S12.E03: The Foundry

[The Companion]

Sorry guys for dredging up what is a hot topic. I have no doubt I will have feelings about this down the road that are far more complicated. I also have sort of a different perspective as a mom through adoption as far as feeling protective over Dean and Sam here but also having thought about the potential for meeting a parent later in life. More on that in a later thread.

 

2 hours ago, gonzosgirrl said:

 

I will never understand this perspective. Dean never asked her to be his mommy. Of all people he knows that his 'dream mom' was not the real woman. He's the one who traveled to the past and found out who she really was. Of course coming back was a huge shock to the system, and I don't think anybody begrudged her the need for time to adjust, or even to never adjust at all. But the way they wrote her, she was completely self-centered and unsympathetic. Yes, she left behind babies - but she was also afforded a chance to know her grown sons. There's a reason her treatment of Dean and Sam post-resurrection was so shocking to many people - because it was out of character from all we knew of her. Even if Dean's memories were rose-coloured, we were shown Mary in the past, and this ice-queen was not her.

Once again, the storytelling and writing went off the rails. Just a few words would have made a world of different in how she was perceived, but they were more interested in making her a bad ass that the just made her an ass, instead.

As far as asking her to be his mommy, I am not really saying that he is unrealistic or wrong any more than it is bad for me to wish I could go back to having my mom bring me red beans and rice when I am sick. 

I suspect I will feel differently about it down the road, but so far I am sympathetic to both.

[gonzosgirrl]

As an adopted child myself, I can promise that I would have been devastated if my birth mother had appeared in my life through no choice of my own - and Dean had no more choice in this 'gift' than Mary did -  and she then proceeded to tell me she couldn't relate to me and didn't care to try.

Edited February 24, 2020 by gonzosgirrl

[The Companion]

13 minutes ago, gonzosgirrl said:

As an adopted child myself, I can promise that I would have been devastated if my birth mother had appeared in my life through no choice of my own - and Dean had no more choice in this 'gift' than Mary did -  and she then proceeded to tell me she couldn't relate to me and didn't care to try.

I hear you. This is 100% valid.

Please don't let anything I say imply that I don't feel like Dean has every right to feel the way he feels or that I am not devastated for him (or that your feelings here aren't valid). I addressed it in another thread but this storyline is really tough for me because of my fear that my kiddo could feel rejected and hurt some day if he reaches out to his birthfamily. 

[Aeryn13]

1 hour ago, The Companion said:

Sorry guys for dredging up what is a hot topic. I have no doubt I will have feelings about this down the road that are far more complicated. I also have sort of a different perspective as a mom through adoption as far as feeling protective over Dean and Sam here but also having thought about the potential for meeting a parent later in life. More on that in a later thread.

 

As far as asking her to be his mommy, I am not really saying that he is unrealistic or wrong any more than it is bad for me to wish I could go back to having my mom bring me red beans and rice when I am sick. 

I suspect I will feel differently about it down the road, but so far I am sympathetic to both.

I never thought Dean was asking her to be a "mommy" at all, he just wanted a relationship with her as an adult now. Of course one that can't be completely separate from her being their mother. But I don't think he wanted her to do mom-things like they were still children. Just maybe do things like ask them some questions about them. Basic trying to get to know them. Inquire on how they grew up. Something I actually expected myself but the writers and the actress were so focused on not making her "nightgown Mary", they wanted to forget the part where she literally was their mother. At some point I seriously questioned if Amara returned her soulless.

[The Companion]

17 minutes ago, Aeryn13 said:

I never thought Dean was asking her to be a "mommy" at all, he just wanted a relationship with her as an adult now. Of course one that can't be completely separate from her being their mother. But I don't think he wanted her to do mom-things like they were still children. Just maybe do things like ask them some questions about them. Basic trying to get to know them. Inquire on how they grew up. Something I actually expected myself but the writers and the actress were so focused on not making her "nightgown Mary", they wanted to forget the part where she literally was their mother. At some point I seriously questioned if Amara returned her soulless.

I can see that. 

I think I am explaining it poorly on the mom stuff, and I probably won't hit the target anyway. All I am saying is that it seems to me that Dean is looking for comfort in a way that is totally natural. Not that he is demanding that she do things for him or something. Just that he is longing for a different time, or for this to work. Eh, maybe just forget it. I am clearly failing to make this point clear. Let's leave it at: Dean's desire for everything to be fine and his feelings of rejection made me sad.