cereality

I'd be happy to be wrong but honestly to me this sounds like another one of those fundie dreams that their sons talk about but don't know how to pursue it/don't have the skills or confidence to pursue it, but they keep talking about it and then the dream dies by the time they're 25ish because it's time to court and marry and have a litter of kids to support and that's hardly the time dad can be off at bootcamp (I mean in regular families yeah guys do it all the time but for this family -- noooo that would be too heartbreaking for dad to have to go away and you know provide actual $ and benefits for his kids). I mean didn't one of the Duggar boys talk about wanting to be an accountant (Josiah I think?) -- yeah I think he's out there hawking used cars with his brothers. I'm not even sure if Jackson has a GED. I feel like for the Bates and also the Duggars while the older kids may have at least at GED but the younger kids, schooled by geniuses like Carlin just did whatever curriculum came from the religiously based software and got a print out diploma at the end. The Marines is the only branch (I believe) that takes a small % of people with no high school degree or GED but then you still have to take an Armed Services Vocational test and your score on that shows you have the minimum English/math to enlist and that score has something to do with your post bootcamp assignments. If G&K really wanted to be supportive, wouldn't Gil have gone down to the recruiting center with him by now, had this discussion and then had him do a bunch of the practice tests to see if he was scoring high enough and if he isn't, then get him enrolled in a bunch of math classes at community college or even someplace like Crown to make sure he's up to speed? Or decide that maybe it's not a good idea to stake his whole military career on one test -- and if he does bad he ends up serving sloppy joes at Fort Bragg after bootcamp -- and then say -- hmm your siblings don't have a GED, but you need one for this, let's make a 6 mo plan to get that done including allowing him to enroll in GED classes at a community college, even though it'd mean sitting next to blue haired kids per Erin (though these days you only see the blue haired kid virtually so win win). I also don't see him doing it because it'd be mind blowing for him and more importantly for G&K and G&K and the siblings have a way of influencing/talking them out of stuff. I mean you join the Marines, a good 15-25% of your bootcamp class will be minorities including people who look different from them like African Americans or Hispanic Am; guaranteed a good % of your class will be guys who aren't Christian, aren't practicing any faith, or [gasp] have done things that are un-christian like impregnate a girl who isn't their wife and then decide they must join the Marines to support said baby and said girl who they may or may not ever marry. The enlisted ranks are full of very young fathers looking for a way to provide. H'es also going to run into guys from inner cities, guys who'll tell him they joined up because otherwise life consisted of living with in one bedroom NYC apartment with 6 family members. None of these are bad things. In fact he and all of them NEED to open their eyes to life that isn't white fundies in rural America. But I can picture how mind blowing this would be when I think back to his then probably 25ish year old brother go on and on about visiting Ashley for the first time -- "there was a door, then another door, then another and all the houses shared walls" -- uh yes Nathan they're called row houses, did you think every house in America was 5 miles from the nearest neighbor?? To say nothing of -- you could be and likely will be reporting to some female commanders; you don't make your schedule so if that means you're working on I Love You Day or Thanksgiving or when grandkid number 6000 comes or frankly even on Katie or Nathan or whoever's wedding day, oh well -- no one is cutting you any slack for that. I don't see it. Plus in the last year or 2 it was shown that J really looks up to Zach and was sitting down with Z to make a plan for the future. That plan involved working construction, which he's now doing for Chad. He goes back to Z with this -- and Z as much as he has carved out a life -- will NOT encourage it -- because it'll involve a move out of Rocky Top. He has carved out a life but believes in being 100% local. Z made a fairly big deal more than once about -- Trace CANNOT move to Texas, that's a big thing to ask TRACE to move blah blah. No way he's going to encourage Z to go to bootcamp in South Carolina and then live wherever the Marines want him for the next 10 years. He'll encourage him to either keep working construction and pick up law enforcement shifts like Trace does OR if J is more gung ho about it, he'll encourage the police academy and getting hired by Anderson County or a neighboring county or Tenn State troopers at the most.

Didn’t watch the episode but I can see it now — J wants to be a Marine but the family talks him out of it bc OMG it’ll mean living away from the family in Tx or Japan or whatever bases he’s assigned to thru his career and the means not getting home for I Love You day or for the birth of niece/nephew no. 6235, so God instead calls him to work for Chad. What field is Travis in and what’s his job? I always assumed traveling ministry musician was his job but sounds like he may have a 9-5 and maybe some benefits? From pics he posts from his parents house etc, he grew up with some money.

Shocking . . . . Due date is Feb 17 2021 so it looks like they got pregnant around mid May. Our theory holds that she was already pregnant by the time she got the "you're healed" from the cardiologist in July. Her appointment was supposed to be in March and then got held off because of the pandemic. This is a woman with a plan, you know she was NOT going to wait for what to her probably seemed like an eternity when her appointment to get the all clear kept getting pushed. You know they needed to get busy making John Elliott Jr bc what do doctors know, who can wait on them forever . . . . I call BS on the surprise blessing. These people act like they don't know how babies are made. Guess we can look forward to squealing about another grandbaby at next year's I Love You Day . . . since the Websters won't attend she'll squeal and talk about how much she misses them.

