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Criminal Minds Fanfiction

mstaken

By mstaken
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normasm
normasm

JMO, you do this better than a lot I've read. I do hesitate now to be overly critical of writers of CM FF, especially the Reid-centric stuff, because most of it comes from affection for the character.

ReidFan
ReidFan

I wasn't entirely happy with a certain scene in this week's episode "The AntiTerrorism Squad"....... so I wrote an episode tag. at aooo:  http://archiveofourown.org/works/8539207 and at fanf

JMO
JMO

Actually, Qwerty, I think you spurred one of the more interesting discussions we've had on this thread----so, thanks!  Of course, the fact that the most interesting thing we can find to talk about is

amensisterfriend

amensisterfriend

(edited)

So you guys get to craft your fantasy version of CM :)

 

Which events that took place would you write differently or erase altogether?

 

Which former characters would still be around and which current characters would be gone? Which Unsubs, minor characters, etc would you bring back for another appearance?

 

Which type of cases would you show more or less of?

 

Which team friendships would you stress more heavily and would any team members ever have been romantically involved? 

 

I'll be back later to answer my own questions, but for now just know that I'd still have Elle and Emily around, would have ditched JJ and Morgan several seasons ago, would want far, far more cases where the Unsub's identity is a mystery, and want more Diana Reid appearances! 

Edited by amensisterfriend
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Old Dog

Old Dog

Well first off JJ2.0 and Will would be gone, we would have much, much more Reid as a competent agent instead of being an object of mockery and gosh how I would like to have snarky Rossi back instead of Grandpa.

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amensisterfriend

amensisterfriend

(edited)

Heh---in my version there would be now Will in the first place :) 

 

And I hold the admittedly UO of not thinking JJ was a well defined character even when she was allegedly more likable, so I'd be fine if a different character were the media liairson  from the outset of the series. 

 

I'd also have the events of 100 not take place---for me, it took the show in a more melodramatic direction, and gave more reason for the already borderline joyless Hotch to become depressingly grim and flat for looooong stretches of the series. 

 

---Oh, and you know I'm totally with you on wanting a return to edgier, S3-S4ish Rossi :) 

Edited by amensisterfriend
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Old Dog

Old Dog

See I don't  mind the events of 100 and poor Hotch - he suits the grim, stoic demeanour and it is like a little treasure when he actually lightens up and smiles. I would have cut all the ghastly Beth debacle and shown Hotch as the caring single Dad and uber professional agent.

JJ was fine for me originally just in a supporting role and it made no sense when they cut out her job which was supposedly so important and overloaded and let presumably Garcia and Hotch absorb all that work. Hotch must be Superman to do his work, JJ's original work sifting the cases and also covering for Cruz who seems to have been abroad all of Season 10 so far!

I would like another unsub setting puzzles - like The Fisher King only better.

I think Morgan fulfils a function but I would lose his supermodel girlfriend - I actually don't really dislike her except for the fact that she HAD to be the most gorgeous woman they could rustle up.

They should stop with the "season long unsubs". They are rubbish at that. It would be so nice to have an unsub trickling through lots of episodes until a final denouement but they can't deal with any sensible continuity.

I'd like to see Reid in a real fist-fighting takedown and saving Hotch and Morgan in the process.

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amensisterfriend

amensisterfriend

This probably goes without saying, but along with more psychological suspense and actual mystery, I want loads more real profiling, which was a huge draw of this show for me. So less torture porn, less of Garcia's super magical computer...more impressive deductions, logic and psychological insights, please. 

 

And I would have always maintained a slightly smaller team that allowed the writers to better define and develop the characters they had. 

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normasm

normasm

JJ would still be liaison, and choosing/presenting the cases, less heavy on the running around with Morgan trying to shoot the unsub. Morgan would still have his original "partner" Emily, who never would have been a spy. Morgan would still be great pals with Reid, and less flirty with Garcia. Garcia would be a supporting player with a fun sense of style and a backbone, like she once was. Rossi would be full of snark and not brooking any nonsense from his bureaucrat nemesis, Erin Strauss, who would still be alive and a thorn in the BAU's side (most of the time, although, i would want there to develop a grudging respect for Reid, etc.). Hotch would be recovered as much as possible from Haley's death, but not ever having met Beth. He's recovered his spark a bit, and is more engaged with the team, as he used to be, especially Reid.

