nachomama

From New Mexico. Currently living in Georgia. But red necks in both. 😄

I’m guessing that at the time the rifles were registered to the fathers. I do not honestly know how young a person can have their own registered Guns. I hope it’s at least 18. Registering guns didn’t stop the columbine kids. Obviously no kid would be driving up anywhere with a visible gun now. And no tolerance policies have gone so far that a little 8 year old girl got in trouble for a butter knife. So no one at my old high school would still be able to get away with that. Personally, I don’t think any individual needs to have an ar-15. If your purpose is hunting or self defense you can certainly do that with a rifle or pistol. I understand that Americans go nuts over the gun issue. And they think that as long as we can arm ourselves we will never be a dictatorship. Unfortunately if marshall law is declared no matter how many guns you have, your gun will not go overthrow guns, tanks, planes and bombs. I am not anti-gun but I’m definitely for heftier gun control. Here in Georgia people can get guns at gun shows. Which bypasses the whole registration/application. So it’s a “private” sale between 2 people. You only have to be approved and get a license if you go to a dealer. You can buy a gun out of the trunk of someone’s car. Which I don’t think should be legal anywhere. I’m in favor of waiting periods. Back ground checks and even a psych evaluation if necessary. I also wouldn’t care if registering guns became like a drivers license if you had to renew your registration every few years. But that’s me. I am in the minority on that front. The NRA is opposed to ANY gun regulation. They insist someone is coming for all guns. I am in favor of taking guns from violent felons. Or in cases of domestic violence. I do not have the answers.

I was driving when I was 12. We retired my mom early because she was a menace. Her first husband taught her to drive and he said “aim for the middle. They’ll get out of your way”. She killed many many clutches.

Students! and that was anyone between 15 and 18, in New Mexico you could get a driver's license at 15 so you could start driving to school at that time. In the very beginning it was just a separate parking lot, they eventually put a fence around it, the only security caution about that was people sneaking off for lunch so you then had to get a key or permission to leave campus. but no one ever checked for a gun, it was in plain sight. And every boy had a hunting knife, maybe not crocodile dundee style but bigger than normal pocket knives. I think weed became an issue after a while so you weren't allowed to get in your car at lunch because too many were coming back baked. The security was not about the guns or knives strictly weed. hahaha

Nope, I did have a dude show up with a shotgun at a high school graduation party but he was just mad someone smoked all his weed. Here's how rural we were, 2 girls fighting in the hallway at school...the insult: You Quarterhorse. I'm really not sure how that's an insult? Also very drunk girl: "why for, the fuck, you call me bullshit?"

Same rules for us. In high school the boys took the girls out for target practice and had a great time "mansplaining" stuff to us. I will fully admit that I can't hit the side of a barn, my aim, she is no bueno, however, when I turned to ask a question I lowered the gun. The boys all hit the deck. I absolutely knew do-not-ever-aim-a-loaded gun, always lower the gun but damn those boys scrambled quick. We grew up very rural (and pre-Columbine) so dudes drove to school with gun racks in their trucks, every kid had a knife on them. No one ever questioned it and that boggles my mind now.

I don't guess I can ask the lady if there's some kind of "trippy" activity like smoke a bong and beat some drums at sunrise or sunset Ularu? "Hello, ma'am I'd like to smoke some indigenous plants and trip my balls off" I would also like to go to Coober Peedy (SP?) where they've dug all the houses out of rock and they have a lot of mining but I don't think I want to make a specific trip to do that because it's apparently at the ends of the earth nothing else around. I kinda wanna party with locals and eat stuff and point at stuff like "holy shit, there's that thing in person that we always see". I would go on a boat or ferry but not a boat I gotta do myself (because of the dying) and I'd like to see the great barrier reef but not have to do the breather thing because of dying, again. I just don't believe I'm smart enough to not die. so attractions/activities aimed at 5 year olds. You hold the koala and I'll pet it or feed it. If you have a quokka I'd love that too. Kangaroos will hurt me. all the snakes and spiders will kill me. So it's like "light nature" I want to experience, not full immersion. This lady kept cracking up. I feel like it's fair to say I'd be a dumb american tourist but not an assholey one? I don't want to stomp around and break stuff or kill things and be real loud. I can quietly look at stuff and just keep going, my goal in life is not to disturb anyone.

