Fear the Zombie Haiku

[CletusMusashi]

This is the place for haikus, limericks, song parodies, zombie nursery rhymes, anything of that nature.

The original series already has one, so this is for the celebration and/or mockery of "Fear."

For those who are rusty on it, a haiku consists of five syllables, followed by seven syllables, followed by five.

For example:

 

Zombies are coming.

So listen, here's my advice:

Button your shirt, kid!

Edited August 24, 2015 by CletusMusashi

[walnutqueen]

I sit here waiting

for my new show to begin

Anticipation

 

Meanwhile, TWD

Is airing in the background

Until 6 pm

[Nashville]

Floppy shirt stoner

Staggers like already bit.

Nice ass, walker chick.

[Bongo Fury]

FEAR the Walking Dead

full of Teen angst and drama

FEAR a waste of time

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

(after finally really looking at the cast list - for both main and recurring - and I can't help but FEAR you might just be right, Bongo Fury)

 

Its the Walking Dead (universe),

So it can't be bad, right?

Only time knows all.

Edited August 23, 2015 by iRarelyWatchTV36

[Cheetosandchoc]

What is wrong with you?

You have something on your face;

It looks like blood.....oh

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

I'm high and I'm really hungry,

I totally want a snack right now,

C'mere you and give me a deep kiss - I'll bite your bottom lip (off)!

[CletusMusashi]

Look! A new movie.

A comedy. "The Junkie."

Starring Rob Scheider.

Edited August 25, 2015 by CletusMusashi

[that one guy]

Every time someone mentions "teen angst" that song gets stuck in my head!

 

What the world needs now

Is another zombie show

Like I need that kid's floppy shirt.

[PeterPirate]

First two dead we see

A black guy and a blonde gal

Some things never change

 

Just like the song goes:

"Ebony and ivory

Dead together in

 

Perfect harmony

Side by side by the piano

And soon so will we"

[Cheetosandchoc]

Slimy walker guts,

blossom across the church floor.

Something bad happened.

[walnutqueen]

There once was a dealer named Cal

Who had a nice young junkie pal

The pal went and shot him

Poor Cal then turned rotten

Now he's walking dead in SoCal

[Giselle]

Palm trees, ocean breeze.

Zomibies sporting sun glasses.

Oh, I Love L.A.

Edited August 25, 2015 by Giselle

[Giselle]

Hollywood starlet,

Waiting to be discovered.

Walking Dead Fodder.

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

To be cracked, or not cracked,

That is the question, Windshield asked.

Its the back end of LA,

I'm sure no one will notice, either way.

Except those watching in HD, which

means, that... oh.  Son of a bitch!

Edited August 26, 2015 by iRarelyWatchTV36

[David T. Cole]

A long dark tunnel

Easy to drive truck forwards

Why drive it backwards

[walnutqueen]

A long dark tunnel

Easy to drive truck forwards

Why drive it backwards

 

People in L.A.

Have not mastered the U-turn

Probably too stoned

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

Defended myself and shot my dealer

Didn't stay 'dead'

Man, truck this guy.  Twice!

[Giselle]

Zombie ain't for shit!

Tweaker flesh ain't got no rush.

I miss my crack pipe.

Edited August 26, 2015 by Giselle

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

Gloria's a ho

Kissing a dude with that kind of sore on his mouth?  And now wants to plant one on me??

Gross, yo!  I gotta run.

Edited August 26, 2015 by iRarelyWatchTV36

[Giselle]

I'd go to rehab,

But ain't no twelve stepping this.

Zombie got no cure.

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

I may be tripping out,

But I still understand visual metaphors when I see them.

You literally had a loaded gun in your trunk.

 

No judging here though,

I may not swing that way, but I'm cool with it.

Kinks are neat; in fact, I eye-poked my sister just yesterday.  *giggle*

[Giselle]

Pocket  hangin' low got a knife inside.

Thought she did me a solid, I know she tried.

It could be anyone, so screw the school bus ride.

Teacher coming round now to seeing my side.

Zombies comin' nowhere to hide.

Zombies comin' nowhere to hide.

Zombies comin' nowhere to hide.

Zombies comin' she's the reason I died.

[Bongo Fury]

FEAR is a bad show

So off to Costco I go

Bought the big snark can

[CletusMusashi]

There was a young weasel called Nick,

who ran from a cannibal chick,

and I'm sorry to say

that the writers said "Hey...