I must not have read it closely because I didn't see the you'll be a good mom theme -- I saw G&K saying ME ME ME. It went on and on about how she makes OTHERS feel welcome, how she apologizes constantly for anything she may have done wrong (WTF??), how she goes on about how grateful she is for all of THEM. Uh -- it's an 11 year olds birthday message. Pretend she's 19 year old Katie and talk about her love of pizza and ice cream. Talk about what hobby or school subject she loves best. Talk about what she wants to be when she grows up or where she wants to live one day or where she wants to go on vacation. But no bc they're fundie + she's a girl it must all be about how she's soooo Godly and serves others so well. It's like a freaking marriage commercial for a fundie husband. Reality is this one is a lot like Alyssa and looks up to Alyssa, so you know G&K are hoping that she too will be courting by 16 and married by 18 -- that's 5 short years to rustle up the interest of some fundie boy. Hell by that point G&K will be ready to allow her to court at 14 and marry at 16 bc they'll want to lighten the number of blessings still relying on them as I assume the show will be gone and G will have to rustle up some income by making one of the boys run the tree business and taking some money from that to finish raising Callie, Jed, and Jeb.

Man they're getting desperate for things to film. A drs. visit for a cold -- how scintillating. And I guess these 2 will live by the mantra of "we're first time parents." We get it but get it a grip. You grew up in a family with 18 other siblings and there's dozens of grandkids -- you've really absorbed NOTHING from being around kids your whole life?? I get it when it's yours it's different and more scary but come on they act like they're each from a family of 2 siblings and the last time they were near a kid was when they were a kid. And really asking medical professionals to weigh in on your videos?? You know you're going to the dr for this cold and again next wk for a 6 mo check up -- you really can't bring the video and ask the dr you'll see in 15 min?? And why can't Carlin buy masks that fit? This is the 2nd time we've seen her in a mask that's utterly useless because it's so big that it sits a half inch off her face and leaves her nose and part of her mouth open; she also flew to Arkansas with a cloth mask with the same issues. She supposedly loves to shop -- does she not realize that even Target and Old Navy have masks now as cheap at $2 or $5 -- why not get a few, see what fits and use that one?? And wasn't she raised in a fundie family where girls are supposed to have household abilities, can she really not sew herself a mask using the millions of patterns out there??

Last night's show -- Katie and Travis are Tori and Bobby Part II, except her behavior is more like Carlin so really we're looking at a marriage that'll look like Carlin + Bobby. Katie seriously comes off as stupid + ridiculously desperate in line with how her sisters were. I mean she is 19 does the girl have NO other life interests besides pizza and ice cream bc these are the ONLY life interests she gushes about constantly and the only interests her siblings ever mention she has. I mean I know 8 year old boys who'll tell you their favorite things in life are pizza, ice cream and something else like baseball or football -- even at that age they gush about something besides pizza. As for the desperation, yeah well G&K never believed that girls should play hard to get. Rather, they believed they should act dumb to impress the guy and show how much she needs a MAN to take care of her + straight up beg for a ring, so I guess Katie is just doing what G&K taught her. I mean Katie not a good sign that your intended is saying "Katie has BUGGED ME the most about being official and then the brothers in law?!" Uh if it bugs you now, wait until you live with it. As for the brothers in law - what's that about? Misery loves company? And no Katie being with a boyfriend for SEVEN MONTHS at 19 isn't sooooo long that there MUST BE a ring. And then of course Josie straight up asks Travis when they'll be courting because of course she and Katie talk about it non stop but wouldn't let it go even when he vaguely said "soon" and clearly was not wanting to discuss. Funny how much Kelton hates his inlaws still as he mocked the process saying "go in there and say I DEMAND your daughter, that'll go well." Travis strikes me as Bobby 2.0. He wants/needs to get married to get on with his life as I believe he's from a fundie/mister's family. So he needs a wife. At the ripe old age of 19 he said "we are getting OLDER" LOL. So he'll get the wife, get some sex, and be over it just like Bobby; hopefully he genuinely wants to be a dad rather than just checking that box because I do think Bobby's sons are all that is keeping him going in that marriage. At least Bobby has bestie Kelton to do life with and they've structured life to get to live in the same town, work together 40+ hours a week etc. Travis clearly won't have a brother in law that was a bestie pre marriage to do life with. I mean I guess it'll be workable if he can bring her to NJ and thus lives near his family/friends but IDK he seems like Bobby -- like Kelly and the sisters will get him to do what THEY want which is life in Rocky Top. He doesn't seem like a John who took a -- don't eff with me -- attitude right up front, was helped along because Alyssa equally didn't want to be near her family + he could always pull out the -- sorry I have an established business -- excuse. As for Law -- it sounds like he was all the way in the Philippines doing a job that was like a patient advocate type of job. Ok I'm not saying that little girl and her (likely fairly poor) family didn't need someone to guide them thru the process to make sure they got in touch with the right hospitals etc. and didn't need an errand boy to go fetch her medicines etc. -- but LAWSON?? Why not someone in the healthcare field who UNDERSTANDS what doctors on both sides are saying and why not someone Filipino who can navigate the country, its bureaucracy or hell even knows his way around the city unlike a rube from Rocky Top? And while the rest of the family was basically doing an infomercial to get Law married -- omg he has such a good heart, he's so persistent, Godly blah blah -- I will say it was nice to see Zach say some real words about Law. I've always thought Z wasn't particularly impressed with Law or Nathan and it was nice to hear him say he's proud because it took guts to go to a foreign country and stay there until everything was done when he could've just turned and run home. I will say though that this family is freaking delusional. OMG he's been away for three WHOLE MONTHS. Uh he's a 28 year old MAN. You know who regularly goes away for 3+ months -- 18 year olds at college. And yes sometimes they even miss Thanksgiving and/or Christmas -- if they can't afford the flight home and instead stay in their dorm or go home with roommates, esp common at Thanksgiving, and going home to mommy and daddy for Valentines isn't a thing. And OMG he missed 2 babies being born in a family that'll have 50+ grandkids?!! Uh were any of the babies his? Bc you know who misses their OWN babies being born all the time -- soldiers on deployment. No one is crying any tears about meeting a niece or nephew 2 months later -- hell that's pretty normal when your siblings live across the country from you.

