Victor the Crab

Jon always shows the ridiculous hypocrisies of politicians and people who get all hysterical over the unrealistic hypothetical but don't do jack shit over the absolute reality. You'd think by now they'd fell shame by their attitude, but no! Sounds to me you need more than sunlight to stop these violent creeps in Russia from preying on gays and violently attacking them. This goes all the way to Putin and his megalomaniacal ignorance.

It didn't hurt Republicans though to win the House in the 2010 midterms, which was on a census year, which allowed them to redraw the electoral map to their advantage in a big way that resulted in them retaining the House in 2012 despite the Democrats outvoting them in that area. And I don't believe Congress was as awful back then as they are today with the Tea Party influenced GOP. It would seem that the Home Alone plan to protect the president would be a much better option than letting the gang of idiots in the Secret Service protecting him at this point in time.

Another epic takedown of Bill O'Reilly by Stephen, especially when he said "Bill O'Reilly is a fucking egomaniac". I fully expect O'Reilly to start crying about it. Or try and take it out on Jon next week (and fail if he does). The smack at the Koch brothers was also epic as well.

It's a shame Carol Burnett couldn't have appeared on TDS. From what I've read, Samantha is a major, major fan of hers.

Given Jon's recent anger towards the right, and at Fox News lately, and given O'Reilly's (and others at Fox News) recent pissy, whinny behavior towards Jon and company, it would not surprise me to see Jon get combative towards him and maybe even do a "two-twelve" on him. I think Jon likes having O'Reilly on his show because he knows he can, intellectually, run circles around his much larger opponent. And O'Reilly would just sit there and stew a little.

When Congress has a 90 percent return rate as a result of elections, when the House will be safely in Republicans grubby hands for another two years and a real chance of taking the Senate as well, then nothing will ever get done. And the kabuki bullshit act will continue in Washington.

I guess Hans didn't get overly excited after Germany won the 2014 World Cup of soccer for health reasons. Is there any way he can show up on The Late Show once Stephen takes over the hosting duties? Jeffrey Tambor has a very smart seven year old. I can remember him when he was first on a Three's Company spinoff, The Ropers.

So Jon's going to talk about Ebola arriving on American soil tomorrow. Should be a good one. :( I hate the way Congress does nothing. Correction, I hate the way Republicans in Congress don't do fuck all for their own benefit. Jon's not too far off updating the "I'm Just A Bill" cartoon short. Ollie was better at mocking Modi's "may the force be with you" speech on the recent LWT. But Jon was better at explaining the real reason for his popularity. At this point in time, would any sane person really want to be called the next Ronald Reagan? Yes Ben Affleck. We Canadians remember your movie about Iran called "Argo". And none too well I may add. Interesting to see Jon try to unspoil the Batman/Superman movie. When Jon said that Superman was no joke, I thought he was going to say "He's no Joker". Intelligence is an endangered species with you around, Sarah Palin.

I think we just call those bundt cakes instead of sticky pudding.

Maybe we should just give Kim Jong Un all the cheese he can gorge his tubby little self with. That way, he would kill himself. That sticky pudding looks nasty. But I was never a dessert kind of guy.

So Jack Kingston is out the door and gave the Republican game plan away. Nice. Hey lazy ass media, you gonna call the GOP out on their cynical methods? Or are you gonna crawl into a ball, suck your thumbs, and hope it goes away? Let that be a lesson to the One Direction dummkopfs. Don't cross Jon by whining about a joke he made about your precious, talentless little shits that was taken out of context, or he'll really give you something to cry about.

And also, Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper has to show up alongside Seth Rogan at the Port Authority Bus Terminal, saying "You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me?!!" Also adding as a little adlib "Are you talkin' a-boot me? Eh?"

Jesus F. Christ! Not only is society getting dumber, but humorless as well.

I'd take Stephen's idea and turn it into a comedic action movie. I'd take Bill's idea and laugh at him for thinking it would be applicable in real life. At least it was heartening to know the Fox News ladies thought the Cocks on Fox - Bolling and Gutfeld - were disgusting and offensive about the woman fighter pilot.

Jon Stewart, FUCK YEAH!!! This is why I love the guy. First, he flays Fox News for their hypocritical rant about Obama's so-called latte salute. while they said fuck all about Bush's dog salute, then he lets everyone know the thought process of Washington Redskins fans who want to keep their racist nickname. Brett Bozell and the rest of the whinny right are gonna scream like a bratty child over this.

I'm going to miss the Atone Phone. Only Fox News would find something they consider wrong about Obama and drive it into the ground. Didn't think I'd enjoy that double segment with Bill Cosby. But it was rather enjoyable.

Fuck Brent Bozell with a prickly cactus up his asshole. Didn't like the opening segment where Samantha was an alien as a human. But the second segment, where Jon went spazzy over missing out ion the Alibaba.com OP I found very funny.

I'll be interested to see if Jon tries to pry out any spoilers/secrets from Ben Affleck about the Superman v Batman movie.

The Russkies can have Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer. I've had that piss in a can before, and it really does taste like the washoff of a clydesdale, as Stephen proved at the end. Maybe they can make it taste better.

I so enjoyed Jon's Kerry impersonation. It's been so long since he last used it. Nothing General Tony Zinni said I disagree with.

And when we look up the word "dick" in the dictionary, we will see Charles Krauthammer's undead picture next to it. It's amazing he can make a diagnosis of Obama with his head up his ass.

That scientist had the patience of Job to deal with the dumbasses on that House committee on global warming. It would be fun to see Jon sit in that chair and rip them a new one like that. Things I never wish to see again: Jason in a dress. Thanks to the fucking dickhole brainiacs at Comedy/Bell, they've decided to stretch TDS with commercials and promos past 1130PM in order to accommodate Kimmel. They need to be flamed with e-hatemails.

I expect the level of hissy will go unchanged, if and/or when Hillary Clinton becomes president. There's plenty of unfounded topics the right will try and use against her (Whitewater, Vince Foster, Benghazi). Not to mention some less than subtle coded messaging of a woman as U.S. president.

Actually Sean Hannity, you still need beatings for being a disdainful asshole. Or you need serious therapy to delve into that mindset of yours. Either way, you're not normal. Awesome animated tribute to Terry Gilliam at the intro. Love everything Python.

Tiniest tribute ever given. So long Michael Che. We barely got to know ye. And now for the taquitos!