wovenloaf
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Posts posted by wovenloaf
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As gross as Joe is (and Samantha pawing/whatevering him on television in the pool? *barf* Get it together, girl.), I gotta agree with him that these guys have to mind their own business. Who are these dudes? I'm always amazed at how the show manages to find enough overly-gossipy men to even make these shows. Or men to play along with the script I guess, but Dan seemed to legitimately care...
I also found it entertaining when Joe was like "Nah we didn't talk very much. Just on text, phone, and social media." So...pretty much all the ways to have non-face-to-face communication with a person, short of smoke signals and the postal service (which is only for "old" people, no doubt)? They sure did go from "not talking much" to "handy in the pool" in a flash!
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Judging by the preview for tonight's episode, I don't think Samantha will 'dump' Joe. She seems to be pretty in to him and doesn't seem to care about his 'wrongdoing'. I hope they both leave, for being annoying as shit.
I think she dumps him next week right? Keeps him this week, then sends him home next week?
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Joe's a skeeze. And he clearly gets a kick out of being mean. But when will all the other people just give up trying to talk to him. Let him ride off into the sunset with Samantha and forget about it. Jeez. And "emotional abuse"? Give me a break.
Samantha looks a lot older (I'm using "older" in the Bachelor sense) when she takes her makeup off/it comes off when she's tumbling around the pool.
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Can't stand Fallon. Fake as hell. Comments on every girl's looks when she's not even that attractive herself. I thought Stephanie was beautiful. Fallon looks like one step away from zombie, with those bug eyes and gaunt cheeks. I'm not at all surprised that Chris kept her. He's completely snowed over by her. He thinks she is this "real" girl who put her feelings on the line. What I saw was a jealous psycho who was telling him she was upset that he was talking to other people. I don't know how he translated that into "she opened herself up to me and I respected that".
Mason is too good for Kerri and it seems like she's decided that she wants Chris and won't choose Mason in the end so therefore just cut him loose now.
Fallon is just so bad at playing her "I'm so confident" game. At least to those of us who aren't too busy drooling all over like Chris is. She's like "I'm not even thinking about these girls." Um. Actually, it appears to be the ONLY thing you're thinking about. Still love how the only thing Chris ever says about her is "She's super hot." I know after their talk he was like "she really opened up," but during the actual talk he looked scared and confused! I was hoping she had let the jealousy and anger out of the bag too early and he would pick that other woman, but then that lady gave him her weird ultimatum and my hopes were dashed... Ugh. These people suck.
Regarding Mason though - he seriously irritates me! I feel like everything he says sounds like lyrics to a cheesy country song. Like, he sat down and memorized the lyrics so that he could dole out overblown versions of them when the time's right. As if he's an actor playing "heartfelt guy named Mason." Glad I don't have to listen to his lines anymore.
Seems like there has been a fair amount of weirdos from New York. And why so many Italians who are very Italian?I think the answer might be: They did a casting call in Queens.
I think in the first couple episodes, there were a lot of people from Houston? They were just way more forgettable than the loud Italian dudes.
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And I agree, I don't think the judges on this show are very good at all in terms of their decisions. I don't see why Dave has so much input when he has a ton of shit tattoos and no tattooing experience. The other two aren't the best tattooers I've seen either. There are plenty of artists online with portfolios that blow theirs out of the water. I'm convinced that the guy with the toothpick in his mouth is trying to disguise/distract from his lisp.
I was just talking to Mr. Wovenloaf about Dave's judging last night and we both feel like most of the time Oliver and Chris (and sometimes guest judge too) are the ones pronouncing the loser - as in, pretty often they just agree about the person going home, and Dave's really only casting tie-breaking votes occasionally. Which I don't think is an accident... I think the show is set up to not have Dave making people angry - he's hosting, being way nicer even when he doesn't like something (which is probably mostly just due to him not being anywhere near as much of an asshole as the other two, but I think it's also edited to be that way), and only bringing the hammer down on people if he has to. So I don't think that his judging input is actually that great, unless Oliver and Chris decide they don't want to agree on that particular day.
Also, regarding lisp - yes! I have wondered if the dumb toothpick was causing the lisp, but I think you're probably right that he's just trying to fool me into thinking that.
