TimetravellingBW

Ah, ok it wasn't as long as I thought. I just remember listening to them cram stuff into every hour (even if it was only one day in NY and some of it was just go to the movies 3 times in a row) and being like "haven't you just spent months going out?!" But that's a general thing I find with the amount Rory and Lorelai manage to do in their lives: They're far more energetic and busy than I'd expect with the jobs/school they allegedly have going on. Honestly, between being at the centre of every town festival, attending every town meeting, their movie marathons, Friday Night Dinners, spending multiple early mornings/afternoons at Luke's, hanging out their boyfriends, Lorelai's business classes in early seasons, Rory's various extra-circulars and excessive book reading, I don't know how the pair manage to be the outstanding Inn Manager/Valedictorian student we're told they are. I've just concluded they must be those lucky people who only need to sleep a few hours a night or something. (Though to be fair the show wouldn't be that entertaining if it was just them working and studying).

This might be a personal opinion thing, but it drives me crazy that when Lorelai and Rory get back from Europe in s4 they immediately start planning a jam packed week and want to do a bunch of sightseeing in New York. (And then are horrified when they can't do it because Rory starts Yale earlier than she thought). Seriously, after a massive 3-month backpacking trip, doing non-stop tourist stuff and travelling from country to country the last thing most people want to do is do touristy stuff in their own country! You want to veg out in your own house and see someone other than the person you've been travelling with for the last however long.

I also liked Lucy and Olivia because it meant Rory made SOME friends at college and I didn't find them as annoying as a lot of people. But I agree s7 was too little too late for Rory to start expanding her social circle, especially as she didn't have much in common with L&O. There were much more natural chances for her to make friends in s5 or 6: On the paper, her suitemates, Marty's friends or even her joining a club or something. Yeah, by the end of the series there was something super...off with Rory's ability to socialize. Lane felt like a kind of lifelong friend who you keep in touch with more out of nostalgia - especially as they barely hung out in later seasons. With Paris it felt like she did most of the pushing for them to stay close and Rory was too must of a doormat to resist so just put up with her. Jess and Marty were kinda her making friends, but again they seemed to initiate it more and were clearly crushing on her the whole time. And then she took on Logan's LDB friends as her own - even though they were people she had almost nothing in common with. Tbh that guidance counselor at Chilton kind of had a point when she was worried about Rory social skills. (Especially as Rory's big I-Can-Make-Friends defense to Headmaster Charleston was that....she had one friend from kindergarten, a boyfriend and hung out with her mom all the time). From the beginning of the series she went into Chilton with no interest or motivation to actually get to know her classmates, which made her look like a snob. And from the brief glimpse of SHH she seemed to be the same there. And she carried that disinterest in almost anyone else into Yale. I know TV shows often have main characters with limited social circles compared to real life for logistical reasons, but it seemed problematic with Rory. Lorelai was genuinely friends with a ton of townsfolk (Sookie, Miss Patty, Babette, even Michel). Emily had a super-active social circle with all her society friends. Even Lane had the band, and seemed to socialize at school (cheerleading, marching band etc.) But Rory practically avoided engaging with anyone unless they came to her first. Partly because she's such a passive character but you also wonder how much having a ready-made, all-encompassing, rather-possessive best friend in her mom hampered her.

That's interesting spec and I'm curious at how they play out Rory's career arc. Personally I think it would be more realistic and fitting for her character to decide to settle down and become an English teacher at Chilton or something rather than become a hot shot foreign correspondent for the NY Times. Have her go "I've had my exciting, vagabond, exploring the world phase and now I want some stability, and as journalism is shrinking, how about I go back to my true passion of books." If they wrote it carefully it could be more her moving onto the next stage of her life rather than her giving up. Or even invoke some nice, full circle symmetry of the show beginning with Rory getting into Chilton and ending with her working there. And school like Chilton is so prestigious that working there would still be pretty impressive. But I feel ASP would see that as a let-down ending if Rory's big journalistic dreams come to nothing. And as discussed numerous times before there were plenty of points during the series when it was pretty obvious Rory didn't suit journalism - investigate/overseas journalism especially - but the show never once explored other options or possibilities for her. From the pilot to the final episode it was "I'm gonna be Christiane Amanpour". And unfortunately I don't see them changing that now, especially if Rory's spent the last however long pursuing that dream. Given how they've historically handed Rory everything, the show will probably end with her being awarded the Pulitzer. There could be a middle ground option: Rory doesn't become a journalistic star but does get a permanent, respectable journalism job, possibly near enough to SH to visit regularly, but not totally returning for good.