I don't understand the thrill of killing an elephant or cheetah or something like that. My dad used to go hunting once a year and it was his vacation and we ate what he killed. He was a member of the NRA and I do wonder what he would have thought about gun nuts now. We had guns in our house, I don't think he lusted for an AR 15 and I don't think he thought the average dumbass needed one for their own pleasure. I don't think he wanted to go to Africa and kill a lion. It was a little bit shocking when my sister told me he was a democrat. I didn't ever talk to him about politics beyond that I know my parents laughed about Jimmy Carter and they had Billy Beer somewhere in the house. I've questioned my dad's stance on a few things and been surprised by the results, I asked my sister if he was a "tipper". We did not go out to eat often and famously it was usually fast food, but he did like to go to Red Lobster (New Mexico, you weren't going to get too much fresh seafood). He was a tightwad so I was shocked that my sister remembered him as a tipper. I figured he was one of those $2 no matter what the bill was, types. I know he chatted with wait staff, mostly told corny dad jokes. They say you can judge a date by how they treat the wait staff and on that my dad scores pretty good. He was only a dick at home, he joked with cashiers, waitresses. Made Donald Duck noises at babies and children who sat near us. He did a very good Donald Duck. Basically my dad is my asshole-meter and if you kill something for sport you're a bigger asshole than my dad. I got a call from an Australian trip planner person. I think when I was thinking about my travels I had to provide contact information to look at the packages and they eventually got around to getting in touch with me so she was asking what I was interested in and how much time and money was I willing to part with. I cracked this lady up. I said I wanted to see stuff and eat stuff. I didn't want to be adventury, like climbing the Sydney Opera house is way outta my league, I'd be that idiot that climbs up and looks down and then freezes and causes a national stir to get me down. I wanna look at Ayers Rock but not climb it, she said that's good because they don't let you anymore. I said I'd love snorkeling but only shallow like stick my head under water with a mask but not breathing stuff or anywhere where a shark can eat me. This lady was seriously laughing at me. I said I wanna see a kangaroo but not get close enough for him to kick me. Kayaking was out because I'd get in the thing and then I'd be the one stuck in a barrel roll, I wouldn't be able to stay upright and fwoomp down I'd go and I'd die because I am the person who should have been weeded out by natural selection eons ago. I don't want to go to crowded beaches but I'd be up for those mud spa things. I want to go to indiginous places and make crafts or watch them do what they do. I want to sit in a bar and have locals chat at me. I don't know if she was thinking I was a typical dumb american or if I'm just funny and at least know my limitations. I'm trying to recruit friends to take this trip with me, obviously there will be a money issue with most. I kinda want to to go with my friend Marcy who is Navajo, I think there's a parallel with what happened with our native peoples and what happened to the aboriginals in Australia. Their kids were removed and sent to boarding schools, very close to slavery because they were "educated" to only be domestics and in many instances they were sterilized to not reproduce. They were kept on reservations in america not sure what it's called in Australia but essentially you weren't a "citizen" you didn't have freedoms. Not that we'd be celebrating those things on this trip but kind of appreciate what they were able to maintain of their culture while having it stripped from them. I would probably have to pay for her and I'm willing to undertake that but with most Navajo people you aren't going to get just 1. I can't pay for 10 of her relatives so that may never come to pass. I'll see what the lady comes up with and go from there.

I almost fell in, I was 3 ish and I dropped my plastic harmonica (ouch littering) and I tried to go after it. My dad snatched me by the britches. I binged "The Umbrella Academy" over the weekend. I like it, it's just goofy enough that it keeps me entertained without thinking a whole lot about things. Although I became distracted by Ellen Page's forehead. It seems endless. I began to question if it's receding or if it's shaved for some reason but I think she needs bangs. I like Ellen Page and I'm happy that she's a happier person than she once was.

