KateHearts

Idiot Charlie: "we're still gonna be watching Andrei closely." WTF are you, FBI?

Exactly. And in the current state of everything in this world, it was especially infuriating to me to listen to her, with her fake con-artist smile and batting her eyes, insist she "needed" plastic surgery, how awful and "fat" her nose was, and Erickee's phony comments about "if it makes her feel good about herself and she's doing it for the right reasons" [insert exaggerated hand motions here]. There are people who are without jobs, the country is in turmoil, and you have children you have basically dumped on others and you are acting like getting your boobs enhanced and your "horrendous" nose shaved down are necessities? Please, take a seat. Hopefully on a seat in a plane headed to Brazil.

The "moving in" episodes are always some of my favorites. I very voyeuristically love seeing how they live, their closets and the stuff they choose to decorate with. It does puzzle me that some of them, knowing they'll be gone for a couple of weeks and then will be bringing their new spouse to their homes, leave mountains of trash (Miles), piles of clothes on the bed (Woody) and chaotic closets (usually most of the women). Olivia and Brett are looking rather bleak as a long-term prospect. I don't disagree with either of their defenses (she likes expensive activities, he doesn't; she rents and he has saved to own a house; she has debt and he saves carefully). A lot of couples have similar discrepancies; here, though, they don't know each other and are hard-pressed to compromise when they barely know one another and aren't even certain where the other is coming from (as pointed out here- does she not want to share her money? Or is she expecting that he'll want to spend similarly to her? Or does she want him to help pull her out of debt? Does Brett think a person who has racked up debt is a no-go? Is he really scornful of a renter or just awkwardly proud that he is able to have a house at a young age?) Personally I can attest that in her position as a nurse practitioner in a Neurosurgery unit, she is probably making in the $120k range, which makes me side-eye a little her admission that she has accrued debt (let's assume credit card and maybe an expensive car) and that she hasn't considered buying a home. Or for that matter, doesn't live in what looks like an expensive apartment with nice furnishings. As for Brett, I think his saving and home ownership are admirable, but that doesn't excuse his scornful comments about "wasting" money on rent or his off-hand comments that he will not go on vacations. As others have said, they could have reached a compromise (you pitch in 35% and I'll pitch in 65%, for example) and prioritize recreational expenses vs housing/home improvement expenses. But they aren't there yet and likely won't ever be, because being so openly disdainful of another person's choice of priorities is a really bad way to start a relationship. I was really off-put by Woody's comparison of an ex making a huge decision about an abortion to Amani's cutting her hair, but reading the comments here and re-thinking the progression of that conversation I get it now. It's good they drilled down on that topic, as it would be easy for either one to abruptly end the talk and walk away with totally wrong impressions (Woody: "she thinks it's ok to make major decisions independent of me," and Amani: "he wants to control every aspect of my life." I think they have a good chance to succeed. Karen is using the "I was hurt before and I don't want to be hurt again" song as a way to keep Miles at arm's length and justify the fact that she thinks he's too young, she doesn't like whatever she read on his Instagram page, and that she's too good for him. I feel badly for him because I think he really wants this and she has already checked out. I can't get over the fact that Christina has said several times on camera how she is baffled that, unlike other men, Henry hasn't fallen all over her and told her "how beautiful I am." Even if that were true (doubtful), it's so weird to bring that up repetitively. I think she is in love with a completely unrealistic ideal (i.e., flowers, romance, sweeping her off her feet) and she isn't at all invested in knowing Henry. Not that he is easy to draw out, but we've seen other couples in seasons past where the attraction/match was just not there, or something we didn't see happened (a grave lie committed, or a horrible comment made) that just doomed the relationship from the get-go. I am wondering if that happened here. I know if I were just meeting someone who was supposed to be a great match for me, and they were more consumed with forgetting their earrings or sniped at people before they walked down the aisle, I would have immediate doubts. Bennett and Amelia are cute, and although I could never in a million years fallen for a guy like him, I see that they are very compatible. He would drive me nuts- the filthy feet, the naiveté about money, the apparent total disinterest in living an adult life, the weird clothing choices. But to each his own. I am sure he will trail along with her wherever she lands in residency.