I think the only thing using photos/clips of Jess in promotion tells us is that the marketing guys and Netflix executives know that Jess/Milo is popular and think showing him will draw more people. I don't think it says anything about ASP's preference or her vision for the story. (I wouldn't even think she or her staff were the ones who put together the trailer? Wouldn't Netflix have done that and she just had a little input?) So I'm not going to get too hopeful about Jess or his chances with Rory. On that note I'm curious about how much influence Netflix had on the story. Did they push for certain things or were they totally hands off? Although there have been plenty of shows that meddling execs have damaged, part of me thinks ASP does need someone to counter balance her notoriously controlling tendencies and reluctance to take other people's ideas. They might steer her away from the stuff that was more unpopular in later seasons. I hope that Rory rather than Jess is working at the SH Gazette (and doesn't consider it a real job hence why "I have no job" or even that it's closing down because small town papers are struggling these days). I just can't see Jess being happy living in SH; he always seemed to be a big city guy and settling in small-town, judgemental Stars Hollow with people who practically got out their pitch forks when he first lived there seems out of character. And working at the SH Gazette would feel like a step down and less satisfying than his work at the publishing house and arts scene in Philly. But it would be nice if he'd made peace with SH and isn't at odds with the whole town. (I mean I'm sure Taylor still hates him but he could probably get on with some of them like Gypsy and Andrew). Jess being close to Luke and coming back to visit regularly while still writing/publishing/artsy-ing in a city (Philly, NY, Boston, wherever) would make sense. I can believe that Jess rather than Rory managed to survive in the struggling writing world, because he is much tougher and more independent than she is. Plus him succeeding would only add to her conflict and insecurity.

Logan did clearly expect/want Rory to go back to Yale, but even though I don't think it was his fault that she dropped out, I give him zero credit for helping or encouraging her to go back. His behaviour after she dropped out just enabled her to fritter away her time and think her decision wasn't a big deal. Fair enough that Logan didn't push her, but he did make her behaviour worse imo. (The biggest example being that after she was arrested he threw that ridiculous felon party to "celebrate", totally making light of the terrible decisions she was making). And then he spent the next few months with her going out partying all the time, having her take care of him when he's drunk and hanging out with friends who refer to him as the "King of sloths". That isn't saying Logan's lifestyle was wrong or he should have changed it all for Rory, it was his choice and Rory chose to hang out with him and his friends, but I absolutely think that Rory being around him/his social circle enabled her behaviour and not facing up to her poor choices. Also, yeah I always thought that Logan was portrayed as naturally very intelligent without trying hard. (Much like Lorelai imo). Which makes sense that Rory viewed him as smarter than her: If he did well/fine when he was slacking off, imagine his grades if he focused.

Ahh, so much good in this trailer: The girls doing a town tour, Luke (living?) in the Crap Shack with them where he belongs, Emily responding in a 100% Emily-like manner over Richard's death (grief and then totally over the top reorganizing), Rory and Jess having a heart to heart over drinks (?!), a return to Chilton, Sookie, Paris, Lane and uh Kirk at Friday Night Dinner? Joining in everyone else at wondering what they're going to do with Lorelai (and hoping they don't screw it up with more Luke/Lorelai drama). It makes sense for both Emily and Rory to be at a crossroads and reappraising their lives: There are lots of different ways they could explore Emily losing Richard and finding herself outside of being his wife, and Rory's career/life plan could go in a hundred different directions. But with Lorelai although she's upset over Richard what would his death make her rethink? Her relationship with Luke? Her career/inn owning? Living in Stars Hollow? That's all stuff integral to the show and makes sense for her character. But this trailer has given me hope they could actually pull it all off!

