nachomama

anticipating "the ones who lived?" I don't have amc anymore so we'll see how long it takes me to see them.

Holy cow, never thought forums would be back up

Happy new Year and happy new computer! I am alive! I have a computer from this century that can read and write like a big boy

Congrashulashuns on your stubbornacity! I know it was down for a few days but I can officially no longer access the site from my work computer. I can also no longer access our email. So I have to do both on my phone. I have a super old computer and it can no longer upgrade. We keep it because we cannot upgrade our Heidelberg. That software is like $25k so keep the old computer but he has to get me a laptop or something else so that I can still get stuff from the web. That might be a while (until it inconveniences him. )

I guess I’m getting old. I got a new tv from cyber Monday because I wanna cut the cord so I need a smart tv. And I’m not quite my mom, who could not program a vcr, but close. I think I’m 90% set up. I was able to get the apps like Hulu, britbox, etc set up before I could get it to find my cable box and in the bedroom it still can’t but I think I’m missing 1 hdmi cord. So I got it done but it took me most of the day and I kept saying “I’m not that old!” But then I have been putting together a Spotify list. That def dates me. Everything is old. But what’s odd is most wasn’t even my youth. Being that I grew up in New Mexico with no mtv. We missed the entire “British new wave” you either had top 40 radio, heavy metal or shitkicker country. So I got to college and my friend Candice was singing “rock the casbah” and I would have bet money she made it up. It was not “real”. Then I discovered I did indeed like the clash. Just not Candice Singing it. I have decided I’m Irish. Like Irish Irish. I’m only watching Irish police dramas on acorn or britbox and I got a lot of Irish going on in my Spotify list. And with the passing of Shane McGowan whom I share a birthday with. I was listening to a lot of pogues over the weekend. If Christmas Eve in a drunk tank is not the very description of my soul I do not know what is. But I never knew any of these things when I was growing up. Had to discover them later.

I hope the great turkey bird made all your dreams come true.

Eggsactly! Ain’t nobody gotta leave the room just because he asked. He asked because then there are no witnesses. Your word (former street kid, I believe he implied prostitute) against a trusted professional. And bezhig wasn’t supposed to a lawyer either. The Littlebird parents problem was because they got emotional and fought back. Daddy ended up dead and mom lost her kids. Leave no witnesses is a policy.

So many similarities and even if Esther chose to stay in Regina golda has the means to be there. And I also think she needs to stay and dedicate her career to reversing this shit. I like that she spoke up for Dora and clearly dude didnt know how to handle that. Even if Dora had a “troubled” past he started with “we may not take the baby today” but heavily implied “we will get your baby” and of course she’d freak out. Even if that’s not what he meant he sincerely needed a punch in the face. I know bezhig is who we are supposed to identify with. Hers is the story we are following. But yes Leo and Dora needed a hug too.

I think golda is a very good mother. She gave them space. She seems like excellent grandma material. Although wasn’t entirely sure what she was asking Esther to choose on the way back from visiting the hospital. At first sounded like “you wanna go back to your original family or come back be Jewish with us?” But didn’t seem like an ultimatum. Maybe choose to be a lawyer? I still say Leo and brigit knew mama was alive. I know Esther/ bezhig story is what we were watching but damn Leo and Dora need a hug too. I know it’s implied. And seemed like Dora knew people when she showed up with the baby but the relay of the news etc was not shown to us. I need to hunt up the making of documentary.

Ok was auntie brights husband Eric schweig? I have much less lust for him now which is not nice. But the curl mustache got to go! I’m processing.

I remember your granddaughter being born. For sure positive. A year ago I was in Hawaii but I promise I didn’t set the fire. Just got tickets for Alanis morrissette and Joan Jett. I know I’m old because I’m more excited for Joan Jett. Not that Alanis is for the youngsters any more.

