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S04.E06: Getting Home

PrincessPurrsALot

By PrincessPurrsALot
in Being Mary Jane [V]

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Neurochick

Neurochick

1 hour ago, topanga said:

What is it with TV men just showing up places uninvited? (I'm thinking of 'This Is Us'). 

 

36 minutes ago, Ohwell said:

I agree.  If a guy I was dating just showed up *surprise!* at my parents' house, I'd be pissed.  Plus, he and MJ have only been dating, what?  A few weeks?

I was a bit confused when I read both of these comments.  MJ and Lee are not just "dating" they're sleeping together, which IMO is a bit more serious.  However, some people do see having sex as casual.

Sometimes MJ confuses me though, she'll say something and not mean it and won't say something else but will mean it.  It wouldn't surprise me if MJ told Lee, "I'm going to see my folks in Atlanta, here's the address, if you want to come, cool," but not expect him to actually show up.

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topanga

topanga

20 hours ago, Neurochick said:

I was a bit confused when I read both of these comments.  MJ and Lee are not just "dating" they're sleeping together, which IMO is a bit more serious.  However, some people do see having sex as casual.

But they slept together before then even knew each other's names. I'd say they're dating and are still getting to know each other. I think they're exclusive, but they (at least Lee) felt it was too early in their relationship for them to move in together. And I totally agree. So him making a long-distance surprise visit seems more presumptuous than romantic to me. Boundaries, dude. 

18 hours ago, Ohwell said:

Well, I guess we'll see if she told him to come. 

...or if she tells him to come. Get it? (I didn't spell 'come' the other way because it looks too raunchy on the page). 

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Ohwell

Ohwell

2 hours ago, topanga said:

But they slept together before then even knew each other's names. I'd say they're dating and are still getting to know each other. I think they're exclusive, but they (at least Lee) felt it was too early in their relationship for them to move in together. And I totally agree. So him making a long-distance surprise visit seems more presumptuous than romantic to me. Boundaries, dude. 

Thanks, I'd forgotten that they didn't even know each other's names when the first slept together.  I do think they're exclusive--for now.  I see MJ messing things up as she usually does by having an affair with Justin.

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Sheenieb

Sheenieb

12 hours ago, Neurochick said:

 

I'm annoyed with MJ's mom.  Who cares that they're sleeping together?  Grandma needs to worry about tacky Niecey.

 

I wasn't annoyed with her shutting down the sleeping together in the guest room. I'm sure she knows that sex is happening, but it is weird to some, most? people to get busy in the parent's house. What bugged me the most with Ma Shug Avery was telling MJ about her "cracked eggs." Now, she knows how humiliated MJ was when she aired out her fertility issues on live television, why the hell would she throw that in her daughter's face? I'm going to answer my own question here and say it's because she's an asshole. 

I was shooting daggers at Niecy the most. She's going to be rude AF at dinner to Lee and have the nerve to insinuate that he's riffraff? Girl, YOU should be the last person coming at anyone given how your life is currently set up. 

I'm just waiting for MJ to ruin things with Lee. She just can't help herself. She'll have angry sex with Justin by the penultimate episode. 

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Neurochick

Neurochick

(edited)
56 minutes ago, Sheenieb said:

I wasn't annoyed with her shutting down the sleeping together in the guest room. I'm sure she knows that sex is happening, but it is weird to some, most? people to get busy in the parent's house. What bugged me the most with Ma Shug Avery was telling MJ about her "cracked eggs." Now, she knows how humiliated MJ was when she aired out her fertility issues on live television, why the hell would she throw that in her daughter's face? I'm going to answer my own question here and say it's because she's an asshole. 

I think my problem with that scene is that it's a trope that I've seen too many times.  Maybe if MJ's mom had put them in the same room, they wouldn't have wanted to have sex.  

I wonder if people in other countries feel the same way about sex the way we do in the USA, it's like we think it's bad but we want it at the same time.

Edited by Neurochick
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Sheenieb

Sheenieb

18 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

I wonder if people in other countries feel the same way about sex the way we do in the USA, it's like we think it's bad but we want it at the same time.