 

And Reid! I would have had him never have actually taken drugs after Tobias, but struggling for a while with staying un-addicted. His mother wouldn't have made that ridiculous "recovery", but he will have moved her closer to him in DC. The team will not ever roll their eyes at him again. He would be the mature man he was in Uncanny Valley, and will have met a lovely lady he is dating and getting serious about, maybe even Maeve, but with no headaches for him and no damseling of her, and not much screen time for the particulars.

 

Their cases would be interesting psychological thrillers, light on the blood and gore shown, but heavy on the motivations behind the crimes, and the way the team puts the puzzle pieces together to stop the criminals.

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missmycat

missmycat

(edited)

To me one of the biggest damn problems with this show is the fact that they now have 6 profiliers. And nowadays they don't even do enough profiling for the original number the show had which was 5.And it's because MESSer and CO choose to take the focus off of the team working and trying to solve the case and onto the unsub committing the crime.

 

But what was EM's answer when fans started screaming for more team. It was these so called personal story lines. I've nothing against them if done right. The earlier and better writers knew how to weave these so called personal moments into an episode in a way that made it feel organic as belonging to the episode. Nowadays we often get these disjointed book ends that don't even feel like they belong in the episode.

 

So my fantasy would be that our show would get an actual show runner as oppose to the show ruiner they currently have. A show runner that would be able to better understand the original concept of both the show in general as well as its characters. Of course there would be no more of these ridiculous implausible story lines like they gave JJ in 200. And there is no damn way JJ would ever again dominate another episode the way she dominated both 200 and Forever People.

 

And yes Garcia's so called magic computer would certainly never see the light of day again. And there would be no more of these so called scenarios as an excuse to put Garcia in Kevlar or put a gun in her hand. But most of all there would absolutely, positively,be no more of this so called: "I'm a genius too" crap where Garcia is concerned.

Edited by missmycat
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JMO

JMO

I agree across the board, Normasm.  I would also lose Will and have JJ raising Henry as a single mother.  (Can't bring myself to lose Henry!)

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amensisterfriend

amensisterfriend

(edited)

Oooh, as long as we're fantasizing, can Henry get a decent hair stylist?! 

 

My fantasy team: Reid, Elle, Emily, Rossi, Early Seasons Hotch. Gideon sometimes consults, at which point we explore his mentor-who-abandoned-him relationship with Reid and watch him clash amusingly with Rossi despite the two of them enjoying a mutual respect. Morgan or Garcia can pop up to help sometimes if and only if they cut the forced "baby girl" crap. JJ is just gone...I find her a total waste of screentime and think the actress ranges from mediocre to terrible. 

 

Reid is happily together with a mostly reformed Elle, though not in a way that takes over the show. 

 

Emily has a more consistent character and a clearer niche and function on the team. And she has her beginning-of-S3, slightly wavy, bangs-free hair, which may be my very favorite :) (Though I love her looks regardless of hairstyle!) And, because I'm warped, she ends up with Rossi---the edgy, snarky, somewhat badass one we got the first couple of seasons. 

 

The writers give us well-plotted cases with a far larger element of mystery and psychological suspense and, as so many of us have said, more good old-fashioned profiling! 

 

I LOVE the idea posited above that Reid was never a drug addict. (Why is addiction the only 'acceptable' affliction with which TV characters, and TV law enforcement in particular, are allowed to struggle?!) Instead, he grappled with anxiety, PTSD, depression, etc---stuff that's VERY common in real life but rarely depicted on TV---eventually learning to cope and even earning a new perspective on his mom's illness along the way. And did I mention that I want more Diana Reid?! 

 

FAR more differentiation among the team members' specialties, personal and professional strengths, areas of weakness, and their relationships with one another. As so many have said, they'e all equally, blandly perfect at their jobs, all seem equally expert in every area, and all seem to have the exact same blandly friendly relationships with one another. It's such lazy, boring writing! 

 

As always, I respect that opinions vary...but that's what makes fandom fun, right?! 

Edited by amensisterfriend
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normasm

normasm

MMC, I totally agree with your Garcia rant, and amensisterfriend, I love your idea on Gideon occasionally consulting, etc. Those both would make the show richer without anything else happening!

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Bookish Jen

Bookish Jen

(edited)

Ooh, can I play? Here are my answers to the first ballot of questions posted:

 

If I were part of the BAU:

 

My very closest friend would be...