I'll cut Chris some slack for not coming through when he was 16. Especially as he was willing to marry Lorelai and work for Richard so he didn't completely bail. But he has zero excuse for seeing Rory once or twice a year until she was 16. He didn't mature by 22, by 25, by 30. That isn't a teenager, that's a fully grown man and plenty of guys become fathers and actually hold down full time jobs at those ages. And never at any of those ages was full, 24/7 fatherhood required. Just showing up when he says he would and visiting his daughter in her home town. Chris had 16 years to get himself together and took far too long.

Re: All the Jess criticism, I'm pretty much with @Lady Calypso. I personally like Jess and Jess/Rory now but I totally get other people not liking him. On my first watch I hated him for exactly the reasons everyone's said: He was surly, obnoxious, treated Luke/Rory like crap and squandered his educational/future opportunities by skipping school. (And back then I was also on the Dean/Rory ship and disliked him for unsettling things). It wasn't until s6 when he totally won me over and on rewatches I was much more understanding of his background/situation. (And found Dean way more creepy and controlling rather than sweet). But I can understand why he pisses other people off.

I was always so disappointed we never saw Rory tell Lorelai that Jess was the one that got her back to Yale and about Jess's book/publishing company. It really would have been good for Lorelai to realize that the little hoodlum she vowed to hate forever, basically got kicked out of town and believed was a "terrible influence" on her perfect daughter was now successful, happy and the only one who was able to get through to Rory and get her back on track. (In a situation where even Lorelai failed). Would Lorelai still have stubbornly hated Jess or actually eaten humble pie and realized she'd been too harsh before? And how would Jess treat Lorelai now he'd matured a bit? (It also irritates me that Rory not telling Lorelai that Jess prompted her to go back, makes it seem like Rory is implying that she just "fixed things" all by herself. Obviously it was ultimately her call and Jess wasn't wholly responsible for her making changes in her life, but he certainly helped. But post-returning to Yale Rory just acts like she was misled by the evil Richard/Emily/Logan and managed to fight her way out alone).

I found ignoring WBB the weirdest part too. That episode really felt like the point of no return for L/C and Chris as a character. Matching Lorelai and Chris's relationship in S7 with the end of S2 was ok, they still felt they had unfinished business, they missed their chance. But in the intervening time he acted like such scum that Lorelai going back to him after he actively (as in admitted it IN FRONT OF HER) tried to break her and Luke up made her either horribly cruel or plain stupid. Chris with his track record was always going to take advantage of Lorelai being devastated. If Lorelai didn't realise that, then she's a moron or she was deliberately going to the guy who Luke was most insecure about to hit him where it hurt. If the writers wanted to play out Chris/Lorelai or even tease them as end game they needed to do it before Luke/Lorelai (or at least before they were on the brink of marriage) and certainly before they vilified Chris.

I think if they'd just tweaked how Rory ended up at getting into Chilton it would have made Lorelai look less clueless and unprepared. Maybe if Stars Hollow High sent her transcripts/tests to Chilton because they like to push particularly gifted students (I'm not American so I don't know how the U.S education system works, that could be impossible) so Rory and Lorelai find out she got accepted unexpectedly rather than them having planned it for years without considering the money. Or maybe Rory went up for a scholarship but only got a partial one, and Lorelai still wanted her to take the chance. Yeah that detail gets a bit pernickety but it would make Lorelai look more competent. To be fair private schools (especially ones like Chilton) are so ridiculously expensive that there are a ton of people who could never afford to send their kids there even if they saved every cent they earned. I have no trouble believing paying for Chilton was nigh-impossible on an Inn manager's salary, especially as Lorelai was paying off what was probably a decent mortgage on the Crap Shack. One thing the show was consistent and true to life with, was the reality that fancy schools like Chilton and Yale are pretty inaccessible to people without wealthy families like Lane, Dean, Jess etc. Marty is the only significant character from a non-Gilmore-esque background we see at Yale, and it's clear he's working himself to the bone to afford it. That's so true. I think one of the fascinating, subtle things about Lorelai is despite all her talk about being humble and down-to-earth, she carries this innate entitlement and confidence that comes with a privileged background. We see over and over that she has no problem pushing herself forward for things, no problem demanding what she wants and does expect special treatment. (There are hundreds of examples but the quickest that springs to mind is when Rory breaks her arm, Lorelai demands that the doctor do another check up on her. That behaviour feels very Emily-like ironically). That kind of natural command has got to have helped her "stand out" among the maids at the Independence Inn and naturally slip into being in charge, while they probably kept their heads down, did the work and didn't expect anything more. If Lorelai thinks she's better and isn't afraid of saying it, it's not surprising she'd be the one to get promoted. A lifetime of watching Emily Gilmore manage maids and household staff prepared her to learn to manage an Inn. (This is of course speculation from what we see of Lorelai and the unfortunate reality of what happens in real life. And to be fair I do think Lorelai did work very hard, deserved her position and seems very capable. But her background and upbringing probably helped).