Depends on the country, but probably not. I'm sure if this story took place in France, Lee and MJ sleeping together under her parents roof wouldn't even bat an eyelash. It would most likely be considered weird if they slept separately. 

But, you know, America with our puritanical beginnings... 

This will veer off-topic, so I'll just keep it short. Considering MJ comes from a Black family, I'm also not surprised at her mother shutting it down. Most of us have conservative backgrounds in regards to sex. Ma Shug is old school. What you do once you leave the nest is up to you, but under her roof, it's her rules. Which is fine when you're a child, but it can become an issue when you're an adult. Especially if you're an adult that still lives at home. 

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Ms Blue Jay

Ms Blue Jay

(edited)

MJ is 40 years old, that's ridiculous.  LOL.  

MJ definitely didn't invite Lee.  The show made it very clear several times using the word "surprise" as in MJ saying "I detest surprises."

I wonder if everyone was frantically Googling what 22 cm was in inches, like I was.

Edited by Ms Blue Jay
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Sheenieb

Sheenieb

4 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

MJ is 40 years old, that's ridiculous.  LOL.  

MJ definitely didn't invite Lee.  The show made it very clear several times using the word "surprise" as in MJ saying "I detest surprises."

I wonder if everyone was frantically Googling what 22 cm was in inches, like I was.

Oh, I agree that it is ridiculous. I'm just saying that sometimes parents bury their heads in the sand when it comes on to their children being sexual beings. 

I'm surprised that MJ didn't bitch Lee out for surprising her. She was exhibiting some growth here. She'll ruin it soon, but let me rejoice right quick.

Um, according to Demetria Lucas on Twitter, it's 8.6 cm ... 

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Ohwell

Ohwell

(edited)

I now have a problem with Lee.  First, he shows up unannounced to surprise Mary Jane.  Then, without even checking on a hotel room, MJ has to tell him that hotel rooms are booked, so mom and dad kindly invite him to stay.  Finally, he's lying on the sofa with his nekkid ass -- I don't care if he was lying on a blanket -- he was nekkid.  In someone else's house.  That's what did it for me.  Frankly, I think he knows he's "charming" with his British accent, especially to black Americans, so he uses that to his advantage whenever he can.  I'm not saying he's still not a nice guy, but I'm just not as keen on him as I was originally.  I don't care if he is 8.6 cm.

Edited by Ohwell
typos
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Neurochick

Neurochick

(edited)
On February 22, 2017 at 3:00 PM, Ohwell said:

I now have a problem with Lee.  First, he shows up unannounced to surprise Mary Jane.  Then, without even checking on a hotel room, MJ has to tell him that hotel because rooms are booked, so mom and dad kindly invite him to stay.  Finally, he's lying on the sofa with his nekkid ass -- I don't care if he was lying on a blanket -- he was nekkid.  In someone else's house.  That's what did it for me.  Frankly, I think he knows he's "charming" with his British accent, especially to black Americans, so he uses that to his advantage whenever he can.  I'm not saying he's still not a nice guy, but I'm just not as keen on him as I was originally.  I don't care if he is 8.6 cm.

I think it's about boundaries.  People have different boundaries, it's neither right or wrong, just different.

But one thing I notice about MJ.  On one hand she says she wants love, but when she meets someone she looks for something to be wrong with them so she can break up with them and then say to herself, "I just can't find a good man."

Edited by Neurochick
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Ohwell

Ohwell

34 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

I think it's about boundaries.  People have different boundaries, it's neither right or wrong, just different.

Well we'll have to agree to disagree because I don't think it's just about boundaries; I think it's about respect.

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topanga

topanga

On 2/22/2017 at 3:00 PM, Ohwell said:

I now have a problem with Lee.  First, he shows up unannounced to surprise Mary Jane.  Then, without even checking on a hotel room, MJ has to tell him that hotel rooms are booked, so mom and dad kindly invite him to stay.  Finally, he's lying on the sofa with his nekkid ass -- I don't care if he was lying on a blanket -- he was nekkid.  In someone else's house.  That's what did it for me.  Frankly, I think he knows he's "charming" with his British accent, especially to black Americans, so he uses that to his advantage whenever he can.  I'm not saying he's still not a nice guy, but I'm just not as keen on him as I was originally.  I don't care if he is 8.6 cm.

