An Update On Our Family

[DanaK]

Quote

HBO 3-part doc series premieres Wednesday January 15 2025, time TBA and streams on Max

Logline: AN UPDATE ON OUR FAMILY explores the complex and symbiotic world of family vlogging - a phenomenon in which parents post a steady stream of lifestyle videos on their social media channels to be consumed by loyal subscribers whose views in turn generate money for the vloggers themselves. After controversy around former family vloggers Myka and James Stauffer went public, new scrutiny arose around the industry. The documentary raises questions about what motivates vloggers to expose their lives to the world and examines the issues surrounding making their children's lives public. The three-part series exposes the hidden-in-plain-sight, unregulated family vlogging industry.

 

[DanaK]

Time will be 9pm ET per HBO's schedule

[DanaK]

Full press release http://www.thefutoncritic.com/news/2025/01/07/hbo-original-three-part-documentary-series-an-update-on-our-family-debuts-january-15-734311/20250107hbo02/

Trailer

 

[DanaK]

Interesting first episode. First, I think once a family blogger earns a lot of money, brings in sponsors and turns the thing into a business, it’s no longer real (or maybe that happens when sponsors/brands come into it). Second, it’s one thing to blog about yourself and take away your own privacy, but parents shouldn’t be involving their kids because they are too young to consent. Also, viewers who keep wanting more and more are responsible as well for the bloggers losing all privacy and taking things too far into things probably no longer being real and of course exposing their kids without their consent

We’ll see how the rest of the episodes go, especially in regards to adopted child Huxley

[IntrovertRed]

First thoughts;  the idea of having to vlog everyday sounds exhausting. And if you have to constantly be creative to come up with ideas, record yourself, then edit, etc., when do you actually have time to focus on the children and actually be an actual involved parent?

I get bad vibes from The Earl family. 

[Quilt Fairy]

5 hours ago, IntrovertRed said:

the idea of having to vlog everyday sounds exhausting. And if you have to constantly be creative to come up with ideas, record yourself, then edit, etc., when do you actually have time to focus on the children and actually be an actual involved parent?

I'm just disappointed that all these women seem to focus exclusively on pumping out babies and being SuperMom.  

Also, I don't know who is in charge of documentaries at HBO these days, but they seem to be paying by the minute.  Just like the excruciatingly boring Hot Yoga one, the producers are taking multiple episodes to drag out a story that Dateline or 20/20 could tell in 45 minutes plus commercials. 

[bilgistic]

I am going to sound like an old person, but I hate that random nobodies are given airtime to "report" on other random nobodies. I also hate that I wasted an hour(?) of my life in this crap.

[DanaK]

On 1/19/2025 at 8:19 PM, Quilt Fairy said:

I'm just disappointed that all these women seem to focus exclusively on pumping out babies and being SuperMom.  

 

Maybe that’s what gets the most attention, especially with new moms looking for guidance. A lot of people love babies. I do wonder if any of these SuperMoms work outside the home, as it seems like a lot of work to film and edit your daily life. But the viewers certainly take it to an obsessive degree. It’s like they are living their lives through these people and these SuperMoms seem to be living their lives to please their viewers, though that is likely lies and tricks to keep the viewers interested. I think it starts as innocent but at some point, it becomes manipulation to make money and build a business

[cpcathy]

I wonder what family vlogging will look like when those kids are surly teenagers or go off to college or decide they don’t want to be recorded anymore. 

[MadyGirl1987]

15 hours ago, cpcathy said:

I wonder what family vlogging will look like when those kids are surly teenagers or go off to college or decide they don’t want to be recorded anymore. 

There will be new families. A never-ending cycle. Like with most influencers/public figures, the attention with go shift to someone else.

[IntrovertRed]

At a certain point, I stopped posting (and removed) photos of my kids on Facebook and Instagram.  Once they were older, I asked if I could post on my Facebook/Instagram; occasionally they said yes because I don't have a huge friend list/following and it's mostly family. But I always respected their wishes when I was typically told no. 

So far, only three states have child influencer laws. So there will definitely be new families vlogging even though you'd expect people would rethink the concept, especially after the Franke family.  With the money some of these family vloggers could be making, a recent episode of the Kate Casey podcast said that some could make up to 8 million dollars a year(!), ALL states should be enacting child influencer laws.  I wonder how much the Earl famly is making.  I doubt they expected that appearing on this show could hurt their reputation, but is it wrong that I hope it does?  They just give off a totally icky vibe. 

I've always wondered if fans of the family vloggers (and all social influencers actually) actually buy a brand simply because it's promoted by family vloggers/influencers, particularly because we all KNOW they are promoted due to being paid to do so?  The whole concept of it is fascinating to me. Do the branding companies just save so much money on marketing that it doesn't matter how many fans actually purchase a promoted item?  

Finally, watching Huxley being introduced to the family knowing how terrified he must have been, and then knowing he had to go thru it again after being with the Stauffers for two years, my heart truly aches for him.  I'm sure/hope he is better with the family he is with now, but that's a lot of turmoil for such an innocent young child to go through. And sadly, he's not the only one. I hope the series discusses or shows ways to prevent this from happening over and over. Or maybe I'm just too naive.