I didn't really mind that particular case of Lorelai freaking out over Luke moving because the show actually acknowledged that Lorelai was being unreasonable, and it was more about Lorelai realizing her romantic feelings for Luke and leading up to the big Luke/Lorelai finally-declaring-their-feelings at the end of the season rather than just random selfishness. Plus it provided one of my favourite and most hilarious scenes with the two of them breaking the bells.

Lorelai had a terrible double standard with how she treated other parent's children vs. how other parent's treated Rory. Lorelai was angry and defensive when Lindsay's mom called Rory out for sleeping with her daughter's husband, yet Lorelai herself attacked and yelled at Dean and Jess about their relationship with Rory. Dean for "breaking up" with Rory - that confrontation happened at his job in public; and Jess over "stealing" Rory's bracelet and not calling her to hang out. Plus there was the time Lorelai ambushed Jess in the street over him hurting Luke: Yes he had been a dick, but Lorelai's "Rory is so over you, she's moved on and is very happy" spiel (uh, lies by the way) was deliberately cruel and crazy out of line. Imagine how Lorelai would have reacted if Dean's parents had confronted Rory in public about what a horrible girl she was for throwing away a great guy like Dean. Or if Luke had called Rory a "little jerk" for leading Jess on. Anything was fair game to defend her daughter but Lorelai didn't give other parents that same right.

So somehow this Tumblr post and this fanfiction Waltzing with Digger have converted me to the bizarre but astonishingly compelling Christopher/Jason ship. (Digstopher?)

^^^ Yes to all of this! Puts perfectly into words why I think Luke is more of a father-figure than Chris. There are plenty of times when Rory separates herself from Lorelai's conflicts with Richard or Luke. (It's significant that even in the middle of the huge Lorelai/Rory rift in s6, Luke still gives Rory his mothers necklace when she turns 21 and Rory's affectionately introduces him as my "step-father to be." Sadly, there weren't many Rory/Luke scenes, but the moments that were seen were meaningful). But with Chris, Rory seems to view him in connection to Lorelai and how Lorelai treats him at certain times. The major occasion she differs from Lorelai regarding Chris, is when Lorelai is getting closer to him in s5 and Rory wants him to stay away. One of the most fascinating things for me is seeing Rory's view of Lorelai/Chris in s1 compared to s7. In s1 she'd love for them to get together while Lorelai tells it's unlikely; in s7 she's initially angry at them sleeping together and then going through the motions when they're married. Her respect for her dad definitely dwindles from giddy, excited Rory thrilled her Dad is coming to Stars Hollow for the first time.

Exactly. Chris started that fight: He turned up, declared that he belonged with Luke's girlfriend and bragged that he deserved to be in Lorelai and Rory's lives more than Luke. In those circumstances Luke firing back with "right, but you haven't actually been there for them...like ever" felt earned. Yes in real life it's more complex, but in Gilmore-land I'd have been thrilled if Lorelai and Rory chipped in with "Well, we do see Luke every day while a guarantee from you is at best a 60/40 chance." Luke pushing back - with a perfectly truthful response - felt justified.

