nachomama

nursegigi be cray cray ILOVEITILOVEITILOVEITILOVEIT! and morgankobi I totally saw that movie too! I think it was based on a true story. My biggest fear in the universe is having to swim under something. Like in a cave. I have no fear of water, ocean, lake stream all good but seriously, if you ask me to even swim under the rope thingy with bobbers on it. I have to think carefully about it. I cannot swim under a rowboat to the other side. I dont want anything on top of me when I'm under water. I could scuba, just not into caves or stuff. I saw another Australian movie when I was a kid, some girl goes to school for the first time and has only mayonaise sandwich. as in, bread and mayo only, blech and the kids pick on her for this, they smear her bread on the floor of the school house, leaving a big mayo smear. Anyone? anyone, Bueller? sort of like a Pippi Longstocking movie, she rides a horse to school.

HAHAHAhahshahahahahHAHAHhHAHAHAHAHAHa oh sweet merciful lawd. I yelled SOMEBODY FARTED. in church. And we went to gramma and grampa's church once and after Sunday school the teacher wanted to return me to my rightful owners but didn't recognize me. So she asked who I came to church with. gramma and grampa. so she asked did I know their names, gramma and grampa. so she asked what did grampa call grandma when he was just talking to her and I replied. "dammit Dorothy" somehow I found my way to my people. And my sister reminded me recently that my grampa called her "jasper" sometimes. I wonder what that was about? too bad everbody's dead.

I need a wayback machine to go back in time and take myself away from my parents. I keep thinking of horrendous things I saw/learned much too young. Cujo was the first Stephen King book I read, and the man she had an affair with goes upstairs in her house and jerks off onto the bedspread. facepalm Here's a hoot, my sister is 15 years older than me. I was 4-5 ish when I became an aunt. My mother decided rather than tell me stork stuff or cabbage patch things she would tell us the nitty gritty on where babies come from. Smooth move Nancy! So she says "people who love each other..." she didn't say ADULTS, she didn't say MARRIED and then the insert part A into slot B yada yada (don't wanna spoil some of you :D) So guess what I took from this? That at 5 it was perfectly ok for me to go do it. So my friend Regina and I were playing War with her brother, we were hostages and he was rescuing us. So we are sneaking through ditches behind our houses and he throws me on the ground because we were ambushed. He covers me so I'm not blown up by grenades. I go home and ask my mom if you can get pregnant through your clothes. (because a boy was on top of me) I seriously do not know how I'm still alive. I'm shocked that I was smart enough to know to take one breath after another. The kicker is my mother said it could happen, so at 6-7 ish I thought I was pregnant for like 2 weeks. My mother had to have been smoking crack.

Lotta times you can chalk some mistakes up to spell check/auto correct with our new fangled gadgets. There was a classic one recently, possibly in a walking dead thread, a phrase someone had obviously never seen written down.

OOooh, I remember "Fear of Flying" erica Jong also about stewardesesesesessss and one scene was her in the bathtub watching her tampon string bob about. And one of her dates "complaining" that it was no big deal to have sex during her period. I WAS LIKE 8!!!!!!! I don't really know where all these books came from. But I remember some friend of my mother's giving us some books that she claimed were specifically for "young" "christian" readers, as in they were thinly disguised Life lessons about how these wayward teenagers found their way back to Jesus. Supposedly they were true stories, One was called "Dawn" and it was the girls' name and she had run away from home at 15 and ended up a prostitute and on drugs. She ended up having a baby but I guess got her life back on track with Jesus. But I remember my impression was that her life was better as a prostitute! hahahah I'm so broken. It's just so bizarre that I go from reading "Beezus and Ramona" books, Ramona was our 5 year old heroine and Beatrice was her older sister, whose name she couldn't even pronounce, thus calling her Beezus. (And I was so dumb that I was reading the word "Beatrice" as literally "beat" "rice", like I'm even dumber than Ramona because Beezus actually sounds something like Beatrice) I cackle at myself that I thought her sister's name was Beet-rice. and I jump from that to Happy Hooker and Stephen King. We also had the Archie Bunker card game, kinda like old maid, you didnt want to get stuck with the "dingbat" card, and each character had a card, Archie, Edith (dingbat), Sally Struthers and then Meathead (her husband). and even though if you watch the show Archie calls him Meat-head when I was reading the card his name was meeth-ed (because I'm just that dumb).

If you really want to get out of jury duty you can go all father pp on them. The wolf is disguised as the savior in the light, yada yada. I watched all kinds of horror movies when I was itty bitty. I was reading all the Stephen King books when I was in first and second grade. My sister tells me that my mother really liked Rosemary's Baby and Hitchcock films and she was tiny and my mom had her watching Psycho and the Birds etc. I don't remember my mom having some big fetish but she clearly didn't screen what we watched. I remember her saying that "In Cold Blood" was very traumatizing to her when she was very young and we watched it once with her and by then we were like "a whole family murdered?" No chainsaws? No ghosties? zombies? witches? Meh. I remember thinking Psycho was very boring too. In black and white like the Wizard of Oz so I expected it to open the motel door and Shazaam everything in color with flying monkeys. The child catcher in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang is what gave me the heebie jeebies.

I can't even blame it on my parents being young and stupid. My parents were freakjnh old when I was born. My oldest sister is 15 years Older than me. With me they just stopped trying. I raised myself. I remember the whole family sitting down and we watched Mandingo. MAN-DING-GO!!!!! I'm surprised I didn't grow up and join the Taliban. I'm warped squared.