I never had ANY sense that Trace wanted to be with Chaney. I think he just wants a GIRL, any girl, so he can get to the next level of fundie life -- i.e. at 23 he wants sex + to live with people that aren't Jeb and Jud + to fit in with his family where there are continuous couples dinners and date nights for married folk and if you aren't partnered up, well you can hang with Jeb and Jud. I also think that as much as we saw Josie/Katie/Carlin/Tori be VERY aggressive about finding husbands fast so they were married by 22-ish bc they all feared being Michaela, I think at some level Trace has decided he wants to be married by 24-25 so that he isn't in the Lawson and Nathan boat still searching for a woman at 28. And frankly it shouldn't be hard bc any woman that's Godly and agrees to marry him and live near his annoying family and see them non stop will be perfectly fine. In reality though he's like a middle or high school boy like @RebeccatheWriter says. He wants SOME female attention but really he doesn't know what to do with it, doesn't want to deal with it constantly, and really just wants to hang with his buddies right now -- I mean he said it clear as day when he was like "ooohhh it's soooo hard to plan dates and go do stuff with her when with the guys I just go play basketball." And seriously did he ever consider HER? Even if she is a sporty girl, did she WANT every date to be sports oriented? Did he consider that maybe just once she'd like to go to a cool coffee shop or some outdoor attraction and walk around? I bet he never considered it or if he did he was like -- oh hell no -- what am I gonna talk to her about?? Let's go hit baseballs, there we don't talk while hitting and afterwards we can talk about the batting cages . . . . It's not actually THAT extraordinary how he is acting. There are plenty of 23 year olds that really only want a casual girlfriend -- for sex and for a date on Friday etc. -- but it's ALL about hanging out with the boys at that age, drinking, partying, videogaming or sports. So what do they do -- they DATE; they think about said girl when they're with her/the days they're gonna see her but otherwise they think about work/buddies/fun. If G&K lived in the actual real world they'd see that this son as opposed to the others has a TON of guy friends and seems to really enjoy being a guy's guy. So why not encourage him to get an apartment with one of those friends for a while?? If anything it'll give him the maturity of realizing -- damn life isn't cheap for just me, and once there's a wife in the mix I'm gonna have to step it up more bc I doubt she's gonna want to get by on canned food -- hmm maybe I should get a trade and a job that pays me more than Chad and gives me some health insurance that I can then add my wife to ideally before we have babies? But nooooo that doesn't fit with the cookie cutter fundie model. I think Trace is much more along the lines of a Brandon or Bobby -- let's get it done, find a girl, any girl that'll marry me that loves God and any girl is fine, it gets me onto the next life stage. As opposed to say Zach, Kelton, or Evan who saw/spoke to their wives and were like I want to marry HER -- not just anyone but HER. At least with Brandon though, I think he cares for Michael deeply -- he would've cared for any girl that way -- but I think he is very much in love with her and just not expressive about it in front of anyone, but it makes sense because he isn't expressive about anything and is just a very -- hold my cards close to the vest guy. Bobby OTOH is VERY expressive about his bromance with Kelton and yet not about Tori who I think he doesn't even actively like anymore now that the novelty of sex is gone. Trace is VERY expressive about his buddies and basketball and yet not about Chaney. For these guys who CAN show excitement about other things but not their gf/wife, it's abundantly clear that they aren't into their gf/wife and she's just fulfilling her role of making them a husband and father.

Is it possible that she’s pregnant and knows the sex already? Idk how far along one needs to be for that. That video was made sometime in July I think - as I assume they aren’t real time - Bc John was talking about how his family’s company is small so now one in HVAC in Fla in the summer can take a day off or else the customer just calls the next company and business is lost. So if she is pregnant and knows it’s a boy, chances are it happened before the all clear from the dr. It doesn’t seem like they’d be so cavalier but accidents happen in this clan non stop plus I could see Alyssa convincing John — we were supposed to start trying in March, it’s not our fault the pandemic delayed this appointment, I’m fine and can carry John Elliott Jr blah blah.