Being eaten by bugs and wild animals are part of the reasons why African Safari's are not high up on my list of vacation plans, also lack of funds for those types. Even some of the videos I've seen of the riding in the bus or jeep to look at the critters can get dangerous. I've seen the jeep get charged by elephants, seen a rhino flip the warden's vehicle. Seen lions "stalk" the vehicles. I respect nature enough to know I'm way too juicy for them. They just wouldn't be able to resist. I'd stay in a hotel but I have a friend who works for an Indian hotel chain and they warn to never leave your windows open, because even if you're on the 10th floor monkeys can get in and they love looking through your luggage and if you decide you want to take your luggage back (you think it's a smaller monkey) they get very angry and bitey, little boogars are much stronger than they appear. If I visit beaches or oceans, I tend to stay in the shallow ends where only Bradley Cooper can get me, not sharks. Geddit? sha-ha-ha-lows. Yes I'm that funny.

congratulations, seriously. Pandemic is no time to be sequestered at home sweating. Everybody practically ready to club each other to death as it is but hot and sweaty on top of that isn't good. I'm still waiting on the unit from China for my evil sister. She's got 1 window unit so I know she has at least 1 room to retreat to, she can sleep cool or get some relief. She never got a stimulus check so I ordered one for her, yes cheapest, and might get ripped off but supposedly a frigidair.

So in conclusion she actually offered me the job but I felt like it was reluctant. She said I didn't have a passion for training and some of the answers she was looking for I wasn't quite giving but that with training she thought I had potential and I had been highly recommended by my leadership team but she had to hire so many and I would pick up my computer today by 8 am and immediately begin training....wait, wait, wait my interview wasn't even supposed to have happened until Wednesday so how was I supposed to have been picking up my computer and starting immediately? I said I have another job and I'd like to give them notice...she said she wasn't aware of that, technically they are hiring me from within the company I already work for so the whole next day thing wouldn't be a shock, my team was aware but she DID know I have another job because that was the purpose of pushing back the time because I have to physically leave the other job to get home to do the interview. I don't expect her to remember that but the whole not showing up the next day for my day job I couldn't really do. Even though I hate my day job and guaranteed at least one of these brothers hates me, it's very hostile but I want to be the bigger person and give them some notice. So I tried to ask for time, even til Monday and she was all no we have to be training immediately. She doesn't think i'm "right" but makes an offer anyway and if I quit my main job and then after 2 weeks of training if I'm not "offered" that job, then what? I'm fucked. Yes I can go back to the part time dialing but then I'd be ubering or some shit to make up for the lost income. I can take the job and prove her wrong. If I was 25 maybe I would do just that. I have a mortgage to pay. And even though I have a hostile work environment I want to do the right thing and not leave them hanging. So even if she could let me do the training later in the day (it's virtual, so why would I necessarily have to do it 9-5?) If I could even give my boss half days until he can find someone or we can figure something out. There's no going back, if I quit this job I don't come back and I'm prepared for that, just not overnight. Plus this lady would be who I'm reporting to, I think half this fuck up is on her, she changed the date and didn't tell me. I was unprepared and maybe didn't have the most enthusiastic responses because I was flying blind. She asked me what I knew about the client (nothing really) I said they were new to us but not new to the company but that they hadn't given me a lot to go on ( are we calling them or they call us? are we "selling" something or are we just doing satisfaction surveys) even she didn't know. She thinks we're selling cell phone plans but she would be the person I'm reporting to. So as much not confidence she was feeling in me I was feeling in her. As much as I want to I don't think I can accept the job. If I wait 6 months until the ship is up and running and maybe we go back to the site to work and I can actually get to know the people in that department maybe I'd give it a shot. I spoke to my TL again after and he said there may be a DCA position (listening to calls/Quality control) that might be opening up and I'd get to stay in my department and I'd jump on it in a heartbeat if it wasn't the job my friend is applying for. IF they don't give it to her I'd snatch it in a heartbeat but I won't compete with her for it. But I would have the same boss and same co-workers. She even said "oh I don't know that I would quit my job either for this" so I feel like she thinks I might not succeed which should light a fire to prove her wrong I guess but it doesn't, my fire is always to pay my mortgage. I'm just so confused and yes talking way too much about this.