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I wish that judge would take that nasty toothpick out of his mouth while he speaks. Watching people use toothpicks under normal circumstances is gross but while talking? Seems disrespectful and also disgusting.
Oliver Peck grosses me out. The toothpick and the dumb mustache. Yuck.
And Nunez thinks way too highly of himself. And he was wearing a polka dot sweater in this episode? Is he in his hipster phase now...? Not a good look for you, pal.
Dave, though. Oooh I treasure Dave. He never looks like a slob, and he manages to pull off a look that I would generally dislike on other people. And for some reason I love his voice - it's so...soothing or something. <3 Ok, I'm done fawning now!
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Joe openly talked about hoping Samantha was coming soon in front of Mikey. So why didn't Mikey mention that. Not sure Joe could have talked himself out of that because others were at the table too.
I wondered that too. I think maybe they were trying to spare her feelings by being vague about him being a "wrong reasons" guy in general, instead of outright saying "He's just biding his time until Samantha - who he's actually into - comes along."
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I think Ashley I.'s meltdowns are more like random crying and blubbering, but are still relatively harmless. Clare's meltdowns tend to involve more yelling at other people. Also, Ashley I.'s are more directed at herself - like she starts talking about how no one likes her or she can't be happy. Versus Clare's that tend to lash out at other people - where she's accusing other people of random things, blaming the people next to her for why she's alone, etc. (I guess Ashley I. does that some too, but she says it in her confessional or to her sister or whatever, not actually to the other person, that I've seen). Both types of meltdowns are obnoxious, but I can totally see how Ashley's would somewhat easier to deal with.
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As far as I can remember, people were playing the game last season as well. Clare just can't help having a dramatic meltdown every time things aren't going her way. I don't think she means harm and she's probably a really sweet person in real life, but she is so ridiculously dramatic with her emotions. I think her OTT'ness is what turned Jared off, not her age.
Yeah, I totally think she was making excuses for her own sadness about not being in a [2-day long?] loooooove relationship. But I don't think she meant it like "None of you individual people want to find love right now." I can believe plenty of them are delusional enough to be actually looking for love in "Paradise" right now, and we know Clare is!
She's just so extreme - like it's the best thing ever when Jared wants her, then he randomly tells her she's old (rude!) and now everything is wretched and horrible. She was like that Zach last season if I remember correctly. "Omg [this boring lump] Zach is so amazing." *3 seconds later* "GAAAH life is barely worth living anymore!!!" (I'm exaggerating, I know). I like Clare a lot and she makes entertaining television, but for her own sake she has to get a grip, somewhere that isn't this show.
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JJ and Jonathan both left their kid, and they've had back-to-back seasons.
JJ has a kid?? How did I miss that. He acts like a 5 year old. His kid is probably more mature than he is.
I didn't get the impression Clare was saying that no one was there this year to find love, some are into playing the game more than developing solid relationships, or whatever she thinks the show should be.
I thought maybe she was getting at the fact that people are onto the game of BiP now, versus last season it was kind of new and the cast didn't know entirely what to expect. I can see how Jade could interpret it the way she did though. But I still want Jade to be quiet. And I want Clare to have more random outbursts, ha!
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I thought it was so mean that they were asking Tenley about her ex's baby. What purpose would bringing all that up serve besides just being mean? They could have just asked something general like "How did it feel to get back into the dating world?" or the like. Not "So I heard the baby was born on the same exact day as this show aired, blahblahblah babybabybaby that's so terrible you must feel like shit, tell us how you feel!"
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My god, Joe was brutal. The way he dismantled Jonathon? Wow.
I really perked up when Clare started to lose it...! Wtf was that? Ha! I don't think she'll leave. The producers will get one of the guys to pretend he's not terrified of her and go say some Bachelor buzz words to her, just in time get her rose.
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Well, we only know how they feel about "Old" female people. I don't presume he's young.
"Mistress" means she's the "secret" one. He has a girlfriend he is seen with in public, and then the "mistress" is the one he has just for sex.
I bet the guy is at least in his 40's, likely 50's and Lauren feels very superior to the "Old" girlfriend. And he probably buys Lauren gifts, because that's part of the "mistress" thing - being a "kept woman". Pays her rent, gives her an allowance, jewelry, whatever.
