Lii

Addison is definitely AD though. This week. Which will probably be less stupid than the real A reveal. Unless the real AD is Peter Hastings, which I'm all in on.

In that case wouldn't it be better to go the incest angle with Alison's own eggs? Because PLL?

Wow, I could not care less than I do about Spencer's adoption drama. Is it me or is Peter Hastings not home yet because definitely he's impregnating crazy rich ladies up and down the coast?

PLL refusing to end until literally every female in town has been retroactively impregnated by Peter Hastings. Also, twins. I bet if Ezra asked Aria to let Peter Hastings impregnate her she wouldn't even hesitate a second. And it's still slightly less gross than Ezzzzzzria.

But that wasn't even really his name. The only Rollins is some old dead guy. Maybe HE'S coming?

A.D.- Alison's (unborn) Daughter. Dammit, I want my time travel ending!

I'm really glad I decided to make like this show didn't exist during the off-season. It looks like it's tilted even further into soap opera territory this season. Puke indeed. Is it even possible to watch it free online? My TV blew up months ago and I can't be bothered with hulu for a handful of mediocre shows and also star trek, I can get that much from CBS much cheaper.

Given that Barry is a supposedly highly educated grown adult yet he consistently screws over more people on a larger scale than child OR teen Edward Elric... Then again, Barry never stupidly enabled magical child mutilation. Sooooo. Drunken Fool HR is something I never knew I needed until I got it. I hope we get to see at least a tiny bit of his resultant hangover as well.

Charlotte DiLaurentis: biggest Ezria shipper of them all.

No possible answers at this point could even possibly make sense. They're just going to keep chucking shit at the wall for the remaining episodes, and then for the finale they'll retcon everything to "make sense" for whatever returning actor wasn't busy that day or whoever is cheapest. Because OF COURSE CeCe Drake is a financial genius and secret DiLaurentis and used to have a penis WHY NOT.

Seriously though, was I supposed to recognize that mask?

Damn, Ali's roots. I get that there's no root care while being tortured in the mental hospital, but girl, Aria at least would definitely be down to help with something as non-plot-adjacent as a home root kit. Hanna better be planning on killing NoelKahn because otherwise she gonna look a damn fool when he comes back to wreck her alibi. Mona is a legit goddess. Paige is a legit creeper. This makes me sad. BECAUSE OF COURSE ALI IS PREGNANT. Emily is such a scumbag. After watching Emily make out with every lesbian in Pennsylvania, I'm much less skeeved by Haleb. Decapitation doesn't work that way... wait a head is rolling down the stairs, seems legit. Why did Emily even have her ridiculously oversized phone out in the first place?

Dammit, I don't WANT to still be dealing with this show for a whole nother year! One last season means one year total, tops. Not "well, you know, we'll get to it..." UGH.

Is this shit even trying any more? Marco Fury. Did he get 10 years older since the last time he was on? Not a good look. Hanna. Girl, you're heavily into too dumb to live zone. Please stop. Also, please stop looking drunk. Coffee shop girl looked awful. AWFUL. Which made me realize that clearly the only thing she has going for her in this role is her usual hotness, because I had less than zero use for her or any scene she was in. Actually no, her shoving the cupcakes at Emily in all her butthurt glory was AMAZING. Emily is such a dick, seriously. "You're in danger so turn down customers BECAUSE I SAID SO DON'T QUESTION ME." I think that Emily wins biggest asshole this season, even moreso than Caleb or Aria. I mean, not by much, clearly. But Caleb and Aria both had moments of usefulness this season. What has Emily even done? Everything she is involved in is either banal nonsense or utter moments of fail and stupidity. Shame, Emily. On a show that includes Ezria and The Downfall of Caleb, it's really hard to be the biggest fuckup, but GOOD JOB. With regards to JudgeKahn adopting NoelKahn and the redacted documents - court records are public record (yeah, I don't know what that "you have to be family" shit even was) so public officials and celebrities will often petition the court to redact some or all of anything relating to them for safety reasons. Concluding that the heavy redacting meant JudgeKahn was the one to adopt the baby is actually SOMEWHAT reasonable, especially if you have a small pool of people to choose from in the first place. I fully expect, however, that Aria will be 100% wrong because she is a fool.

The incest, don't forget the incest.

God these bitches are the worst.

They're teenagers now? Sounds legit, PLL. So I see now that Ezra's gone, Aria is back to serving the actual plot again. Thanks, Jason. I'm totally on board with this ship. Is Hanna uploading her torture sesh to her Website Page?

For sure if she got the Emily's baby storyline that would be when she got knocked up. So, quite often when one has a mental illness and is in the midst of an episode, they act out sexually. Patients in mental hospitals are separated by gender for this reason, and even in a short-term ICU ward there are always people who try to get around the supervision and have sex in one room or another. Like even in competently-run mental hospitals this is a thing. In a hospital like Radley, where there was no security, no supervision, and patients were left so completely to their own devices that they could make basement lairs, construct ludicrously realistic masks, break out on the reg, carve things in tables and vandalize board games, and push people off the roof or out a window - there is no way in hell patients wouldn't be having unprotected sex constantly. I thought this was the poor treatment Dr Drunk Dude was talking about. Of course, it's This Show we're talking about, so maybe I'm totally looking in the wrong direction, because This Show does not do realism.

DRINKING! and SEX! There's nothing sexy about the clothes since the timeskip, though. Don't even joke about that. >_<

So, then, Nicole already? I guess it is the end of the half-season, though. I just figured they'd leave enough time for A.D. to fuck with Ezria before Nicole came back from the dead to fuck with Ezria. At least they're getting to it, I guess. So is Nicole A.D. then, or is she working some scam of her own?

I feel like half the reason for the timeskip was so they could cut the budget by never, EVER having any of the parents, even in the one-at-a-time rotation at which we used to get them. Because after all, the girls are GROWNUPS now, and everyone knows once you grow up you never, ever need to see or think about your dumb stinky parents again, amirite? SO ADULT. Speaking of dumb nonsense, I've been thinking about this for a few weeks now, but it's become completely impossible to tell whether something is #Answers or #retcon at this point. It's like they can't even keep their own story straight for even a few episodes at a time any more without doing a dumbass retcon (or continuity error, who knows) and flipping the whole thing around again. So much of the fun of this show is gone now because of the constant retconning of things, because it's totally pointless to speculate on why/how something happened or is happening or may happen in the future since they'll just change it to suit them as needed anyways. Charlotte has been retconned so many times she may as well be a mythical creature at this point, and they're on their way there with Rollins as well. Is storyboarding THAT hard?

That just makes the Haleb breakup timeline even more confusing, though.

Ugh, I can't get the article to stop crashing halfway through, can you paste it here pretty please? I wasn't done vomiting yet.

That's how I would retcon it, if I were in charge of PLL retcons.

My brain totally just read that as Shovel Harvey.