S09.E02: Hawaiian Pig and a Poke

[Drogo]

Anne Burrell and Rachael Ray play a unique taste and describe game with the celebrity recruits in order to introduce them to unique tropical flavors. Then, the mentors demonstrate Hawaiian poke and pork dishes, which their recruits must replicate exactly. The two celebrities with the worst dishes go head-to-head in an elimination challenge.

[justjen]

Glad to see Barbara Eden go. I mean I know she's old, but she seemed extra elderly and it was driving me crazy. Old people can actually be competent.

[mlp]

I thought Barbara Eden was cute but she was clearly not competent at all so she was the right person to leave.  Unfortunately, that left us stuck with the "Situation" guy for another week.  He seems very impressed with himself for reasons I haven't figured out.  He's not cute and I suspect he's rather dumb.

It seemed to me that Loni Love got the lion's share of camera time.  I had never even heard of her before this show so I wonder why.  She must have 20 pounds of hair.  I can't believe that's all real.  It's certainly not attractive.

Teaching "celebrities" to cook is obviously not the real reason for this show.  The assigned tasks are far too complex for raw beginners.  These people should have been started with toast.

[backformore]

1 hour ago, mlp said:

Teaching "celebrities" to cook is obviously not the real reason for this show.  The assigned tasks are far too complex for raw beginners.  These people should have been started with toast.

I agree.  I can't figure out what the reason is, though.  Just like in the non-celeb edition, it seems that the way to win is to actually KNOW how to cook, but to totally screw up in the beginning, so you can then "IMPROVE". 

But the real reason is to have a forum for has-beens to be back on TV and try to re-claim their relevance.   These are the same people who will go on DWTS (if they're lucky)   Celeb re-hab, Celeb marriage boot camp, any show that their agent can get them on.  

I used to like Mindy Cohn - I thought she was pretty relatable and down-to-earth.  She's gone through a bunch of hair color changes, and the current one is the least flattering color she has had.  It's clownish.

[spiderpig]

I'm beginning to hate myself for being so relentlessly negative, but DAMN!  That was the most painful 46 minutes I've seen in a long time.

Poor Barbara was sweet, but she was depicted as a doddering old fool.  The only remaining participants I remotely like are Matt Whatever and John Whatever.  The rest are all kinds of ugh.

Edited September 22, 2016 by spiderpig
Matt Whatever, not Dan Whatever.

[Amarsir]

Maybe I was just in a good mood, but I enjoyed last night's episode. And believe me, I'm more surprised than anyone to see myself saying that. The focus on knife skills is a valid thing to teach. The dishes were multi-stepped but not unreasonable. And I found the people to be mostly likable and amusing. 

I think what helped was that the stupid "taste and describe" thing in the beginning was short. (And it was stupid. They weren't even describing it as food. Just irrelevant crap like "this kills Dracula".) Had the meaningless round they do in the beginning taken up half the show it would both annoy me and steal space from the part that actually mattered.

[zxy556575]

6 hours ago, mlp said:

He's not cute and I suspect he's rather dumb.

Aw, bless your kind heart.

A person who is unable to find any words to describe a pineapple has gone way past "rather" dumb.

[LexieLily]

5 hours ago, lordonia said:

Aw, bless your kind heart.

A person who is unable to find any words to describe a pineapple has gone way past "rather" dumb.

And that can't figure out how to cut on the diagonal as opposed to cutting straight...

[spiderpig]

3 hours ago, LexieLily said:

And that can't figure out how to cut on the diagonal as opposed to cutting straight...

This show makes Cutthroat Kitchen look like The French Chef.  Hell, it makes Burger King look like The French Laundry.

[candall]

I've followed this show since the beginning.  (I know!  I'm so proud.  /s)  When the early evictions were sent home, I always thought:  Well, at least they learned how to make a nice basic dish they can do for the fams--chicken legs or a tenderloin--or a fancy Eggs Benedict-type brunch recipe.

I think very few people would want to work a big bowl of poke into the regular rotation.  (No offense, Hawaii.)

 

Barbara Eden was adorable in her red stripes and spiffy matching red glasses.  If I make her age, I'm going to be a humped over old bat in comfy orthopedic shoes, shaking my cane at people.  I'm well on my way to that now.

[spiderpig]

4 hours ago, candall said:

Barbara Eden was adorable in her red stripes and spiffy matching red glasses.  If I make her age, I'm going to be a humped over old bat in comfy orthopedic shoes, shaking my cane at people.  I'm well on my way to that now.

I'm there already (kinda).  It ain't so bad.  You don't have to take nuthin from nobody.

[spiderpig]

Oh no they didn't!  I was reading this thread and what popped up at the bottom of my screen?  An ad for toenail fungus treatment with big full-color image!  During a food discussion.  Yay corporate America.

[candall]

I'll take goo toe any day over getting blindsided by that white dog curled up into his little skeleton ball, dying of starvation.

Although . . . I don't know, on second thought, maybe people really aren't aware.

Okay, leave the dog, lose the toenail.  (Which is actually the most effective treatment for advanced cases, so ha, I made a funny.)

************

And here's my transparent effort at staying relevant to the topic:

I don't fry much, but when I do, I just roll the item in some (coconut) flour.  Is the flour-->egg-->breadcrumb system recommended for anything, or just for the texture associated with pork cutlets?  If it's fried, I do want a lot of crispy crust.

Edited September 24, 2016 by candall
boomeranged back to the show for post preservation

[MamaDeb]

That's the approved method of breading, yes. I don't cook professionally anymore, but I had a little chef training and interned for a few weeks in a restaurant kitchen. I spent at least one day a week breading and frying eggplant for their ELT sandwiches. Kosher veg - it replaced the bacon. Flour, egg, crushed panko. Only wet hand, dry hand disappeared FAST and the eggs became a floury sludge. Yummy sandwich, though. Spicy mayo.

Those seem to be very ambitious and specific dishes. Except they now can cook eggs, steak,  pound, bread and fry meat and know useful knife cuts. It can be generalized for any one reasonably intelligent.

[buttercupia]

whoo, I was relieved to see Barbara go.  Sweet as pie and doing well for her age but I was really worried she was going to hurt herself.