S05.E03: Sex, Lies, and Prison Wives

[PrincessPurrsALot]

Quote

Monique clashes with Derek's sisters at his release; Gabby's revelation stuns her mother.

Original air date 2022.12.30

[Andyourlittledog2]

What we are watching on this show is why recidivism is so high.  These ex-convicts come out of prison to girlfriends and families who have not been in prison and just expect the newly freed to fit right into the lives they have on the outside like there is no transition at all. I hate the way they just jump all over them and demand attention and immediate conformity to whatever the hell the outsiders are doing at this exact moment. The girlfriends who demand complete attention and 'their place' up against the family of a lifetime. Such pressure. The immediate nagging about what they expect. I'm not talking about heading off bad habits and going back to the streets, I'm talking about stupid life things like Justine nagging constantly about 'family time' when Michael wants to make one phone call. Now is that phone call innocent business or is Michael seeing about taking over his drug empire again now that he's out? Who knows? Gabby vs Chris' family. Monique vs Derek's family. It's always the same. These prisoner girlfriends demand full attention and to be number one, even trying to prevent the actual family from being there at all. That's too much pressure for someone just trying to get their bearings on the outside again. I feel sorry for them.

On another note, I've decided that Derek may be short (and to be fair next to Monique most people are going to look little) but he's handsome. And Chris is much finer looking than I first thought. He's kinda cute, actually. He deserves better than Gabby, that's for sure.

Number one rule of parenting adults, Tina:  You can give them your honest opinion but then you need to stand back and let them live the lives they choose to live with whom they choose to live them. Adults, Tina.  Geez, what a control freak. And her hair is just tragic.

[PrincessPurrsALot]

With all of the sniping between Monique and Derek's family, we missed the chance to truly appreciate the dress one of his sisters was wearing.  When seeing my brother, I always wear something that barely covers my nipples and will expose everything if I lean forward, don't you?  She was giving JustSmug a run for her money. 

12 minutes ago, Andyourlittledog2 said:

What we are watching on this show is why recidivism is so high.  These ex-convicts come out of prison to girlfriends and families who have not been in prison and just expect the newly freed to fit right into the lives they have on the outside like there is no transition at all. I hate the way they just jump all over them and demand attention and immediate conformity to whatever the hell the outsiders are doing at this exact moment. The girlfriends who demand complete attention and 'their place' up against the family of a lifetime. Such pressure. The immediate nagging about what they expect. I'm not talking about heading off bad habits and going back to the streets, I'm talking about stupid life things like Justine nagging constantly about 'family time' when Michael wants to make one phone call. Now is that phone call innocent business or is Michael seeing about taking over his drug empire again now that he's out? Who knows? Gabby vs Chris' family. Monique vs Derek's family. It's always the same. These prisoner girlfriends demand full attention and to be number one, even trying to prevent the actual family from being there at all. That's too much pressure for someone just trying to get their bearings on the outside again. I feel sorry for them.

In addition, they expect people to have fully matured while in prison, even though normal development was stalled.  The outside men want the women to want to immediately have sex and the outside women expect an expensive engagement ring from people with no money. 

[Nuccganggang]

i just wanted to thank those in the live chat - i haven’t made it to one in forever, but i always read the whole thing on sat am, and you guys are fucking HILARIOUS!!!!!

[sempervivum]

Ashley leaves her jewelry inventory in a tiny lockbox that even I could easily pick up and make off with (unless it's alarmed or padlocked to the plumbing?). (I'm guessing Travis' knee socks conceal Aryan Brotherhood tats, no)? He's pretty charming and fairly good looking; once he's run through (or off with) Ashley's money, he should have no trouble finding another victim.

I agree Derek is cute and has a great, though miniature, body. 'Selling drugs since he was 13' should be a red flag to Monique, but she wants a husband, any husband. Also, I don't care how strong he thinks he is, Monique could easily hurt him, he needs to be cautious around her.

