CletusMusashi March 24, 2016 Share March 24, 2016 (edited) A "swifty" is a specific type of bad pun, in which the way that somebody says something has a double meaning. They're kind of a guilty pleasure for some, but most find them incredibly noxious, which is why I'm starting a new thread instead of tainting, say, the limerick and haiku area. I'll give a few, just to get them OUT of my head. Once you've seen a few, the definition will start to make more sense. And then, either people will add more atrocities to the thread, or it will sink away into oblivion. "You know how to bite a dick," said Abraham frankly. "I wish I had flowers to look at," said Carol lackadaisically. "Hold your blade toward the zombie's head," pointed out Rosita. "Every place we go looks like Georgia," stated Rick. "I'm single now," said Abraham smoothly. "That is not my rabbit!" Daryl exclaimed. "I've had it with Abraham's poop jokes," bantered Sasha. "We ate Bob," said Gareth manfully. "They could have at least offered me a Chianti," Bob whined. "They attacked first!" shot back Rick. "I do not want to talk to The Governor," said Michonne choppily. "I have a bayonet," said Merle offhandedly. "It's hard for me to do runs," said Noah limply. "You are not raping Coral," Rick said bitingly. "I've had it with Terminus," said Carol heatedly. "Gabriel, you know nothing of my work," Jesus said crossly. Eugene bit down onto Dwight's wiener, with relish. Edited March 25, 2016 by CletusMusashi 4 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/40916-walking-dead-swifties/
morgankobi March 24, 2016 Share March 24, 2016 (edited) wow "Can you make this white shirt black," FPP asked, dying in the process. :) Edited March 24, 2016 by morgankobi 5 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/40916-walking-dead-swifties/#findComment-2083554
catcory March 24, 2016 Share March 24, 2016 Double WOW!!! 1 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/40916-walking-dead-swifties/#findComment-2083559
morgankobi March 25, 2016 Share March 25, 2016 "And I know it's the flu," Carol fired back. Oh, and was I the only one who opened this thread thinking it may have been filled with zomie-fied Taylor Swift fans? 4 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/40916-walking-dead-swifties/#findComment-2085543
Nashville March 26, 2016 Share March 26, 2016 "Oh... guess I misplaced the pantry inventory", said Olivia listlessly. "This arrow in my head really hurts", said Denise pointedly. "What a stupid thing to do for a damn can of soda!" said Daryl crushingly. "So YOUR crew killed my boyfriend!!!" said Michelle explosively. 5 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/40916-walking-dead-swifties/#findComment-2087210
morgankobi March 26, 2016 Share March 26, 2016 (edited) "It's just some thangs," Rick said stuffily. "Let me see your hair," Jessie said cuttingly. Edited March 26, 2016 by morgankobi 7 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/40916-walking-dead-swifties/#findComment-2087407
iRarelyWatchTV36 March 26, 2016 Share March 26, 2016 "Eye can't focus," Carl shot with righteous indignation. "I see dead people," Sam despaired, sounding torn apart. "You!" Ron said piercingly. "I ain't strogan-you-off," Rosita laid out. 3 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/40916-walking-dead-swifties/#findComment-2087731
Nashville March 26, 2016 Share March 26, 2016 "You... keep your hands off me!" said Tara after a pregnant pause. "Looks like we're okay for the moment", said Carl shortsightedly. "I'm seeing some really strange dead people up in here", said Tyreese acidly. 6 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/40916-walking-dead-swifties/#findComment-2087752
Nashville March 26, 2016 Share March 26, 2016 "Well at least you got the baby out - FINALLY", said Lori overbearingly. 4 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/40916-walking-dead-swifties/#findComment-2088085
walnutqueen March 26, 2016 Share March 26, 2016 "I made this prosthetic myself", said Merle handily. "I have applesauce", said Aaron sappily. "It's just an owl sculpture", said Jessie craftily. 5 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/40916-walking-dead-swifties/#findComment-2088107
AngelaHunter March 26, 2016 Share March 26, 2016 OMG, it's a Toxic Adverb Attack. "I can't believe I ate this damned turtle," Enid wailed rawly. 3 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/40916-walking-dead-swifties/#findComment-2088301
iRarelyWatchTV36 March 26, 2016 Share March 26, 2016 "Why'd you have take off so fast like you were shot out of a gun to go after the Governor, Merle?", Daryl cried. Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/40916-walking-dead-swifties/#findComment-2088512
