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Small Talk: 90 Words Per Minute

David T. Cole

By David T. Cole
in 90 Day Fiancé

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Drogo
Drogo

You thought I got paid?  This was just part of the terms of my parole. 

Drogo
Drogo

Here's one after I was unfairly forced to give up my extramarital affair with Lady George Burns.  A BLOW OF EPIC PROPORTIONS.

OnceSane
OnceSane

I'm here, I'm weird and I'm your mod for all the 90 Days....     ...what a blow you all have suffered. 

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cooksdelight

cooksdelight

I've been to Litte Five Points. I went to the place where Hootie and the Blowfish used to play, where one of their gold records hangs on the wall. Can't remember the name of the place if my life depended on it. A friend and I drove down from Richmond to attend a wedding. The entire weekend was like something out of American Horror Story. On our way, we stop at the NC state line to buy gas. There's this HUGE sign that says "Dead End" when we pull into the gas station. I started to pump the gas but nothing happened. I went inside to ask if something was wrong with the pumps and there was this old woman sitting behind the counter. Her head was bowed over and she wasn't moving. The machine was dinging like crazy for her to turn the pump on. I kept saying "Ma'am! Ma'am!" .... Nothing.

I reached over to touch her, thinking she's dead and she's going to fall over. She jumps up and dang near scared me to death. I finally figured out she was deaf. She could have been robbed of everything in the little store and would never have known.

Then we go to this wedding....my friend is diabetic and pulls out some Oreos to munch on while we sit in the church. The ushers are bringing people in, and then walking around the pews before going out. Making a big circle. A kid in front of me said "Mom, I'm getting dizzy watching them".... it was hilarious.

The reception was held in the church's social hall, or whatever it's called. First sign it's going to be a dry wedding (no booze). All they had was this super-sweet punch. I had to go into the kitchen to find water for my diabetic friend because she couldn't drink that crap. We are seated at a table with the groom's family, who are bigtime NASCAR fans. They were complaining about no beer. I glanced over at the gift table and saw this big socket wrench set wtih a bow on it, figured that was from the NASCAR family. The food wasn't bad, until I saw one of the catering people come out to replenish the sliced roast beef....WITH HIS BARE HANDS!! At that point I sort of threw up in my mouth a little. The main guy who was catering the thing looked like Lurch from The Addams Family. He really gave me the creeps. When they cut the cake, they didn't have plates....just napkins. Try eating a piece of dry, crumbly cake on a napkin.

We were staying there in Columbia with a friend at his apt., and when we pulled up he said "Y'all look like you could use a drink." HAHAHAHA!!! Understatement of the year. He and a friend of his took us to Little Five Points that evening, and we had a great time.

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SaucyMommy

SaucyMommy

My favorites are Married at First Sight, Couples Therapy, Marriage Bootcamp Reality Stars, Catfish, Teen Mom (way too old for that show), True Tori (toward the end I got really, really sad for both her kids and Dean what a train wreck, and we watch lots and lots of football.


Oh Oh I also binge watch Love it or List it, Property Brothers and Rehab addict.  We just built a house last year so I'm semi addicting to home improvement shows.


Cooks - did you watch the first season of True Tori?  I seriously was like Poor Tori what a shame.  But season 2 I was like OMG Dean this woman is a hot mess you need to go now.  I seriously feel so bad for her kids.  I mean 127 bins of storage bins.  And an entire room that is bigger than my whole house full of crap.  

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cooksdelight

cooksdelight

I felt sorry for Dean also once I realized that Tori set this show up as a way to embarass him. It backfired. She ended up looking like a total lunatic. That huge storage facility was just like the one Lindsay Lohan had.... did you see her show?

I also feel sorry for those four kids. Dean is a far better parent to them than Tori is.

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essexjan

essexjan

I loved Married at First Sight - a very interesting concept and I correctly predicted who would stay together and who wouldn't.

 

My favourite type of show is the competition reality show - where each week someone is eliminated after failing a task - Project Runway, The Apprentice, etc. I also like cooking shows - Top Chef in particular. I liked that Holiday Baking Competition that was on recently. But I hate Guy's Grocery Games and that stupid Alton Brown Cutthroat Kitchen show.  I watch the Australian and NZ versions of Masterchef, which are so very different from the UK, American and Canadian shows - there's no fake, created drah-mah and the show isn't all about the judges' egos. The contestants are genuinely supportive of one another and there's a great cameraderie that's missing from, particularly, the US Masterchef.

 

In the UK we have The Great British Bake-Off - there was an American version that ran for one season (I think on ABC), but it was cancelled when Paul Hollywood, the (married) British judge who'd been imported for the show had an affair with his co-judge, Marcela Valladolid. It was massive news in the UK for months, he left his wife, was vilified in the press and then all was forgiven and he went back to his wife. But the US network didn't renew the show.