Michael is saying the right things, but I suspect 'family family family' and Justine's demands will lose their appeal pretty quickly once he gets back to the rap life. 

Nathan's bringing his tough-talking girl to live in a place that looks like Laura Ashley threw up in it 40 years ago. Good Lord, what a bunch of pseudo-Victorian clutter. Aunt Tina (she's the nice one, right?) is a dear. I have no hope for Nathan's romance.

Chris is clearly headed back to prison- it's a party place, y'all! - and Gabby will be able to move on to the Only Fans 'career' she so richly deserves.

[tvfanatic13]

13 hours ago, Nuccganggang said:

i just wanted to thank those in the live chat - i haven’t made it to one in forever, but i always read the whole thing on sat am, and you guys are fucking HILARIOUS!!!!!

Me too! I guffaw when reading the live chat!

Derek’s sister is trans, right? And that lockbox for the jewelry was laughable Ashley. 

[1011101010001]

On 12/30/2022 at 10:50 PM, Andyourlittledog2 said:

These ex-convicts come out of prison to girlfriends and families who have not been in prison and just expect the newly freed to fit right into the lives they have on the outside like there is no transition at all.

And many of them have spent significant time in solitary confinement for bad behavior so it’s a stimulus overload.

On 12/31/2022 at 12:44 PM, sempervivum said:

Also, I don't care how strong he thinks he is, Monique could easily hurt him, he needs to be cautious around her.

No reverse cowgirl.

[1011101010001]

Hey why pay through the nose for vodka and tequila when you can make identical libations with tomato sauce and sugar?  Who knew?

Hanging out in random parks and woods past curfew is totally worth getting sent back to prison.

isn’t Tina a slang term for meth?  Kinda fitting considering the druggie storyline.  I’m not putting Zanesville on my vacation bucket list.  Not since Dubuque a few seasons ago has a town looked so sad.

[PrincessPurrsALot]

Folks,

Monique is a large woman.  Derek is smaller than her.  That does not open the door to fat shaming Monique or making jokes about how they can have sex.  Large people have sex.  Monique and Derek had sex.  People of all shapes and sizes have sex in different positions based on what they enjoy.  Making such jokes is a form of body shaming; that is not allowed on this forum. 

[Lambie]

On 12/30/2022 at 11:50 PM, Andyourlittledog2 said:

What we are watching on this show is why recidivism is so high.  These ex-convicts come out of prison to girlfriends and families who have not been in prison and just expect the newly freed to fit right into the lives they have on the outside like there is no transition at all.

I'm totally here for the snark but, yeah, this thought hits hard a lot watching this show. Most of them are cretins who would be pieces of shit with or without prison but every now and then you get a glimpse of how hard it must be to integrate back into society. I think it was Crybaby Jeweler's guy who said the colors were overwhelming and too bright. Technology, people, consumerism, and everything else has completely passed them by. When I'm hangry I can't make a decision on anything to save my life. Imagine feeling that way over everything. 

The jury is still out but Ray from last season seems like he is the only one I can remember to integrate successfully. Brittany was a maniac but she loved him and he seems to have responded well to her. Brittany (of Brittany and Marcellino) seems like she did okay but her 0 to 100 temper and wanting to keep her prison girlfriend in a threesome but have Marcellino not have any expectations of his own showed her prison colors. 

[anoninrva]

On 1/3/2023 at 1:08 PM, Lambie said:

The jury is still out but Ray from last season seems like he is the only one I can remember to integrate successfully. Brittany was a maniac but she loved him and he seems to have responded well to her. Brittany (of Brittany and Marcellino) seems like she did okay but her 0 to 100 temper and wanting to keep her prison girlfriend in a threesome but have Marcellino not have any expectations of his own showed her prison colors. 

Ray has a hard road to travel with that restitution, but I agree, he seemed to be sincerely trying to turn his life around.  Brittany and Marcellino seemed completely made up BS, so not so sure there, but they were both felons IIRC.