satrunrose

The interesting thing I find is that it's calling out Kaylee for being a try-hard, and now here's Kaylee trying so hard to replicate Jill's model of perfect life through plexus. It makes me feel really sad for her.

This episode gave me the feeling that I get with a lot of HGTV shows, "Looks great, but how will it look when you've got all of your life stuff everywhere?" I don't get that feeling a lot with Home Town, but really unless the younger woman is queen of the minimalists that teeny room is going to feel so claustrophobic once her stuff is moved in.

I'm afraid I'm not following the questioning in the pinned note. Is the original poster being gently chided for using the term unbalanced? Is the note agreeing with what the original poster seemed to be saying (ie the idea that criticism can be blunt and sometimes repetitive in the threads)? Also, to what extent can an internet community be held accountable for the comments of single members, especially in an electronic forum where we are both strangers and not at the same time (Schrodigner's buddies?) The term unbalanced was used by a single poster and not elaborated upon by others. Does that make it a community action? Or is the fault in the community for not critiquing the member for a lack of sensitivity to mental health?

Sadly, in Tim's world working for a MLM is practical employment. Since he's not likely to make much of a living tormenting people in coffee shops, hopefully he'll have to keep moving towards something less scammy (I know, it's a long shot).

Zella, just thought this is the right time to mention that I've really enjoyed reading your posts. I really appreciate the insight you've brought being from Arkansas and how you've used that to push back on the bumpkin image they hid behind.

Slight, (very, very slight) kudos to Timbits for having an actual job where he is, presumably, working for someone. It is disheartening to see that so far all of the jr Rods have been made in the image of Jill.

You know, I think this last conversation is emblematic of one of the big reasons why this approach to moderation is problematic. Without knowing what was objected to and why, in a vacuum of information, it's easy to jump to conclusions as to who found what offensive enough to complain and the motivations behind that. That means that instead of having a space where one could, theoretically, have a respectful debate about what makes a family structure or a person fair game for criticism (or not), everyone gets really defensive because they want to protect things that are important to them.

I would support an instruction to change Cade's nickname and there is precedent for that. (See changes to David Rod's nickname and the struggle to find a nickname that was appropriate for Josh). It's actually a good example of a specific directive that would be really useful in this situation. For the Claire and Justin situation, it seems like it's a little more nuanced. Directly wishing infertility for them is over the line, but is it wrong to question whether it's not for the best that such a young couple aren't having baby after baby, especially when we know what this cult does to its children? I would argue that the second is a nuanced debate starter, which is what we're supposed to be after.

Oh, I agree with that too! The stuff that's been posted in Sweet Fellowship lately has led me to some really interesting pondering about at what point do we become responsible, or considered responsible, for our own choices despite our upbringing. I've also really enjoyed lots of thoughtful conversations (Consent in Bridgerton: discuss) all over this site. I guess for me, before it was like coming to a party. Sometimes you make small talk, sometimes you make silly comments, and sometimes you end up in a corner debating whether we exist at all until three in the morning. With this new thing, it seems like more of a symposium or a class and it feels like, well, work, to make sure that everything I contribute adds to the sum of human understanding and virtue. As it stands now (and I admit, my usual response to change is 'nooo! tooo much pressure!') it seems like things are going to be a lot less relaxed and organic now.

Issue 1: I'm concerned that this shift is causing some problems with the paradox of tolerance (where people say that if you are tolerant, you must also be tolerant of intolerance). I can see that if your values align more with the Duggars and Co. that this isn't a fun place to hang out, but do we want it to be? Issue 2: I'm not sure what exactly we've done wrong and have no clue how to fix it in a month. Feedback needs to be specific if it's going to achieve the desired goal. If the issue is mostly the thread titles, and for the record, I'm not attached to any of them, how do the members go about changing them to stave off having the forum shut down? Issue 3: In my day job I'm all about inspiring respectful and challenging conversations and good global citizenship, but work also burns me out so that when I come home, I just want to enjoy reading about and snarking on the latest antics of the Rods and co. I can (and want to be) polite and respectful of other posters and conscientious of the fact that these are real people we're talking about, but if we can't be light and silly sometimes, I think I'll need to find somewhere else for internet leisure reading. I'm in the same boat, although I have to say, I'm in the Bridgerton forums more because I want an excuse to think of Anthony in a wet shirt than to pursue self-transformation.

Wait, so Jer brought his less than a week away from delivery wife to a bog by helicopter? I can't even.

So much for the hope the Papa Ben changed his mind about the "blessings" of early marriage after Jessa and Ben.

It seems like the fundie family bands follow a predictable formula that mirrors how they treat their umpteen kids in general 1- Oldest (girls mostly). Fairly decent. Can play, if not particularly well. There is usually one kid who is pretty good (Jill's harp, Erin's piano) 2- Middles: Can play...sort of, but don't seem to progress beyond can play the notes, most of the time 3- The littles: can hold an instrument (no one ever seems to actually teach them to play). Can yell/sing cutesy songs about Jesus (and sometimes America). Never seem to develop farther than cute kids who "sing".

And they say romance is dead.