I think I tanked my interview...FIRST, the interview was set up for Wednesday between 4-5 and I got in touch with her and let her know that I don't get off my other job until 4 so it would take a minute to get home and she emailed me back she changed it to 4:30. So yesterday, my team leader texts me "do I want to go over anything before the interview?" he said it popped up on his calendar (we're both cc'd on the emails, he has to forward them to me) and I said that was odd because it was on my calendar for tuesday as well but clearly the interview was scheduled for Wednesday. He said I better check, so I did. And sure enough she said when she had to push the time back she had to change the day BUT SHE NEVER TOLD ME THAT. So basically I jump into an interview that I thought I had another day to prepare for. Yes I had actually been preparing but this whole "presentation" of how I would do training I hadn't practiced or run by anyone. I made up fake money to bribe my students with and had notes typed up but never really a dry run. So her questions were the usual bullshit "name a time you've had conflict and how you solved it" "think of an example where you've encountered someone who has a different approach and how you change their minds" she said I didn't answer the specific question she asked, of course I think I did. She asked me why I applied for the position of trainer (real answers that's what was available) I know the answer you're supposed to give is that you want to grow with the company and I know you blow smoke up their ass about the best company to work for ever and blah blah. I didn't think I was shooting myself in the foot to say that I had a convo with my team leader and he said he thought I'd be great but that I didn't feel like I wanted to jump straight to Team Leader and the most natural progression within the company was trainer and I was selling it as if I want to learn everything there is to know about my job/field/company but what she came back with was that she didn't feel I had the enthusiasm for a trainer position. (who the fuck does? truthfully it aint anybody's dream job) I think overall I was honest and I guess that's not what she wanted. I guess If she asked "can you do brain surgery tomorrow?" I was supposed to say "absolutely Im the best brain surgeon ever!" Where she asked what are 3 qualities you think are good for a trainer? I said "knowledge, patience and listening" I don't think is a shitty answer, I illustrated those. She asked for an example of how I would engage a student who didn't seem enthused...that led to my bribery scheme where I would specifically target students who seemed bored or weren't participating and try to encourage a healthy competition to earn money to exchange for treats, make it a quiz show, try to punch some fun into a very boring experience and she said she wanted to hear "you ask that person more questions" Isn't that what I just said? Yes everybody participates in the game but the purpose of the game is grab the attention of people who aren't engaged and you're targetting them but it isn't like they notice they're being targetted. Just a "hey there Steve, read line 4 for me and pretend you give a shit and I'll give you $5" and if you get more $5 than Kelly or John you get to pick cheetos or m&m's at the end of the day.

