to sit and cry with you after you've broken their heart. Chase just surpassed Luke in points by not only skipping the tears but also cracking that beer as he jumped in the van. Nope, wait, never mind. He just lost all those points again coming back to apologize to Jojo which she totally did not deserve. Did the producers refuse to pay for his flight home unless he went back to build up their innocent, flawless lead or something? Ugh, the way she smiled when she realized he was forgiving her and offering himself up as a future option. Looks like there's no more negative feelings on her part for dumping him now that she's in the clear. Now she's crying again because SHE still likes HIM, not because he was totally in love with her and she crushed him. Chris Harrison is phoning it in!! He asked both those guys questions before the rose ceremony looking like he could not give two shits about the answers. He can barely force inflection into his voice anymore. When was the last time he sat down and interviewed the lead? Is he just in it for the free vacations these days? He actually looks like Michael Ian Black's parody as the host on Burning Love. For once I wonder what it would have been like with Caila as lead just to see what the F4 might have looked like. There was so much potential in the original group and THIS is what it came down to. The only good thing to come out of this season might be Luke as next Bachelor. Oh wait. And there was Chad. I can't believe I'm saying this, but... Robby seems like the better choice here...?!

Time waster episode. It absolutely DOES matter who Lucas has chosen. Since they both like him, it's actually the only thing that still matters in putting the stupid triangle to death. I hope they don't have Riley fall for ski lodge boy and back out to make it a clean decision for Lucas and Maya to be together. There's no impact in that. More Farkle and Zay please! I think I say this every time! You've got two cute and interesting guys there and the girls are wasting years of their life on bland Lucas.

Jojo points out a photo of Aaron on the wall at Jordan's high school. She notices that Jordan clearly does not want to talk about. The second they sit down on the bleachers outside, she asks about Aaron, whether she can talk about him all throughout their hometown date. Jordan very clearly states that it is not a topic that needs to be brought up. Jojo sits down with his brother Luke and proceeds to bring up Aaron straightaway. He immediately shuts her down too. She then settles for mentioning Aaron in every talking head since it's clearly killing her inside that nobody wants to discuss the famous brother with her. I was actually shocked she was going to cut Luke. I thought he was F2 for sure (although obviously not The Chosen One). Instead it looks like we get a F3 of floppy-haired clones, although I've warmed up to Chase since he just seems so damaged but normal. I liked his brief conversation with his sister because they seemed like real siblings aware of the weird situation (enjoyed when she sarcastically thanked him for this experience). Luke's hometown was really romantic I thought, but then again I love the country. At least now he has a better chance at the Bachelor spot I guess. They can run some Men Tell All stoic but strong through heartbreak interview with him and all will be right in The Bachelor world. I did laugh at the cowboy-ness of it all when Luke's sweet dad started tearing up despite himself while talking to him and Luke stared hard at him, gave him a flat "I love you", and then patted him to get up (aka pull himself together). Also burst out laughing when they replayed Chad's "milk's delicious" line on the Men Tell All preview. Just gold.

I watch on a different site with various links (it can be hard to access American videos overseas). Not sure why it was available already, usually episodes don't appear until after they've aired. That's why I thought it had already been on, oops.

I'm so sorry! I'm in Europe at the minute and watch the episodes online, I had no idea it hadn't actually aired yet. I'll be more careful in the future!

I'm getting flashbacks of a Shawn episode from Boy Meets World where Mr. Turner intervenes, except this episode just reminded me how much more realistic that scene was compared to this poor, diluted retread. Maya was basically acting like a child for the entire first half of the episode threatening to do something "bad" just to prove how "bad" she still is. I suppose teenagers can actually be like that, but I felt more like smacking her than having any kind of sympathy for the situation. Even the girls who showed up in the park were like caricatures. For once I actually liked Riley! Lucas has grown on me a lot too (I like every time Farkle points out that all he has going for him is his face), but I did miss Zay. And I haven't watched a Disney show since my own preteen years (Lizzie Mcguire era), so I'm not sure if this is the norm, but do they all have subplots involving young (like very young) kids? I mean, I'm definitely not watching to see a 3 year old getting in trouble for stealing candy or a 1st grade romance, and I can't imagine that the preteen audience is interested in that sort of story either. I wish they'd aged up Auggie and his friends to be just a couple years younger than Riley (or kept around Cory's youngest brother to be sort of an older sibling figure instead). Topanga is so much better than these plotlines.