Oh my goodness... why is every model headless on their website? Is it less expensive to have models who don't have faces? And the swimsuit model has a very obvious tan line (looks like she wears shorts most of the time in the sun). The BEST is the "Darcey engagement ring" for only $49.99! And no way would I wear the giant clunky daisy sneakers.

While I have total empathy for Kalani and her frustration with Asuelu's Family of Horrors, I think she tipped it a bit when she got rather ghetto and said she could beat up her husband and how she beat kids up in third grade. Pull it back a bit, Kalani. Kudos for walking away when Sis got all "I'll cut you," but I would lean toward being the more classy and say nothing more. Asuelu is too simple to think a few steps beyond the literal: once she said she (I loved how she motioned to her ample-sized body) could beat him up, he stopped processing. She should know by now to present things very simply to him. "Your sister threatened to beat me up. I left because I couldn't convince them that we need to take care of our own family first."

Syngin clearly doesn't follow Tanya's plan and although I do think he's lazy (yes, the mines were traumatic; does it mean that at 30 he doesn't need to have any responsibilities at all?) and he just pushes the "I'm a free spirit" agenda the harder Tanya pushes. She was embarrassing herself at dinner, wailing and crying, all the while still shoveling food in her mouth... and then continued to stuff her face while they argued in the bedroom, which I found odd. And Syngin's feet were BLACK with dirt, while he was on the bed... ugggh. Angie continued to boss Michael around, and true to form he took it. I don't have much empathy for the guy. "SEE HER TO THE DOOR." She got her way, though; poor Mama is probably just more than ready at this point for all of the haggling to be over and for Angie to get her giant, Marlboro-scented decolletage away from her. I already addressed Libby's family in a previous post but shit... even if they are acting they come across as the most boorish, ignorant people on this show. Constantly insulting Moldova and its customs: "I guess they eat the bacon fat because they're poor. It's peasant food. This bread is stale. The coffee is too strong. I won't eat that. It's dark so early. The city is gray and depressing. I'm going to lose weight while I'm here because I can't eat any of this food." And then C&C immediately describing the dinner the night before: "we just asked him 'hey- tell us about your past a little, Bro'... and he just told us to shut the F up and wanted to fight!" Ummm, yeah. That's exactly what we all saw ON TV. Colt: "I lied to Jess about Vanessa moving in with us.. I'm talking to other women... but I hope she can accept that I'm a good guy and I love her!" Someone is truly enjoying his 15 minutes of reality-TV "fame". I got a kick out of Debbie's look of delight when Colt (during their "quality time- what was that bowl of confetti-ish slop she was eating?) described his concerns about Jess and coming clean. Larissa: "Ericky made fun of our sex lifey so now I will makey him pay as longy as I canny. If Ericky loves me he will pay for a booby jobby and a nosey jobby." She tells him it's for their relationship and to helpy their sexy lifey. Oh, and it's just a loan. Because she is fully capable of paying him back $25k with interest. And what on God's green earth is the deal with Eric and his hand motions? I look at his face when she says things about their sex life because you can almost see the thought bubble over his head: "I can't believe I'm pretending that I'm a straight guy. But let's talk about her 'cans'"... but the hands! My gosh! They fascinate me.

What baffles me is the level of denial of the non-prison "better" halves . Quaylon has spent his entire adult life in prison. Does Shavel think he is ready to step up, get married and be a father? (and don't get me going about her constant moaning that her daughter "already calls him "Daddy". That was NOT the child's idea.) I have heard that kids who get sick (such as cancer) experience arrested development at the point they become sick. I think it is true of those who go to jail young also. This guy has not experienced anything as an adult- having a job, family responsibilities, paying bills, balancing a checkbook, setting up an apartment and utilities. He's basically a 17 year old. Of course he promised her the world... I'm sure there were a lot of- ahem- promises made (and she did say she was gonna treat him like a grown-ass man, y'all!) So any guy who's been in the clinker for ten or so years is going to first and foremost make good on the sexual promises. I realize Shavel got taken once before in her life, but she seems to have learned zilch from the experience. Destinee makes my skin crawl. She doesn't even hide her motives: yup, she's taking this guy for all he'll give her now that she's free, and she wants to drink, dance, and swear as much as she damn well pleases. The friends seem slightly amused by her... now, if they really are true friends they need to tell Shawn to plan his escape route once he gets her to her hearing. Shawn has a weird angle on all his talking heads- it's as if the camera is in his lap, which just accentuates his odd looks and flipper teeth. I think the whole "breaking parole" thing with Maurice was fake. We didn't really need the added wailing sirens twice in there, Matt Sharp. Jessica acts like she is tweaking most of the time. I don't think this relationship will end well. Tyrice and Chanda... ugh. The butt-admiring/slapping, Tyrice's forthright "I wanted to have sex with her", along with the constant comments about her ass are pathetic. He did seem rather empathetic with her as they ate their "appetizers" of desserts in plastic containers. But she's already confessed to us that she's communicated with numerous men... the big "I haven't told him but I have a secret..." that we've known to expect and love. We are all left wondering... will Tyrice's love of a bubble butt be enough to sustain their love for eternity?

