S02.E06: Moving In

[Neurochick]

Davina is married to her success, Manhattan and financial status. She'd rather live in a shoe box for a gazillion dollars than a big house with yard and healthier air. To each their own.

I feel for Sean, I don't think he'll make it. I think he is just realizing that moving to a radically different place IS a deal breaker for him. He seems to be loosing interest rapidly.

The final touch was the way she asked for more romance: "I need that s**t! Court me". Sure, you just got him in the mood, boss.

 

Here's my thing.  Not everybody wants a large house.  I have a friend who would love to live in a shoebox because it's easier to clean.  When you have a large house, someone has to clean it; if you have a yard, someone has to maintain that yard.  Somewhere, I think in the US, people became entitled to think that they NEEDED a large house with a huge back yard, spa tub, en suite bathroom, master bedroom.  Older homes aren't like that and are easier to clean.  I don't get why we all need so much space today.  

 

Now, back to the couples.  As for training a man or a woman, perhaps train isn't the correct word.  I see these couples as learning how to dance.  They need to learn when to go forward, when to go back, when to go right, when to go left.  When you first learn to dance, say waltz, with someone, you might step on each other's toes or get the rhythm wrong; sometimes if you practice you'll get it, but sometimes you might need a new partner.  

Edited April 25, 2015 by Neurochick

[Bella]

Here's my thing.  Not everybody wants a large house.  I have a friend who would love to live in a shoebox because it's easier to clean.  When you have a large house, someone has to clean it; if you have a yard, someone has to maintain that yard.  Somewhere, I think in the US, people became entitled to think that they NEEDED a large house with a huge back yard, spa tub, en suite bathroom, master bedroom.  Older homes aren't like that and are easier to clean.  I don't get why we all need so much space today.  

 

I have a variation of the same thought, Neurochick. I like living in a high-density neighborhood where I can pick up mass transit or a cab easily. To me, driving is a huge time waster. If someone else (bus driver, train conductor, etc.) is managing my transportation, I can read, which is something I value. I hate having to drive to shop, dine out, get coffee, etc.

 

An environmental analysis a couple of years ago showed that if everyone in NYC had a home with a yard, we'd need two additional New York States to accommodate that. City planners are now pushing high density because it allows for more shared green space, fewer trees destroyed, etc. I totally endorse that.

 

But ... if others will accept my preferences as valid, I will grant theirs as valid, too. Did the MAFS couples get an opportunity to sell each other on the advantages of their preferred living environments? Did this come up in the 150 pages of individual information that the "experts" supposedly collected. Did the "experts" care? Did the "experts" consider that all of these people have jobs and they can't just up and abandon those jobs in order to be on a TV show for a few weeks? Did the "experts" consider that all of these people have to get to and from these jobs that they can't abandon? Did the "experts" take into account transportation options, time, etc.? I doubt it.

[SaucyMommy]

I can't imagine living in a city anymore. Did it for years, and I like living in the sticks. It's nice having space, clean air, no noise, and stars. I'm sure for Sean he's grown use to having a home with space to spare. We had a city home and now a country home. I like the big house and yard - you just pick what's important. I think the experts did a crappy job on the logistics of where these people live. I also find it odd these apartments are available same day. I'm not in NYC but even here in the Midwest you'd never find something that quick

[HappilyEverAfter]

Hate to burst anyone's bubble but

if you have instagram they were talking about Ryan stating he gave the spare bedroom to Jess for all her extra stuff and storage. I thought it was a 1 bedroom apartment but I couldn't find where that was stated. Also someone who knows Jessica & Ryan have made comments as though they are still together. It's possible.

At the end of the experiment if couples need more time to process they can still get a divorce later but for the show they want an answer for viewers on the finale. I say two couples probably stayed together at the decision day finale.

Edited April 25, 2015 by Bella
added spoiler tags

[Bella]

This forum has been very active this week, and we've been allowing a lot of thread-drift and off-topic discussion. But I want to remind people to post anything you learned from social media in the thread we have for that. Thanks!

[HappilyEverAfter]

I am not sure if it is a spoiler being that people commenting on instagram could say anything but it doesn't make it true always. I found it interesting to share. Sorry it was in wrong thread! Ryan was the only one saying something about storage that was probably truth. The other is "speculation" just for clarification. I have no idea if the person saying the spoiler stuff is correct or just wishful thinking.