 

But the Great British Bake-Off is one of the biggest shows on UK TV. There was a massive drama this year when one contestant appeared to sabotage another by taking his ice cream out of the freezer so she could put hers in, and he ended up having to throw it away and was eliminated. It was all anyone could talk about for weeks!

 

We also have a televised competitive sewing bee in the UK - it's very genteel and sweet and I love it.

 

I'm glad The Taste is back - I'm not a fan of Nigella (too affected and fake for my liking) but I have a huge crush on Tony Bourdain. He looks like a really dirty guy who could show a girl a very good time...

 

I watch Real Housewives - but only OC and NYC - and participate on the forums when those shows are running.

 

My guilty secret is hoarding shows - Hoarders, Hoarding : Buried Alive and my absolute, all-time favourite, a UK show called Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners - where they take people who have OCD around cleaning round to the homes of hoarders and leave them there. Multiple freakouts on all sides. And wonderful TV. You'll find it online at http://delishows.to/ - which is where I watch most of the US shows that aren't shown on UK TV.

 

 

 

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cooksdelight

cooksdelight

He looks like a really dirty guy who could show a girl a very good time...

My thoughts about Bourdain, exactly!! And Eric Ripert... I once posted that I'd walk across cut glass for him.

I love Top Chef. I've gone to several restaurants that TC people own. And I met Katsuji not long ago. What a sweet, funny man. Not like you see on TV, although we did see a bit of his teasing nature in the last few episodes.

I've applied to Chopped. No response. I am friends with several people who've been on the show, and they've given me advice on how to fill out the application to get noticed. Well folks, if you ever see a blonde lady who says she's playing for her dead cat.... that's me! :)

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SaucyMommy

SaucyMommy

I felt sorry for Dean also once I realized that Tori set this show up as a way to embarass him. It backfired. She ended up looking like a total lunatic. That huge storage facility was just like the one Lindsay Lohan had.... did you see her show?

I also feel sorry for those four kids. Dean is a far better parent to them than Tori is.

 

Seriously, when she was in the hospital the kids were like angels.  I seriously think she is so chaotic and the kids can sense it.  I mean she hasn't taken care of breast implants for 15 years when they were recalled 14 years ago?!  My husband and I were like no wonder this guy drank!  She nit picks and is super anal about what he does but there seems to be ZERO order in the house.  It's like 9 pm every night they are feeding their 2 year old.  My 2 year old is in bed at 730 pm.  I don't get it at all.  I did watch Lindsay Lohan's show.  That was another train wreck.  Said she was sober but hung out with dudes that drank all night long.  

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SaucyMommy

SaucyMommy

The "therapist" who Tori saw should be banned from ever practicing again. She's as bad as Tori.

seriously always egging Tori on and just enabling her bad behavior and SUPER hard on dean but gives Tori zero accountability.  Tori has a lot of yes people in her life.

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Almost 3000

Almost 3000

I felt sorry for Dean also once I realized that Tori set this show up as a way to embarass him. It backfired. She ended up looking like a total lunatic. That huge storage facility was just like the one Lindsay Lohan had.... did you see her show?

I also feel sorry for those four kids. Dean is a far better parent to them than Tori is.

Paris Hilton had storage units too that were sold off and a bunch of raunchy stuff was then sold as tabloid fodder until she legally stopped it.
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essexjan

essexjan

I've gone to several restaurants that TC people own.

 

 

Me too, particularly when I visit NYC.  My favourite is Perilla, but I was shocked to see how fat Harold Dieterle has got - he was the winner of Season 1 and was really hot back then. I've also seen Dave Martin ("I'm not your bitch, bitch") from Season 1 on the subway a few times and after I spoke to him the first time, he recognised me the next time I saw him and spoke to me first. The first time I saw him it was probably 5 years after he'd been on TC and he was genuinely surprised that I remembered him - but he is my all-time favourite TC contestant, so of course I knew exactly who he was as soon as I saw him.

 

I also like to visit the TC Masters' restaurants, but I couldn't get a reservation for Red Rooster on my last visit to NYC a couple of weeks ago. The best TC Masters restaurant I've been to is Barbuto, Jonathan Waxman's restaurant, tucked away in the far reaches of the West Village. I've never tasted roast chicken as good in my life.

 

Some friends of mine wanted to go to Root & Bone in the East Village that's run by Janine from last season's TC, but the reviews weren't great (food good but terrible service) and I think our party would've been too big for the space anyway, so we didn't go.

 

When I was visiting my nephew in Cleveland in August we went to Michael Symon's restaurant, Lola, for lunch. It was fantastic.(We also went to the Christmas Story house, which was an even bigger thrill for me, despite it being in a really sketchy neighbourhood.)

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CassiaTavares

CassiaTavares

Cassia - I just finished reading your blog! Loved it. I had no idea you were a reporter/journalist. That's so cool. Welcome!