When I quoted you, I highlighted where you mentioned something as “unhealthy.” I read it a little wrong... you actually meant that her interests didnt reflect Physical health. I read that you referred to the interests she had as unhealthy interests. Oops. Sorry.

I am surprised after all of the objections to the numerous tooth-brushing scenes, that no one commented on Olivia Q-tipping her ears. Yuccck! I really did enjoy Brett's jokes and humor this episode, and if I hadn't seen his douchiness at the bachelor party, I would really find myself liking him. He was really passive-aggressive when Olivia was trying to draw him out after her "7" rating, but considering he said he found the entire rating system stupid, it's odd that he placed so much value on it. Points to him for explaining his standoffishness the next morning. I get that when you're already upset or hurt, someone grilling you often is the last thing you want. She was relentless. If she wanted to open the conversation about what they might explore together, why not just say something in that vein like, "I'm excited to cook you dinner in our apartment! [oops, she's not into cooking though]; or "won't it be fun to see what each other's daily lives are like?" rather than the "TELL ME WHAT WE ARE GOING TO DO AS A COUPLE!!" Christina is yet another contestant that seemed oblivious when she signed up for this thing that it was going to be filmed. Which involves cameras and production personnel hanging around for a good part of the day. If she wasn't cool about it, she shouldn't have signed up. I really can't imagine knowing I'm on a TV show and then getting bitchy like she did before walking down the aisle, or making comments like "guys are usually telling me I'm beautiful!" She's embarrassing herself. And if she wants Henry to "make a move," (does she mean come in for a kiss?) there's no reason she can't make the first move and see where it goes. I think I'm understanding why she hasn't gotten many bouquets in her life. I feel like every show about dating or marriage involves rose petals scattered over hotel beds (watch Love after Lockup). All I think of is, "those are going to stain that pretty white bedspread"- although I assume most of them are fake. But it's as if the producers all have a kit full of the same stuff- champagne bottles, rose petals, fluffy robes- it's getting monotonous.

I'm not sure I get this point. I see no negatives to being dedicated to one's career in their early 30s, prioritizing relationships with family and friends, making the decision not to have children, or enjoying good wine/food. Everyone has their priorities, and unless they prioritize illicit drugs or a life of crime, I'm not seeing the unhealthiness here. The second part of your statement may be what you are indicating: that she has listed a bunch of priorities that applied prior to her marriage, but that she needs to amend them to include her husband now that she is a married woman. As for the working out aspect, she stated that she does work out and is athletic (view the monkey bar competition). I don't consider fine dining to be antithetical to a healthy diet or lifestyle. I work out and eat very healthfully, but I definitely enjoy a good restaurant meal (and not necessarily an "unhealthy" one ) as well. As for the children aspect, that should match and I lay blame for that big difference squarely on the "experts."

See, I didn't hear it the same way. To me, she was saying she likes to spend her money on herself, and when he said he preferred to save, she quickly got put off because these are two totally different views on money. But instead of just saying, "I guess I'm more of a spender and you are a saver," she had to add, "I like expensive wine and I eat out a lot." She could have been feeling him out or she could have been saying that those would continue to be a priority for her and how she spends her money- but it came off like a snobby brag. I noticed that she was quick to put on a grumpy face if he said something she didn't like. For example when he said he liked cheap wine. She got that stanky face really fast.