And I forgot to mention Trace -- the only interesting part of the episode. Besides being clear with his parents that she didn't see a future with him (which I guess he had to be bc he had told everyone on IG that he was dumped), found it interesting that he mainly spun it as well . . . distance. Even Zach jumped in and said "it's a lot to ask of a girl for her to leave Texas and move to Tenn but it's a big decision for you to make to move away." Left me with the feeling that the only way these fragile fundie men can EVER stand being turned down is if there's some innocuous logistic reason. See -- it wasn't ME, shucks it was the distance, if she lived here, we'd TOTALLY be getting married. Uh no Trace, you wouldn't. She wasn't feeling it at all. Her body language and the way she spoke to you and how insecure you acted everytime she was God forbid better than you at anything from golf to tiddlywinks clarified she wasn't interested. Looking at her home and lifestyle, it was clear she wants/needs a man with some kind of profession who can provide. In you she found a guy who she thought was attractive at first but once she got to know him realized he is boring/has nothing to say, has zero goals, and his vision for the future involves whatever jobs his brother or brother in law can get him and you'll live whatever type of lifestyle that affords even if that means 4 kids in a 2 room "cottage" like said brother in law and you damn well better be happy bc why wouldn't you be -- you'll be hanging with his pushy sisters, sister in law, and mother who'll be your besties as well as your only friends. I think she came, saw the set up of this family, esp when she got forced into judging something at the dumb i love you day party + months later "modeling" for his sisters' boutique when she really just was there to hang with him, not have future SILs and MIL embarrassing her by calling her whatever nickname he called her, asking when they'd get married or when she'd move to Tenn -- and she turned tail and ran. I mean it's possible that she was kind about it and/or found it hard to be direct and say yeah I'm not digging your lifestyle, your family interference or your lack of real employment and skills; she may have just said -- eh I can't move here and I don't really believe you want to move to Tx so it's done. But if the Bates allowed their kids to be raised at all normally, anyone would've sensed some growing disconnect. I mean they were so disconnected that he thought it would be their last Christmas as boyfriend-girlfriend -- so presumably he thought he'd propose in early 2020 and they'd be married before Christmas 2020 rolled around; while she was thinking -- yeah I need to be done with this relationship?? It seems like she started to slow down going places with him etc. around Thanksgiving -- as she went to Papa Bill's with him for Thanksgiving and then it looked like he appeared to go to a bunch of fundie friend weddings in Dec/Jan solo. Yeah even that slowdown in wanting to see him, flying in to go be his wedding date any chance she could etc. should've signaled to him that the relationship was losing its luster. It's interesting to me that Zach is still open about the fact that he had a failed courtship before -- bc Trace directly said he sees Z as a role model plus he's been thru relationships not working out. G&K probably want to kill him for being so open. I mean they're fundie. Anything that's the slightest bit real or unsavory isn't spoken about ever -- it's as if it never happened at all, esp since he now has the picture perfect life all set up. But clearly Z doesn't hide it and talked to Trace about it in real time. IDK when it would've been, but I feel like he met and married Whit shortly after that breakup. So if he married in 2013, I assume the failed courtship was 2011-12. Given that it was 8-9 yrs ago, Trace would've been 14-15 and I'm sure at that time Z wasn't discussing details with him or how it felt -- so it must be a discussion that happened now. Let's hope he takes Z's approach and gets himself a life, some kind of skills/training, a real job, and a clue that the fundie life isn't all it's cracked up to be and it's perfectly fine to go fundie liter/change some of the stricter fundie rules. Hopefully he doesn't go down the Nathan road of -- all women suck and how dare any woman turn down any man.

OMG these people are way too boring for a one hr episode. Glad to see work horse Chad continues to carry the clan on his back but it's ok because he enjoys being a blessing especially to family [eyeroll]. Yep who doesn't want to go over to E&C's house on his off time, take the door of the hinges in Layala's room to get closet doors into E&C's tiny closet of a house and then put those up and reinstall the door originally taken off only to be asked by Carlin to get the door to stop squeaking. Even he deferred on that and said HE (i.e. Evan) can do that . . . . Launch the Evan montage of I can take care of things around the house and my little girl will think I"m a hero because I can do ANYTHING for her; I'll totally be able to put together play kitchens and doll houses for her . . . . Lol. No you won't. You'll probably bring them to the Bates boutique and have Chad put them together and put them in the trunk of your car so you can pull them out Christmas morning. And these 2 are way too stupid to be parents. I'm sorry but Carlin freaking out at Dr. Vick's office looked totally fake and for the cameras to me. Sure I can see the cause for concern if they didn't think the kid was breathing fast enough but give me a break. She went full on hysterical hyper ventilating while dabbing just the corners of her eyes w tissues bc god forbid she ruin her makeup. Kelly was super helpful saying "stop crying he will walk back in here and think you're panicking." Uh -- so?? OBs have seen expectant moms panic before, so what??? What is he British royalty -- you must keep the stiff upper lip around him? Are we soooo worried about impressing creepy Dr. Vick?? And Carlin you know what growns up in these situations instead of OMG I'm panicking, OMG Mom I don't think you're telling me the truth, someone tell me what's going on with MY BABY. . . cue dramatic crying?? They ask QUESTIONS. Why wasn't her first inclination to say to Vick -- hey is the baby ok; why do I need this second test; is it rare for breathing to slow down; how soon until we know if it's ok; if breathing is an issue would we/should we deliver now? I mean these are just off the top of my head and I've never even had a baby or been around 8 million siblings who've had babies?? Kelton & Josie's house -- not much to say there. Looks like Kelton definitely took advantage of the Bates army -- if you're gonna hang out all the time, do my floors or fireplace or whatever or go home. I wonder if Kelton's younger bro is looking for a bride? He was at the party and seems awfully friendly with the Bates teens which is interesting given that Kelton doesn't really even like his inlaws. Not that there's any Bates girls left for him -- I think he's 18-19ish and Katie is the last one and already courting; but I wonder if he is trying to get an intro to someone's friend at cosmetology school or wherever. K may be breathing a sigh of relief that there aren't Bates girls left. While he decided at 18ish that Josie was it and he put up with G&K saying no then, and puts up with that large annoying family now, he may feel good that his brother WON'T have to put up with that. Katie -- seems just as desperate as all the Bates girls did. OMG she is dying for T to put a ring on it. And T seems like Bobby, Kelton, Brandon, and John -- smiles politely but does not care for the family. I assume he thinks he's whisking her away to NJ and his more well to do lifestyle. Didn't work for Bobby but maybe it'll work out for him. And I Love You day has turned into such a made for TV production now. Gone are the days of -- we'll do a celebration 2 mos after Christmas when money is a little less tight and do a nice dinner and spend a few hundred total in the 18 kids get presents for each other. Now it's renting AirBnbs and how can we outdo last year. I see the meal wasn't sponsored by Tysons/Perdue this year though. Bummer. I enjoyed the never ending discussion last year on the virtues of pre cooked chicken and I loved that they acted like it was totally normal to have a dinner consisting of chicken strips, chicken parm, and lemon chicken (or whatever - but no sides at all because SPONSORSHIP $$$$, Ya'll).

