yourmomiseasy

What does Jules speaking Spanish have to do with naming her kid Rio? Maybe the kid was conceived in Rio or they just like the city. Maybe they hope that one day the kid will dance in the sand. Maybe they just liked the sound of it. Maybe Michael, who does speak Spanish, picked the name. At least it isn't Jagger. She wasn't suddenly eloquent or anything, but I thought she did well for her. A lot of what she was asked was really uncomfortable and it seemed like maybe on the advice of her lawyer she couldn't talk about some of the divorce stuff because the questions she did answer she started with "I can say that..." I enjoyed Dorinda's light B shade a lot and liked it even more when Ramona tweeted in disagreeing and Dorinda wasn't having any of it.

Jules looked amazing on WWHL. Divorce agrees with her. Dorinda looked great too.

Not only that, but you can see that she's doing some weird contouring shit to her nose too and I'm sure it isn't helping matters.

Because it can't be said enough, Kelly is trash with a fucked up face, a creepster husband, a creepster brother, a Jeri Blank mom, and an unending supply of shitty puns.

For a minute I thought that in a surprise twist Julia was going to get caught trying on the guests clothes and be the one to go home. Bryan is a douchelord, but him tricking Danny into riding a donkey up the cliff was funny.

How about B's friend from high school whose husband B is currently fucking?

I get meals from a delivery service (Freshly) and most the of the breakfasts are omelets or frittatas and they come out of the microwave really well. The Freshly meals are even sent from out of state and there's no problem. I used to get meals from a local service where they were cooked locally and brought to my door via courier and those eggs were fine too. To me it looked more like that's what she was heating up. LA has no shortage of these services and it would make sense if you didn't have a kitchen and didn't want to live on take-out for every meal.

I just can't bring myself to care about Rachel and Mike being separated and I feel like the show really wants me to. Maybe if I had ever cared about them as a couple it would work and actually tug at my cold shriveled up heart. I did find it funny that the one thing keeping them apart was Mike being "noble" and ditching her ass at the altar since if she was his wife she wouldn't have to wait a month to get on his list.

Five nines is the gold standard in high availability. It means your servers are up and reachable 99.999% of the time. That translates to roughly just over 8 hours of downtime per year. How uptime is measured, what counts as an outage, and how many nines are required are all negotiated as part of your SLA (service level agreement). Five nines is usually cost prohibitive for most companies so you'll settle for three or four nines, which is still really good. Unfortunately, I have spent my fair share of time negotiating SLAs and then keeping track of downtime because a lot of the time those SLAs will have monetary compensation (usually in the form of bill credit) for deficiency of uptime. So anyway, short story long, five ninths is just a play on words indicating that the servers are down so much it feels like we're barely hitting just over 50% uptime (5/9 uptime vs. 99.999% uptime). I'm sure the date 5/9 was picked on purpose by the show because five nines is a standard tech term.

I don't care if Jules's blog was written by the Easter Bunny as dictated to Santa Claus, it's still a thing of beauty.

I don't know how I missed it last season, but I love that the hack was on 5/9 because no matter where I've worked the joke has always been we might not have five nines uptime, but at least we're achieving five ninths.

That was painful.

Both adding and not adding the ending S are considered correct in that instance. It's a style choice. There's a difference between being cordial/keeping your distance and talking shit about someone/making fun of them within earshot.

The guests really ran Julia. I feel like they were doing it on purpose as a power play too because it wasn't enough that the crew was there to serve them, they had to exert their power and show they were "better" and in charge by making the crew really work. What was on the bathroom counter that was so gross? The camera focused on it, but I couldn't tell what it was. It was extra funny to me when Danny looked like he was about to cry over the unfairness of not being able to Instagram. Danny re: vibing with a guest: "how often does this happen?" Me: "Every charter." That poor girl stuck in the car with him while he's trying to make plans with her for off the boat. I'm okay with Ben name dropping the princes because it seemed like it was all talking head and used to explain where he was coming from. At this point I'm kind of not sure why I keep watching this show. I don't like anyone enough to overpower my dislike for some of them, but it's not in the hate watch category either.

I normally don't like Abby and the kids at all, but Connor just going about his morning and not noticing the dead body gave me a chuckle. Of course had he noticed the body he would have been all psycho and excited about it.

If they'd just flown and shipped the car we would have missed out on the "zany hijinks" of Vicky on a road trip like retching at cow farts and helping her grandson poop on the side of the road. I know someone that recently had their Bentley shipped across the country and it was less than a dollar per mile and that was ultra luxe shipping where it was in its own race car trailer and was detailed before being dropped off to him. It's not an outrageous expense and I'm sure there are less fancy options that are even more economical.

I hate the new girl and her stupid face and her even stupider puns. I might like her stupid mom though.

I think the funniest part of this episode for me was Jen's repeated insistence that "any idiot" could tie the knots if they sat down with a book for 90 minutes when she couldn't tie the knots and didn't seem to be willing to sit down with said book. I guess she's okay not being able to do something that is expected of her that "any idiot" should be able to do.

A colonic goes in the same end it comes out. I think you're supposed to drink Jules's concoction with your mouth.

I think Carole said tickets were $150 or $200, so it sounds like most of the money went to fund the event.

Not just waiting but going out for drinks multiple times and shopping at Home Goods.

So all the dogs were a backdoor ad for the Secret Life of Pets and the Homegoods excursion was also a paid promotion, right? Because both had special ads during the commercial breaks.

Why would Carole take Baby to a photoshoot and not get her groomed first? It sounded like she didn't even brush her at home before going to the shoot. This kind of stuff bugs me.

Sometimes I feel like the recaps are written to troll the forum posters.

I just don't like Landon because I can't stand listening to her talk and her nervous giggling. I don't think I'd mind her silly flitting around from stupid business idea to stupid business idea and other nonsense if she didn't make my head hurt with her dolphin squeaks.