CletusMusashi March 26, 2016 Author Share March 26, 2016 “Because if you do, one morning you’d wake up and you won’t be in your bed. You’ll be outside the walls, far far away, tied to a tree, and you’ll scream and scream because you’ll be so afraid. No one will come to help because no one will hear you. But something will hear you. The monsters will come. The ones out there. And you won’t be able to run away when they come for you. And they will tear you apart and eat you up all while you’re still alive. All while you can still feel it. And then afterward, no one will even know what happened to you. … Or you can promise not to ever tell anyone what you saw here and then nothing will happen. And you’ll get cookies. Lots of cookies," said Carol sweetly. 6 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/40916-walking-dead-swifties/#findComment-2088554
iRarelyWatchTV36 March 26, 2016 Share March 26, 2016 (edited) "Kindly cease from being a jerk of male anatomy proportions towards my colleagues," Eugene bit out forcefully. Edited March 26, 2016 by iRarelyWatchTV36 2 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/40916-walking-dead-swifties/#findComment-2088584
CletusMusashi March 26, 2016 Author Share March 26, 2016 "My shirt is too small," said Abe tightly. "Why can't women turn lights off?" asked Shane dimly. "Let me out of this kennel," said the Wolf doggedly. "It's true, Beth! Maggie and I just had drugstore sex," Glenn insisted. "I don't want to live with you guys," Buttons naysayed. "I should go work on my hair," mulled Eugene. "Where's Carl?" asked Lori absently. "Pliers? With no hands? You suck, Milton," said Andrea defeatedly. 5 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/40916-walking-dead-swifties/#findComment-2088611
morgankobi March 26, 2016 Share March 26, 2016 (edited) "I like to keep it smooth," Abraham said with "porpoise." (yeah, I know they're not the same animal; it's a stretch) "I'm not sure why the corn isn't growing," said Hershel, stumped. Edited March 26, 2016 by morgankobi 5 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/40916-walking-dead-swifties/#findComment-2088615
AngelaHunter March 26, 2016 Share March 26, 2016 "I like to keep it smooth," Abraham said with "porpoise." (yeah, I know they're not the same animal; it's a stretch) "They're both hairless, ain't they?" Abe added slickly, his voice razor-edged. 5 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/40916-walking-dead-swifties/#findComment-2088920
iRarelyWatchTV36 March 26, 2016 Share March 26, 2016 "Y'all are just jealous of my warbling," Beth sang. "Blood is a great color," said a red-faced Rick. "Walkers are my friends!", shouted Lizzie crazily. "These people really stink," thought Judith childishly. "I just can't get a leg up these days", said Bob, like the thought of it was eating him alive. "Damn these pants are crazy tight," said Andrea with a shimmy-shake in her tone. 3 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/40916-walking-dead-swifties/#findComment-2088974
iRarelyWatchTV36 March 27, 2016 Share March 27, 2016 "I could sure use a drink," Bob slurred. "Everything you have is ours," Joe claimed. "We will take this prison for ourselves," the Governor said, eying them with authority. "I'm so hungry I could eat a worm," Daryl swallowed. "Lori died giving birth to Shane's baby," Rick hacked out. 3 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/40916-walking-dead-swifties/#findComment-2090164
CletusMusashi March 28, 2016 Author Share March 28, 2016 (edited) "I'd like you to shave my ass," said Abraham gingerly. "Ah don't want anything gettin' in mah way," said Maggie shortly. "Morgan, let me handle these guys," said Carol clearly. "I only want to work on my jail. And my koi pond," said Morgan selfishly. Edited March 28, 2016 by CletusMusashi 4 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/40916-walking-dead-swifties/#findComment-2090555
CletusMusashi April 3, 2016 Author Share April 3, 2016 "What do mean you don't want a mustache ride?" bristled Abraham. "I ain't eatin' no mud snake!" Beth hissed. "Well it ain't a damn mud snake!" rattled Daryl. "While Negan is making his speech, I'll sneak around and hit him with this prosciutto," said Olivia hamhandedly. Maggie and Glenn got through the first part of the episode okay, butt barely. 7 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/40916-walking-dead-swifties/#findComment-2110156
morgankobi April 3, 2016 Share April 3, 2016 Cletus, I bow to your talent. 1 3 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/40916-walking-dead-swifties/#findComment-2110159