If we’re talking about a platonic female BFF then mine would be Emily. We take our work seriously, but we don’t take ourselves seriously. We’re both rather dorky, but have snarky senses of humor. We both like cats. We were both weirdos in high school.
 

Initially, Elle might intimidate me, but I can imagine us getting along. And I think Alex and I would bond on a word nerd level and she’d probably be a good mentor.

 

If I had to have a romantic relationship with one CM character, it would be...

Without a doubt-Reid. We’re both introverted bookworms who greatly value knowledge and are infinitely curious. However, we have several differences that might complement each other and keep things interesting. Reid is left-brained; I’m right-brained. He’s very analytical; I’m more instinctive.
 

And if we had any little Reidlings let them have his killer smile and height, and throw me a bone and let them have my blue eyes (just saying).
 

Now if we lived in a fair and just universe, and Maeve was still alive and she and Reid were living blissfully happy, my second choice would be Hotch (well, early stage Hotch). He’s been with a blonde and a brunette, so why not be with a redhead? Plus, I promise I’m not overtly bubbly and perky like Beth. I’m not so sugary sweet I’d give everyone diabetes.
 

The one person I wouldn't get along with on the team would be....

Well, the current day JJ probably. I’d try to be cordial around her, but I can’t imagine warming up to her. I’d keep her at arm’s length because I can totally imagine her treating me with the same eye-rolling contempt and condescension as she does Reid.
 

But if she’d made some snot-nosed remark about me not being able to empathize with a victim or a victim’s family because I’m not a mother like her, I’d turn to Reid and say, “Spencer, hold my earrings. I’m going all unsub on this bitch’s ass!”
 

I really liked Garcia in the beginning when she was just quirky and fun, but poor thing is just a caricature these days and she never shuts up. It’s like she has nothing to say and says it all the time. And I’m hardly a pearl-clutching prude, but the “sexy” banter between her and Morgan has grown tiresome.

 

My professional niche/specialty on the team would be...

Well, this group has enough profilers, so I figure they could make up a position using my writing, interviewing and research skills.
 

My favorite out-of-work social activity to do with the whole team would be...

Movie nights and potluck. My sugar mint cookies are a national treasure.

 

The team member whose family I'd most like to meet would be...

Because I’m so curious and like getting “the story behind the story” I’d want to meet most of the BAU’s family members.
 

My ideal vacation would be traveling to ____ with _________

I’d love to road trip around the United States with Reid visiting various independent book stores and coffee shops, no Starbucks and Barnes and Noble for this dorky duo.
 

Edited by Bookish Jen
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normasm

normasm

Every song has a bridge that consists of a Reid-rant about the subject at hand, in this case, the origin of the messenger bag. Followed by uh squeeeeeally guitar solo. And fly dance moves which cause someone to dislocate (his) knee...

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Cobalt Stargazer

Cobalt Stargazer

Heads up, ya'll, this is my version of a PSA.

 

Apparently there's a website called ebooks-tree.com, and their bots are taking fanfics off of Archive and posting them on their site as PDF files and mobile downloads, which require a credit card to read for supposedly free files. They have seven of my stories, which I will be demanding that they take down as soon as they aren't overloaded with complaints. Normally I don't care, but if they're charging a fee for something that I wrote for people to enjoy for free, I don't like that. JMO, if you post stuff on Archive, the bots may have gotten to you too. If you do a search for your username, you can find out.

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JMO

JMO

(edited)

Thanks for the heads up, CoStar.  Sorry that happened to you.  What gall!  I looked at the site----to me, it gives off the vibe of being  one big virus waiting to happen.  You have to register to find out if your country is one that can use it?!

 

I'm only on FFN, so, for now, I guess my stories are safe.  How did you even find out about it?

Edited by JustMyOpinion
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Bookish Jen

Bookish Jen

I hope someone is locked and loaded with a FF for Hotch if his trauma from "Mr. Scratch" isn't sufficiently revisited!

Me too! So glad CoStar is using her considerable talents to deliver a sure-to-be kick ass FF.

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Bookish Jen

Bookish Jen

Every song has a bridge that consists of a Reid-rant about the subject at hand, in this case, the origin of the messenger bag. Followed by uh squeeeeeally guitar solo. And fly dance moves which cause someone to dislocate (his) knee...

When I found out poor Matthew dislocated his knee dancing I thought, "Goodness, how clumsy is this guy?"