Edited April 25, 2015 by HappilyEverAfter

[Wings]

.

Edited April 25, 2015 by wings707

[Waterlilly]

They do say in the epi that Jessica and Ryan's apt is two bedroom. Ryan also says there are two closets.

[LennieBriscoe]

apparently it's Sean not Shawn, which is another thing that annoys me about him now.

 It is a very common spelling.

Edited April 25, 2015 by LennieBriscoe

[LennieBriscoe]

Ryan D and Jessica : We are at episode 6 and I still don’t get why this guy signed up for this show. He is decent looking, with lots of money and has never had troubles finding a girl, yet signs up for MAFS ? Huh ?

Springboard, mon ami; springboard.

[Bella]

I'm just erring on the side of caution regarding spoilers. I love spoilers, but I sometimes go out of my way to protect the spoiler averse posters. And there are people on PTV who are very, very fussy about not wanting to be spoiled. So that's where I'm coming from as a mod.

As a regular poster, I dislike that the couples are being treated like lab rats by the "experts."

[LennieBriscoe]

I think Ryan D. is plain not attracted to Jessica, which manifests itself as anger. JMO.

[butterbean1]

I think Ryan D. is plain not attracted to Jessica, which manifests itself as anger. JMO.

 

I think Ryan's problem is he is not comfortable in front of the cameras.  I noticed during this episode that he would glance in the direction of the camera's and looked really uncomfortable.  I think that is why he had the blow up in the last episode.  There are things he is not comfortable doing or saying with the camera's around.  I would bet he is more at ease when they are alone.

 

Just my thoughts.  I'm going to watch on Tuesday to see if he does the same thing.

[JapMo]

 

I think Ryan's problem is he is not comfortable in front of the cameras.  I noticed during this episode that he would glance in the direction of the camera's and looked really uncomfortable.  I think that is why he had the blow up in the last episode.  There are things he is not comfortable doing or saying with the camera's around.  I would bet he is more at ease when they are alone.

 

Just my thoughts.  I'm going to watch on Tuesday to see if he does the same thing.

 

Butterbean, you've said what I have thought since they stood on the altar (podium, whatever) and recited their vows. He looked sooo uncomfortable being in the spotlight. He wouldn't look in the camera, which made it look like he was avoiding Jessica. He does not seem like the typical reality show person who loves to air their dirty laundry in public. I think Vaughn was kind of like that. Also, I don't agree that he's not in to Jessica. It seems to me he really likes her. Ryan has got old school tendencies; probably inherited from his grandpa. He is very in to being the man who supports the woman. There's a lot of people who would laugh at that, but it's actually kind of sweet. There's not that many guys who think like that anymore.

[B3cky50]

It is a very common spelling.

Obviously I know that.

I just find him infinitely irritating, and having to edit my post to correct the spelling of his name made me dislike him, lol.

[Snarklepuss]

 Butterbean, you've said what I have thought since they stood on the altar (podium, whatever) and recited their vows. He looked sooo uncomfortable being in the spotlight. He wouldn't look in the camera, which made it look like he was avoiding Jessica. He does not seem like the typical reality show person who loves to air their dirty laundry in public. I think Vaughn was kind of like that. Also, I don't agree that he's not in to Jessica. It seems to me he really likes her. Ryan has got old school tendencies; probably inherited from his grandpa. He is very in to being the man who supports the woman. There's a lot of people who would laugh at that, but it's actually kind of sweet. There's not that many guys who think like that anymore.

 

Wow, I must be old (56) because most men I have known in my age bracket feel responsible for supporting a woman, if not completely then at least half way, and if not half way then in some fantasy way in their own minds, LOL.  I've always felt it was sweet even if for the most part unnecessary.  Then again I have not liked men without a certain sense of financial responsibility towards a woman because it usually goes along with a lack of a sense of responsibility in other areas too.  Men tend to put supporting a "family" together in one category that includes wife and kids, so if he doesn't feel responsible for one how will he feel responsible for the other?

