saber5055

You just won the Internet with that post. Hee-larious. And so true!

I'll be watching Kimmel, he always does a Bachelor recap. I am expecting (hoping for) some major Mommy BURN.

WTH is it with cutting to Audience Barb while Clare is speaking? Is Peter going to be on her season too? Clare looks great. Fingers crossed for a redemption season after this CF season.

Oh wow, deja vu, Juan PABLO! Such good times. Especially compared to this shit show season.

Oh, thank the gods, Clare is there. Fresh air needed after the vitriol that is Peter's demon family.

Mother: "Only one was willing to fuck my son compromise." Barb needs to burn in hell. Now I want Peter and Madison to get married and have 20 kids. Thanks Barb, for being a bigger dick than your son.

Long story short: Mother is a FREAKING BITCH. This franchise is not about you, mom. So STFU.

What "healing" does Peter have to do? Anyone?

CH to Peter: Are you still in love with Madison? Long pause ..... Peter: head down, not looking, loooooooong pause ... "yeah." So convincing!

She hates Maddie because she won't eff her eff-boy son. Simple. Remember how Mother applauded four-time-windmill Peter?

I'm thinking the proposal and break up were scripted for Peter so he could continue with his contract with the show. HA might have gotten some talking points from TPTB, but she did a great job of burning this douchebag. Auburn, Alabama? Oh, thank god, I thought CH was going to see Hannah B.

Peter is spewing such bs, saying he was SO IN LOVE with HA when he proposed. *lightning strikes*

Did Mother just clap at the breakup/ring return? WTH!

Who has a photo booth in their house? Where is he?

Yeah, he's ruining HER LIFE.

LOL! Is that Mother in the inset, watching Peter and Hannah Ann? This show is SO SICK. Hannah Ann looks 12, which matches Peter being 12 too.

Mother deserves all the Internet trolling she's getting, plus then some. Is she that much of a dumbass that she doesn't know how this show works? And is Dad laughing his ass off at his wife becoming laughing stock gifs and memes that will last forever. Peter is WAY dysfunctional, and now we know why. And he's not going to change. Any woman he marries better get ready to move into Peter's bedroom in Mom's basement, where they will live forever.

That's good. If I don't forget about it by then! I've never seen the original 911 and only happened on this by chance when my Monday-night "regular" show wasn't on. Plus this thread turned out to be Barrels of Fun, so there's that too. Now to decide where to go next Monday night ...

You might (not) want to catch the 1989 movie, Great Balls of Fire, starring Dennis Quaid as Jerry Lee Lewis. Since it's been 30 years since I've seen it, maybe I need to watch it again. Or not. Jerry LL's cousin was Jimmy Swaggart, played by Alec Baldwin in the movie, and Winona Ryder is the 13-year-old bride. Also of note, Stephen Tobolowsky from Groundhog Day is also in the cast!

Yeah, no kidding, except I was hoping that deadness means the end of homeless sister story. But what's up with the bones and wrecked truck, is sis a murderer? And when Michelle was giving sis some blankets (like she has been getting along w/o them for three freaking years), I thought she'd give her back her bracelet too. The one she "never takes off." Except she did, three years ago. In other shows, the crazy person is jumped, injected with some magic potion, and carried off to hospital where he/she recovers and reverts back to Happy Family Member. This is the first time I've seen a show just say, "Well, whatever, she's not dead, go back to your tent in the street. See ya, don't wanna be ya." Sis was smart enough to avoid Michelle for three years. I missed how she was found this time, not that it matters I guess. Next season I want to see the Michelle/Dustin apology episode. Now that you put it that way, I agree. This was the oh-so-perfect ending, everyone and everything solved.

Maybe because a Yorkie is not macho enough for a fire-house dog while a Berner is. Thanks for the cool pic. Oh, great shout out to Northern Lights/Exposure. Well done, @Dowel Jones.

I never noticed Dad's teeth. What's wrong with me. Or, maybe that's a good thing. I'm going with good thing.

Wow, for being in a near-death coma, TK sure came out of his all fresh and spunky and ready to roll. I guess all that rest he got rejuvenated him. It takes me longer to wake up from sleeping overnight than he did from a medical coma. Owen: "It's so like you, TK, to think of everyone else besides yourself." When the heck did that happen? Every episode posting here, I've ranted about TK being so selfish and dickish and all about himself and screw everyone AND your big dog too. Then he has the big reveal at the station about how he used to be an addict but NOW he wants to be a firefighter, and his face goes from all woebegone to smiley and bright during his monologue. All I could think was, wouldn't he be on some nice opioids now from the gunshot wound? So either TK is now high or else he really did suffer brain damage from the coma, that plot line alluded to last episode. However, I did tear up during the scene where he was saving the lady in the bus. So, joke's on me I guess. Do tv people EVER say "Good bye" or even "'Bye" when ending a phone call? I laughed at the spelunking scene, but was grossed out by the tight-squeeze area being called The Birth Canal. And thought the son being freaked about entering a big WALK-THROUGH cave entrance stupid. I went spelunking in southern Indiana; the cave entrance was an almost unseen slit in the ground we had to shimmy down. And our tight-squeeze was called Fat Man's Squeeze. The show should have filmed there for more realism. I was also irritated at the cave son's repeated "It's dark in there" so he couldn't help or do anything. Dude, that's why you had a freaking headlamp on your helmet, turn it on and you can see. Judd, man, there are better ways to talk to your dad. Loved that Michelle's long-dead sister is batshit crazy. Liv Tyler's hugely inflated upper lip needs its own casting agent. When Owen and Buttercup went for a night walk and Owen looked up and was amazed at what he saw, I thought for sure it would be the space station. I called BS on the Northern Lights being seen in Austin, but then I figured the solar flare caused it, so it was okay. The last scene were TK and cop boyfriend are on the car hood looking up, TK looked like a Rob Lowe twin. Funny I never saw it until that scene. Lastly: Why would jumping out of a plane onto a big bouncy pad kill that liver-transplant guy? Like it would burst his diseased liver or something?

To add to the above, taping will resume in April if anyone had plans to attend. (Plans now canceled.)

I thought yesterday's was a good game. Even AT has been nicer lately to all the contestants, which makes the interviews more fun and friendly, which I enjoy. I don't miss his snark at all, and my viewing pleasure is better for it gone missing. I felt badly for Michael going into the red, how horrible to finally make it onto the show and then tank. So I was glad to see him get back on his game and finish well. I typically root for the underdog, I'm not a "pile on" person.