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S18.E04: Auditions 4

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  • "Zombie a-pole-calypse." Haha, Howie. Horrifying and amazing. (Was not expecting that voice...)
  • Freedom Singers (hey, look, I actually caught someone's name! That's like, two, so far this season). Are we singing or doing a PSA? It's a talent show, not a telethon. (Am I heartless? Maybe. Sorry.)
  • Gospel Red Hot Chili Peppers. Interesting... they're good singers. If it were later in the episode I'd be expecting the GB for their sob story.
  • Indian acrobat group. Would have been better if I was watching them instead of the audience/judges looking shocked. Yes, Heidi, I would have loved to have looked at how high that one was but I was watching you point and shout instead.
  • Country singer. She's got a good voice I guess; I'm not a country fan. (Oh, jesus, Simon. Knock it off. Of course she brought another song. I'm sure the producers told her to.)
  • Alien ventriquolist (as Sofia puts it). Um.
  • Stupid act montage. No.
  • Sofia messing with Simon when he lost his voice was kind of fun. Singing telegram not so much.
  • Little blond with the long curly hair is too adorable. "When I was little..." You're seven! 😂 Not quite the kind of dancing I expected...
  • The giant dance group was very cool. I appreciate that the show actually let us see a good amount of it, too. (I also thought of the Mayyas while watching them.)
  • Wow, early golden buzzer tonight. Still 40 minutes left. (Of course the group with about zero chance of not going through gets the GB.)
  • Ugh, Howie guffawing at the stand up comedian. His funniest joke was before he even started. And it wasn't that funny.
  • Female comedian was much better. Which is not to say I liked her.
  • I get bored by long drawn-out magic tricks, but the "cardistry" was pretty cool. Don't usually see much in the way of fancy shuffling tricks with these things.
  • Not sure why the combo of singing and Rubik's Cube...I thought her voice was nice at first but at the end it went a little off.
  • Rubik's Cube while on fire. Why. (I did laugh at them playing Blaze of Glory after he was done.)
  • Oddly enough, when I turned on the TV to watch Jeopardy! I caught the "America Strong" segment at the end of the ABC news broadcast, and it was about a Rubik's Cube champion.
Edited by ams1001
didn't mean to post yet
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Simon and his big, huge ego with the stopping singers in the middle of their song because HE’S an expert in singers and song choice and he can command the room simply by raising his hand and *poof* the music stops and everyone looks at him and listens to his every command. 

It happens multiple times a season and I hate it every time  


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I came home late last night and didn't have the energy or interest to watch. I'll watch it tonight, and then I can fast forward through the boring acts! 

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14 hours ago, ams1001 said:

(I did laugh at them playing Blaze of Glory after he was done.)

Quoting myself because I am not laughing anymore. That song has been stuck in my head ever since. And the only words I know are "Shot down in a blaze of glory..."

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A bunch of really bad acts tonight. 

bad: (in no particular order):

guy on fire.

girl singing doing a Rubik’s cube. 

Alien ventriloquist. 
Male comedian. 
country singer. 
Card trick magician. 


Zombie pole dancer. 
Little girl dancer. 
Acrobat group. 
Woman comedian. 
“Homeless” singers. Sorry, I didn’t catch the title of their group. 

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India warriors were sensational.  Surely, they've been on other shows/stages.

Cirque du Creepy dude was a very nice iteration of the genre.  Most of it was repetitive, but the transitions were superior, imo.  He did a great job of selling the horror and maintaining that energy throughout. 

Carolina country girl was just fine with the first song.  I cannot recall in this moment a more obvious negatives reaction from the crowd.  She was playing guitar just fine; the song was interesting, and her tonality was unique and enticing.  fine if she wasn't quite up to standard, but to boo her mercilessly?  Insanity.  Second verse, was more of the first, imo.  Just fine.  Not great.  SYCO manipulation at its worst.  Sir's commentary that he liked both songs is a dead giveaway that the crowd reaction was staged.  If she wants to be where Tom Petty made it, all she needed to do was jump on the 134 which becomes the famous 101, and which is about 1/4 mile North of the theater and head dead West to Reseda.  25-30 minutes.

The French folks would make fine ground crews guiding planes too/from their gates.

Anna displayed a phenomenal stage personality.  Her Simon snark level was just perfect.  I didn't buy that level of surprise from her when her trick hit.  But, in the moment, it was fun.  Interesting that we did not hear of, nor see, any family.  She was truly solo, or at least she was shown to be.

Pyro Rubik evoked the central question of the entire enterprise: "Why?"

I hate myself for it, but I have to admit that I really liked the car commercial at the top.  This show really does spend money (and gets top money) to execute congruent and consistent themes with its own talent (jidges).  I'm sure their lawyers don't come cheap, either. 



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Sigh!  Is the PC term for people without a home now referred to as "houseless"?  What is wrong with homeless?  Oh well, whateverrrrrr!

My eyes rolled around like they were in a pinball machine when that "houseless singing group" came out.  For a second I thought if maybe the judges might make up another Golden Buzzer and award this houseless group one.  I didn't see anything that would make me want to pay to see them.

That dance group that received the Golden Buzzer was well deserved!  There have been very few acts that deserve it.  I would certainly pay to see them perform.  Awsome!

The only other act deserving of my time was the young girl magician.  It was a pretty good act.  The only thing I would suggest to her is not to show that you were unsure of the trick's outcome.

That is all!  See you all next time.

Edited by rr2911
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The golden buzzer dance group really impressed me. As a former musician and sometime dancer, the most amazing thing to me was that they were able to maintain such precision while blindfolded. That music didn’t have the obvious (to me) cues like lyrics or a clear rhythm, and they didn’t even have their director’s cues. I would have been completely lost because I was always too lazy to count, instead relying on specific cues from the music. 

I liked the magician and the India Warriors. 

Sofia being Simon’s mouthpiece entertained me (as well as how she said “ventriculist”).

I liked the country girl but dear god, can we please ditch the Hat of Singer-Songwriterness? It’s time for a new Uniform of Individuality.

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The only positive thing I'll say is that I was able to fast-forward most of it, and probably only spent 45 minutes or so actually watching it. 

The card magician was the best act of the night, IMO. Good tricks and great stage presence. I guess I'm a sucker for that type of act, because I enjoy all of them. 

The French troupe that reminded me of the Mayyas were also pretty good. 

The rest of the show ranged from boring to awful for me. I think Alien Ventriloquist was actually a production assistant in the costume to set up Simon's loss of voice. 

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I thought the current term was 'unhoused'. 

Country singer and Rubik's girl were both bad singers. Did the first one say she was in her low 20s? Because I would have sworn she was over 30. And two Rubik's Cube acts in the same show? That was a stunt, not an act. But the stagehands sure enjoyed blasting him with the fire extinguishers. 

Little girl dancer was cute and enthusiastic with actual talent. Didn't hate the group getting the GB. That was actually original and entertaining. Gen Z magician was also pretty good. Far too much time given to the alien ventriloquist. The show had gotten better at cutting off the bad acts. This must have been approved to air by the same producer who thought the audience enjoyed Sethward. 

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