I think that makes more clear the difference between the MAFS scenario and the "typical" marriage. By the time most of us married our spouses, we'd spent enough time with them to be cognizant of their flaws and weaknesses- physical, emotional, spiritual, historical. And at some point we decided that, despite these flaws and weaknesses, we loved that person enough to want to spend our lives with them, "for better or for worse." We all know the future is unknown; I think that our spouse being stricken with a physical or mental illness is a possibility and we accept the fact that it might change our lives and circumstances drastically, even to the point where we have to abandon our dreams or change our lifestyle. And we're okay with that, because we love that person and would want to care for them in that event. In this situation, it's really up to the experts to figure out what the hard stops are for the contestants (and I don't think they are very good at it). Someone like Katie last season with a chronic medical condition needs a partner who is understanding, open to the possibility that they may need to learn to manage the illness, and adapt. And that could be asked before they are matched. I think that certain conditions would be deal breakers for some; not knowing the prospective partner means you have no idea how they might manage their illness, or how much they may need to rely on you, or what other resources they may have. Very different scenarios. Considering they are a mere 6 days into this thing, shows that Brett's ego has come out of hiding. He must have really figured he was putting on a "10" performance.

"Age appropriate" is subjective. I think shorts can be fine on anyone, if nothing is exposed. I wear cutoffs and I'm a grandmother. However, mine are not cut like underwear, or ripped/shredded, or skin-tight. To me, that's just general taste. To compare Elicia's mode of dress with Darcey's and whether they are "age-appropriate" to me is like comparing apples to oranges. Elicia had on jean shorts and a blouse. To some, that's too "young." Darcey wears tight rubber suits, cleavage that plunges so low her nipples threaten to appear, and heels she can barely ambulate in that put her at the elevation of Denver. That's not a question of age-appropriateness, it's that it's tacky, trashy and potentially dangerous (or illegal). Not the same.

I've gotta say, Angela was at her very worst this episode. I usually find her mildly amusing, all the while knowing that she is nuts, abrasive, loud, bull-headed and ignorant. This time, she went too far. And when Michael comes into the apartment and she says, "It's done. I'm done..." but on her face is a satisfied smirk. It's all a game. Then she is SCREAMING... "I'M NOT LISTENING... I'M NOT LISTENING..." It made my blood boil. She's disgusting. And then there's Michael's talking head: "I think there's been a misunderstanding." Ya think?? The entire encounter was just cringe-worthy and bordered on upsetting. At this point, I don't have much sympathy for Michael. The writing is on the wall, the red flags are waving, and he sits there trying to placate her. Walk. Away. Libby's family never fails to disappoint. SisterWitch Jenn starts before they leave the airport, slamming the weather, and continues on the ride from the airport: "it's so dark and depressing. It's like 4 pm and it's getting dark." The meal that Andrei's parents prepared was lovely, as always. And they continue to insult: "what's that? I'm not eating THAT." Next morning: they trash Andrei, the fattsy twins C&C describe (in distorted detail) how awful Andrei was at the Moldovan Midieval Times restaurant, puffing out their chests and inserting "dude" into their diatribe every other word. Mother (I held out hope for her for a short while- alas, she's just as bad) and Jenn look agape, eyes bulging at the horrific behavior of Andre as described by C&C. Then they all complain (again) about the food (the bread is stale, where are the bacon and eggs?) and huff off to find a McDonald's. What a fucking joy they all are. Can't stand a single one of them.

Elicia's little tirade was awful. Running up with her arms crossed, glaring. Telling him "YOU let a CHILD run into a road IN KOREA." I didn't see roaring traffic. She wasn't running into an 8-lane highway. I'm sure there was a risk, but she's THREE and I'm sure Jihoon could catch up but it looked like Elicia wouldn't let him. And I hate the way she carried on (and on) and then when he apologized she said "Your words mean NOTHING to me." Okay then... go the hell away. If there's no discussion, no acceptance for his apologizing (for a mistake!) then get lost. I think Elicia sounds exactly like Deavan and has the same droopy-mouthed, gloomy face.

I've always known it to be a man caring for another man's child. So yeah that doesn't fit.

I agree. However the fact that Libby's family can dangle money over them makes it so hard for Libby or Andrei to take a stand. Andrei basically said it after the meeting with Chuck and Charlie: (to parapharase) "I need to apologize and keep the peace." Implied: "or they'll cut off the money for the wedding, Libby's job and our housing."

