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Suzy Rhapsody

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    https://themightysuzyrhapsody.com/
  1. Suzy Rhapsody

    Family: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

    @Mindthinkr Thank you again for your wisdom. Joining an AlAnon group sounds like a good idea, if only for the companionship with other hurting parents. My daughter knows better than to ask me for money (I don't have it and she knows I won't give it to her). Her "currency" is love and affection. She feels very empowered right now by her ability to withhold contact. She knows exactly how it's making me feel. I'd considered cutting her out of my phone plan, but I always thought it was more important to at least know where she is when the bottom falls out and she gets into serious trouble. Frankly, I'm shocked that she still shares her location with me. It's a real double-edged sword. As for her work hours, she begs for money from her aunt/enabler and lives for free at her father's house. She has less than $1 in her account right now until this Friday, when her phone bill is due. I'll basically be taking her entire paycheck to pay for it, which kills me, but I know it's the right decision. One of the big reasons why she left my home in December was that I insisted that she work more than 10 hours per week if she wasn't going to be in school. She simply doesn't want to work. She'd rather have fun, plain and simple. She gets paid every other week for a handful of hours and goes out immediately to buy vape "juice," cigarettes, pot, and expensive vegan treats. If she gets paid $150 on a Friday, she can easily be down to 20 bucks by Monday night. She doesn't have a driver's license, so she relies on these "friends" of hers (all male and older) to pick her up and drive her around. It pains me to say it, but she lives like a vagrant bum, a leech. This is not the person I attempted to raise. We all had that friend when we were young who never seemed to have any money and was more than happy to taketaketake. I'm not saying that I expect her to be completely stable and responsible, especially at 18, but for God's sake. She should at least be working. I'm supposed to leave work in an hour to take her to a doctor's appointment. I know I'll be expected to pay the copay. She will be minimally polite and want to be dropped right back off at her father's as soon as we're done. I'll text her later today and she'll respond with a single word in about 15 hours. If I didn't reach out to her, she wouldn't reach out to me at all. This is tearing my heart out and I don't know how to handle it (or if there's even anything to "handle"). I have been completely marginalized as a mom and it feels awful.
  2. Suzy Rhapsody

    Family: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

    Hi, folks! You may remember my post from December and earlier this year about my 18-year-old daughter who moved out of my home in anger, quit her jobs, dropped out of community college, and traveled to Tennessee to live with her unemployed boyfriend. I've returned to seek further advice and insight since you were all so kind and helpful before. So, to catch you up, she returned from Tennessee in April and our relationship really didn't improve much. I eventually got tired of the total lack of communication and reached out to her. We've had a small handful of visits (four in as many months), which have varied in terms of pleasantness. I have not stooped to her level to argue with her, but she definitely hasn't been shy about being dismissive of me. This dynamic has been in place all her life; her father has always been nasty to me and she gravitated toward him as time went on because he had -and still has- no rules at all. He was never interested in being an involved father. He's more of a pal. Since she's been back in Maryland, I try to keep in contact via text and by phone, but her responses are intermittent at best. Fast-forward to last week. Her boyfriend slowly reduced contact and ended up breaking up with her on Wednesday, as everyone knew he would. She contacted me in hysterics. I was there for her 100%, talking on the phone with her for hours during my work day and even sending her money for an Uber ( a fairly modest amount) and picking her up afterward when she wanted to travel the 10 miles to see him personally to "talk it out." Since then, she has jumped right back on the horse, so to speak, meeting a virtual parade of guys from Instagram and staying out all night on a nightly basis. To say that I'm worried is an understatement. My daughter is laziness personified. She has announced that she will most likely not be returning to school. She works maybe six or eight hours per week at a job in which she has absolutely no interest. She spends every other waking hour and most of the night bouncing from house to house to house, experimenting with various drugs and drinking. She's still on my phone plan (she pays me monthly), so I can see her location on my own phone, as well as the call logs. She has no driver's license, so she has these guys pick her up nightly from her father's house. They ride around randomly for hours and eventually end up at someone's house where she engages in underage drinking and drug use with guys who are often as many as 10 years older than she is. I will admit to checking the location way, waaaay more than I should (I never mention it to her). I'm still a mom and it's been very difficult to just turn off that part of my old job as her only day-to-day parent who gave enough of a crap to even attempt to set boundaries for her. Her father sets no boundaries for her. As long as she doesn't disturb him or ask him for anything, he's cool. He doesn't even bat an eye when she comes home high and/or drunk at 5 a.m., then sleeps until 1 p.m. I definitely realize that I've spent many years overcompensating to make up for his lack of give-a-shit. I didn't raise her this way and it hurts me to watch her living such an irresponsible, hedonistic life and ignoring me. I'm just wondering what I'm supposed to be doing here. When I send her a simple text just saying hi, etc., it can take 18 hours for her to respond. When I invite her to my house to spend some time together, she spends most of the night calling these "friends" of hers to make arrangements to hang out in the middle of the night. I feel like our relationship is eroding before my eyes. I did not have these issues with my mom when I was a kid. I know how I became so fixated on her conduct. She basically gave up on school in her junior year and brought home failing grades. I worked at the state university for 20 years to all but guarantee her a free college education, but when she made it clear that she didn't care, I didn't take it well. I didn't react positively to her throwing away her education and dedicating her life to skateboarding with fully grown men and not working. My head is not a comfortable place to be at the moment. How can I stop fixating on where she is and what she's doing at a given moment? How much is too much when it comes to contact from your mom? I checked the location in the middle of the night last night and she was at the local hospital, but I have no clue for what. She has not volunteered that information. I'll be seeing her tomorrow to take her to the doctor for a long-standing appointment and I'm fully prepared to be treated like shit, as usual. I feel like if I didn't contact her, she wouldn't contact me at all. Is this just an 18-year-old acting in an age-appropriate way? I talked with her the other day and made myself sick when I heard myself offering to talk with her about returning to live in my home. She made it clear that she didn't want to. She knows that I have minimal standards and would expect her to work at least part-time, as well as help out in the home. In return, she would receive nightly home-cooked meals, companionship, and the laughter and little creature comforts are so lacking at her father’s house (he doesn’t have TV or Internet service, a microwave, or even ice cube trays). I have no idea how often to contact her, if I even should contact her, whether I should be inviting her to my house to spend time together (when it would cut into her drugging/hang out time), etc. I’m sure you all can tell that I miss my daughter terribly. Even more, I miss the old version of my daughter, who was so sweet and enjoyed spending time with me. I’m treated like an annoying chore now and it hurts so badly. Any thoughts you may have about any aspect of this would be much appreciated. Thank you.
  3. Suzy Rhapsody