I'm just picturing Jill using 'a few words of Spanish' with the (ugh) natives and I honestly don't know whether to laugh or cry. Do you think some of the words she learned were "Una Americana muy fea" or "Soy catolica, estupida"?

I think it's all part of the Rod rebranding. For a long time, the "Dutiful Christians eschew jobs for the glory of God. Give us money so the waifs won't starve!" was their brand, as it were. Now the kids are growing and gaining weight as they get married/ find access to Bible College pizza and I suspect that while the waifs did encourage Love Offerings, they also inspired more than one call to Child Services. So Jill rebranded. Instead of martyr mom, she's now a successful entrepreneur! She's fun! She's wacky! She's her waifs' bestie! And you too can have all of this through the bounty of plexass (ugh)! Except, problem! I think most of the Rods' income must still come from printshop donations and dollars to doughnuts the people who are sponsoring pamphlets are the people who like Jill's oft-repeated standing firm against the wickedness of modernity nonsense. She's screwed if she shows pics of swimsuits, she's in trouble from the other end if she goes after Plexus peeps for sluttishness, I'm guessing bowling despite the oh-so-torn shoulder was the safest bet.

What are the chances that Jill wore denim in the hot tub (And DBD wore the same pants)?

Yeah, I'm happy to make fun of our Rad homie and there's a lot I don't much care for about him, but they have two kids who are pretty spaced out and not a peep about trying for more (Credit where credit is due, I really expected Jer to keep pushing until he had at least a couple of sons). I'm not saying that their quiver is full (ugh) and they may end up with more, but I don't get the same sense of someone using pregnancy and kids to control their wives with Jer as I do from Cade.

If you got a burn from your fireplace, you're doing it wrong.

On principle, I'm pissed that Jill is going on this trip when the money they have should be going to the waifs (food for starters) but the rest of me is delighted to see how Jill deals with the fact that most of her valued sisters-in-plexas are going to be cavorting sluttishly and surely, surely out to steal her hunk! And let's face it, in the mind of Jilldo, the options aren't Punta Cana vs. food and nicely fitting clothes for the kids. It's Punta Cana vs fixing the stink bus, or a third upstairs attic for her crap.

I'm sure there are a lot of deep psychological issues at play for Carlin (and Evan too, Mr I can quit a good career to watch my wife not faint). I'd be interested in hearing more about your research, Diml1. I also think that this couple, the most of all of the Bates and Duggars, would have really benefitted from a more mainstream experience. I feel like most of what they do, (look for attention, seek instant gratification, focus on fun over responsibility) would be totally normal for a (probably unmarried) couple in a crappy apartment having the kind of early-mid twenties hijinx you half remember fondly, half wildly regret. What makes this a problem is the kids. Being a good parent and being Party! Party! all_the_time aren't really compatible and the kids are getting treated like something between pets and roommates. Also, Carlin's peers (ie siblings because of Gothard's anti-friendship nonsense) are all having an, on the surface, at least, easier time of growing up and getting responsible. That means they're leaving C and E behind.

It's really hard to go anywhere quickly when you're in a motorhome. In the best case scenario you're dry camping (ie. not hooked up to utilities) and you need about 10 minutes to make sure that everything's locked and tied down. In a campground situation, it would be more like 30 mins to get unhooked and have everything put away. It's a huge pain to go to all that trouble because Jill forgot her eyeliner and she won't stop screaming until you make a Walmart run (with pamphlets, of course). Motorhomes are also really hard to manoeuvre and park. They need either multiple spots or specially designed ones. So, if you need to do any kind of a quick trip to a busy place with traffic, the car's a lot easier. I mean, my family traveled by motorhome without a car in the summers, but we mostly planned around it by taking public transit into urban cores or, the odd time, renting a car once we got where we were going.

Honestly, even if they did get Michelle's famous bankruptcy lesson, the howlers (who do the wildest spending) were really little at the time. We also know that JB is far from transparent with the money and they mostly remember life with tv money, not the tiny house and donated clothing. I think between not having a lot of exposure to normal life finances and not having the wherewithal to do the math and realize that even the millions JB is supposed to be sitting on won't cover 19 kids and their kids forever, it makes sense that they seem to be burning through money. Plus, I'm just learning to accept that the way influencer fundies do money (see Bateses and Rodriguii) is a mystery for the ages.

Part of the Duggars 'ministry' at the time of the show seems to have been providing housing and chaperonage for young adult members of the cult who were old enough to live on their own by any reasonable standards but couldn't actually do that (or work 9-5, or go to school) 'cause Gothard. They seems to have been put to work for Duggar inc (if male) or recruited to teach the younger kids and sister mom (if female). There were a bunch who arrived and vanished over the course of the show, including Anna's wayward sister Suze. They seemed to be good friends with the Duggar kids, for a slightly positive spin on what seemed a bit like indentured servitude. On a darker note: there was a kid named cousin Emily who showed up in FF's family pics and may have been filling the same role at about age 12.

I know little to nothing about raising sheep, but isn't protecting them from a cold snap a fairly easy (and humane) thing to do?