Jojo, walking into the room on the group date: You guys talking about me? Luke: I think it helped a lot with human psychology too because you kind of learn to be perceptive. Jojo: Can you read me? Alex: I can rap anything. Give me something to rap. Jojo: Jojo. If you pay attention, you can see that what Jojo really likes to talk about is Jojo. And... that's about all I've got on this episode. Except maybe that Robby, despite having atrocious hair and seeming like sort of a slimeball from media coverage about his ex, can stick around a little longer if he's going to walk around in Calvin Klein boxers every episode.

Riley's message to Maya was basically, "You haven't acted out in school and had detention in awhile which is what defines you as a person." Then, instead of the parents congratulating that as maturity, everyone else joined in acting like Maya growing up a little was her losing her identity. Can we switch the focus to Farkle and Zay and just lose the girls altogether? They both are so grating. I only started watching this because of BMW and for some reason keep holding out hope that it will turn into that.

This is always the part of the season when I start getting really bored. There's too little to fill the time, the interesting guys are all gone, and the end is usually already telegraphed. Jojo needs to stop falling all over Jordan as soon as he gives her the slightest bit of affirmation. It's getting pathetic. Jordan really pissed me off when Jojo was expressing her concerns to him (all but saying, "I want to be engaged to YOU at the end of this") and he gave her this little smile and hair brush like, aw aren't you cute, while completely ignoring her questions. And I wish he'd stop biting his lip. He's off-putting and I don't like him. Derek was sweet but boring, although Chase is also boring. I shouldn't be surprised Jojo chose him, because he seems to fit her "type" and seems less into her. Of course she wouldn't want the guy who has made it clear that she has him! Luke is the only one left that I really like, although it would be good to see more humor from him (there have been a few small moments). James comes off as likable and fun but is obviously not in the running, Alex has a nice face but is an aggressive drama queen, and the rest are blah. Jojo looked totally caught off guard when he asked her that. You could tell that she'd much rather be talking about herself, and if the conversation had no relation to her then she wasn't interested. Wanting to know about his last relationship might relate to her present situation, so that's what she asked. Wells is so cute and well-spoken. Unfortunately you know as soon as a guy starts talking about anything semi-interesting, real, and off-script that they're a goner. Their date looked like a lot of fun. I wouldn't have waited this long for him to kiss me, I'd have gone in for that long ago! Oh well, I'm now following him on Twitter so we're probably on the path to marriage.

WELL I started crying as soon as Lolly asked Healy if they'd managed to travel back in time. Her innocent obliviousness and Healy's repressed tears were too much. Thanks for breaking my heart, OitNB.

That shot of Jojo and Jordan making out while the rest of the guys were sitting on the other side of the wall is the screenshot to sum up the season. I don't like Jordan. He doesn't seem that into it, doesn't really seem as nice as he tries to put off, and it's painful watching Jojo falling all over him. "Best date of her life" wasn't anything more than the other dates she's been on except that it was with Jordan. Also it annoys me how he looks away and laughs anytime someone confronts him (Chad, Derek, etc.) Also I hate Jordan's hair. Hate it. I want to cut it all off, and not in a creepy Daniel sex-based way. I like them addressing tabloid rumors. It brings more reality into the show (even if the magazines just "showing up" did not). Jojo isn't a pretty crier, but she looked better with her hair swept to the side. Maybe she and Jordan do belong together. I just want to fix both their hairstyles. She and Robby seemed like an actual couple during their date. Or at least actual friends. That place they had dinner was so cute. And she side-parted her hair! I can now tell Robby apart from Chase, but I've realized that as soon as Chase is off the screen I cannot remember what his face looks like. It just melts into a haze of blandness. Poor Derek! He didn't even do anything to turn those guys against him. Alex was a dick. He seemed more annoyed that Derek confronted them while having a rose, as if nothing else should be allowed to bother him if he already had Jojo's weekly approval, as if guys are only allowed to be upset if they don't have validation from her. In reality, what Derek was upset about had nothing to do with Jojo, and he had every right to tactfully bring them away from the group to discuss it. I thought I couldn't love Wells any more than I did and then he stood up for Derek instead of joining the gang-mentality. Did anyone catch what she said to Vinny? I wasn't aware that they had ever interacted, but she seemed to be personal with him during their goodbye. Evan is the worst. When he asked Chad for money for a new shirt, I was actually hoping Chad might punch him in the face. Jojo is boring. I'm just hoping for an awesome implosion of this season concerning Jordan and that the end might actually turn out to not be predictable.

