S18.E14: Qualifiers 2 / S18.E15: Qualifiers 2 Results

[Mr. Sparkle]

Tuesday, August 29th - Eleven performers take the stage live from the Pasadena Civic Auditorium as judging is turned over to the audience to vote for their favorite performer to move to the final round.

Wednesday, August 30th - Two acts from the previous night's show move on to the final round of competition.

If you're watching after the initial airing, winners will be revealed. 

[ams1001]

• Chioma & the Atlanta Drum Academy: the little guys are cute but I wouldn't pay to see them. I'm too tired for such chaos.
• Family Singers: Didn't expect Kansas...I'm kinda with Howie, to be honest. (Even though I still don't think they should be able to buzz when they have no say anymore.)
• Ukrainian balancing act that fell the first time: How long has it been in real time since the auditions, if she broke her elbow and can perform now?
• Erica Coffelt, "hip-hop" dancer in mom jeans: Why. Still waiting for her to pop out of her shirt (though this one seemed less dangerous than the looser t-shirt she wore for the audition, despite the lower cut). What did she just scream at us? I have no clue. I am definitely with Simon on this one (though it took him two performances to realize it's "actually terrible"?)
• Alfie Andrew: He's a good singer but I feel like the praise was a little much.
• Ahren Belisle: He was funny; I love the dog.
• Dani Kerr: Okay song, I guess. I got distracted reading a stupid Bored Panda article.
• Ryland: Yeah, sure, you snuck into the empty theater last night. Uh huh. He's cute but this dragged.
• Andrew Stanton, danger act: welp, that's my cue to go wash a few dishes or something...
• Steel Panther: they give me middle school flashbacks. I barely understood a word of the song. Does that mean I'm old now?
• So, is it only two that can go through, or what?
• Glad he's A-OK, but do I want to know what happened to Andrew Stanton?
• Murmuration: Very cool. My favorite act of the night. All the more impressive knowing that some of them are as young at 12, and they are all so in sync.
• Besides Murmuration, I have no idea who else might go through. Not sure I'd vote for any of 'em.

[BuckeyeLou]

The French group, Murmuration, were amazing tonight!  The only group I voted for tonight.   The Drum Line boys were fun & energetic.  

[Mr. Sparkle]

Well, even with a slow start, and some real clunkers, it was a definite improvement over last week. 

• Chioma & the Atlanta Drum Academy - they're ok. More energy than talent. 
• Sharpe Family Singers - whoever said "cruise ship" was right. They can sing, but it's so saccharine. I could see them playing in Disneyland. Wrong song choice. 
• Three G - I'm usually bored with this kind of act, but I actually watched and paid attention to their entire act. I wonder if that falling during the auditions was just a schtick. 
• Erica Coffelt - look, she seems nice. But this isn't even cruise ship, it's office talent show at best. 
• Alfie Andrew - I don't like him at all. 
• Ahren Belisle - he has some genuinely funny material. The timing was off in spots, but I understand the limitations. 
• Dani Kerr - not interested. 
• Ryland Petty - seems like a nice kid, and the dad stuff was nice, but I lost interest and we've seen versions of this trick many times before. 
• Andrew Stanton - that was different! The eye trick was tough to watch, but the act was interesting. 
• Steel Panther - I really couldn't understand most of the words, and neither could the closed-caption bot. They're ok, but I don't really want to see them in the finals. 
• Murmuration - the end message was a little on the nose, but the actual act is mesmerizing in parts. Obviously going to the finals. 

Other than Murmuration, it's a tough call. 

Maybe: Drum Academy, Three G, Alfie, Ahren, Ryland

Unlikely: Dani, Andrew Stanton, Steel Panther

Nope: Sharpe Family, Erica

I was wrong about the dog act last week. If Erica goes through, I'm not making any more predictions. 

[Lonesome Rhodes]

Another really bad week.  Not one of the acts was special.  

3G, Murmuration, and Steel Panther did what they do just fine.  The very great problem for them, and for us, is that it has all been done.  The metal song was a horrible choice.  There are any number of hardcore songs that are rather melodic and definitely more known.  Maybe they can do a cool jazz number if they somehow advance.  That would be an improvement.

This ep brought out the "overdoing" or "trying too hard" in spades.  The family singers trying to be "cool" was cringe-worthy.  Simon's constant warnings to the acts that they need to go beyond their initial audition most often leads to silliness, and worse.

The drum line evoked genuine anger in me.  Drum lines do NOT rely upon verbal noise.  Having the younger ones shouting and screaming as though they were in war training told me all I need to know:  They are not good enough to make it as a drum line and they must rely on gimmicks.  Simon strikes again.

Poor Sofia has spent the last two weeks trying like crazy to hide her weight gain.  The best move was holding bent arms (like a football official signaling Offside) while sitting in the chair.  Anytime she decides to stand in applause, she very quickly sits and is always the first to do so.  Is she under contract for any more seasons?