Lorelai's disdain for B&B's was bizarre. Like her mocking that sweet, quirky woman in The Road Trip to Harvard. I'm sorry how is she any different from you and Stars Hollow resident's dealing with Inn's guests with your own brand of weirdness? Because you and your friends are just so delightfully quirky but anyone else in hospitality deserves to be treated rudely? I also loathed the "I get to hate him forever" line. Lorelai was flat out acknowledging how unreasonable she was being. It was just a broken arm. Most mothers could stay calm and realize sometimes accidents happen. Especially as Lorelai came in after the car accident when she knew Rory was ok. When I was a kid my friend got a head wound while over at my house and had to be taken to the emergency room; their mum certainly didn't vow to hate me or my parents FOREVER, she was totally relaxed, knew it was an accident and reassured my parents that she didn't blame them. And her kid was only about ten. (Granted we were in New Zealand where people are way more chilled about these things and kids taking risks). But still, Rory at the age of 17 hurts her arm and Lorelai in one night spins into hysterics, storms into the hospital and forces the staff to take extra important measures for her kid, almost destroys her friendship with Luke, was apparently too out of her mind to comprehend Luke being worried about Jess and gets Chris rushing down from another city to watch Rory sleep. God. That's why it was so important for me that Luke didn't forgive Lorelai until after Jess came back. Luke was clearly hurt and broken up about Jess leaving, while Lorelai was happy he was gone. Her apologizing after she got the neglected kid driven out of town and back to his borderline-abusive home didn't mean anything, she didn't have to bend her pride to apologize when she was the one who "won". Her coming back to Luke to get his forgiveness after Jess was back, meant she had to accept the Jess situation. About the only positive (?) thing about her over-reaction is it gave me more understanding of Rory's reluctance to leave Dean for Jess at end of of S2/beginning of s3. Dating a guy your mother/best friend vowed life-long hatred for only a month or so ago, is hard. Obviously, Rory still shouldn't have strung Dean and Jess along the way she did, but it does justify why she was so scared to drop the adored Dean for the guy Lorelai viewed as Satan incarnate. I remember Mia commented that "the other maids hated you" about Lorelai first starting work and I couldn't help but think that it wasn't surprising that the other maids (who were probably from/in low income families) didn't like the sarcastic, judgmental Lorelai who looked down on most women she met, complained about her horrible, wealthy parents showering her with things and got special treatment from the owner. (That isn't discounting that Lorelai clearly did work very hard and didn't depend on family wealth while raising Rory, but I can imagine why the other maids resented her). Also to be fair, I don't think Lorelai spent the whole 10 years cleaning rooms with people she never mentions again. I imagine she only spent a year or two as a maid, and then got promoted to receptionist or doing admin or something, and kept climbing from there. (And admittedly if she was a hard-worker, I can see how she'd get moved into that).

Lorelai's attitude towards other mothers - and other women in general - is one of my least favourite things about her. Hardly any women met her exacting standards. She looked down on the Stars Hollow mom's who seemed to be mostly stay at home mothers - or at least put their families before their careers; while they were talking about how witty and hilarious she was she couldn't remember their names. She looked down on the Chilton mom's who were society wives and dedicated their time to charity events/fundraisers etc, even when they embraced her with open arms. And she looked down on Sherry and her career women friends for being so driven and intense, even though they were totally friendly and welcoming. (And playing baby games that Lorelai thought beneath her). Apparently Lorelai's only acceptable standard was perfectly juggling motherhood and a successful career (preferably by yourself), but still acting like everything was no biggie and you didn't have to try at anything. About the only other mothers she accepted were Sookie (also managed a successful career and children without really taking time off) and Mrs Kim (for all intents and purposes a single mother, and yup - also did everything by herself between raising Lane, running her own business and presiding as matriach of the Kim clan). Obviously Lorelai accomplishing everything on her own was impressive, but she was such a snob about other women's lifestyles.