I was pleasantly surprised by how happy MJ was to see Lee.  I guess I expected her to be more miffed that he'd shown up uninvited. She must like him more than I thought. I would have been very annoyed. But I still enjoy Lee. I liked the way he bonded with Daddy Shaft. And being MJ's support and wing man at the Thurgood Marshall benefit was good. 

And Lee finally said out loud what I've been screaming for weeks--Trayvion needs therapy. Maybe the teacher was being racist at worst or giving preferential treatment to certain children at best, but that doesn't change the fact that Trayvion is having nightmares and is behaving in ways that are uncharacteristic for him. I hope MJ was being sarcastic when she said that black people don't believe in therapy. Although that would explain why she hasn't taken her ass to therapy, which she desperately needs. 

But I agree about naked Lee. You don't lie around naked on someone else's couch--not cool.  MJ's mom continues to annoy me, but she was right that Lee and MJ should not have conspired to have sex in her family room. I don't care if MJ is almost 40. They're not married, and there are young kids in that house. 

 

On 2/23/2017 at 4:50 PM, Neurochick said:

But one thing I notice about MJ.  On one hand she says she wants love, but when she meets someone she looks for something to be wrong with them so she can break up with them and then say to herself, "I just can't find a good man."

Why was MJ impressed with Lee only after he punched the arrogant journalist guy? I get that he was protecting her honor, but MJ was fascinated by the punch, not his words. She definitely has issues. 

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TVForever

TVForever

Just getting around to watching this ep, so I hope I'm not too late with my two cents..

I was surprised to hear MJ shoot down Lee's suggestion about therapy for Trayvion, considering she's lost a (once) good friend to suicide.

I like Lee, but dude, don't get naked in someone else's home unless you're in a locked bedroom, not a "public" family room. That said, Mama P should have known better than to enter an adult's sleeping space without knocking and announcing herself. But I'm not mad at her for being clear about the rules in her house. She's old-school, and that's not always a bad thing.

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topanga

topanga

On 3/3/2017 at 9:37 AM, TVForever said:

I was surprised to hear MJ shoot down Lee's suggestion about therapy for Trayvion, considering she's lost a (once) good friend to suicide.

I was hoping she was being sarcastic, but now I'm not so sure. 

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jhlipton

jhlipton

On 3/1/2017 at 11:28 AM, topanga said:

I hope MJ was being sarcastic when she said that black people don't believe in therapy.

I'm  late to this, but I just started binging (mostly because Gabriel Union is OMG so very beautiful!
But I had to address this -- from my own experience it's far too true.  I know someone who is bipolar and schizophrenic and several in his family think he has demons that can be prayed away.  And this is in LA, not the South.

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Rae Spellman

Rae Spellman

(edited)
On 3/18/2017 at 8:53 PM, jhlipton said:

I'm  late to this, but I just started binging (mostly because Gabriel Union is OMG so very beautiful!
But I had to address this -- from my own experience it's far too true.  I know someone who is bipolar and schizophrenic and several in his family think he has demons that can be prayed away.  And this is in LA, not the South.

Probably there a plenty of people who find therapy suspect and plenty of people who are open to it. Even after her initial reservations, didn't MJ eventually offer to pay for therapy for Travion?

While I don't find Mary Jane's reaction unusual, I'd hesitate to consider it typical.  

My parents and grandparents migrated to the Bay Area from the rural south in the 60s. Some probably think Jesus is always the answer. However, my church-going maternal grandmother went to therapy in the '80s and my churchgoing father went to therapy in the '90s. Both after divorces. 

I know quite a few African American therapists, and have worked with quite a few black clients who were in therapy. My first exposure to therapy was probably Dr. Jason Seaver on Growing Pains. Then I took a psychology class at my inner city high school. 

Most of the time when people suggest therapy as "the answer" I wonder if people are unaware of how many mediocre therapists there are out there. And how difficult it can be to find an affordable, quality, therapist who is a good fit for the person considering therapy. 

Edited by RaeSpellman
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