I can't even believe I know someone who fell for this!!! My friend tells me the other day that his mom calls him and says "don't be mad at me" and she did indeed speak to some dude who said there was malware and gave him remote access. My friend had her immediately change all passwords etc, his mom is not even that old! I told him they gotta get credit kharma and keep checking that no one has set up bogus identities, even if they don't see money coming out of any accounts or being charged to existing accounts, who knows what they got. We even come up on some people's caller ID as "scam likely" the people who answer our calls are predominantly older people. And I don't know if they just need to talk but hoo boy. Yes my "completes" score is pretty good (Good is 3 per hour or higher, so do the math that's way lower even than a good batting average.) Realistically you can dial 120 numbers in an hour if they are all hangups. You could ONLY achieve maybe 10 completes per hour if your survey averages about 10 minutes, 10 would be PHENOMINAL. So if you got 3 out of 120 that's .025%. So older people answer the phone and drag them on and on because instead of just giving me a yes or no answer they have to comment on each question or 1-10 I have to keep reminding them "so on a scale of 1-10 what would you give that?" So that's why my "training" is based on getting $5 out of grandma. You have to be patient. I am not trying to scam anyone, I don't sell anything. It is a nuisance call but it's literally how much do you like your cable or how did you like the installation from Lowe's or how much do you like your eyeglasses. I have been accused of being "too helpful" on calls. When we call older people about their cable they start telling me about buffering and it's not like I'm trying to trouble shoot their problem but I do ask for clarification. I can't help them and I can't transfer them to someone who can help but they kinda think I'm like a miracle from god who called because they were having an issue. All I can do is jot it down in the notes and tell their cable company to call them but I want to accurately write it down. Here's a hilarious thing I've noticed, most older people tell me "I don't even use the internet" they would get rid of it, if it were up to them but it's bundled, etc. but then they go on to tell me they were watching youtube videos on their ipad. or whatever other thing they were doing with their ipad. Do they not know that wifi on their ipad is internet? Do they not know that if they cut the internet they wouldn't have wifi on their ipads?

New Coke was ghastly. and I have no idea why people like seltzered waters, I just can't. I really can't understand the seltzered beer/wine trend. White Claw, now budweiser has their own thing. Truly I think is one. I DO NOT GET IT. They barely have any flavor, like I specifically wanted to try the cherry one. I dont even get a hint of cherry but then, THEN, it has the abismal seltzery thing going on and for the price they want to charge me if I wanted to get drunk they can shove it. I have an interview on Wednesday. This is a trainer position with the part time job, thus it would make it my full time job. I could finally get out of the toxic day job. Definitely more money and already I have benefits such as healthcare (could afford better on the better salary) and paid time off. Already have a 401K but again, more would go into it. So I have to call in about 4 oclock on Wednesday, the interview is supposed to be 30 minutes, of which, I have to do a "presentation" they give me a scenario and I prepare 10 minutes. So I have to explain a "task", explain why the task is important and teach the task then they grade how much "retention" they think my teaching brings. This is absolutely my worst nightmare. I don't care for public speaking and if you'd asked me 3 years ago I would have also said I would never see myself calling random people up to have them reject me repeatedly. I've done rather well, I'm banking on my CPH for my "teaching" task. Literally how to get someone to take your phone call in the 2 seconds before they hang up on you. 95% of the job is failure, no answers or immediate hang ups. If I had to put a finger on why I maybe do slightly better than average, amongst my peers, is "acting". If you act like you want to talk to them, they tend to want to talk to you. I'm reading a script and a very boring one at that. They are annoyed by my call (rightfully) sometimes hostile or suspicious. You have barely a toe in the door to swing them one way or the other. Law of averages, most people answering the phone are older so my "teaching" is thus...acting like you're trying to get $5 out of your grandma. You are polite, ever so slightly ass-kissy. laugh at their jokes. Most americans are inherently polite (we're no Canada, for sure) but if my script says "Can I speak with... or Am I speaking with...?" I add please. I'm reverse psychology-ing them from the get-go. We find it hard to be mean to nice requests. So if I don't sound like a robot and have a tiny bit of enthusiasm and I'm nice it eases them in. After that they're too polite to hang up or say no. For the "presentation" part I"m going to print up fake money and I'll be the grandma, if my callers earn my grandma bucks they can cash them in for treats. It's straight up bribery but they told me "be creative" and if my goal is them remembering why the "task" is important they do well with money and candy. I remember during my training class everybody had to go around and read the script and 1 person played the caller and another the callee so my trainer really hammered this one kid. I noticed that women in the class were natural talkers, men not so much. There were only 3 dudes but they stunk up the script something horrible but I know there's one thing every man can relate to...charming a lady, whether it's grandma or a hotty. If you feel like you gotta turn it on, you turn it on. So it's not so much embarrassment to them to read the script its more like showing off the money. It's a game and give them something they're competing for. Yes this is long winded, lemme know if I sound like a moron.