The bar is low but he doesn't strike me as being gross like Josh Duggar or a high school boy like Ben or standoffish and rude like Nathan Bates - good luck to whoever is courting that. Sure the religious beliefs are crazy, but I think it helps that he has experienced some regular life -- college, pro sports, living abroad, having friends that aren't just siblings, having friends of different ethnicity, living in various cities in the US, growing up like 1-2 siblings not 20 etc.

Obviously it was all a set up, comped by TLC etc. bc that boutique got its name shown lots of times on the show and it was set up so that a camera crew came in and no other customers were there -- yet it's sad that they grew up soooo repressed and backwater that they think spending $300 on Rodeo Drive is sooooo much. Like they didn't even realize that when you walked around the whole store exclaiming every single thing was cute, then there's two of you trying on 30 items each with a sales person totally waiting on you hand and foot and finding you items based on what you say you like, yeah on Rodeo Drive you are EXPECTED to spend more than $300; more like $3000 or at least $1000. The way to avoid this -- walk in, look around and say you're just browsing, DON'T exclaim how cute everything is so that they don't start pushing you to try stuff, when they aren't looking quietly look at the price tags, and then casually say thanks and leave -- so that they assume that they are way out of your price range or totally not your style. Once you engage the sales person in a boutique like that, prepare to spend. And Jana looked SHOCKED when the lady handed her a tank top even though it came with a sweater to cover up. It's like the look you get when you go to the dr for the first time as a grown up/semi grown up and they hand you a gown and you're thinking holy $hit I have to get naked!? But with all that said, I will say it looks like Jinger's smile reaches her eyes. She DOES seem happy overall with her life. Even in the way she talked about the clothes she had enthusiasm about what she liked or not, while Jana was her usual -- polite, reserved, sure we'll go shopping bc it's a sister activity, but my day to day life is so blah that I can't even get enthused by being in LA for a few days; she genuinely seems sad/depressed to me now, and I felt bad for her. Jinger has made out well in life. Religious fundie husband but doesn't seem batshit crazy, seems to at least help with or be involved with the kid, and has provided her with a life that made her dream of living in a city come true. She got to leave rural America for 2.5 years in Laredo and even if it doesn't last forever I think she'll always look back to the 1+ year that she's already gotten in LA in a really nice house.

As suspected they HAD to go to Arkansas to buy Carlin's car because they bought from the Duggars -- apparently Jed gave them a good deal. And it was Joy's baby shower so of course that can't be missed even mid pandemic; it's not like there won't be 87 more Duggar baby showers. Their recent video was as cringe worthy as ever. E&C going on and on about how they were leaving the kid with his mother because "with everything going on in the world" they didn't want to expose her. Fantastic. But they don't seem to understand that it's still a risk to Layla if THEY go place to place and then come back to her; I mean at this point it's safest for Layla if she were to go live with someone who isn't coming and going all the time -- like Brandon & Michael. Then as they leave Evan's parents' house -- cue the ridiculous sobbing by Carlin outside their house about how she was sooooo sad to leave Layla and then sneaking back in to see her again. Uh -- sweetie you're going for a party and to buy a used car you could find locally too. You don't HAVE TO go. This isn't like when your employer sends you on a week long business trip and if you don't go, you'll be fired. Though I'm sure it'd blow Carlin's mind that there are women who travel for work and do actual real work on the road -- something besides traveling for a weekend to do some fundie bride's makeup or photography. I honestly think they don't fully understand what's going on with the pandemic. They were in masks at the airport and I think Evan said something about how it was required on the plane. Ok good. Except Carlin's mask was like 3 sizes too big -- so she wasn't even wearing it under her nose on purpose, it was just so wide that it was loose and basically never covered her nose or half her mouth. And then they hit the airport Sbux -- where Carlin opens the cup, reaches in with her fingers and touches the bottom of the straw that sits inside the cup. I hope -- ok she's done and she's playing with the ice like a kid or maybe kinda "washing" her hands -- nope she then takes those fingers out of the cup and sticks them in her mouth!? And they didn't show pics of Joy's shower which'll be the next video, but from the few pics posted -- it looks like a standard fundie baby shower indoors. Even if they kept it small and JUST invited the women in Joy and Austin's family + bestie Carlin, you're still looking at a 20ish person indoor party. Fine maybe it's within the rules but given Layla, is it NECESSARY??