Ugh. So much to unpack here. Asuelu and Kalani: He actually spoke up to his horrible family ("ONLY $100?" "Kalani's family; Kalani's family") and was right. His money is her money is their family's money. And their comment that "you only came here because she got pregnant!!!"- umm, just because he's younger does not absolve him of any responsibility. He was right to leave. But not without the parting shot: "We make you food! Don't go! Please stay [after we trash your wife and insult you for not bringing us money]!" complete with tears. He's right, he can't have both his family and his wife. They won't allow it. That goat farmer didn't seem that open to kids. I thought Oliver chasing them was kind of cute. I see that he's still not out of pajamas. I applaud Asuelu for telling it like it is. Mama is delusional, and I am totally team Kalani here. It's as if mama said "just pluck some money out of thin air!" I don't know how long she's lived in the US, but she and Angry Sisters must know that things cost money here. Like Asuelu said, you can't just pick a spot to build a hut and grow taro to survive here. Elizabeth and Andrei: Charlie and Chuck, please stop acting like the arrogant assholes you are and let it go. You have decided that you are going to be all Sherlock Holmes and uncover what you are convinced is a scandalous past from Andrei and blow the marriage apart- all for the sake of saying "AHA! We KNEW there was something terrible!" Stop grilling him, stop interrogating his friends and shut the hell up. Chuck's little speech in the kitchen: "Charlie isn't gonna back down! Did you hear his friend saying he would protect Andrei?? Huh?? I'll just pack my checkbook and my bags... and your brother... and go home" as his giant gut wiggles and Charlie nods and says "I'm not scared of him! Nuh-uh!" was laughable. They are the quintessential bullies with no self-esteem and I would bet that if Andrei put up his fists, Charlie would run sniveling and crying into the corner. And they feel they deserve and can demand an apology? Elizabeth needs to stand up to them and tell them to STOP. He's her husband, they've been married for a few years and have a child, and they have no say how she as an adult woman handles her marriage. They don't get that THEIR behavior brings out the worst in him. Perhaps it's time for Libby and Andrei to disengage from the family business and get out from under Papa Chuck's wing. And I almost screamed at my TV when she said "Andrei needs to make things right with my family and apologize." I just can't. Chuck and Charlie's "conditional" acceptance of Andrei's apology was the pits. Classic manipulators. They go from "we want an apology" to "we don't like the way you made your apology" to "your wife shouldn't have to tell you to talk to us" to "ok, you can apologize but you have to behave and we'll see if we will accept that apology." It's all horrible. And Charlie has a face I just want to punch. I think Andrei was much more accommodating than I could've been in that situation. I think all of the dialogue with Coltee and Jess is fake, fake, fake. He doesn't really seem to have normal emotions (he's driven by "I can get laid! I'm getting sex!! YaY!!!") and says his lines ("I love you. I want to marry you") with a flat voice and seemingly not knowing what he's saying or why. The only person he feels any emotion for is Debbie. The goodbye scene at the airport made me cringe. I know NO mother who would stand and stare at her grown son having a private moment with his girlfriend. And roll her eyes. And mutter, "don't propose; don't propose." Why does Debbie talk like she has marbles in her mouth? Angie has managed to stuff the maximum inventory possible into her decolletage. I hate when she gets into her "here's what Americans do" speech because, well... Nigerians don't do that. She's in Nigeria. It's like someone coming here and saying "In my country we practice cannibalism, shoot arrows at our neighbors if they trespass on our lawn, and clothing is optional." Um, ok. Michael's in for a world of hurt if he comes here. She will bully, harass and harangue him endlessly. Watch how she shuts him down: "DON'T talk to me like that in front of your Aunt! DO NOT!!!" I care so little about Larissa there's nothing to write. There's no "there" there.