Let's do nothing but 'scared junkie" schtick."

[erikdepressant]

Woke up in a blouse
To my friend chewing some dude.
I bought some bad shit.

 

-AND-

Evacuate schools.
Bunkers are classrooms for new
Common Gore Standards.

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

I'm Madison.

Still stupid.

Also nonchalantly negligent.

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

Bounce House and

Played 'Hide & Seek' with zombies.

Most. Amazing. Bday Party. Ever!

Edited September 1, 2015 by iRarelyWatchTV36

[Watcher0363]

To help with your Haikuness I give you.

 

http://www.howmanysyllables.com/words

Edited September 2, 2015 by Watcher0363

[Watcher0363]

A junkies sweet lair.
Skinny girl eat a cookie!
Human flesh will do.

 

Knife in my pocket.
Wow, hot teacher reach around!
No one believes me.

 

Look at the flowers.
Whoa, my name is not Lizzie.
Dead dealer walking.

[erikdepressant]

Some riot is trending on Twitter;

Mom's late getting pills, and I'm bitter.

  My stepdad's M.I.A.,

  And my boyfriend -- oh, no...

Nick barfed!  I hate being his sitter!

[Nashville]

Limericks are fun

Even when they show up in

A haiku-centric thread.

:)

[erikdepressant]

With all due respect, I assumed limericks were okay here because the first post reads

This is the place for haikus, limericks, song parodies, zombie nursery rhymes, anything of that nature.

[CletusMusashi]

Nash did follow up

his poem with a smiley face.

No ill will, methinks.

[Nashville]

T'was just fun, erik.

Jokester me loves limericks.

Hence the smiley face. :>

[walnutqueen]

Three lines - not haiku,

limerick, song or poem

Started this whole thing

 

:-D

Edited September 3, 2015 by walnutqueen

[erikdepressant]

Sorry for being
So bitchy.  I shall resume
Work on my sonnet.

[Ronin Jackson]

All hail Duane Jones
First man taking on the dead
First dead Black man too

 

Just for the record

Duane is two syllables

At least for haiku 

Edited September 7, 2015 by Ronin Jackson

[PeterPirate]

Apparently "poem"

Also has two syllables

Just ask Walnut Queen  

 

But it has just one

When included in haiku

By Peter Pirate

 

It matters not, yo

Just do what you gotta do

To get the count right

 

*****

 

"And for that matter

'Piano' has two syllables"

Sang Paul and Stevie

Edited September 9, 2015 by PeterPirate

[Nashville]

A junkie who lived in LA

Found his friends being eaten one day

To save his stoned ass

He ran really fast

But got knocked halfway down the highway.

[Watcher0363]

Fear the Walking Dead, is to the Walking Dead.

Like first sight stricture, is to a profile picture.

Anticlimactic! I'll still need a prophylactic!

Cause hunger trumps bland and horny trumps hand!

Enough with the oh so bland, tribute band.

Rick, Daryl and Carol, give us the original band.

[erikdepressant]

Susan?  Are you home?

We're just looking for your gun.

Please eat Alicia.

[Watcher0363]

Dogs enjoy horse meat.

Zombie enjoys fresh dog meat.

New circle of life?

 

A babysitter.

Bitten by a smooth zombie!

Susan's not okay.

[CletusMusashi]

Monsters attacking

It's up to us to survive

Let's not use guns

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

Hello Fido

We should visit the neighbors

Goodbye Fido

 

Dog enters

Dog barks

Dog dies

(^ haiku of every scene scripted for a canine in the WD universe)

[erikdepressant]

"Feet crushed by scaffolds

Are easier to fillet."

Pro tip from Gareth

[Watcher0363]

Dead me chased deaths touch.
But now deaths dead pursue me.
Dragons for dragons.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

Woke up on the floor

Chewing noises just barely heard

Drugs are bad, mmmkay?

[Ronin Jackson]

My name is Travis.

A kick ass actor plays me.

Why am I so lame?

[Dobian]

Crisis in L.A.

I have a television

I leave it turned off

 

Man's head is blown off

Blood and guts on my curtains

I hope stains come out

 

Must warn family

Reach home quickly through front door

Maze is much more fun

Edited September 18, 2015 by Dobian