I take it Piper is meant to come off as delusional and out of touch? I was going to be ok with her storyline if it's her walking around thinking she's some badass gangster bitch while nobody else takes her seriously, but if the new inmates actually treat her like a boss then I won't enjoy watching it. Alex had the most interesting episode. The guy not being dead when she went back was creepy. I cringed at the body mutilation, but I like the greenhouse lady (can't remember the character's name). Not sure if Papa Roach was the right song choice there, however. Poussay is adorable. Excited to see screentime for her and Soso.

Thanks! Not sure if BIP casting info counts as a spoiler, but

Nooo not Ali!! Jojo clearly does not share my taste in men. What a loss. Wait, who is Robby?! Isn't that Chase? Is there another set of twins on this show? And does anyone else think he looks like Woody Harrelson or is it just me? I wanted to make out with Luke after that monologue as well. Don't think I've ever been so interested in what a contestant was saying. He is super hot, and I loved the wooden hot tub date, but I don't think Jojo is deep enough for him. I also think that the Bachelor gig may not interest him, but I'd love to see it anyway because those girls would be losing it. Ugh, she's definitely a sporty type. These athletic dates bore me. Definitely calling Jordan as her F1, they seem like a couple already. Plus she keeps chasing him for validation during their talks. Oh man, Wells seriously gets better looking every week. Plus he has a sense of humor which also keeps him one up on Luke. Just hope she keeps him around at least until F5 or 6 and then he goes home and somehow he gets my number. Luke, Jordan, and Chase are definitely making it to hometowns. Ha, that end tag. "That'd be weird." Please stick around, Daniel. "I'm not gonna instigate this," says Alex, as he instigates it. But he did win points with me when I saw his adorable USA socks. Chad is just a junior high boy who never grew out of being too cool for school and making juvenile threats to meet on the playground to assert his masculinity to the other boys. He doesn't know how to relate to men that aren't juiceheads, but he doesn't really know how to talk to women either. He's almost shy with Jojo sometimes. He just overall lacks social skills. I actually hope he finds a good therapist and more importantly, a really good friend. I'm genuinely worried for him as a person but also worried for anyone who crosses his path. Do not at all think he's a producer plant, he's too off the rails. I almost thought at the start of that date when they showed the wildlife clips it might end with a Revenant like showdown between Chad and that bear. "Well you should. Milk's delicious." Laughing so hard. How can someone switch from scary to hilarious so quickly?

Did you see her brothers last season?! Yes, that is probably what she means exactly. I would like to think that Jojo just gave Evan that rose to see how Chad would react, and I really enjoyed her telling him off in front of the group afterwards. Reminded me of Emily standing up to Kalon or whatever his name was. And for a SECOND time she turned away Chad trying to interrupt her conversation with someone! Yes! On the other hand, everyone was thinking what Chad was saying. No way is she attracted to Evan. I don't even particularly like to look at him. He reminds me of some of the nerdier characters played by DJ Qualls, except without any looks or charm whatsoever. That first date has to be the most awkward one ever, even worse than the similar one Chris and Carly went on, although Jojo and Chase handled it better. Why doesn't Jojo wear her hair up more often?! She looks so much better with it pulled away from her face! That vintage look totally suits her too. Maybe it's the middle part she usually has that doesn't work for her? James seemed like a good choice for that date. That was the best one this episode (although that's not a high bar). The retro swing dancing looked like so much fun and sitting on the car actually was a really romantic idea. Can that little old dance teacher please be the next Bachelorette? I actually like listening to and telling sex stories, but who could possibly feel comfortable doing that in front of cameras when their parents and everyone they know will see the clips on TV? My ultra-religious parents would disown me. Hated the open with the orgasm girl before they knew what was happening, I was thinking those were two of the most awkward dates back to back. Did anyone catch that small snippet of conversation between Jojo and Christian where she was saying "I love that you call me...?" I think she was saying that he calls her Joelle instead of Jojo, which, I wish everyone would. Really enjoyed Chad being momentarily distracted from his rage by his own reflection. Did someone point out that Daniel looks like a Twilight reject? Because now it's all I can see. His accent went so full Canadian during that conversation with Chad! I also laughed at his booty pop while working out. Bahaha Chad was staring at Daniel during that Hitler conversation and wishing he had picked a different sidekick. Everyone loves watching Chad but I think Daniel might be the real comedic value here. Hate to jump on the bandwagon, but Wells has moved up the ranks past Luke to my #1 spot. He's just so cute! Major crush (minus whatever he was doing at the tail end of his sex story, I'm going to pretend that didn't happen). Although on a background crush note, can we get more screen time for Ali please?

