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Happy new year of Late Night! I thought the Monday night monologue joke about the guy who jumped into the Bass Pro Shop aquarium (low-hanging fruit/high-hanging fruit) should have been saved for Surprise Inspection. And then there was a Surprise Inspection Tuesday! Yes, the jokes got even worse! 😂

I couldn’t figure out why he jumped straight from Rudy to starting his story of the night. But it all made sense when he started the season wrapup. Love the graphic of the giant puteketeke puppet flying in the main cabin! Same! Those are the exact same two I wanted. (I HATE those searing, blinding headlights! They are a menace on the road.)

The Mike Johnson stuff was all so familiar I had to check this wasn’t a rerun. But it obviously bears repeating as he’s still (for now) Speaker. I loved John’s formula: Industry + Deregulation – Government Oversight = Episode of Last Week Tonight. Yup, sounds about right!

I LOLed during the cold open, PDD, and Weekend Update. (Loved the cigarette!) The musical guest was great. The Olay pre tape was fine. Every other sketch I wish I had fast forwarded. (The only reason I didn’t fast forward the music studio was Troast’s Mama Cass was SO GOOD. I was just trying to listen to her and tried to tune out the sketch.)

Yes, I listened to the podcast—it’s such a good interview!

That’s one thing that’s hard to understand. It’s a DOLLAR store. How much money are you going to get versus the penalty for armed robbery?

I am flabbergasted that there are more Dollar General/Tree stores in the US than Walmart, McDonalds, and Starbucks combined. That seems inconceivable! I hope more employees ditch their horrifying pay and staffing conditions. Puteketeke!

Iman’s interview with Seth Meyers is delightful!

I can totally see why it is getting so much WTF?! coverage! But I wish people were asking more about how the second in line to the president has an app on his phone that is taking screenshots every minute, and doing who knows what in the background. Major security risk.

She was the super religious young woman who dressed like a ‘60s housewife. It was their wedding in space when the orbital hotel had that big blowout and was shut down until it was bought and repurposed to go to Mars.

Could not stop laughing at Seth’s transcript of Trump and the judge trading playground insults!

Texas Satanic Temple for the win with that Antonin Scalia’s Mom joke! ❤️❤️❤️ John for covering this issue. My favorite costume was also the rain cloud! Appreciated the Barbies, but Ken was not anywhere near Kenough. My favorite New Zealand bird is the Fantail, but I’m down with John’s campaign, too..

I am absolutely over the moon that Nathan Lane brought up Cicada, Cicada! One of my favorite bits!

Long time hater of Jim Cramer, thanks to just seeing his clips on LWT. But Fox Business has crazies, too? I threw up in my mouth a little, watching the “sexual tension.” Speaking of throwing up (or worse)… as a vegetarian, I’m very salty about E. coli moving from the meat world to vegetables. Not planning to bring a blowtorch with me to Chipotle, thanks! 😡

I love the way he is completely flummoxed by the lack of capitalization and punctuation in Tweets, and by the sadomasochism of stan culture!

I highly recommend Rachel’s Bag Man podcast! It goes deeper into those Baltimore prosecutors and the whole story.

Just listened to the first episode and loved it! I’m familiar with the Smedley Butler story, but I’m embarrassed to say I never heard of 2 Février in France. Nor was I really aware of how strong the fascist movement was and how eager the Vichy government was. Ugh.

I just realized… the awful restaurant manager in Amsterdam was named Derek, as was Jade and Nate’s boss. Are all terrible restaurant managers Derek? Or just the ones in foreign-cuisine restaurants (American in Amsterdam, Greek in London)? When I worked in a restaurant in college (Mexican in the US), the owners used to skim cash payments off the income to dodge taxes and snort coke, so Derek of Taste of Athens was pretty familiar to me! Neither of them was a Derek, though.

Other than the Roy/Jamie/Keeley situation, I was happy the finale! Can I just say, Isaac is INSANELY hot in costume. Even as Santa. But in the judge outfit, he was smokin’! I loved that the team got to do their So Long dance number for Ted! They had practiced so hard to do a goodbye number for Dr. Sharon, and she slipped away before they got to do it. (Also loved that Dr. Sharon was so excited during the game, and that she came back to work for the team.)

I loved Mumm-eh Tartt and her sex-eh litt’l beh-beh! He was so down and just needed that unconditional love. All these hard men players are marshmallows inside. (Loved the posters in his bedroom, too!) He was especially sex-eh in that orange kit for the game. Fantastic bum! I loved him getting his groove back, peacocking back onto the field, although it was completely ridiculous that Ted would play a man down while waiting to see whether Jamie could go out and make his injury worse right before their next big game. I can’t believe that no one on the team watched You’ve Got Mail and didn’t have a comment about neoliberal free-market capitalism destroying small businesses and local economies. Their locker room talk in general has that kind of left-wing tendency, plus both Sam and Keeley are small business owners who have been having their businesses threatened by billionaires.

This was the only thing that didn’t work for me at all. Roy would wear a pink headband with bunny ears if Phoebe wanted him to and be completely stone-faced about it. If a stranger said anything, they’d get the Roy Kent glare. If a friend said anything, he’d say it was from Phoebe and they’d just nod, “Oh, yeah, fair play.” Still, I absolutely WHEEZED when Jaimie changed the E to a U on Roy’s old kit! And again when I saw Phoebe’s face as she figured it out, and again when she made Jaimie pay up! Roy’s sister has the family eyebrows. But yeah, she’s fit. 😉

Even if Nate’s mother was loving and kind to her son, the fact that she thinks his father is kind and sweet, and enables his controlling behavior, tells a little boy that “Dad is right, even Mum thinks so.” So Nate got no messages that Dad’s coldness to and dismissiveness of him has wrong. Definitely emotionally abusive. (As mentioned, an explanation of Nate’s behavior, not an excuse.)

I don’t think it’s the money at all. Keeley was still in the limerence phase of her relationship with Jack where there was a ton of communication and contact of the giddy-making variety. All of a sudden, Jack tells her she should should basically apologize to the world for being publicly slutty so that Jack doesn’t get embarrassed, then walks out saying “maybe” she’ll be back. It’s an abusive and controlling tactic to love-bomb someone and then withdrawing “because it’s the target’s fault” so that the target wonders what happened and how they can get the abuser back to the good times. (Hopefully, since Keeley isn’t going to apologize for getting hacked, Jack won’t swoop in with the love-bombing again.) Keeley knew Jamie and Roy and what was going on in their relationships a lot better, and wasn’t left hanging/wondering so much with them.

Sure, lots of it! Just like basketball, the ball gets moved around either by passing or by one person keeping it in their possession as they run. In the big play during this episode’s game, there was a ton of passing, but very often, either because someone is very skilled and/or because they’re a hotdog, one person will dribble the ball up the field.

But she was probably feeling uncharacteristically short with her high heels at the bottom of the canal! I was excited when I saw they were in Amsterdam as I’ve heard about when Jason and Brendan used to live there. And then they were going to do a Beard’s Night Out, but for everyone? Awesome! Count me as one of the people who loved this ep (except for the awkward question and later response between Rebecca and HBG at the end). Roy and Jamie were especially *chef’s kiss* Of course Jamie’s prostitute wasn’t traumatized by him and he left her happy! 😂And I’m so glad Trent is confirmed gay; that was beautiful. The way Jason’s face just melted as the docent quoted Van Gogh to him was brilliant. I think he did get a touch of psychedelic, even if the threshold was too low for Beard and the driver. Enough to give him some of that brain blanket of snow!