Ugh yes, the mysterious but all powerful Rory-force attracting any guy in her radius. (Except that guy in the laundry room in S4. Possibly scientists should have checked his blood for some biological resistance that saved him from pining for Rory Gilmore for the rest of his life). As a whole, I could believe Dean would like Rory: She was the bambi-eyed, town sweetheart that his wholesome, boy next door type would go for. And physical attractiveness totally played into it; their initial relationship felt 100% like the giddy, teenage infatuations where who you fall for doesn't follow the common sense of similar interests or compatible personalities. (Which is why they should have been like most teenage relationships and parted ways permanently in s3 after realizing they had little in common). With Marty and Jess, I felt the writers built up their friendship/similar interests with Rory enough that I could believe they'd like her. (Particularly Jess). But I never, never, never understood why the wealthy, attractive, extroverted and super popular Tristan and Tristan 2.0 (also known as Logan) were so besotted by awkward, wallflower Rory. Made no sense when they were surrounded by other equally attractive and intelligent girls at places like Chilton and Yale. (Let alone that Rory was enough to "reform" them and make them want to be better people).

It did feel like they wrote Jess and Rory as the two sides of the same coin. Especially with the hourglass plot of Jess being a mess in Season 3/4 while Rory was heading to a bright future at Yale, then flipping it in Season 6 with Jess happy and successful - on his terms - while Rory was wasting her life. Both of them also ended up getting support from the family their mothers walked away from (Luke and Emily/Richard). They felt similar below the surface, and things could have been very different if Lorelai had treated Rory the way Liz treated Jess. (Or idk, if Rory ended up being raised by a neglectful Chris?) Or if Luke parented Jess from the start, so he grew up with a stable parental figure? Given how quickly Jess got himself together after only a few years of having people who actually believed in him, he could have been so much healthier and hopeful growing up. And if Rory became so bitter and pessimistic after a few bits of criticism, she could have turned out a much more cynical person. I think the Liz/Lorelai parallel is really interesting and definitely something the show was trying to suggest. As said before not only did both of them get pregnant young and the fathers of their children were flakes but both ran away from their family - Emily/Richard and Luke - to make it on their own. (It's interesting to see parallels between Luke view's of Liz and Emily and Richard's view of Lorelai: Luke/Emily&Richard are more traditional, are irritated with Liz/Lorelai's rebellion, quirky lifestyle, and inability to manage a relationship, and are deeply hurt by them running away and abandoning them because family is meant to be important). I think the biggest difference between Liz and Lorelai is when Lorelai got pregnant; Rory became the most important thing in her world. There were some issues in that I think she projected too much of her own dreams (e.g. Harvard) on Rory and idolised her as a perfect angel child. But she put Rory first and that's admirable for teenage mother to make that choice. In contrast, from everything we hear, Liz seems to have put men first,. (I'd even suggest she tried to get her self-worth out of relationships and guys). Jess's needs were clearly secondary to whatever husband/boyfriend/douche-bag she had at the time. And honestly it's depressing that in the end it was a new relationship with a "good" guy like TJ that made Liz get her act together, not her son. Also, yes Lorelai was at least lucky - and possibly smart - enough to move to a small town where people would be more likely to support her and it was safer. Liz went to New York which is not the place you'll people to take a personal interest in your struggles. That's why I could never buy that Lorelai truly gave Jess a chance. She seemed to in Lost and Found but it became clear she was just waiting to catch him out: The bracelet, the car crash - all situations where Jess had a fair point of view but she leapt to vilify him. And yes to everything you pulled out of her speech and reaction to Luke's description of Jess's background. She just had blinkers on regarding her own background; she heard "troubled kid" and went straight to "spoiled rich kid pushing back against overbearing parents." Zero concept of "neglected poor kid lashing out because his parents don't want him." I never even noticed the Lorelai/Luke parallel lies, good point. Depressing that Rory had not one but two parents who wanted to to spend Christmas with her (plus her grandparents), while Jess had none. And that context makes Lorelai look more selfish for not telling Rory, in comparison to Luke's more selfless albeit unsuccessful lie.

Or Stars Hollow has some sort of Hogwarts-esque geography with roads changing and locations constantly switching.

Idk, I think SP and LG had pretty great chemistry, in earlier seasons the amount of eye!sex and heated moments they had were crazy. I think it's more that SP was just an awkward kisser or they needed more direction.