I have to watch this at a specific time each week. I cannot do it after work or before bed. And I have to have something queued up afterwords to lift my spirits. I can’t say I like this show, to recommend, “like” seems wrong. There’s nothing to like. It’s like watching holocaust documentaries or something. I don’t look forward to it other than just wanting to know the end. Not something I could have binged without tearing out my soul. It isn’t fun. I haven’t seen killers of thr flower moon because I feel like that is just 3 hours of rage and pain inducing. I think it’s necessary viewing, for me anyway, but not pleasurable time spent. I don’t get popcorn. No snacks or food. Just curl up in the fetal position and endure. I’m not very sappy or a hugger. I’m an introvert and many people have said I’m intimidating or not very warm or welcoming in new surroundings. But holy shit I can’t imagine adopting a child merely as a worker and stuffing them in the barn and barely acknowledging them. Like how did the North Dakota sister even say the words coming out of her mouth? Maybe they weren’t unkind to him, he sent them the tape, I think more to prove “look I’m more than livestock” not out of showing your “parents” lookee ima be a star or to stay in touch. Although I would have thought he may have tried to look family up. Sigh I don’t know. I just need to hug these people.

Sweet Jesus on a cracker. This is as close to my dads childhood as I’ve ever seen depicted. In the summers my gramma used to rent my dad out as a farm worker. He lived in barn. (Highly doubt even as nice as where niizh lived) so it wasn’t even like my dad was in foster we care. His own mother did it. No wonder he was fucked up. As bad as it is that she lost her brother after literally a day reunited with him I’m glad she called golda. I been thinking golda ultimately has been funding this journey. Maybe adoptive dad has passed? But I don’t think Esther has been working. Been in school so the motels and car rental, food etc on this trip Esther has been charging etc. so golda hasn’t cut her off financially. Part of me wanted David to get out of the car too. But I’m glad golda loves her unconditionally and dropped everything.

The woman who this story is partially based upon runs a shelter now. I’m thinking bezhig could use her lawyering to help other scooped kids find their families by opening some of these legal doors that were slammed in her face. Her adoptive family is well off and or David (if it should come to pass) could help in the support department. She couldn’t work for free and you know these families can’t pay. It isn’t so much a career as it is a journey. I feel like her mother could embrace that once she realizes Esther finding her family doesn’t mean she loses her. Can’t undo the past but you can try to repair the damage and prevent it further. I don’t think Esther wants to hurt her mother either or blames her even. Just had to get beyond what “is” and see what “can be” but yeah David gotta grow a pair.

Her adoptive mothers worst fear is obviously losing her. She officially did nothing wrong. Esther has the right to be mad but not at her. I do think it will come full circle. Esther may lose David (also not to blame) but I think she’ll find a new normal with her mom and the siblings she finds. I don’t think David volunteered to move to the rez with her but to visit. He thinks she will get it out of her system. Go back to her original plan. She may not be a lawyer yet but I feel like she could get further applying her law degree to open these doors. we had neighbors who adopted a boy decades ago. Both of their children were adopted separately. They had been on a list for years for a “white baby girl” and it was taking too long so someone says “well we have a boy he’s 3 ish would that do?” And I guess like buying a car you got a used one with more miles on it?? Anywho no one ever told them that the boy had been severely neglected. He wouldn’t eat. I’m the middle of the night he would get up and go through the trash. He continued to have bed wetting problems until he was a teenager. One day they get a call that their brand new baby girl was ready. And any hope this boy had was lost. They immediately forgot about him. He was second class citizen. If he wet the bed he had to wear bunny ears to school as humiliation. At about 14 they “returned” him. I don’t even know how you do that. But unadopted him. I have no earthly idea what happened to the kid. He wasn’t a bad kid. Normal teenager stuff, got in a little trouble in school but nothing egregious. He could have been helped. esther got very very lucky with where she ended up. Never should have happened …but lucky. I’m sure we’ll see twin brothers journey and I feel like it will be worse than Dora.