Both of them are big on IG videos too -- which only stay on their account for 24 hrs.

No masks at Topgolf for anyone in their party. His brother seemed to have like a gaiter around his neck but it was around his neck not on his face. The parties at the neighboring tees also weren't masked (though looks like maybe the company is social distancing bc they weren't RIGHT next to another party). But there were def masked people in the background -- I assume they were mostly Topgolf employees. I know everyone has different views on this but IDK a Topgolf type of place where you're using communal golf clubs that have been used by others wouldn't be high on my list. I'm sure the employees are wiping them down but still IDK all it takes is a slight mix up where some employee thinks someone else wiped down those clubs or oh I don't think anyone has used these ones in weeks, they're fine and now you're handling something just touched by others and in between hits you're touching hand to mouth as most people who go there order food and eat while they aren't hitting. I just looked it up -- the only Topgolf in Tenn is IN Nashville; so clearly they went into the metro area, close to the touristy parts of town for entertainment. And looking at their website it says that guests are required to wear a mask in the venue. Guess it isn't being enforced so the Stewarts took advantage.

At this point they have to be telling people, no? J&A maybe not -- it had just happened, so I can see them being the types who casually mention it once they arrive and are sitting down to dinner with J&A. But now having returned from there and calling up his parents and saying hey we're coming to Nashville, I'd imagine his parents would say -- sure but how come you're coming on a Tuesday, don't you have to work this week? At which point I imagine they're saying -- oh E's work said don't come back for 14 days so party-time. At that point you'd think some of the people who he's wanting to visit would give him some side eye and bow out. Maybe not his parents -- I feel like parents (even normal ones who believe in science which his fundie parents may not) end up in tough situations because they don't want to tell their baby not to come; his brother probably doesn't get a choice because he lives in his parents' home I think. But the sister and BIL they could easily just not stop by, not go golfing with them etc. and could be pretty clear about -- glad mom and dad want you to visit, but we're still social distancing and not going to public venues like Topgolf. At this point I think LOTS of people have moved on, whether it makes sense or not.

And they’re back in Nashville. Chilling at Topgolf with his parents, brother, sister and BIL complete w Layla crawling on the Topgolf grass/turf.

I was actually wondering about work bc he said while seated in the car before the test that he was off for 14 days -- no matter how the test went; so I wondered why he couldn't go back as soon as it was negative. I assume work (and the guideline writers which are ppl like your MD daughter) did NOT mean for that time to be used as a vacation. I wonder if they even told J&A before arriving or if it came up incidentally during the weekend. And forgetting the test even -- OMG is it necessary to get on a commercial flight right now?? With your baby who is higher risk?? And IDK if social distancing with J&A would even mean anything given that they stayed in the same house with them; but yeah Friday night there were pics of all 4 of them cozied up on the same couch watching a movie, lots of Joy and Carlin hugging pics etc. so yeah they weren't even trying to maintain some space.

Yikes — as much as I snark on them I’m glad it was negative. His exposure couldn’t be helped. He’s an electrician apprentice — if his program has decided it’s business as usual then he needs to go to work to provide. But after it turned out negative you’d think it’d put enough fear in them to lay low and stay home - not bc it’s required but bc why take the risks of car shopping or flying to Arkansas or being around another family including staying in their home all weekend when I’m fairly certain Austin has also been working outside the home as a contractor so he’s also having some interaction w people.

So looks like Carlin and Evan are headed to Arkansas to see Joy and Austin. They're in masks so I assume they're flying a commercial flight?

Was gonna make the same comment. While A&J are marginally better than the Bates clan in some ways, I’ve always had the vibe that they are seriously training their girls to be married at 19 and mommies at 20 just like Alyssa was and since Allie is oldest, the focus is on training her right now while Lexi and Zoey get to enjoy being little girls right now at 2-3 yrs old. If it was just Alyssa I’d be more inclined to blow it off bc honestly what has she ever seen in her home besides girls cooking, cleaning and being responsible for siblings by like age 7 and then being praised just for that — not for being smart at science or good at soccer or whatever. But I feel like they’re 100% raising their girls this way bc John does it too. He definitely has made posts praising Allie for being so helpful around the house and taking care of her sisters. Yeah John bc a girl should have no other interests besides helping mommy dry dishes or fold laundry. If this was just an effed up Bates thing I feel like A would go on about helpfulness while J like a regular dad would talk about how she’s spunky or smart or can out run or out-jump rope him or whatever.

