erikdepressant

The choice of color palette and backgrounds in NovoLog's "Now I Know" commercial are confusing. How are these people able to be happy about controlling their blood sugar when they're being engulfed in a fiery nuclear holocaust?

The movie 300 is on right now. When the Spartans come across the Tree of the Dead, I couldn't help but think of Edible Arrangements.

"Vigorous activity report: 3.7 minutes. You had a better-than-average night. Shutdown in 3... 2... 1... See you in 16 hours."

Cholera's a beautiful thing, I know, I know. Cholera's a beautiful thing, I know, oh yes, I know.

Now they're harassing employees and customers at VW dealerships.

I think Floor & Decor created a commercial that was so random, it became snark-proof. Bravo to them, I suppose. Oddly enough, one of the last lines of the commercial did actually remind me of The Odyssey. The narrator says, "No one beats our selection, and no one beats our prices." I slightly edited this Wikipedia quote for brevity: Basically, that's a long way of saying that only Odysseus can give you better selection & prices on your floor and decor needs.

We're the elite members of the public.

One of the YouTube videos up above had this as a suggested video. I hadn't seen it before:

Our HOA forbids any wild animal feeding. One of the neighbors took photographs of another neighbor feeding the geese. My house got in trouble for having a bird feeder. Before that crime bust, a few of the rabbits had gotten used to taking food out of my hand, too. My cat misses his television show (Birds at the Feeder). I can't be angry at the HOA, however, because we also have coyotes that roam through the neighborhood. I wish I could at least put the bird feeder back up. On the topic of people being unable to handle their dogs... I just want to scream at the idiots who get dragged behind their dogs, which are at the end of like ten-foot leashes. When I did have a dog, I kept that dog on a short leash, right by my side, during our walks. I stayed in control of where she was going. These morons with the extended leashes are almost always fucking with their phones. They have no idea where the dog is or what it's doing; the dogs will abruptly stop somewhere, jolting the idiots out of their texting session. A lot of the neighbors don't clean up the dog poop, either. Hate them.

This may be a local ad, but I'm curious if they change a few details for broadcast in other states. I was furious the first time I saw the commercial months ago, and seeing it every day has not made me hate it any less. The "lots of experts" who studied fracking were employed by frackers. Carbon emissions may be down, but methane and toxic byproduct gasses are up. The "toughest, most stringent rules" that regulate fracking are not tough, stringent, or even properly enforced. Cities and counties can't contradict the state by interfering with fracking, because the state has been bought out. What upsets me most about the commercial is the way it pretends that frackers should pat themselves on the back for following the regulations they helped dilute, even though they lobby heavily to get those regulations removed.

The general American TV-watching public is itself the lowest rung on the ladder.

I still black out from rage whenever the Greenies commercial comes on, and it was uploaded to YouTube more than two years ago. Who thought an adult audience would want to hear a child scream? I think what bothers me most about the commercial is that it reminds me of the heyday of America's Funniest Home Videos. Parents tried to win thousands of dollars by submitting videos of their prompted kids screaming in fake excitement over Christmas presents. Hearing another child paid to scream, to sell dog treats, is too much for me.

I was reading through the pizza discussion, and the Little Caesars "Password Hint" commercial just came on. I admit I chuckled out loud at it.

3D printed meat is on its way. The same technology that will print food that's bad for you can also print replacement organs. You will eventually close the loop by turning your old organs into your next meal. ETA: Possible NSFW warning: that link is to a Gizmodo article, and it generated a popup video for growing marijauna.

Sorry for being So bitchy. I shall resume Work on my sonnet.

I saw two different FarmersOnly.com commercials tonight with talking pigeons. Pigeons, the international symbol of romance. This one gave me a headache: Immediately after they show city folks who did get it, they claim that city folks just don't get it. These city folk got it because they apparently had country that could be let out. But if they aren't farmers, that means the FarmersOnly site isn't only for farmers. Were the two people actually farmers visiting the city under false pretenses? Did the city disguises vanish when they sang the jingle, as if they had yelled "Shazam!"? Who told the voice actress for the female pigeon that she could sing? Were they aiming for the audio equivalent of pigeon poop on a statue? Nothing makes sense about this commercial!

With all due respect, I assumed limericks were okay here because the first post reads

Some riot is trending on Twitter; Mom's late getting pills, and I'm bitter. My stepdad's M.I.A., And my boyfriend -- oh, no... Nick barfed! I hate being his sitter!

When are they gonna do a DirecTV ad like those with a female athlete or celebrity? I'd like to see what Jane Lynch or Venus or Serena Williams would do. Maybe even do alternate versions of Hannah with her horse.

Yeah, I haven't had a chemistry class since college, so I assumed that meant hydrogen peroxide. Science marches on! You can see from my picture that I don't have the best hair. I won't, however, be convinced to buy into the Oxygen Moisture System until I see a Dove Real Beauty commercial about it: "We took nine everyday women -- who are NOT!! actresses -- up into orbit. We briefly subjected them to explosive decompression and the vacuum of space. Then we asked them how they felt about their hair."

Here are two completely unrelated commercials that annoy me for similar reasons (unrealistic workplace depictions). The first is a LifeLock commercial: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfx8KFsfVVA I roll my eyes whenever a call center is featured in a commercial. Many companies do this: they show a sleek communications hub where ultraprofessionals interact with bleeding-edge technology. Bonus points for animated diagrams on the monitors. They also love giant maps on screens in the front of the room. If you've ever worked in a call center, you know it's actually a maze of old, dirty workstations, populated by desperate people who had no choice but to apply there. It's a miserable environment; employee turnover is so bad, a call center will hire anyone (and I mean anyone) who can speak, read, and type. Now, on to cream cheese: Do we really believe that Philly's strawberries are plucked from an idyllic landscape by ethereal WASPs in sundresses? You wouldn't want the cream cheese, if the commercial showed the appalling conditions the migrant workers faced while doing the backbreaking labor. I suspect you wouldn't want LifeLock if you got a look at their real call center, either.

Woke up in a blouse To my friend chewing some dude. I bought some bad shit. -AND- Evacuate schools. Bunkers are classrooms for new Common Gore Standards.

Congratulations, Aquafina. You've aired this commercial so often that I now irrationally hate 71% of the Earth's surface. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=su1jPWEaE_k

Yoplait makes Go-Gurt. This commercial just aired: Curiously, the comments on YouTube have been disabled.