I don’t know what I did but I’m in. I had to go a roundabout way to sign in. And it’s sluggish but working. her hair is spot on for 1986 ish. I got an 8th grade pic with almost exactly the same cut and stupid Barrett on one side. And the high waisted pleated pants. The only thing she doesn’t have is an asymmetrical button up shirt/sweater with the high collar or turtle neck.

I do not know what happened on my phone. I got logged out and I can't sign back in. I can click the sign in button but it never goes anywhere. I cannot reply on my computer at work. So ive resorted to tablet. Why does this let me sign in and not my phone? Who knows. anywho, did not know they were twins. Yes I think leo would have more questions. But also think he knows more about mom. I'm sad that daVid doesn't seem to be working out. And very good points she made to her adopted mom, if she's a first generation Jewish survivor she's a "never forget" generation. Esther is named for her mom's sister you'd think she would understand how important it is for Esther to find her family. If mom were to miraculously discover that her sister didn't die in the Holocaust nothing would stop her from meeting her. I get that she doesn't want to believe Esther wasn't mistreated or aBused and her adoption was a lie. Pardon my terrible typing. Working with lame tablet

Watching 3rd episode now. I guess daddy didn’t survive. And good grief could the brother have NOT been a creep? And wtf did mama do after?! Holy crap. One day you got 4 kids then none and no husband. Had to send away the oldest so he wouldn’t get taken.

I think 6 episodes. They are tough to get through.

I’m glad I grew up after this time. I want to say humanity has advanced…not always convinced that’s true. Where I grew up white peoples were the minority. This is not scooping but a friend of mine fell at volleyball practice and bonked her noggin hard enough to give herself a concussion and amnesia. I went to her house and she was scared of me. She remembered her older sister but not her younger sister. They kept asking her questions about family, school etc they were waiting for her mom to get home from work to take her to the doctor. Had been told “do not let her go to sleep” I was being melodramatic but what if she never remembered me? She was physically scared of me. She whispered and asked who was the scary white lady. And I was crushed. Literally 2 hours later she was fine and we laugh and laugh but holy shit you do not know how scared I was. What if she disappeared from my life if was taken ? She is still the most important person in my life and we live 3000 miles away from each other now. People matter, these thousands of families…the impact is enormous

I want to watch the documentary but it fucks me up to put real names and faces on these situations. I’m not quite as old but in my childhood my parents let us out as wild animals in the morning and pretty much didn’t see us again until it got dark. We rode our bikes or did incredibly stupid stuff all day that could have ended up getting us hurt or killed all the time. And they were not “negligent”. We lived in New Mexico. All my little friends are Navajo doing same stupid shit as me. Kills me to think that if we screwed up enough somebody was gonna snatch up a friend and they don’t ever come home but if I was white they just go drop me off my parents and say “darned kids”

Second episode not as hard to watch. (I hope daddy didn’t die) I did google, Esther/bezhig was 5 ish when she was adopted. The little girl playing her, I get it, is older so I was wondering how old she was supposed to be or how much she could remember depending on her age. I was thinking 7-8 ish but supposed to be 5. I get that Dora was kind of the baby and would not remember much.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cyq41SxJl2A/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== check it out. Jim chee sighting

It’s a sad world where I’m like holy cow I think Canada was worse. Generally I think of Canadians as being so nice. And I can’t say definitively they were worse. But every time I hear another report of burial sites of the children at the residential schools I silently pray it wasn’t the USA. Doesn’t make it any better. A child is still a child. They had some kind of “homecoming “ for the remains of a bunch of children found in Oklahoma. From nearly a hundred years ago but they gave them a funeral and it just breaks your heart

Oh yeah. I understand the distrust. And nope poverty wasn’t a criteria. It wasn’t so rare to not have plumbing or electricity because it was prohibitively expensive to get so remotely. Their house was clean. The kids weren’t abused. As long as the kids attended school there should have been no problem. Other than the one sick child hidden in a crawl space. That looked bad but we obviously see why she did it. Do we even know which kid our adult is? Was she the youngest sick one or the oldest girl who tried to warn her brother not to shoot the car?