Shibori

Though I do think the women on this episode and their enablers are what we’d call “low functioning” at work, I think they script these narrations and have the participants read them, which adds to the problem. I’ve seen deep fryers in beds on this show, but can’t recall ever seeing a book. Most of the voiceovers on these episode have the cadence of a third grader who was just called on to read a passage out loud in class.

Ok, I sniffled a little at “What am I going to do with myself?” “anything you want.”

Campbell’s makes cream of chicken AND mushroom. All your trash food needs in one can. Not that I would know...lol

Her boobs look like the world’s largest truck nuts.

I’ve never heard anyone pronounce “leg” with three syllables before.

Who (no matter what size) wears a bikini to swim laps?

Oh God, I have the same shirt Buddy's mom is wearing. And yes, Whit, you are a shitty friend.

I'd really like to know what Whit's rabbi has to say? Because she's still committed to that conversion that was totally not just for Avi, right? ;)

Just catching the men in Nicaragua- and for some reason I couldn't stop giggling at the agent's comment that "the sun comes up on this side every single morning". I get where he's coming from, but just the way he said it makes me wonder if there are places where the sun comes up in different places? Or only some mornings? Or maybe I've had too much cold medicine and I'm getting punchy.

I never want to hear that word spoken again. I'm glad she didn't get one.

All those companies he started can't have been that successful if all he could afford was a junior one bedroom!

"whimsical" London couple: I pretty much hated her in the first 30 seconds, but when she begrudgingly corrected her daughter jumping around the train by saying "the lady says you can't do that" I really started wishing she'd twist an ankle in those boots.

Not sure who I hated more on this one- the vapid wife, enabling Dad, or the son who you just know once killed a homeless guy for fun but Dad pulled some strings and the charges were dropped.

I made a Mischa face when I realized that Dirty Dancing came out the year before Antonio was born. I am so old.

Sorry I missed your comment, MsPh, I was away for a while. I won't go on RS's site because it makes my antivirus cry and I think he's an ass. But yes, Nemacolin Woodlands, and they're supposed to start filming sometime next week. They're finishing a major renovation of the grounds that are wrapping up the next few days. None of the other locations I've seen mentioned for the area (including Kennywood and the Palace Theater) are anywhere near the resort though- about 45 mins to an hour away. It's a beautiful resort and the mountains will be gorgeous soon when everything is green again. Fallingwater is nearby though, as well as whitewater rafting, and Fort Necessity (a battlefield from the French and Indian War where George Washington was a colonel). Also, Mystic Rock, the fancier of the two golf courses at the resort, was on the PGA Tour for awhile in the 2000s.

So, I live in the middle of nowhere in southwestern Pennsylvania, and the word around town is that they're filming at least part of the new season at a well known, posh resort nearby. Filming starts the first week of April. Should be interesting, because it's kind of between seasons here- too warm for skiing and snow stuff, too cold for water and boating. I may have to find some time to lounge around up there and see if I can see anything interesting...

I don't think we know the same soccer moms. When I think soccer moms, I think of the catty, boob-jobbed, bleached (or ombre-d), moms who cluster together to gossip and bitch at their kids dance shows/sports/whatever, are constantly passive-agressively one-upping each other on social media, wear yoga/workout clothes without ever setting foot in a studio, carry an expensive bag (that's either legit if hubby cheats or fake if he doesn't) and desperately follow whatever sad trend they saw on a Kardashian's Instagram or the alpha-mom's Pinterest. Basically, these women in 10 years. The definition of high maintenance. They did try out for the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders on the "Making the Team" show in 2014. They weren't very good. They made it past the first round mostly because they were twins, but got cut before finals. Old episodes are in heavy rotation on CMT, or watch it here (intro at the 3:50 mark).

My favorite was one of the twins complaining that someone said she dressed like a slut...while wearing a dress cut open from neck to navel.

I'd agree if it was anyone but Lori, but she irks me so much I can only imagine what's it's like to the rest of the Sharks that have to listen to her blather for hours on end. And since the speech he kept interrupting turned out to have no content other than "I'm out," I think she proved his point. Lori's fine as a checkbook for QVC ready projects, but I haven't seen much value fof on her beyond that, and I personally think her marketing instincts are often way off. (I'm looking at you, bagel stuffins!) I think Mark was buying a mini-me more than he was the actual product. That kid will return many times the investment for him doing something-he was the real deal. That bathing suit lady was the worst. She had that Lisa Rinna look that many older LA botoxed, fillered actresses have, and the whole "business is hard, giggle!" vibe she was giving off made me stabby. That said, this seemed like a great Lori product, except that I suspect the majority of QVC'ers aren't as in to the bodycon look as the LA set. I'm a plus sized girl myself and I'm fine with my tankini, and I'd feel ridiculous in that even if they did make them in my size. Oddly, when the full coverage is skintight Lycra I think it's even more likely to highlight every figure flaw than a regular suit. That said, props to Barbara, who would totally rock one!

I saw the audition episodes of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader show the season the twins tried out, and trust me, they were C+ cheerleaders too. One was noticeably better than the other, but I don't remember which, and the judges straight up acknowledged that without the twin gimmick they didn't have much going in their favor. They didn't make the finals.I'm finding it hard to believe Ben grew up on the lake the way he handled that pontoon. I cringed when he tried to dock it at an angle, but did chuckle when he almost took out a few of the women! Pontoons are easy enough to handle once you're out on the lake, but they can be a bitch to dock if there's any wind.

I spotted the guy who played Todd on Community at one table...I'm a big girl myself and I know from experience that the devil is in the details. A maxi skirt can be comfy and on trend, but it can also go Kim Davis in a hurry. I don't think you should be wearing a burqa in the summer just because you're bigger, but the cut matters. I have a lot of sleeveless sheaths for summer, but I pay attention to details like the armholes being cut high enough that you aren't seeing the bra or boob rolls, but I wouldn't wear them to serve food for fear my pits would be in someone's face (but that would be a concern no matter your size). I thought the ladies looked frumpy, but manbun showing his chest tats was the far greater sin.

Amy Poehler floating babies and Martin Shkreli selling shirts. I was fascinated by the baby lady's right eyebrow. It had a life of its own!

Was Hayden wasted? She seemed out of it when she was talking before and after the songs.

Yeah, clearly Lori had editorial control of what we saw, because by all accounts she hated the unicorn video, which was a viral hit. I love my Squatty Potty (it was a game changer for me) and follow them on social media. I've seen the unicorn video posted all over, and I've never seen the video they were filming on the show. I think Lori's a joke anyway, but this just goes to show that she's not going to let them show her being totally wrong about something. Between that and her genius (snort) "Bagel Stuffins" name, she's not the branding genius she thinks she is. http://www.adweek.com/news/advertising-branding/squatty-pottys-ceo-ignored-everyone-made-insane-video-and-boosted-sales-600-168526

I guess if my body looked like Kaley Cuoco's, I'd walk around in a bra top and shorts everywhere too, no matter how odd and out of place it looked on a singing show next to guys wearing jackets. I did think it was a very Julianne Hough sort of look (not a compliment, in my book, can't stand the Houghs). Oddly though, when she came out in the Britney wig, I could have sworn it was Jennifer Aniston. Loved Whitney and Trump. Josh Gad can do no wrong in my book. Who won? My DVR cut off...