The difference between Mistress and girlfriend is that one relationship is public, one is hidden. He's not cheating on Lauren, he's cheating on his main relationship.
Yes...I was talking about him cheating on the main girlfriend. I know what the definition of "mistress" is. My comment was directed at the connotation that pops into my head when I hear the word, which (in my head) doesn't mesh with whatever Lauren was trying to describe.
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Mistress usually implies a wife or that he pay all your expenses or both. I got the sense that Lauren was the second type of mistress but she didn't want to imply that she was a golddigga for some reason.
Instead, she acted like she was the heroine of a Harlequin novel - the type with the tabloid titles like The Greek Gazillionaire's Pregnant Mistress - where everyone insists on using the term 'mistress' instead of the word 'girlfriend'.
I thought it was strange because I don't really think of some 24-27 year old unmarried guy having a "mistress." But he can't be very old because we all know how Lauren feels about those 30-ish "old" people, right? ...so it was weird to me that she called herself a "mistress" when not only was he not married, he's presumably pretty young. So he's just some lame mid-20s dude cheating on his girlfriend. Lauren's an idiot. I agree that she's trying to imbue the situation with some sort of "illicit romance" element in her own head. Her blindness would be sort of sad if she wasn't a person who spends all her time being obnoxious and tearing other people down.
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I'm a bit on the fence about Josh's presumed drug use also. We know little about his welding career, and how long it's been since he's been in a working metal shop, but most have incredibly stringent programs regarding random drug testing issues. From a liability standpoint, it's a very hazardous environment. The fact that he casually referred to using on camera tells me he's either clean, or is an absolute idiot with no plans to ever return to metal work. No telling which at this point.
I didn't like how JJ kept talking down about his welding career. (I don't actually like anything about JJ, but this in particular irritated me). He was acting all high and mighty about it, I guess because it's a "blue collar" job, and because JJ's an idiot who thinks welders just haphazardly bang metal together all day. But out of the guys that have been on this show, it's not like they all had such prestigious careers, or careers at all for that matter... A lot of their titles have sounded like made up ways to get around saying "barely employed." And wasn't there a guy on Kaitlyn's season who was a male stripper, and another one who called himself some sort of amateur sex coach?? And yet another one who's title was just "Healer"?? Bunch of winners there. Yo JJ, being a "Former Investment Banker" makes you no less unbearable.
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I was surprised by how many of these designers seemed to be living rather comfortably. Much different from the earlier days, with Christian Siriano sleeping in his closet and Fabio's "freegan" lifestyle.
Right! I noticed that too. Candice's house was so nice (don't care for motorcycles in the living room, but I liked the house itself!), and it's in SF, so that house is nooot cheap. Maybe she's got a husband/partner with some sort of lucrative career? For people on this show without a partner to help with the bills, I imagine the "I spend all my time designing clothes because designing clothes is all I want to do" narrative is actually "I go to work all day at x job and design clothes in my free time" (at least for the ones who seem to be living pretty comfortably).
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I would assume it means the same exact thing as it does anywhere else.I might be being a tad snarky, but what does "upper middle class" mean in Alabama?
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The way Tim phrased it, I wasn't sure what he meant. Was it the first time anyone didn't bring a toolkit, or was it the first time they TOLD people to bring their own toolkit. Because things like scissors, rotary cutters, rulers, seam rippers, I can understand why you'd have a favorite one that you're used to and want to bring, but on the other hand, they're also pretty generic and it's perfectly reasonable to think that they'd be provided. They don't make them bring their own sewing machines or mannequins!
That had to be a setup, right? It's the 14th season and I don't recall that ever happening before, but now 3 people do it? Nah. I think that had to be some manufactured drama.
So... not a horrible start... though I disagree with who they sent home... probably in part because I liked Duncan and thought it'd be interesting to see what else he could do. As someone else mentioned, he seems like one who is very open to criticism and would be listening to the judges and making changes (although I don't know if listening to the judges is always a good thing :P )
I felt like Heidi was giving him a hard time for no real reason...she seemed pissed that he was just graciously accepting their criticism without being like "Gee, yeah, I did awful!" I guess a person who doesn't have some sort public display of emotion about their dashed self esteem every time the judges speak to them doesn't make sense in the producer universe.