I told you I was warped! I coulda wrote a book report on xaviera Hollander. Only thing I actually remember about the book was her peeing on someone. My parents were worse than Lori! Where's carl? Oh one time we "accidently" wwNt to the drive in movie and thr movie was "colors" which was Robert Duvall and Sean penn. Every other word was the f word. And at one point they bust in on some dude they been trying to arrest and he's banging a hooker. Yes my parents showed excellent judgement. They didn't leave. They just removed the speakers from the windows. So we watched the "silent" movie colors. Omg just remembering this I'm laughing out loud.

My parents were so asleep at the switch with what I watched. And read. I read Scruples when I was like 8. My sister had the happy hooker book so I picked that up and read it. I LOVED children of the corn! The only part that squicked me out was at the beginning when the kids first took over and they show the diner and someone's hand goes in the blender. Blech. I always thought the redhead and lil short stuff were so funny looking I wasn't scared of them. I still mumble HE WANTS YOU TOO MALACHAI

If Desi and Marnie are not represented by an agent who the check should go to first, then the agent divi it up. But as far as advances go (and clearly I'm no expert on any topic really) it's not really payment to either of them, it's money to an entity, yes they could pay themselves with it but the idea is for expenses and/or equipment. $2000 is really a measly amount for an advance anyway.

Once upon a time I went to France, I had an Uncle who lived there and we happened across the movie with Kathy Bates where she kidnaps the author dude (Stephen King novel) and she makes him re-write the book where he had killed off the heroine. I was very enthused by how the french were gonna subtitle this. She loses her shit and starts yelling "he didn't get out of the cock-n-doody car!" (they were at a loss I'm sure and left that as is) and then at the end once he has done her bidding, his ritual is to smoke one cigarette and have a glass of champagne...dun dun dun! DOM PERIGNON, which the premise of the scene was that she mis-pronounces it. Dom Per-IG-non. Apparently the french find nothing funny about mispronouncing their stuff they had her say it correctly. I was miffed! I've heard motherscratcher before.

It's 82 here today. /me *whistling*

How long do we think Marnie has actually been dating Desi? Not the cheating around his ex girlfriend. They have not even been an official coupel for as long as Hannah was in Iowa, this happened after or around when Hannah came back. I know there is time lapse, Adam got a chick pregnant...Hannah had a life change to become a teacher. But still can't be long.

Oh yes, I use Frak and Gorram (firefly)

Yay someone else on the planet remembers "Ode to Billie Joe". Do you also remember "The Day my Mama Socked it to the Harper Valley PTA"?????? People who know me find it very hard to believe that I was ever naive or didn't know stuff. I tried to explain not knowing about the tampons in Carrie or that the sheriff from Dukes of Hazzard got Billie Joe drunk on moonshine. But none of us every heard of motherdick, it's not a thing Abraham!

That looks cool. I'd like to try stuff like that. I'd need white trash apron though. Send me some vienna sausages, gub'mint cheese and a yoohoo, all fancy in a box. Wheeeeee! I do not have to work tomorrow. I might get thoroughly drunk tonight and sleep late, work in the yard a little bit then go russle up some vittles. Maybe I should rewatch last night's episode and drink when Abraham says motherdick. or anyone says porchdick. or anyone acts like a dick. alcohol poisoning here I come!

It is kinda odd to see Jessa in this position, she does run game. I was even finding it odd that she was impressionable during sex with Ace, when he thought her place was like a Tiffany video. Ace and MR do suck but I truly truly love Zachary Quinto. I've been thinking that the whole time Shosh says she and Ray are never getting back together that she really just wants him to ask. And please Ray get over Marnie! Adam and Fran are people who keep getting chewed up and spit out. They don't want the drama but keep wandering into it. Every time I see Becky Anne Baker, she nails it. She is so awesome. Loved her since Freaks and Geeks.

FLAMES! Flames on the side of my face. Omg I hate father PPP. And so sad about Noah. That was bad. Omg so wound up about this episode.

Omg so many things on this weekend that are bringing back memories. I loved loved loved Mommie dearest. Used to laugh and laugh at the NO MORE WIRE HANGARS. and Carrie was on. Tremors. And jaws. Missed the "you're gonna need a bigger boat line" but saw the shark blown to chunks. That got me to thinking about "ode to Billie joe" loved Robbie benson when I was a kid. Watched that movie tons of time. Never ever figured out why he threw himself off that tallahatchie bridge. Watched it in college and blew my kind. I was a dumb kid.

Tell her it's like she gets to have an affair. With a non beardo stranger. Tell her RICK did it. Tellher you're RICK !

Super early for my weekend job. I seriously hate this job. Yesterday made 7 of the most boring party trays for somebody with clearly too much money. You could make yourself for half the money.

Do not bring a knife to a Carol fight. Just don't come to a Carol fight. I want a neck beard bouquet. Wait that's the name of my next band. My current band is sinful stench in the nostrils of the righteous.

I'll be disguised as a walker, DUH! Seeing as how I haven't trimmed bushes in my yard and have some serious overgrowth issues in thd back perhaps they could even use my house as a location. We do have some nice "apocalypse" looking places around here.

If the walking dead ever meanders down here for location shoots you know I'll be stalking some peeps!

I saw josh Lucas in a bar (Matthew McConnahenny light) once. He and dermott Mulroney were in town filming a movie and he was standing right in front of me. Everyone was whispering that it was McConnahenny. Some dumbass girl in a camo cowboy hat walked up and introduced herself. Hi I'm Kate he says hi I'm josh Snd turned back to the bar. The movie was set in the 70's and he was in his 70's wardrobe. If Dermot Mulroney had showed up then I woulda gotten Twitter pated.