MrsRopersCaftan

Anybody remember how old Sean is? His mother really infantilized him. He could be 16 or he could be 30. I have no idea. Poor Dottie. I cannot even imagine what she went through losing Daniel. So incredibly sad.

Ooooh, boy. Buckle up, Pounders. Tonight is gonna be a rocky ride!

Good night everybody! See you next week!

Jacob, those overalls are NOT your friend.

I have yet to see her eat with a fork made of actual metal. How can these people stand to eat with those nasty cheap plastic forks? The thought of using them day in and day out makes me shudder.

Wow, Ashley looks great! I really like her. She is trying so hard and I hope she continues to be successful. No excuses from her, unlike Nicole, who blames the entire world for everything she's doing wrong. Good for her.

I just keep hearing Penny wailing, "Where's my yellow brick road???" I don't know that anything will ever top that moment.

He is the very definition of "slack-jawed yokel". No offense to any yokels out there.

Hey y'all! Would you believe my stupid internet went out just as the show started and only came back a few minutes ago??? I've been watching (in horror) and dying to join the chat. Good grief, Nicole and Charlie are a combined HOT freaking MESS. Mr. Caftan is watching (though he'd never admit it) and he's both fascinated and horrified. I cannot deal with Nicole's fat voice. It's like she's got that cheesy hot dog mess stuck in her throat and is talking around it. It's grossing me out.

What??? No way! I can't believe that! But her shirt feels looser and she can move her arms around more. That HAS to mean she's lost a TON of weight! I mean, c'mon. It's in no way unhealthy or unsafe to use a deep fryer in your bed. Nope. Not at all.

Oh, sweet baby Ruth, it feels like about 6 years. But I think it was more like 3 months.

"...teeth.." I snorted in a most unladylike way when I read that.

As long as you skipped all that unhealthy meat like grilled chicken, you're good!

OMG, ITS BEEN MONTHS! STOP WHINING ABOUT BEING CALLED A FAILURE!!! Cue the 60 pound weight gain. Which we all know will be Dr. Now’s fault for being a meaniehead. Doug, to quote Vanellope Von Schweetz from “Wreck It Ralph”, you’re being a big smelly diaper baby.

I love that Dr. Now’s level of giving a f**k has deteriorated over the years. These people need a truth bomb and he’s passing them out left and right. Pew pew pew! “Quit being a baby!” Pew pew pew!!!

I was a stay at home Mom for twelve years. For the last four years of that, I cared for my terminally ill mother and ran her house in addition to mine. Yes, it was exhausting but I sucked it up and did what needed to be done. Doug seems to have too much time on his hands to feel sorry for himself. We’re all tired, buddy. All day, every day. That’s adulthood for ya. I think he could really benefit from some time with a therapist. He’s got some stuff going on in his head that’s throwing up roadblocks and hurdles.

That commercial makes me want to put my fist through my television.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! So much for your “diet”, Doug.

I always hear Dr. Phil’s voice in my head saying, “Yeah, how’s that workin’ out for ya?” I mean, why on earth would anyone listen to their BARIATRIC SURGEON? We all know some crazy diet created by some rando on the interwebs will work better for you. Duh.

Yikes. Going off the post-surgery diet and cutting out meat doesn’t seem like a good idea, Doug. You’re gonna lose muscle if you aren’t getting protein and you’re having a ton of carbs. I smell a weight gain a-comin’...

Hello Pounders! Super excited to be here tonight. Even though I had zero idea who Doug was. Which is sad because I know I watched his episode as soon as I saw his wife in the preview. I’ve got my catchphrase bingo card ready. Will Doug be afraid? Is he on a journey? Is he doing this for his kids? Is this going to be hard? I can’t wait to find out. Just kidding. I’m pretty sure it’ll be a snooze fest.

Well, it's common to have anxiety when you're on a journey! (I think they said "journey" sixty-seven times in the first twenty minutes of the show.)

Roni found all the weight Michael lost. Funny how their dynamic is changing.

I thought it looked like she was eating it like she was pissed at it. Did you see the look on her face? You'd lose a finger or three if you tried to get between her and that bowl. Also, TWO PACKETS of taco seasoning for that little bit of chicken? OMG, the SODIUM!!!

Oh gawd, y'all, I don't know if I can take two more hours of Kirsten. I'm sick and my level of "I can't even" is at a 12,483. She's gonna make me hate watch and stress eat if she's still like she was in her original episode.