I'm scared of Dr. Pepper and Cream Soda. One of my earliest drinking forays was Ruinite in the fridge, had been there forever so my neighbor friend and I put some in a cup and we made a "mixed" drink of it with coke. We were not intelligent kids...it was nasty. But we went down to the ditch to taste it. and soon I hear my mother calling me. She wanted to run errands so we hopped in the truck and she grabbed my face and said "why do you smell like alcohol?" again, here comes my intelligence...I told her we were drinking ginger ale. Because it had "ale" in the name, I thought it must taste and smell like beer. She did not buy it. For a brief moment the punishment was going to be having to drink a lot to get sick and never want to do it again. She talked it over with my oldest sister, where she had been caught smoking and had to eat or smoke an entire pack of cigarettes. Some did have the sense to think drinking is a little different with a 9 year old. But already the vileness of red wine and coke had put me off so lesson was learned.

That is so funny. On the one hand they say now that diet sodas are terrible for you, the replacements for the sugar are worse than the sugar. But they do studies now where "healthy" fruit juices etc aimed at kids have so much more sugar than just a soda. Everything is corn syrup now. What I especially hate is that when I try to go buy juice and I'm looking for "no sugar added" rather than "sugar free" or even the ones that say "half the sugar" blah, blah every single on has maltodextrin or sucralose which is just the sugar substitute. I'm too lazy to squeeze my own oranges, but why can't I find just juice that nobody put nothing in? not sugar, not corn syrup, not fake sugar?? I've only recently discovered wine I like. I'm definitely not about the bouquet and fancy swirly sniff it and find out if it's oaky or has a fruity finish. Pop some ice cubes in a moscato and I'll go to town like it's kool-aid. Gimme a bottle for $2.50, I'm good.

I don't know about sham-pag-nee, my father had atrocious taste in booze, he once brought home pink champagne and I was like "are you 12?" and I was probably 12, I knew that was crap. We also drank zima in high school/college. I thought it tasted a bit like fresca, my mom liked fresca and I was this many years old when I realized fresca was supposed to be grapefruit flavored. In 600 years that wouldn't have been my guess for what it's "supposed" to taste like. I guess my parents both had some odd taste buds. My mother also liked peanut butter and miracle whip on crackers. *hurl*

We were supposed to have one and I vaguely wanted to go since this was going to be my year of travel...anywho I've never attended one and I think they only get a few attendees and even have to combine 5 years at a time because we were such a small town. But the people I want to see still live there so seeing anyone else would just be a bonus. So, Wednesday we had a "team" meeting, we all call in and then put ourselves on mute, team leader gives us talking points yada yada and for the 3rd meeting in a row, same chick, just won't stfu. She doesn't mute herself and there is no talking point that she does not have a comment or question. One of the leaders, honest to pete, I think was thisclose to just telling her "STFU if you just let me speak I will get to your question". Thursday we are just in our chat place and we have several new people on our team. So whenever they take a break they post "break" or "bathroom", this is not something our team has ever done. so Yappy McHappy posts "are we supposed to be announcing our breaks? was there something in the meeting I missed"? and no one answered for a few minutes. So a couple minutes later I posted "No, we are just co-dependent" which I don't think is particularly offensive, to her or anyone, really. And I usually throw in a random joke every day, I pick on our team leader (he can't cook so he always has uber eats delivered so I always ask "did you bring some for us?") and I poke fun at myself. I do no make fun of others because we are online and people may misconstrue what I say. So I thought I was pretty harmless. 15 minutes later she posts "some people are so nosey and speak when no one is speaking to them" clearly speaking to me. My team leader posted "relax, killa" and I suppose had a chat with her, no one ever said anything to me. I just keep the chat window closed, watch for pop ups but I won't be "chatting" anytime soon. I think she is one of the dumber people on our team, before we started work that day we had to "acknowledge" an email that we agreed to the terms of the meeting the day before and everybody had to walk her through how to find the email, then how to acknowledge the email. I didn't participate in any of that. So she can't say I had been picking on her all day or whatever. I think the things I say are harmless and pointed at myself ( or TeamLeader) I don't think I'm an asshole 24/7 but if anyone is offended by what I say I'm not out trying to hurt people. Another girl on our team posted a comment along the lines of "I'm so proud of myself for not asking for vgh this week (voluntary go home...she asks EVERY FUCKING DAY) and I brought my score up and I brought my points down" We get 12 points, .5 off if you're late clocking in, 1 point if you're absent. late breaks, etc. SHE WAS AT 11.5. You take can earn or take off points by good attendance or making up time, other stuff. so she brought her points down to 10. Our QC scores are supposed to be a minimum of 94, it's kinda hard to score below 98 although I've gotten a 92 when some old lady just really had me off my game and I just couldn't get back on track with her. But usually the scoring is really, really easy. 94 is not difficult to mainting...her score was 70. So she was posting a congratulations to herself FOR DOING THE ABSOLUTE BARE MINIMUM BASICS OF HER JOB, showing up and skating by on her scores. When she posted that I clapped just like everyone else. I didn't point out that it's literally the minimum amount of effort possible. Anyway Yappy McHappy really pissed me off, if I had an official response it would be "suck my dick and choke on it, I yield my time" but since that would get me fired then I just removed myself from the situation. I might have taken it too personally but I don't think I'm just a jerk for jerks sake allll the time.