It's too early for me to remember everyone or if I like their designs, but I will say this, I hate Merline. If I had to listen to her "singing" all day, I would have stuck my scissors in her eye. Also, was she really calling it "Muslim" instead of "muslin"? Isn't that sewing 101? I also didn't like her clothes, so basically, I want her gone ASAP.
I think it might just be Living-in-the-world-blessed-with-a-sense-of-hearing 101...she's dumb. I did like her dress though.
My gosh, did Zac Posen have most of his facial skin planed off? The Botox is pretty obvious, but his whole face is now Ken-doll smooth. Creepy-looking.
Right! There was something so off about him. I couldn't figure out what it was, but I think you're right that it was some sort of extreme facial peel or something. I think his hair was also different? It looked more flattened down on his head that I think it normally does. He's normally so spiffy and cute!!!
(edited b/c typos!)
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I loved Ashley's - the skirt, the shirt, the combo, and especially the skirt. I'm glad she won. And she also seems like she's a nice person - which I find refreshing with so many catty people on here!
Little dude that's like "what kind of person isn't capable of making something amazing?" And then makes a frumpy mess that TG compares to a lunch bag (that was his right?). Ha! Serves him right.
Why was that guest judge blatantly laughing at numerous people? Yeesh, mean!
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Chris slept with the stripper too?
No I think Katie and Fallon were the only 2 he slept with.
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Yeah, Fallon is horrible person. I couldn't take how she kept talking about how Harley wasn't "classy" - yet she, Fallon, is on DATING NAKED, and got with Chris in the shower less than 48 hours after she met him and approximately 24 hours after he got with Katie. Most importantly - she's on DATING NAKED. She also made racial jokes about Johanna (who seemed very nice) and then proceeded to dupe her into being more drunk than everybody else. Tell me about class some more, Fallon.
Nice D & J tattoos, DJ. Maybe he forgets his own name?
The best editing part for me was when Chris was in his talking head like "I need to get into [Harley's] head some more," and then it immediately switched to footage of him spraying a garden hose directly at her crotch. Ha! Okay.
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Really?! Tenley is 3 yrs younger than Claire? Huh.
2 years I think. Tenley is 31 and Clare is 33, to my knowledge.
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I fear that Jared is going to turn in to this year's Graham (Graham, right? Wasn't that the guy who got trapped into giving Ashlee roses every week?). He's going to keep giving Ashley I. a rose because she's stalking him and sobs every time he does something other than continually assure her she's not an idiot (which he has to know she is, right?). So he's just scared of the sobbing, like Grant was scared of getting screamed at. Just say no, guys!!!
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Yeah that intro was amazing. And it only took 5 minutes to have Clare consulting a crab for advice. Love it.
Oh my god JenE4, thank you so much for reminding me of the Ryan Putz jump!!! Incredible.
Did they show all the guys giving their rose? I feel like in the 2 seconds it took me to pour a cup of tea, I missed several of them. Whatever.
Tenley seems desperate. But I think she's pretty.
Does Clare seem like she's trying too hard in the talking heads...? She seemed a little...unnatural or something in them.
Oh and whoever said in last episode's forum that Jade has some weird boob/cleavage thing going on - yeah. I noticed it tonight. Wonky. It was like they were being pulled apart, yet she was wearing a flimsy dress that wasn't even holding them up?
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S02.E05: Episode 5
in Bachelor In Paradise
The main source of my dislike of Joe stems from how creepy he was in the last episode, with the Mikey and Jonathan business Particularly the creepy scolding and creepy "comforting" of Jonathan (I still haven't quite gotten over how uncomfortable that was to watch). I don't think he's gross because my heart hurts for Juelia. I think he's gross because he gets off on manipulating other people, gets handjobs on television, and generally acts like an asshole merely for his own enjoyment. I'm not even particularly miffed about the Juelia incident, and he mostly just made me laugh last night (in a "god I love this nightmare of a show" type of way). I mean, Juan Pablo was and still is my favorite person ever on any of these shows - I'm all about those Wrong Reasons. But Joe is too far for me - he's not a villain in a fun or just stupid way...he's a villain in a "Wow this guy has the potential to wreak serious emotional havoc on the actual people in his life" type of way.