iRarelyWatchTV36 April 4, 2016 Share April 4, 2016 "We have to find a way around these guys to get Maggie to the doctor", Rick backtracked. "I'll be your anchorman," Eugene stoically deadpanned. "Put me down; you can walk me," Maggie wheezed. "Get back here and kill me, you sissy!", said Carol, as her emotions bled into her voice. "Bitch nuts", Abe cursed. "Meet Lucille", laughed Negan, as he repeatedly hammered the point home. 3 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/40916-walking-dead-swifties/#findComment-2112974
CletusMusashi June 17, 2016 Author Share June 17, 2016 "And after you beat their asses to death with this big-ass can of beans... you can eat the beans!" noted Abraham astutely. I'm very sorry. 3 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/40916-walking-dead-swifties/#findComment-2334128
Nashville June 17, 2016 Share June 17, 2016 (edited) As well you should be. "Glenn............ I don't feel like making out", said Maggie after a pregnant pause. Edited June 17, 2016 by Nashville Emphasis, dammit 3 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/40916-walking-dead-swifties/#findComment-2334783
iRarelyWatchTV36 September 24, 2016 Share September 24, 2016 "We can co-exist peacefully if we just work together", preached Jesus. Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/40916-walking-dead-swifties/#findComment-2594930
Giselle October 24, 2016 Share October 24, 2016 I miss "Carl's Hat" why didn't they save it!?! That was some funny stuff! Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/40916-walking-dead-swifties/#findComment-2678380
AngelaHunter October 24, 2016 Share October 24, 2016 Carl's Hat? It's here: 3 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/40916-walking-dead-swifties/#findComment-2679657
Nashville October 27, 2016 Share October 27, 2016 "Maggie? I'll find you", said Glenn with a pop-eyed expression. 3 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/40916-walking-dead-swifties/#findComment-2688886
Giselle October 27, 2016 Share October 27, 2016 On 10/24/2016 at 2:06 PM, AngelaHunter said: Carl's Hat? It's here: Thanks! Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/40916-walking-dead-swifties/#findComment-2689207
Mu Shu November 1, 2016 Share November 1, 2016 "So, where did you get your jacket, Negan? At the poop store? " Asked Abe with a shit eating grin. "Go whack off in front of Eugene, you wanker", as Negan played whack a mole with Abe's noggin. "Ah gotta git to thuh heeltop ta have muh babee. This heyah Negan shit is uh miscarriage of justice." 2 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/40916-walking-dead-swifties/#findComment-2703133
CletusMusashi November 14, 2016 Author Share November 14, 2016 "Why Glenn, aren't you handsome?" asked Negan, batting his eyes. 2 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/40916-walking-dead-swifties/#findComment-2744019
iRarelyWatchTV36 February 26, 2018 Share February 26, 2018 "I was bit on my right side, but I didn't see it coming", Carl said feverishly. "I can't stop (killing Saviors). I can't", said Morgan, making his point a few times. "You what? Want to fist me??", said a gutted Savior to a blood thirsty Morgan. "You write your own story, Gavin", authored a captivated Ezekiel. "He's not home", Carl's voice rose above the crowd. 2 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/40916-walking-dead-swifties/#findComment-4094239
CletusMusashi March 11, 2018 Author Share March 11, 2018 (edited) "It was so much better than working for Kirkman," Michonne marveled. Edited March 11, 2018 by CletusMusashi 5 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/40916-walking-dead-swifties/#findComment-4134742
walnutqueen March 12, 2018 Share March 12, 2018 11 hours ago, CletusMusashi said: "It was so much better than working for Kirkman," Michonne marveled. clever!!! 2 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/40916-walking-dead-swifties/#findComment-4135948
iRarelyWatchTV36 March 31, 2018 Share March 31, 2018 On 3/11/2018 at 7:32 AM, CletusMusashi said: "It was so much better than working for Kirkman," Michonne marveled. 2 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/40916-walking-dead-swifties/#findComment-4191817
walnutqueen April 8, 2018 Share April 8, 2018 Suck my dick, said Negan, cockily. 4 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/40916-walking-dead-swifties/#findComment-4216652
Nashville April 18, 2018 Share April 18, 2018 “My dick isn’t as big as I like to pretend”, said Negan with a hangdog expression. 3 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/40916-walking-dead-swifties/#findComment-4246693
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