Ooh interesting. I'd say Logan isn't nearly villainous enough to be book!Wickham (I haven't seen Lost in Austen). Maybe more of a Frank Churchill from Emma? Wealthy, charming, bit a of an ego, knows full well everyone finds him the most exciting, important man in society. Not a bad guy but can be flirty and manipulative toying with people's feelings and playing multiple girls, though he does genuinely fall for the serious, quieter girl in the end. Though Lorelai is more of an Emma than Rory: Good at heart, but also rather spoiled, sees herself as prettier and more intelligent than those around her, wins most people over thanks to charm, and loves to meddle in other people's business? And everyone in her small town worships her? And hmm, the parallels with Emma and Lorelai's best friends-turned-end-game-love-interests: Grumpy, you-have-put-up-with-my-moaning-heroically George Knightley and grumpy, I-like-moaning-but-I-like-you-being-happy Luke. Is Chris bad enough to be Wickham? Or maybe Willoughby from Sense and Sensibility, immature, foolish, never manages to grow up, leads a woman when he can't commit though he does love her and then loses her to the more reliable guy? *ponders deeply* /That turned into an off-topic Austen rant. Apologies./

On the Luke/Lorelai issue and who was to blame, I think it was appalling that he didn't tell her about April for months. Yes I can understand that maybe he was worried about Lorelai's tendency to judge and meddle in these situations - especially after the history with Jess - but I didn't get the impression Luke thought Lorelai was that bad, and if he was that sensitive about her input into his life then he shouldn't have been marrying her. But the show didn't go down that route as the reason they broke up. After Lorelai found out about April, I'd say they were both as bad as each other. Luke should have been more sensitive to Lorelai's feelings and let her be part of April's life especially after hiding April for so long, but Lorelai should have opened up and talked about her damn feelings. I agree that part of the problem was Lorelai was used to being Luke's sole focus for years (barring Jess's two year stint), and he could be constantly aware and accommodating of her feelings. Which meant she never actually learned to voice when something was wrong and the moment he had something else to deal with, and couldn't dedicate 90% of his time to handling her, she just stewed in silence for months waiting for him to notice. So their big blow up at the end of S6 - that's 100% on Lorelai. As so many others have said you don't get to not say anything for months on end, explode out of nowhere, issue ultimatums and then walk off. You certainly don't go and sleep with your ex - who you've lied about seeing before, and know your current fiancee/partner is insecure about - hours after a fight in which you never explicitly broke up with you fiancee. In my mind that's cheating, even if you tell him the next day. Hell, even if Lorelai had handed the ring back and then gone to Chris that's still absolutely shitty behaviour. (In comparing to the Ross/Rachel debate, imo it was pretty clear Ross/Rahcel were broken up - she said she wanted to "get back together" in the phone call the next day - but Ross sleeping with someone else just after they split is super gross and no wonder Rachel wouldn't take him back. And he only slept with a random chick, not an ex he had priors with who tried to get rid of Rachel, like Chris tried to get rid of Luke). Did Lorelai truly owe Luke anything at this point in the show? Um, what? I'd say ten years of friendship (or however long it was in GG's dubious continuity), 2 years of a relationship and being freaking engaged to someone means hell yes Lorelai owes Luke something. That comment suggests that she had free reign to cheat on him or abandon him without any explanation. Unless a partner is abusive, I'd say you always owe to officially break up with someone. (People don't always keep to that but Loreali is meant to be the protaganist and a character we root for, not a villain). Nothing Luke had done since April was revealed merited Lorelai not "owing" him anything. If she'd wanted to break up or end the engagement over him hiding April, back when she found out the truth, that would be understandable. Hiding your kid is a major thing. (If anyone's a fan of Arrow, I was 100% behind Felicity dumping Oliver after he lied about his kid, on top of his previous seasons of secrets ). But that's not what the Luke/Lorelai fight was about. They'd moved on from him lying about April. That was Lorelai throwing a tantrum over feelings she hid from Luke, expecting him to somehow understand and respond correctly, and when he didn't, effectively cheating on him. And if she "had" to sleep with Chris to properly break up with Luke because it was so "hard" to do - then that's the height of cowardice and cruelty: That she'd rather pile more hurt on the man she loved by sleeping with another guy rather than break up with him honestly. Also yes to all of this: Ultimately Luke was awful about hiding April, and super insensitive about shutting Lorelai out, but he never deliberately went out of his way to destroy their relationship like she did.