We voted, pink and black were our colors. We wanted to have "18 and life" as our song but the mentors denied us because it has the word "suicide" in it. So we picked "Bad to the bone" hahahhahahahhahaha we were frikkin morons. I do have all my yearbooks, I was on the yearbook staff. We have some terrible terrible yearbooks. There were some truly talented artists in my school but for some reason we had this kid draw us some weird little dude. It's kinda like the olympic mascot from Atlanta "Izzy" just a blue blob and Izzy is short for "whatisit?" which is the ultimate nothing. So our little dude was the same, a blob with eyes. but yet we coulda had some great stuff

Interesting. I've got "this land is my land, this land aint your land, I've got a shotgun and you aint got one. You better get off, before I blow your head off, this land was made for me not you" IF that aint the national anthem I don't know what is. I was a very disturbed child...while I didn't know all the "things" I knew enough to be dangerous. I had heard the joke "What's the dirtiest thing ever said on television?" and the answer is - Mrs. Cleaver to her husband: "Ward, you were a little hard on the beaver last night." But I didn't get it. "Beaver" didn't strike me as the titular word there. So my understanding of that joke was that Ward was molesting his kid. So I took it in a whole different direction. I'm not sure why I survived childhood being that dumb.

'Nother one, in kindergarden the kids on the bus taught me "We don't need sex education, we don't need no birth control" so I thought those were the words. I also remember seeing a poster for the local football team, Bloomfield Bobcats and whoever their opponent was and the bobcat was stomping on the other dudes helmet. And the caption was "Another one bites the dust" and I remember being so confused. I had no idea what that particular turn of phrase meant and it seemed quite stupid to me. I knew it was a song, I kinda hated the song, just didn't know what it meant. I also didn't know what it meant on "Gimme a Break" (Nell Carter sitcom) when the daughter yelled at her "Get a life" another phrase I'd never heard before, it seemed real dumb but it became very popular. I really wasn't very bright, was I?

Electric Avenue reminds me of watching Friday night videos, we had no MTV and our only access was to watch late nights on Friday nights, loved me some Eddie Grant and they used to play B-52's Rock Lobster. And Mr. Roboto reminds me of my dad, not because he listened to anything remotely rock and roll but because he had been in the Navy and went to Japan so was always saying to us "Domo Arigato, Ichi ban debi chan" which means "thank you very much, number 1 fat boy" Funky town reminds me of going to day camp at my grandma's house when we would visit in the summer. There was essentially nothing fun to do at my grandma's house, no toys, no kids so they'd send us to the local elementary school that had a half day where you could do crafts or slide around on the scooter things in the gym, sometimes get out that parachute thing where you'd toss it up and run under it. I remember them blasting Funky Town while we glued popsicle sticks together. Long car rides wouldn't be music it's Paul Harvey's "and that's the rest of the story" my dad listened to that.