Shavel: "He went to prison at 17. Now he's a grown ass man." (Next week's preview: "I'm going to show him how to be with a grown ass woman." Shawn: "We had sex last night. It feeled real good. There were explosions everywhere." Maurice: "Let's look at a glossy, multi-page album of all the friends we had that are now dead." Destinee: "I wanna have fun." (that's what they all say). Other observations: Tyrice needs a tailor. Bady. Quaylon's dreadlocks need freshening up. They look dirty. Shawn's teeth remind me of the "flippers" they put in toddlers for beauty contests. Scott's indignation at the prison officials is laughable. As is his "concern" that Lindsey is missing because the less pretty, angry inmates could have attacked her. Her mom said it right: "She's just smart enough to stay in trouble." Jessica needs a larger pair of jeans. I'm struggling to breathe just looking at her.

So a couple of thoughts here. First, the concept of a "diagnosis" came up here when discussing Henry and the speculation that he might be on the autistic spectrum. I have an issue with throwing out that label, as there can be a tendency for people to use it when they see someone who acts outside what's the social "norm," and while Henry is decidedly introverted and shy (and he admits it), that doesn't mean he has a "diagnosis" of any sort. Sure, many people on the spectrum have jobs, lives, marriages, families, etc and do just fine- but on the flip side, many people without the diagnosis (so-called "normal" people) have tics, quirky behaviors, difficulty with eye contact, extreme shyness when in groups or at first meetings. I am like that. When I am at a cocktail party or starting a new job I am very quiet, struggle with small talk and find such encounters physically exhausting. But in my circle of friends or family, I am comfortable. As for considering his situation "diagnosis-worthy," and comparing it to a physical ailment? Should it be discussed with prospective contestants? Perhaps broadly. I think most agree that in a marriage, you know that illness could come with the package. You don't know what the future might bring. But knowing someone has a chronic illness going in is a little different. These people are all young and in the prime of their lives- a time when most people are generally healthy. Someone like Katie from last season, with a diabetes diagnosis, has a condition that is part of their lives. The partner will need to be aware of what medicines their spouse takes and under what conditions they may need to administer under stressful conditions; they'll know to look for signs or symptoms of trouble. Diabetes can be managed, however; people live long and productive lives with it. Other conditions may be different- like a history of cancer (which could recur) or a progressive illness (I doubt someone with something like MS would aspire to be on this show). So each situation would be different, but I would think some potential spouses would shy away from certain diagnoses. The assumption that Henry won't change can't be made. People like that (me) can become very comfortable once they "read the room," and get to know others on a daily basis. He may never feel at ease in front of a camera, or making small talk on first meeting someone, but to think that Henry will never relax and show more of himself is probably unfair. First impressions count, but I can definitely see that they can be very misleading (consider Brandon from last season, or super-awkward Jephte). As for his ability to talk to others as a recruiter, I can relate here as well. Put me in a social situation where the stakes are high (I'm at a cocktail party and have to talk to the boss's wife- aggh!)- I struggle and get more nervous. But at my job (I'm a medical provider)- if I have to meet a patient, educate them on a procedure or get a history, I'm fine. I am in a position where I can impart knowledge and help them; they may be upset or hurting; and I am good at being a caregiver. No nerves, no anxiety. My hope is that Henry relaxes and he and Christina have a good time. I don't really see that she is viewing him as a "project," although she definitely has an attitude of "oh, I am so much more worldly here and let me boast about my travels" (which is kind of funny because, well-she's a flight attendant and that's her JOB...) I do applaud her trying to get Henry out of his shell and pursuing some more adventurous activities. It could go either way. He either relaxes and they start having fun or she just decides he's too quiet for her. At least they are polite to one another. I blame the editing for presenting only the awkward silences, the weird comments about getting hurt from Henry, and the goofy music to accentuate the narrative that Henry is a helpless, timid nerd.

My post addressed the question as to whether Amelia can support Bennett while she moves to another location during residency. I agree that he went into this not knowing the circumstances, which could be challenging for him as she pursues her training. But financially they should do ok on a resident's salary. After all, he's used to living in a playhouse without a bathroom.

I hope you don't think I expected an explanation. We're all adults and don't need to be passing judgment on a forum that provides so much entertainment and comic relief during a really stressful period in history.

I think without any details regarding who is at the poster's house or under which conditions, we don't have the right to judge.

Residents get paid, although it's not a huge amount. Certainly enough to live on after being a medical student making zero. Many residents time having children for the 3rd or 4th year of residency; they are nearing the end and usually can extend their final year by the six weeks or so they take off for maternity leave.