 

[ams1001]

4 hours ago, Superclam said:

Erica Coffelt - look, she seems nice. But this isn't even cruise ship, it's office talent show at best. 

She reminds me of my friends and me in the basement when we were 12. And we were not dancers of any kind. 
 

4 hours ago, Superclam said:

Andrew Stanton - that was different! The eye trick was tough to watch, but the act was interesting. 

The very phrase “eye trick” tells me washing dishes was the right choice. 

[ams1001]

12 hours ago, Lonesome Rhodes said:

Poor Sofia has spent the last two weeks trying like crazy to hide her weight gain.

I hadn't noticed that last night, but tonight's outfit is not helping with the color blocking that at first glance makes it look like she's wearing a bikini top. She looks fine to me, though. I hope Sofia is really okay with making her divorce a thing on the show. Seems kinda crappy to do that.

And now on to the results.

Top Five:

• Chioma & The Atlanta Drum Academy vs Dani Kerr: Cute kids win. Shocking.
• Alfie Andrew vs Sharpe Family Singers: Between the two of them, definitely the right choice. Also I like his jacket.
• Andrew Stanton vs Ahren Belisle: Oh, thank god. I don't have to do dishes during the finals. (Well, there's still that other sword guy coming up next week, so I guess we'll see about that.)
• Three G vs Ryland: Cute kid wins again! It was kind of bugging me that only one member of Three G was wearing pants while the other two were in shorts, but she wasn't in the middle...the asymmetry of it.
• Murmuration vs Erica Coffelt vs Steel Panther: Sorry, Terry, but your "tension-building" long pause didn't work. We all knew Murmuration was moving on.

Shin Lim and his gravity-defying hair are back. I enjoyed the musical interlude more than the card trick...haven't heard that song in forever. The "good luck" message at the end was sweet. (How does it feel being back on the stage five years after his win? Hasn't he been there every year since?)

Top Three:

• Ahren Belisle
• Chioma & The Atlanta Drum Academy
• Murmuration

Top Two moving on to Finals:

• Ahren Belisle
• Murmuration

Thanks for letting Ahren finish his sentence, Terry (the stage manager or someone was probably signaling to move it along, but still, rude). I think we ended up with the right two out of this bunch.

[Mr. Sparkle]

No surprises tonight. I'm actually happy for Ahren, I hope this leads to a career for him. 

[Frisky Wig]

“There hasn’t been a family band since the Osmonds!”

Me: “the fact that it’s hokey, cheesy, lame as hell might have something to do with that.” 

[ams1001]

21 minutes ago, Frisky Wig said:

“There hasn’t been a family band since the Osmonds!”

Me: “the fact that it’s hokey, cheesy, lame as hell might have something to do with that.” 

C'mon get happyyyyy!

[rr2911]

This morning I started to type my take on last night's performances, but something more important came up.  Then another thing and another and....you get my point.  This season just hasn't been the best.  Not by a long shot.

Murmuration is the only performance that I liked.  

The comedian, the two kid performers, the three pretty girls, the drumline and all the rest were either boring, not funny or just plain lousy like that mom dancer.

Murmuration is the best act of the season.  There is no way they can lose out right?  Well, then they showed next week 11 performers and I turned to my wife and said "oh! oh!"

That blind Indonesian girl is probably this season's "Kodi Lee" and will probably take home the million.

[Vermicious Knid]

You forgot the other blind girl. They may end up cancelling each other out. 

Tickled that Shin Lim built an entire routine around a Sting song. 

[lambertman]

I skipped the auditions and just started watching with the live shows.  (Anything I really need to go back and see? I assume not :) )

Woof, this season is just dire. Both the acts and the overall production values  have really declined (and they weren't exactly great the last two years, either). Even ditching the old theme song is a miss (it was no "Where Everybody Knows Your Name" but it's hella better than what they're doing now out of breaks). They've even made me sick of Light Balance.

What the hell was that with Terry and Craig Robinson singing along with a full (and overpowering) vocal track of Vanessa Carlton last week? Like seriously, who greenlit that?

Murmuration was pretty good and clearly the class of the night, but even they feel like a poor man's Mayyas. 

Every kid act has been a really tough watch. I felt my soul leave my body during the ventriloquist and magician kids' acts.

[Mr. Sparkle]

20 minutes ago, lambertman said:

(Anything I really need to go back and see? I assume not :) )

No. I really can't think of a single "must see" moment. The Mumurations audition was ok, but their second performance was about the same. And yes, you can't help but compare them to the Mayyas. 

[Lonesome Rhodes]

I was very happily surprised that the drum line did not make final two.  It was a Murmuration night, anyway.  We all knew that.

Speaking of...it was a mistake to not name them first as Top 5 and then 3 and then 2.  It took away several minutes of whatever suspense there was as it was a certainty that they would win the night, imo.  Someone(s) were asleep at the switch.