 

That said, what you and Butterbean are saying ties into what I've been repeating over way too many times:  That Ryan stormed out on Jessica because she made public a private tiff they had, which he preferred would stay in private.  She re-opened the issue plus aired the dirty laundry publicly.  Being an introvert and a private person myself (except on anonymous chat boards, lol) I'm not sure I wouldn't have reacted somewhat similarly myself minus a little bit of the drama.  But then again I can give him slack for the stress of the situation and the intrusion of having a camera shoved in his private business 24/7.  He may not have realized how that was going to feel in practice when he signed on for the show.

[aradia22]

Ryan and Jessica have a weird tension about the littlest things. Why didn't she just say she didn't want to stay in the apartment she had gotten with her ex? Why did he keep pushing like she was hiding something/owed him an explanation? I don't know. These two... Also, I know it's for the cameras but they talk things out in a very strange way. At times I expect that it's from one of those talking head interviews but no, they're actually saying those things to each other's faces. 

 

So I'm guessing the number of attractive, relatively successful people who don't have major hang ups who signed up to be on this show is not very high. Reality show contestants aren't the most normal, stable bunch to begin with without even adding the marrying a stranger aspect. Still, I kind of wonder how this would work if they could somehow find people who didn't have all these red flags and issues to negotiate. And are they purposefully looking for these people who do have issues or are they doing their best with what they've got?

 

OK, San Francisco. Calm down on repping Manhattan.

 

Why put people together who live so far apart... especially since it doesn't seem like they asked them if they'd be willing to move far away from their jobs/families/etc. for a relationship? Still, even if this is all fake, I do think it's great that Ryan and Jaclyn would compromise that much by finding a place in Queens. 

 

What is Sean talking about? It's NY. You can get food almost anywhere. Unless maybe you're in one of the industrial areas with a lot of office buildings. And they deliver the mail to your apartment.

 

Maybe one of the experts should have more concrete knowledge. Someone who gives advice on finances or life planning. You could totally get rid of the sexologist or Greg for that. Also, how much more does she make in pharmaceutical sales than he makes as an ER nurse?

 

WTF is "business services"? That's one of those phrases that doesn't actually mean anything.

 

OK, Davina. Sean doesn't need to move to NY "for himself." I did enjoy watching the apartment hunting though. A lot of real estate shows show you glamorous places so this is a nice change of pace.

 

Greg... what purpose do you serve? Seriously sometimes I feel like you could get a random person off the street to narrate what's happening in their lives and it would be just as useful as his soundbites.

 

OH MY GOD, DAVINA. Paraphrasing, she basically said "you're too busy having feelings when you should be making me feel special." What? Is Davina actually Vaughn?

 

I don't know how to feel about the closet situation for Ryan and Jessica. I mean, I'm of the mind that women should get the closets. But it seemed like the apartment had two closets? I was unclear. Also, she has to speak up and not just swallow her resentment and make passive aggressive comments hoping he'll just give in. He seems somewhat reasonable but also like someone who needs a rational argument for why things should be a certain way. It would be nice if he were just more considerate but for all the talk about making a marriage work, they have only known each other a short while and there don't seem to be many tender feelings.

 

I don't get Sean being creepy. I think that both he and Davina speak like robots.

 

Aw, I don't care if it's fake. Ryan and Jaclyn are adorable.

[aradia22]

 

and Drug company sales people are the sleaziest of the sleazes..they dress up all fancy and interrupt doctors bee essing bout how great some overpriced drug is for the big pharmaceutical companies who make a shitload of money if they can get the doctor to use the new drug and give her a big commission. I don't like these people! I've seen them in the doctor's office with their suitcases.

 

I agree on pharmaceutical sales people.  Many just out of college take on this job until they find something better.  If you look at the professions in bios on most reality shows there is at least one young person who does this.

 

Some of them are perfectly nice. Not in a "paid to be nice" kind of way. I mean of course that's there (and most doctors aren't obtuse enough to not see that) but it's much easier to hire people who are used to being friendly and getting along with people than going out and finding charismatic sociopaths who are good at mimicking human behavior. Yeah, some of them are super fake but they're a diverse bunch. It's not just all former cheerleaders.

 

This experiment is too short. IMHO. How do you know anything about someone in 6 weeks?

Yeah but much longer and it might defy the Geneva conventions.

 

The problem with Astoria (I have a good friend who lived there for several years) is that it's not upscale and sophisticated enough for Ryan and Jaclyn for the long haul.

How upscale is she though, really? She decorated her bathroom in magenta in leopard. 