    S08.E07: Mother of a Mother’s Day

    Maci, honey, let’s not put on that superhero cape juuust yet. Ugh. As for Amber Munchausen Mom over here, cool it. This woman needs some serious help. Thank God that poor child is in Gary’s home and custody. My God. I can just barely stand to watch this show at this point. The kids are too damn old to be exposed to this nonsense. They are not babies, toddlers, or little kids anymore. They’re legitimate pre-teens. They are more entitled to their privacy than these heifers are to their MTV paychecks.
  4. Suzy Rhapsody

    S08.E05: Baby Fever

    Gifts definitely aren’t the be all/end all of demonstrating to a child that you love them, but Catelynn and Tyler can’t even be bothered to send cards and notes to Carly for two damn years?! Sure, maybe they don’t know what she would be into in terms of gifts, but asking Teresa would have been a great first step. In lieu of that, this is why gift cards exist. She could get whatever she wanted that way. Do these people really not realize that if they stop browbeating Teresa for visits, it might improve their relationship and *gasp* lead to a visit? They really are their own worst enemies. It’s as if they haven’t grown up at all since that first Teen Mom episode a decade ago. (My God, 10 years! It gets more sad with every passing year.)
  5. Suzy Rhapsody

    S08.E05: Baby Fever

    Dude is too lazy to button the top four (FOUR) buttons of his shirt. I can’t see him taking the time to charge up the battery in the good camera!
  6. Suzy Rhapsody

    Rice-A-Roni & Google Translate: 90DF Live Chat

    I would watch the hell out of a Pillow Talk spin-off with Dean and Tarik just watching/critiquing TV shows of all kinds, from political commentary to cooking shows. Make it happen, TLC.
  7. Suzy Rhapsody

    Rice-A-Roni & Google Translate: 90DF Live Chat

    Is Trashley ever not filmed with a glass of wine in her hand? Time to focus on the kids.
  8. Suzy Rhapsody

    Rice-A-Roni & Google Translate: 90DF Live Chat

    Elizabeth has a lonnnnnng road ahead of her with Mister Control here. This is the tip of the iceberg.
  9. Suzy Rhapsody

    Rice-A-Roni & Google Translate: 90DF Live Chat

    They played that clip so often that I heard it in my sleep.
  10. Suzy Rhapsody

    Rice-A-Roni & Google Translate: 90DF Live Chat

    Cop translation: “You need to get away from those bitches, bro.”
  11. Suzy Rhapsody

    Rice-A-Roni & Google Translate: 90DF Live Chat

    Damn, Mother Pao! Sometimes, just because you can be completely honest doesn’t mean you should be!
  12. Suzy Rhapsody

    Rice-A-Roni & Google Translate: 90DF Live Chat

    It’s so cute, how Colt is pretending to be the one who’s ending this ridiculous relationship. Larissa has been checked out on every level for a good while now.
  13. Suzy Rhapsody

    Rice-A-Roni & Google Translate: 90DF Live Chat

    THAT, right there, is what makes me feel guilty every time I watch this show and her little face pops up! We’re still a few years away from seeing what kind of impact today’s reality shows will have on these poor little ones.
  14. Suzy Rhapsody

    Rice-A-Roni & Google Translate: 90DF Live Chat

    Oh, Nicole. Honey.
  15. Suzy Rhapsody

    Rice-A-Roni & Google Translate: 90DF Live Chat

    Wow, I understand that everyone associated with this Chantel/Pedro situation is pissed, but this is some seriously childish, high school bullshit. Time for everyone to grow up.
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