They view babies/kids as props to bestow status in their fundie society. A baby is a prop to be dressed up looking cute and carried around like a sack of potatoes the way that others carry around Versace bags or wear Louboutins. A baby is status in a society where you need to show the world -- you got a man to marry you, he can get it up, and you can carry a pregnancy and push. I mean I don't think they even want their kids to be smart esp the girls. With the babies like Carlin and Josie's (sorry can't remember all the baby names), it's hard to know what they're really like. But we've seen time and time again when these people do birthday messages to their kids (or on the show "birthday praises" given verbally) -- it's always this person loves the Lord, wants to love the Lord more/spread the gospel, or is sooo helpful. And for a girl child -- she had better be helpful. I mean it'd be one thing if G&K did this bc with 19 kids, they don't know them individually (they're slightly better than the Duggars but that doesn't say much). But we've def seen Erin, Alyssa, John, and Whit say these kinds of things -- like they'll go on about how their 2 yr old or 5 yr old daughter is soooo helpful at home and loves to do housework . . . . Like a little girl could have no other interests besides helping mommy fold laundry and clean up her brother's toys. But honestly they don't even want a smart (or witty or whatever) girl. What would they do with that? How would she catch a husband? They 100% believe you NEED to be dumb to flatter a man and then he falls in love with you. I mean remember the show Carlin put on when she and Evan and Gil went to go get the marriage license. OMG Evan you KNOW your social security # -- ALL of it -- OMG I could NEVER do that, it's soooo long, you're soooo smart. And dad wait your full name isn't GIL and mom wasn't born in Knox, OMG I didn't know that -- wait Evan you know your dad's name AND where your parents were born -- OMG you're a genius . . . . And then even at the wedding Gil goes on about how Carlin should praise Evan, it works for every guy -- tell him how smart he is and how hard working he is and he'll turn into super man. Basically you women are just here to suck the man's dick. I mean what on earth would they do if Layla or Allie or whoever wanted to be a dr or an engineer -- who would marry that?!

Layla's parents' behavior during this pandemic has been appalling. Many of the Bates really but AFAIK E&C are the only ones with a baby with a heart condition. I'm really trying not to judge what people are doing bc we all live in different places that were affected differently, personal risk tolerances differ. But IDK anyone who'd say that it's ok to have a high risk tolerance when you have a 4(?) mo old WITH A HEART CONDITION!?! C posted that dumb IG to brag about how HER MAN is SUCH a hard worker that he only slept 4 hrs the night before and STILL met his wife and baby girl out for shopping after work. Cue pic of Evan lying down on those benches they have near the fitting rooms of what I think was an Old Navy with Layla lying on top of him. Ok gross enough to lie down on those yourself even in regular times -- people put their feet up on them to try on shoes; ppl pile their shopping bags and purses that they may have put on the floor 2 seconds prior on them. But whatever he's a grown man, but to have his baby with a HEART CONDITION on him while he's lying down on a public bench?? Though I guess that's still better than last week's Stew Crew or Stew Fam or whatever the eff they call themselves video. They start off going to church -- a mega church we've seen before so I think some of the siblings have gotten married in that one -- one of those typical 2 tier southern churches that is like a high school auditorium. Didn't see the baby so I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt that maybe they left her with Michaela who lives 5 min up the road. I was too charitable too soon bc then they go on later in the video about how they have CHOIR practice at night and it's the minister's wife bday so there's a little church party so they're back WITH THE BABY. I assume that church thinks it's social distancing -- bc there seemed to be some space btwn Carlin and the next singer, but like 1 chair's worth of distance, no where near 6 ft. And then cue them eating cupcakes -- or resisting cupcakes bc the theme of the video was Keto -- from a communal buffet in the church lobby. And THEN they go out to dinner with the minister/his wife and a few other friends from church at Waffle House -- which I can't imagine has an outdoor dining thing going on!? I mean I guess they've missed the memos that one of the first super spreader events in Wash State was a church choir -- on the theory that people are projecting voices indoors and then that gets carried around the entire room; and indoor restaurants with a dozen or even half dozen others!? And then today Kelly is posting pics with all the grandbabies bc apparently G&K had them all over a few days ago -- bc Law was posting videos carrying them around. And there's Layla with all the other kids!? I know they're saying this isn't as big a deal for kids etc. BUT they're also saying that for cardiac conditions they just don't know yet in terms of cardiac effects beyond just a fever or whatever. I mean many/most of the Bates seem like they've decided the pandemic is over and that it never really even happened -- though I've heard that's the view in Tenn generally, maybe outside of the big cities like Nashville. I mean Josie bragged about her man taking them on an ice cream date last night -- cue sitting indoors in a fro yo shop where you serve yourself from the machines and then help yourself to communal topping touched by 8000 other ppl (though maybe the biz isn't self serve anymore - though in rural Tenn who knows); but do you REALLY need to sit indoors and have daddy and daughter sharing a spoon and coo about how cute it is?? But then maybe it's fine for Josie's kid, but does that make it fine for E&C's kid? And they really need to get together with John and Abbie? NW Arkansas also has a growing number of cases -- should anyone be traveling to/from there??