 

Google maps is smoking dope to put it at an hour and a half.

They also think the subway system is a teleportation device.

 

Ryan has a very typically Long Island accent.  The stopped up nose is not part of that, though.

I live in NY. His voice does bother me but I've gotten used to it more or less. For some reason the first time I heard it I thought of the Wahlberg's.

 

NONE of the people I know have degrees in the sciences, they're all BA in communications, English, anthropology etc.  And they all have a certain "look" to them, much like Davina and also Ryan D.  Young, thin, attractive and very well dressed (also paid for on the corporate card).  As a person in the medical field in a family who are all also medical professionals, I can tell you that drug reps are universally loathed by the medical communities that they serve.  The only real reason that they're tolerated is because they give samples which the doctors then can give to patients who can't afford their prescriptions.

I definitely know one woman who studied a hard science. I can't remember what it was. I think she might have wanted to be a doctor or dentist and then decided against it. There was another who either minored in science or studied a softer science. As for the look, I think it varies. I know a very sweet girl who's tall and thin but over-tanned. She also doesn't apply her makeup that well. Some of the guys are older, in their mid-thirties to late-forties. Maybe even mid-fifties. It's rarer but if someone is doing well and has good relationships with doctors (and hasn't quit by that age) I guess they don't get rid of them. To me, they don't dress that well. The guys are in suits but the women tend to wear something bland (that doesn't look that expensive or stylish) in black. And no, they're not universally loathed.

[aradia22]

 

When Jessica and Ryan were going to sleep in their new apartment, Jessica was trying to be close and Ryan is just not the affectionate type, Jessica needs to think about that reality.

They've cuddled before. She wanted to sleep on his chest. The man's not a mattress.

 

I don't know how they got matched. [...] Very far fetched.

If we made a drinking game and drank every time some variation of this was written we'd all have alcohol poisoning.

 

It's interesting that Jessica is a secretary in a law firm and hasn't become more assertive as a result. I imagine that it can be a very demanding job and that you can be steamrolled unless you speak up once in a while.

It didn't occur to me before but now I kind of wonder if she met her ex at her job. Have I just seen too many rom-coms and soaps?

[Wings]

I'm just erring on the side of caution regarding spoilers. I love spoilers, but I sometimes go out of my way to protect the spoiler averse posters. And there are people on PTV who are very, very fussy about not wanting to be spoiled. So that's where I'm coming from as a mod.

As a regular poster, I dislike that the couples are being treated like lab rats by the "experts."

 

This bothers me, too.  If they were having sessions with a psychologist to address problems and offer solutions in conflict resolution I would see this experiment as more valid.  "Let's demonstrate that with proper guidance and knowledge almost anyone, matched on paper, can succeed ."  But this is not what they are doing.  They are watching rats in a cage. 

[Snarklepuss]

 

It's interesting that Jessica is a secretary in a law firm and hasn't become more assertive as a result. I imagine that it can be a very demanding job and that you can be steamrolled unless you speak up once in a while.

 

Sorry but I have to correct this - Jessica is a receptionist in a law firm.  There is a big difference between a legal secretary and a receptionist.  Depending on the firm, she could just be the cute young face sitting in the chair smiling and greeting guests.  A lot of times receptionists want to become admin. assistants but lack the skills and polish so they are passed over and only given menial tasks instead.  I suppose it could vary by the firm, but nothing so far about Jessica has made me think she is more than the above.

[molshoop]

 

This bothers me, too.  If they were having sessions with a psychologist to address problems and offer solutions in conflict resolution I would see this experiment as more valid.  "Let's demonstrate that with proper guidance and knowledge almost anyone, matched on paper, can succeed ."  But this is not what they are doing.  They are watching rats in a cage.

 

    Maybe They did give plenty of counseling to Jessica and Ryan D. as well as Sean and Davina.

 

  If those two relationships failed anyway, it would reflect badly on their matchmaking and therapy skills. 

 

  So, just having talking heads about how those two couples communicate poorly, etc. is an attempt keep the blame off of themselves.

 

[Wings]

    Maybe They did give plenty of counseling to Jessica and Ryan D. as well as Sean and Davina.

 

  If those two relationships failed anyway, it would reflect badly on their matchmaking and therapy skills. 