Edited January 25 by IntrovertRed

[merylinkid]

Here's what happens when the kids grow up and start having opinions of their own on being used for "content" by their own parents:

https://www.today.com/parents/family/influencer-children-rcna175057

[Quilt Fairy]

On 1/25/2025 at 4:59 PM, IntrovertRed said:

I've always wondered if fans of the family vloggers (and all social influencers actually) actually buy a brand simply because it's promoted by family vloggers/influencers, particularly because we all KNOW they are promoted due to being paid to do so?

To me, it's no different from watching a commercial on television.  While that commercial might make me aware of a product I hadn't heard of before, I would never buy a product just because someone else uses it.  But I've also never been impressed by celebrity endorsements of any kind.  And I'm a boomer who supposedly grew up in a simpler age.  I would have thought a younger, more social media savvy generation would have more skepticism. 

[MadyGirl1987]

I liked how they had that mom who had a failed adoption speak, since it did give some insight into what caused the Stauffers to give Huxley up since, while I don't like how they used him on their channel, I'm sure the decision to give up custody of him was not taken lightly. I'm glad it sounds like he is doing well with his new family, from the description of the CPS visit. Honestly, a child with that many needs probably will do better in another family without 3 other children where there is more opportunity for one-on-one attention, and is probably a calmer environment.

Also; I was shocked at how much vitriol was thrown at the Stauffers. I can't imagine the mental gymnastics needed to be appalled at what they did to Huxley, which is a legitimate reaction, but at the same time send death threats to the other children. Make it make sense. Social media really brings out the worst mob mentality in people...

[DanaK]

2 hours ago, MadyGirl1987 said:

I liked how they had that mom who had a failed adoption speak, since it did give some insight into what caused the Stauffers to give Huxley up since, while I don't like how they used him on their channel, I'm sure the decision to give up custody of him was not taken lightly. I'm glad it sounds like he is doing well with his new family, from the description of the CPS visit. Honestly, a child with that many needs probably will do better in another family without 3 other children where there is more opportunity for one-on-one attention, and is probably a calmer environment.

Also; I was shocked at how much vitriol was thrown at the Stauffers. I can't imagine the mental gymnastics needed to be appalled at what they did to Huxley, which is a legitimate reaction, but at the same time send death threats to the other children. Make it make sense. Social media really brings out the worst mob mentality in people...

I think it was clear from first episode that Mrs. Stauffer had too rosy a view of adopting a child with special needs and didn't realize how hard it would be even though she was told it was hard

[Wiendish Fitch]

I just finished watching the final installment, and while I'm willing to take a more nuanced look at the Stauffers, I still don't like them. Don't get me wrong: the death threats aimed at their kids were every shade of unforgivable, and we must be careful about participating in online dogpiling. Grumbling a little on a forum is one thing (hi, me!), but publicly venting your rage on more visible platforms can have unforeseen consequences.

On the other hand, while my sympathies are 100% with the kids, I still look at Myka and James (remember him?) with a slightly more jaundiced eye. Adoption is a massive, life-changing decision, and it should never be entered into lightly. I couldn't help but wince at how they bragged about finding an agency that could speed up the process (seriously, what's the rush?). I really do feel for Huxley, who had a life, identity, and different name before coming here, only to be thrust into a whole other family. I can sympathize if it absolutely had to be done... but this is why you don't publicize the lives of your family. No family is perfect, mistakes get made, and maybe it's better if you keep that shit private, not just for your sake but for the sake of your kids.

If nothing else, I hope Huxley is doing okay. I also hope that Myka and James have learned the value of privacy and reticence, and they're just letting their kids live a normal life. 

[Pi237]

I can’t believe people get so invested in these family vlogs. A minute into the Earl Dads super enthusiastic Yaaaay!s and I was done. These fake super happy people give me the ick. 

It’s got to be an emotional development impediment for a growing child to seek their parents eyes and instead see a phone pointed at them. It’s unnatural. Taking occasional pictures, ok. But filming big moments with big emotions while acting the scene is so bizarre. Kids aren’t dumb. They sense when you’re acting fake.  Those poor kids. Not worth the money to stunt their emotional development or reinforce the idea that you have to be HAPPY SUPER UPBEAT AWESOME HAPPY! when Mom and Dad demand it.  So Fake it freaks me Out & Im a grown adult.   
 

But, oddly, there’s a huge audience for these weirdos. I don’t get it. 
 

As for Huxley, I hope he’s in a caring, patient home where performing isn’t expected of him. That, no doubt, was too much pressure on a child who already had challenges connecting with others.  
 

I appreciated the bravery of the woman who admitted she had to surrender an adoption as well. Showing her face and admitting that she had thoughts of harming the child was super brave considering the vigilante crazies out there.  It’s hard enough to raise a child under the best of circumstances.  I sympathize with the parents who have to admit they’re just not equipped to handle it.  Although, it’s heartbreaking to have a child feel neglected, Again. 
 

I had less sympathy for the Stauffers because they kept making videos, knowing Huxley wasn’t enjoying it, wasn’t responding well to the ‘scenes.’ You could see the anger on Myka’s face when he wouldn’t be ‘cute.’ For the camera.  And hear in her voice that she was treating Huxley like a typical misbehaving child instead of one with communication challenges.  They got in over their heads and I can sympathize with that, but they were warned over and over and only cared about looking like saviors of this child. It was more about them than Huxley.  But I wouldn’t threaten them-as that one person pointed out, all these angry Randos used Huxley for their own clicks, too. 

[Salacious Kitty]

Yeah, I found out about the Stauffers via being linked to someone's critical YouTube.