ZACTLY! My hair was always in my eyes Music wise, anything Lawrence Welk-ian reminds me of my mom. She loved some Liberace and Lawrence Welk. Why? I'll never know. And apparently my mom was the person who always misunderstood lyrics. She loved to sing Mairzy doats and doazy doats and little lamzie divey. Which is a built in joke but my mom would forever scream at us about something she thought she heard, bad word in a song and we'd show her the real words. We were watching the MoTown 25 where Michael Jackson moonwalked on tv for the first time and my mother starts screaming that some girls' boob popped out on tv. We had to back the tape up several times and it was Randy Jackson, a boy, who had on a wife beater tank top and yes his nipples were showing but he's a dude. So she called Janets wardrobe malfunction like 10 years too early. The point of the story is my mother never got anything right. My father was a Tennessee Ernie Ford, Jim Reeves and Hank Williams kinda dude. Hank Jr he couldn't stand because he was just leeching on his dad's name and he hated anyone who redid a Hank Williams song. He liked Patsy Cline and she did "Your cheating heart" and he couldn't stand to listen to it but he liked Patsy. Patsy is the only one I've been able to overcome my automatic "have to hate it because my dad liked it" person. He hated Dolly Parton, not sure where he stood on Loretta Lynn. We were not allowed to have posters and music stuff. I got an Alabama record one year and Crystal Gayle but we weren't allowed Michael Jackson posters or Madonna, I did buy my Wham tape but that was my money. My sister got the soundtrack to Grease but I think they thought because it was set in the 50's that it was wholesome. Clearly my parents were idjits because they never listened to the damn thing. I remember my sister telling me there were bad words and I argued with her. Pussy wagon was one (which made no sense to me, why would cats need a car?) Shit and tit were in there and I do remember watching the movie and wondering why John Tabolta was running around with saran wrap. I learned much later that apparently if you were lacking a condom in the olden times you wrapped it up on cling film. I laughed and laughed and laughed. speaking of misheard lyrics in "beauty school dropout" I thought the line was "Mr. McTermsin flunked shampoo" which was actually "missed your midterms and flunked shampoo" OoooOooo another one, we loved Sha-na-na, I guess they had a show and we'd go to bed but then my mom would wake us up for Sha-na-na. I apparently adored Bowser. I was a weird kid.

Wham's "Careless Whisper" reminds me of getting dumped at the middle school dance. One of those afternoon in the school gym dances. Wham in general because that was the first tape I ever bought on my own. Chicago 17 is way up there too. Brian Adams brings up feelings of hate. Oooo Tiffany "My Sharona" reminds me of sitting in my dad's truck with no power steering and I was bopping along turning the steering wheel back and forth and stood up to really get my groove on and my foot found a fishing hook on the floorboard of the truck, it was some kind of 3-pronger. One sunny day we were sitting in the grass near my house and we were singing some Depeche Mode "People are People" and my friend Crystal was placing twigs in my hair because I had enough mousse in my hair to freeze dry my lovely super curly perm...so I dunno what the hell I looked like, a wig made of leaves? Anywho a gold station wagon drove by us and turned around and came back. We were sort of laughing thinking he had to come back for a better view of my twig hair... he gets out and he's wearing overalls, drops his straps and exposes himself to us. We run screaming, me losing most of my beautiful leaves along the way. So Depeche Mode reminds me of a dude waggling his junk at us. Good times. I chopped off all my hair yesterday, it was getting so hot. I haven't had a haircut in like a year, it was just a mess that I had to tie up in a ponytail in order to not have sweaty hair on my forehead and neck all day so why not. chop chop