AbsoluteShower

Like a dollar store Jason Bourne....

Is it me, or does Kevin resemble an underpass weathered* Mike Boogie? Cody - "I feel like we've been on the same page since day one". You mean your alliance goes all the way back to YESTERDAY?!?!?!? *Thanks to "Sisters" for the reference

At least we were spared a full-on "Coooooooooorrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyy"

Is it me or has that half million dollars made her voice even MORE whiny and nasally? Also, is a bu'in the same thing as a button, i wonder?

How awesome! A shirtless dudebro douchealliance! With pretty boob satellites! Don't ever change, Show! Also, Jason - TAKE OFF YOUR FUCKING HAT!!!!!!!

can I just say how much I hate, HATE people who wear fucking cowboy hats all the time? Looking at you, Jason.... Also, whats the over/under on Paul dropping the C bomb on one of the female hamsters this year?

Also, unless Cam went to the ER, you can't just walk into a hospital and say I'd like an MRI please'

$30 an hour to pick out paint chips? What the actual fuck?!?!?

I don't know why*, but I always imagine PK smelling like he has just showered in Drakkar Noir. *I do really - he just looks like he does.

And now, from our "You have got to be fucking kidding me!!!" desk.... Tyga is supposedly worth $12m THAT"S TWELVE MILLION dollars if this is really true, I hope all his creditors read the article...

Given Scheana's predilection for decorating their apartment with colossal wedding photographs, I think its safe to say that "narcissistic" is her middle name. I wonder if she asked for the boudoir book back after the divorce, so she can give it to someone else?

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To put it in BBT terms, it's the 'Jon Cryer Devolution'

God I hope so - It's so creepy to me, and I'm pretty sure that a real life Phil & Claire wouldn't be too happy about it either. Who remembers when Phil got angry when he thought Haley was dating that older pony-tailed jeans guy? Not the show writers, apparently...

That or he pays them in Kylie's nudie pics...

Some random thoughts: 1) Brittney's mama must have been so proud that her daughter managed to get Jax into a church - right up to the point where she saw the rainbow flags flying outside... 2) Speaking of Jax in church, I was half expecting him to literally burst into flames when he stepped over the threshold. 3) Drunk or sober, I still very much want to punch James in the face. 4) Apparently Peter donated his hair to his brother 5) Is the 8 minute short film going to be entirely taken up with Tom flubbing his ONE LINE?!?! 6) Joe Simpson, really?!? Was Terry Richardson unavailable?

"I take threeways VERY seriously..."

I thought he was a Man Of God...

How does that broke-ass skeeve pay his entourage? Skittles?

"Jonathan! My ass needs wiping!"

This line was brought to you by...

"...Lala had went into the room where they let the old staff sit and drink..." This sounds like the exact polar opposite of the VIP Room - not so much behind the velvet rope as behind the shabby bead curtain... Or if they have a producer who unnecessarily interferes in their private lives and then complains about having to hear all about their private lives.

Also, make sure you have the local police department send their two oldest, slowest officers to provide back-up.

I did notice that Red was doing his puzzle on a glass table so I was half expecting a shot from underneath after he finished it showing that he had done it upside down, because, you know....Red.

Plus they talk WAY too quickly. It's asifeverywordrunsintothenextone...