I'm positive the girls are more comfortable with John's side of the family, after all they live on the same street and see them daily not merely 6x/yr. But I know after the 2nd surgery, they sent the girls to stay with his parents for a week even though Alyssa only gets kept in the hospital for a day or 2 after this. Given the incisions that are made in both legs, the neck etc. it's just hard/painful for her to move which isn't conducive to taking care of young kids or really even having them home when a 1 yr old will insist on jumping on mommy or only mommy can give her dinner or whatever. So then John can focus on Alyssa with his parents/siblings focusing on the kids. G&K staying wouldn't have been for the grandkids, it would have been for THEIR kid. But I think @3 is enough is right. K knows if she stays, she will be expected to help J&A. They can't just sit in the hotel all day and then stop by to "fellowship." As much difficulty as Alyssa had with pain and even moving after the first surgery that she had John rolling her over in bed -- that means G&K would be left to deal with EVERYTHING else. As in figure out all the meals -- grocery shop for them (though I guess Alyssa could have stocked up in advance), make meals, serve them, and clean up the kitchen after and do that 3 times/day for days on end. IDK how much of that Kelly did in her own house once Michaela was like age 10 or so. I mean sure we do see her in the kitchen on UPTv lamenting how she's lost all her help now that the girls went to college/married so now she has the boys helping but IDK I think it's for cameras only. I have no doubt that 14 year old Addallee does a lot of the day to day cooking. I mean even at Carlin's (I think?) baby shower she was like -- omg where is Michaela the subs I ordered didn't arrive, what do I do?? She was throwing a party but couldn't handle a takeout order let alone cooking for her daughter for a week. Frankly if she wanted to stay she would've been better off bringing Addallee or Michaela or someone to actually do the work. I think they probably just decided that it was "easier" to be there on the surgery day. After all no one expects anyone to do anything that day -- it was like 10+ hrs that they sat around during the surgery + while Alyssa was in recovery. Then they could see her, satisfy themselves that she's fine, take pics (bc they did post hospital pics), and leave. G&K are pretty worthless. It really is all about the meaningless wedding showers, coordinating with boyfriends re over the top courtship and engagement asks, baby showers, gender reveals, I Love You day, etc. The "fun" stuff. Not that K even does the work for that -- oh Erin LOVES to decorate, Michaela LOVES to cook or at least coordinate the food -- while K stands there and takes credit and social media pics. And then when it's something tough like Alyssa's surgery, Carlin's kid's heart issue, Michaela's inability to get pregnant it's -- oh well pray about it. And no doubt at some level she's blaming some of the them bc of how they are "choosing" to live -- i.e. well Alyssa has gone too far wearing tank tops/pants; Carlin conceived the baby on a honeymoon where she was in shorts/tank tops with a husband in a tank top and shorts (bc while the Bates boys wear shorts now I think fundies are against it overall); Michalea has been honest re wavering in her faith when they weren't getting pregnant. You know Kelly is like -- well they need to be more Godly, what did they think would happen when they started living this way?? I feel like the only empathy we've seen for her is for Erin's miscarriages and I imagine that's bc Erin is a mini Kelly + they don't want to piss of Erin's husband whose their bitch + Erin's problem was figured out so they were able to say -- see she kept in faith and God sent the answer to Dr. Vick and now there's a baby yearly. I feel like if Erin had remained childless like Michaela, Kelly would def have pulled away and viewed her as "less than" and someone who just wasn't living life "right."

The more we see of G&K the more unimpressed I am. Seems that they are only interested in kids when they're young enough to be carried around -- so up until age 3 -- then again when it's courtship and wedding time and then again for the girls when it's time to push out at least the first kid. Alyssa was only 24 when the cardiac issues started. I realize that's over 18 but for many people you're still pretty young, just starting out in life, and kind of reliant on your parents even if for advice and emotional support -- esp the people who are still in med/law/grad school at that age. It's different bc she DOES have a husband and has 3 kids so she is more "independent" than someone who has been in school for years but that doesn't mean that she can't use additional support beyond her husband. I mean 50-55 year old parents can't step up for a 24 year old kid? It's not like they're 80+ and it's hard for them to travel, so their 50+ year old "child" has to deal with it. I mean it's not like these people have any kinds of jobs, nor do they really raise the younger kids. G&K had to fly home same day -- why exactly? At the time Alyssa's surgery happened, Carlin and Katie were home -- they could've made sure the kids who are Jackson and younger were fed. If they couldn't, guess what 13 year old Addallee along with Ellie and Callie could've fed Jeb/Jud as well as teenage Jackson/Isiah/Warden. Or Jackson/Law etc. could've stepped up and just ordered pizza nightly. Hell let Michaela know and she'll bring over a few huge casseroles and take over Kelly's house for a week in addition to going to school. Thank goodness Alyssa is married and to a guy like John -- may not be the most educated but he's been with her every step of they way. I'd venture to guess Chad, Brandon, and Kelton are the same -- they adore their wives and would be worried sick and would do whatever they needed to do, whether G&K showed up or not. Evan and Bobby -- eh I'm sure they'd step up too -- but IDK they seem more like complainers; when Carlin had to go to the hospital and then Layla was at the children's hospital and G&K were in California and for whatever reason Carlin's 76 siblings didn't step in, Evan was quick to call his parents and brother to drive over from Nashville.