 

  So, just having talking heads about how those two couples communicate poorly, etc. is an attempt keep the blame off of themselves.

 

 

In my scenario, we should be seeing evidence of that.  My point is to have that be the statement/vision behind the experiment.  If they are doing this on the sly to help the outcome so their experiment looks valid, that is a different. 

[JapMo]

Sorry but I have to correct this - Jessica is a receptionist in a law firm.  There is a big difference between a legal secretary and a receptionist.  Depending on the firm, she could just be the cute young face sitting in the chair smiling and greeting guests.  A lot of times receptionists want to become admin. assistants but lack the skills and polish so they are passed over and only given menial tasks instead.  I suppose it could vary by the firm, but nothing so far about Jessica has made me think she is more than the above.

 

It depends on the office, but a lot of receptionists for big firms do a hell of a lot of work...it's not really menial. Especially if you have guys who don't have secretaries dumping their work on you all the time. And then the secretaries act all snooty or they overcompensate and gush over every little thing you do. Oh don't even get me started, LOL.

[Wings]

I think it is common for people to inflate their jobs, if only a little, in their profiles.  Jessica has a pronounced accent and piercing, something, that many firms would avoid in the interest remaining neutral for clients of all types.   I think she probably works in a very small office with the type of lawyer we often see on TV working above a car repair.  I clearly watch too much TV and read way too many detective novels with shifty lawyers!   Feel free to ignore! 

Edited May 1, 2015 by wings707

[Snarklepuss]

I agree with Wings707.  My mother was a legal admin. back in the day they were called secretaries in "white shoe" law firms in Manhattan.  I won't bore you with the details but she had an amazing career.  She even worked for a man who later became the Baseball Commissioner in NY.  This is not your typical admin. career.  My mother would roll over in her grave to think that anyone would put Jessica anywhere near her level.  I never saw anyone who reminded me of Jessica in any of the firms my mother worked for during her career, unless it was in the mail room.  I don't even think Jessica would qualify to be called a part of the "service center" (which in my mom's day was called the "steno pool").  Jessica does not impress me as being particularly smart or a hard worker.  As an executive assistant myself in a Fortune 100 company (not legal), I think I know how to tell one admin. from another.  Jessica reminds me of the receptionist in my office - In her late 20s, sits there all day doing mostly menial jobs because she is not paid to do more than that nor can she handle it.  Sorry, but I calls 'em as a I sees 'em.

[Marlene]

Wow I am pleased about myself. it seems I should learn to trust my instincts a but more because at the beginning everybody loved Davina and Sea and Jessica but I did not like them. I did like Ryan from Jaclyn and I also did not like Jaclyn's behaviour.

 

Now it seems I was right. Davina is horrible. I also am not a fan of Jessica's passive aggressive behaviour and one thing I do know now is this show has nothing to do with realy pairing up the best couple but all with making good TV.

 

I think they just looked at the lists of people who wanted to be famous or on a show and then checked who were good on TV because not everybody can handle the cameras. Then last was who will we set up with whom? Not for a great result for the couple but for a great result for the makers of this show.

 

You do not pair someone like Jessica with Ryan. Not fair on both not just Jessica. Then Davina. what a horrible person. He left the apartment not for work but because she is constantly telling him what he is doing wrong and can't relax. Nothing is her fault of course. He said he was willing to relocate but if you have to live with such a dominating woman you would say bye bye too. I would if I were a man ;)

 

Jessica is annoying too. When Ryan came home from work she asked if he was hungry. Apparently she had done nothing and he hoped she had a meal ready but no she decided to wait so he can tell her what to make? I m sure what ever she had cooked for him would be eaten and appreciated. Her behaviour is so annoying to me because I used to be a bit like her. For me it was because I did not want to hurt someone else but she does not want any conflict she says. Weird because when there was conflict she was definitely not the shy submissive type. (oops sorry beginning of ep 7)

 

Sometimes I feel like this season is fake and they all know it. They just do this to become famous being o the telly.

 

Funny how Jaclyn is acting the same as Jamie did although with Jamie I give her that it did feel real and I am not feeling this couple's love so far how much I want it to be real.

[GeorgiaRai]

Sorry for all the "likes" I added to this old thread today.  I didn't join the forum until later in the season, so I'm still catching up on my reading (a/k/a feeding my snark addiction).