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Saje

Saje

Here is the letter he wrote to me (and by 'me', I mean all his fans heehee I wish) after he was feeling a little better. Poor man.

 

"when i do something
i like to do it right
take for instance, destroying my knee

 

i wanted to make sure that i gave it my all

 

my surgeon (one of the best in the nation) said that out of the 15000 knees he’s operated on, mine was one of the 200 worst he has ever seen

 

this guy has probably seen car wrecks
crowbar bashings
falls off 3 story buildings
pro sports players hit directly in the knee by human locomotives
matadors gored by bulls

 

yet mine takes the cake

 

what is even more impressive is that i managed to do all that damage with
one
simple
dance
move

we are talking about a “miracle” of an injury
i jumped 4 inches in the air and merely landed “kind of funny” on my feet

 

some might say i am weak boned (like sam jackson in unbreakable)
au contraire
the fact is,
I have super human strength (like bruce willis in unbreakable)

 

i am so strong that when my knee cap dislocated instead of falling over and leaving it out like a regular sane human being with pain receptors, i ferociously kicked it back into place with such brute force that i managed to literally dismantle my entire knee

 

you name it i did it:
a solar system explosion under my courderoy
the MRI tech said he thought his machine was broken when he saw the results
i don’t joke around on the dance floor

 

3 sugar screws
2 (2 inch) titanium screws
lots of incisions
a fair amount of drilling
tons of blood
and 6 hours of surgery later
i was told that in 2 months, after a follow up surgery, we would know if the procedure worked

 

sort of stressful

as the alternative plan involved “experimental” procedures
presumably at strange clinics in norway
call me old fashioned
but i try to avoid anything “experimental” when it comes to my body and knives

 

but yesterday, after the follow up surgery, i was rousted from my foggy post of slumber by the doctor laying 2 giant titanium screws that were once in my knee into my hand
proof that the surgery was a success

 

when i find the love of my life i am going to give her one of those 2 inch screws on a necklace
and i will keep the other

maybe i will mount it on an earring with a feather and wear it like george michael circa the “faith” album

but probably i wont

 

thank you all for your good vibes, warm wishes, and prayers
those meant the world to me
in four more weeks (possibly after one final “clean up” surgery) i will be able to put some weight on it again
look for me on the dance floor

ill be the weird guy sitting in the chair dancing mostly with his arms

 

love,

matthew"

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Bookish Jen

Bookish Jen

(edited)

More songs for Spencer, Hold My Earrings:

"Wheels Up in Thirty"
"You're on Speaker, Garcia."
"(Un)subterranean Homesick Blues"

"JJ's a  Bad Mutha (Shut Your, Mouth)"

"Happy Wednesday, My Nerds"

"The Ballad of Baby Girl and Chocolate Thunder"

"Sugar Mint Cookies (An Ode to Bookish Jen"): Featuring the lovely men of the BAU on back-up vocals because this is my fantasy, damn it.

Edited by Bookish Jen
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Bookish Jen

Bookish Jen

I immediately thought of Strauss saying, "Oh, i stepped on her hair!"

Songs for Reid-sex, "Love Without Germs"

Your song title forced me to stifle a snort I laughed so hard.

And so funny you mentioned this Strauss quote from the eppie In Birth and Day, which features an actual suburban-Milwaukee mall, Mayfair Mall in Wauwatosa. I was just at this mall with my mom. And its Crate and Barrel is where I got my beloved Wusthof.

knowing.jpg

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Bookish Jen

Bookish Jen

 

qwerty, I'm kind of not supposed to be posting right now 'cause I'm at work, but if you PM me we can speak about it later. :-)

Cobalt, because you are such a goddess when it comes to writing fanfic do you ever think of writing a guide to great fanfic writing, perhaps a blog? You're so talented I think you should give it a thought. And I could give you a shout-out on my blog.

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Cobalt Stargazer

Cobalt Stargazer

Cobalt, because you are such a goddess when it comes to writing fanfic do you ever think of writing a guide to great fanfic writing, perhaps a blog? You're so talented I think you should give it a thought. And I could give you a shout-out on my blog.

 

Thank you for the praise, and I would at least consider it. There's a lot, and I do mean a lot of really bad fanfic out there, so if I could even nudge som eone in the direction of writing good stories, I could certainly make time for it. :-D

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