Really? Thanks for reading! Yeah, I took three years of Journalism classes in Brazil. I don't think that they mentioned that on the show. I am transferring my credits from Brazil so I can finish here. Being a journalist was my dream since I was 15. My dad wanted me to be a doctor, but I told him I would not study for that. Then he said "so I would like for you to be a journalist". At first I thought it would not be a good idea, but with the time I noticed that journalist is what I wanted to be. Before coming to America I worked for a website for almost three years, but my boss was so crazy so I said bye bye. Hahah

Cassia - which dog is your favorite? Haha!

Hahahahaha I really rather having cats, but Jason's dad is allergic so I cannot have one here. My favorite dog is Cecelia, she wants us to pet her all the time. The dogs sleep with Ron in his room, but I told Jason, no dogs in our room. lol

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cooksdelight

cooksdelight

HA! I worked for a newspaper as both design director and wrote a weekly column....and my boss was crazy so I said bye bye too! :)

Your Illustrator work on your invitations was very nice, you might also want to enhance your graphic design skills along with the journalism, and you'd be a good candidate for jobs at any news site.

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SaucyMommy

SaucyMommy

I have a blog/page for my son. I love to write and thought your perspective was fun. It's neat to see how you are adjusting here. My bachelors degree is in Spanish studies and my major was Latin American culture. I also took 2 Portuguese classes taught in Spanish. So I'm partial to your story

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CassiaTavares

CassiaTavares

I'm watching the Spanish novela. Coming to america and everything being in english all of a sudden must have been frustrating, I hope you have a spanish or portuguese channel lol.

What if I told you we don't have a TV? We went to Wendy's to watch the episodes. When Jason moved out from Illinois he gave away most of his stuff!

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EggoWaffles

EggoWaffles

I was really impressed with your illustrator skills. I had a very strong life drawing and hand illustration portfolio when I was in college, so my only computer forte was photoshop. I know illustrator really well now but it took a lot of training to get used to drawing without a pencil. Kudos to you

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EggoWaffles

EggoWaffles

 

What if I told you we don't have a TV?

That could be a good thing. lol. I know there is a lot of conversation going around.. but I'm dying to ask.. was everyone in the cast just as weirded out by Mo and Dani as we all are?

Damn CooksDelight I owe Hawk a coke now.

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CassiaTavares

CassiaTavares

HA! I worked for a newspaper as both design director and wrote a weekly column....and my boss was crazy so I said bye bye too! :)

Your Illustrator work on your invitations was very nice, you might also want to enhance your graphic design skills along with the journalism, and you'd be a good candidate for jobs at any news site.

Yeah? Having crazy boss screaming all the time is not nice. I was getting sick! 

Awww thanks for the compliment. I had some classes and it was very fun. I had Photoshop too, I learned how to change the hair color, eye color, how to get someone thin, or have bigger butt or boobs. But I forgot everything. LOL

So, let me tell you, I had this talk with someone in Miami, they wanted me to work there as a reporter, sending news to Brazil. But I live in Spring Hill, so... I lost the opportunity. Spring Hill is a very calm city, but we don't have a lot to do in here. Jason and I are thinking about moving. The bad thing about it, is that I would not like his dad living here by himself. He would be so alone and have no one to talk to!

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cooksdelight

cooksdelight

One bit of advice I can give to any of you regarding graphic design and journalism....learn both. Even at the small newspaper I worked at, the editor and everyone else had to do their own page layout. It's the norm now. If you have both of those skills under your belt, you will always be in high demand.

I worked for ad agencies for years as a graphic designer, we were low on the totem pole, so to speak. We made the ad execs (think Don Draper on Mad Men) look good to the clients.

I'm glad I had the journalism experience, and the writing experience. I won close to 100 awards for my design work, two for my writing. :)

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CassiaTavares

CassiaTavares

Cassia, given what you know now....would you do that show again if you knew how you and Jason would be portrayed?

No, I would not do this show again.

Being on the show was more Jason's idea. When he told me I told him no. But he said it would be good to educate people about K1. Well. Idk about you, but I didn't see any educational episode. All this was a big soap opera.

Mohamed has a FB page that says he is a "movie character". LOL

If you stop and think, he is not that wrong. Hahaha

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TonyasBlueEyeshado

TonyasBlueEyeshado

Yeah? Having crazy boss screaming all the time is not nice. I was getting sick!

Awww thanks for the compliment. I had some classes and it was very fun. I had Photoshop too, I learned how to change the hair color, eye color, how to get someone thin, or have bigger butt or boobs. But I forgot everything. LOL

So, let me tell you, I had this talk with someone in Miami, they wanted me to work there as a reporter, sending news to Brazil. But I live in Spring Hill, so... I lost the opportunity. Spring Hill is a very calm city, but we don't have a lot to do in here. Jason and I are thinking about moving. The bad thing about it, is that I would not like his dad living here by himself. He would be so alone and have no one to talk to!

Oooooh that would be a good show. Ron as "The Bachelor" - ladies who use regular mops need not apply. And MsMagoo could screen the applicants

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