I just realized that Wells looks like a Franco brother with that smile and his eyes, and so he has gained a million attractiveness points in my book. Luke is still the sexiest one there and looks like an excellent kisser on top of that, but I saw a few red flags. Too jealous of the other guys getting time at the nighttime group date way too early on. There were some great dates in this episode! The choose your own adventure one was really fun. I then thought the snow machine mini-date was the best one I've seen at a cocktail party, UNTIL I watched the tag at the end and saw Christian with the bathtub. Awesome. I loved Alex hopping up on that gigantic chair. Jordan looked like a 50s greaser at that group date with the hair and the leather jacket. I was happy that James Taylor (that's who it was, right?) read his poem to Jojo instead of singing it. Do guys really want to hear the girl they are after say that the love she's looking for is the kind that her ex-boyfriend has found? I mean... sort of weird, right? I did appreciate her telling Chad "one second" though when he came to interrupt one of her conversations. That doesn't happen often. Chad is such a creep and ultimate douche, but he did make me laugh a few times. I loved him still shoving meat in his face at the rose ceremony. I don't think we've ever seen a contestant eating more than drinking at a cocktail party. I also really enjoyed his finger-snapping West Side Story enactment. Also his commentary during the rose ceremony and the look of confusion as he scanned the group to find out who Christian was when his name was called. Poor awkward Daniel has no friends so has joined up as Chad's sidekick. I think Chad just likes having someone who will nod and agree with his nonsensical opinions about nice guys and protein shakes. Obviously his theory is that if the immediate impression people have is of him being a dick, he can only pleasantly surprise them from there. His strategy seems to be giving Jojo no unearned praise so she needs to work for him.

Alright, I'm officially joining up so that I can comment on this Bachelorette season... what is my life? I feel that they usually don't gather up a great looking group of guys, or maybe my type is just opposite of what this show is looking for. (Notable exception would be Emily's final 2 of Ari and Jef, it doesn't get much better than that.) Jojo has a few standouts, but she seems to be looking straight past them to ex-jock Jordan. I don't understand the appeal of athletes. Andi was the same. If I was filling out a preference sheet it would be like, "into video games," "reads books," and "won't try to get me to work out with them." Totally agree that Jordan looks like Shawn Booth but marginally better, not that it's saying much. They both had the poofy hair and eyes that are too close together. I absolutely loved the Chinese/Scottish guy in the kilt! He seemed fun and cute and joked around. Also, what kind of problem do these guys have that they're insulting a cultural outfit?! My boyfriend is from Scotland and is so hot in his kilt, which, by the way, he wears to any formal event. I attended a wedding with him in Scotland last year and 95% of the men there were in kilts. They're manly and traditional. I feel embarrassed at the lack of cultural awareness. Also couldn't believe Jojo sent him home over Daniel the awkward Canadian (couldn't handle that conversation about the Internet), Vinny the drunk who seemed legitimately angry when Santa got a rose, and the erectile dysfunction dude. So my two favorites left are Luke and Ali. Luke is easily the sexiest one there, he's got that quiet demeanor and a really attractive voice, plus he works on a ranch with animals all day. Ali was adorable and so talented and sweet. I would have fallen all over myself if he was teaching me to play the piano. I almost thought Chad was attractive for a millisecond when he got out of the limo, then his talking heads (coupled with the other guys' comments about height and kilts) reminded me that men are even more dickish towards each other than the women on the Bachelor. Ugh, Jake. "Go with your gut." Um, Jake, I'm pretty sure your gut told you to choose the horrendous Vienna over Tenley, and we all know how that turned out.